Fic: And The Plural For Penis Is? Part 1 of 2 (McKay/Sheppard, NC-17)
Title: And The Plural For Penis Is?
Author: ru_salki99
Recipient: icarusancalion
Beta: raging_pancake
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: John/Rodney
Disclaimer: SGA belongs to MGM
Warnings: Genderswitch, transgender issues
Summary: John falls victim to an Ancient population control device and becomes, well, female.
---
John shifted the weight of his P90 as he waited for Rodney to finish his analysis of the crystal panel that was apparently 'oh so interesting'. He'd been persuaded by Rodney - in exchange for Rodney going with John to assess the performance of Jumper four aka an excuse to go flying - to accompany him and a couple of his assistants down into some of the unused rooms at the base of the North Tower to collect some extra data on what they were used for. Apparently Rodney had a hunch but he didn't want to divulge it quite yet.
Which is why when John stepped onto a silver looking panel on the floor - he figured it was part of the floor design as a couple of scientists had already walked over it - and was suddenly engulfed in a brilliant orange light, he was more than a little surprised.
John tried to call out, to let Rodney know something was wrong but the light was too strong. He was sure however, that he could hear shouting in the distance but the loud buzz that accompanied the light drowned it out, becoming louder as the light became brighter. He screwed his eyes shut, unable to lift his hands up to cover them before he was overcome with the most intense pain he had ever experienced in his life, causing him to pass out seconds later.
~*~*~*~*~*~
John stared at the ceiling, hoping, praying that this was all a really bad dream. What had happened in that room... it couldn't have. The Ancients couldn't have been capable of that. It was impossible. However, the pain and discomfort coming from down below as Keller performed her examination of him proved otherwise... as there was no way, he would dream that this would happen, that Keller would be down there and that it would be this painful. Just... no.
"You okay there?" Keller asked him.
"Yup," he told her, tight lipped and almost a whisper, unwilling to talk any louder for fear of hearing his own voice.
"You're doing good. I'm almost done," she told him.
"Okay."
Another thirty seconds of poking and prodding and Keller was done, pulling the sheet back down over his legs and handing him some paper towels.
"Sorry, I know how uncomfortable that can be," she said. "Why don't you clean yourself up and I'll be back in a couple of seconds."
John just nodded and waited for her to leave the room before he tentatively reached under the thin sheet and cleaned away the mess that had been left there, trying his best not to think too much about the mechanics of it all. He dumped the paper towel onto the table next to him just as Keller came back in with a smile, that he guessed was supposed to be sympathetic but was really just patronising.
"So, everything looks fine," she told him. "Apart from the obvious, you're in perfect health."
"Good to know," he said sarcastically, letting his head fall back onto the pillow.
"Look," she said as she stepped closer to the bed and reached out with her hand, as if thinking about taking hold of his. She pulled back at the last minute, realising that it wasn't something that John would appreciate. "At least until we can figure this out and get you back to normal, you should be happy that you don't have anything else to worry about."
John sighed, "I am. It's just..." He trailed off, gesturing to his body.
"Yeah. I don't envy you," she told him, giving his shoulder a soft pat. "You up for having visitors? Woolsey and McKay want to make sure you're okay."
John nodded. He knew he had to get it over and done with sooner rather than later. Also, he owed Rodney a punch in the face as he had decided it was his fault that he'd ended up like this.
He turned his eyes back to the ceiling, still unable to look down as he listened to Keller head back out the room and talk to whomever was waiting outside.
Woolsey came in first, his face full of concern but for what exactly, John couldn't be sure.
"How are you feeling?" he asked John just as Rodney stepped into the room.
"You know... different," John answered.
"Of course," Woolsey nodded before looking at Rodney and then back to John, "Doctor Keller tells me that you are fit for duty whenever you feel up to it. However, I think we should wait for a full psychological evaluation before you resume your role completely."
John nodded, "Lorne's capable," he told him.
"Yes. And uh, I contacted the SGC to ask for Doctor Beckett to return and aid our scientists into finding a way... well, a way to reverse this. I believe they may send one of your superiors with him," Woolsey explained. "They feel... unsure about the safety of Atlantis while you are indisposed."
John sighed, having already guessed that something like that would happen. The most he could hope for was that the superior in question be Carter. Anyone else would only endanger Atlantis.
"Anything else?" John asked, his voice still quiet.
"Uh yes, but I think I will leave Doctor McKay to explain," Woolsey told him. "Get some rest and I shall talk with you again in the morning."
"Thanks."
Woolsey left, giving Rodney a small nod before closing the door behind him. John stared at Rodney, noticing how he couldn't even bear to raise his head to look at John. That couldn't be good.
"McKay?" John asked, knowing the use of his surname would snap Rodney out of it.
"Oh my God John. I'm so, so sorry," Rodney finally said as he stepped forward, his face ridden with angst. "I had no idea that something like that would happen."
At seeing the guilt, worry and total sincerity of Rodney's apology in his eyes, John's anger at the man deflated and he sighed, "It's okay Rodney."
"I swear John. I knew that the lab was something to do with fertility and population control, but it never even occurred to me that the lab was used for something like this."
John frowned at that, wondering exactly what 'population control' meant in Ancient terms. "Just tell me you know how to fix me."
Rodney paused at the side of the bed, "I uh... Carson's on his way," he said. "He's offworld with SG-1 at the moment, so it'll take a couple of days. But once he gets here, I've no doubt he'll be able to figure out exactly why this happened. Until then, Zelenka and his assistants are trawling the databases for any kind of explanation they can find."
"Explanation?"
"Yeah," Rodney nodded, "like why would it do this to you without some kind of proper activation," he explained. "It's definitely gene related though."
"Maybe it was activated before I stood on the panel?" John suggested, remembering seeing almost every single one of the team who'd been down there walk over the panel.
"Perhaps. It seems likely enough. But until we find more information, it'll just be a guessing game."
John nodded, "Okay. Well, probably best to seal the place off just now. I don't want anybody, especially anyone with the gene, natural or otherwise going in there."
"But Sheppard...."
"No Rodney. We can't risk this happening to more people."
Just as the words left his mouth, there was a commotion coming from the other side of the door. John looked at Rodney curiously for a moment. Taking the hint, Rodney popped his head out of the room, taking in what was going on. John heard him ask 'Hardy? Really?' before he came back in to speak to John.
"We have another one. Well, another two. One of the marines who was just brought in and Doctor Hardy who is being brought up as we speak."
"Get that room sealed off Rodney. Before there are any more and find out why the hell they were wandering around inside the room in the first place."
Rodney nodded, "Of course," he said, turning as if to make to leave but stopping just a step away from the door, "you want me to come round later? We can play chess or something?"
John sighed and let his head fall back against the pillow, "Sure. I could use the distraction."
And with that Rodney left John alone with his new and utterly terrifying female body.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Apparently, Doctor Hardy and Sergeant Morreti had both been down in the lab as part of a team to help collect everything that had just been left by Rodney and his team earlier. They'd both inadvertently stood on two separate floor panels simultaneously causing them to undergo a rather unwanted gender change.
No one, as of yet, was able to figure out why this had happened. While John was more than eager to have some sort of explanation and a plan to change him back, he knew that there wouldn't be much forthcoming until Carson got there; he was just glad he wasn't going through this on his own - even if that was a little selfish of him.
They had all been cleared by Keller as fit enough to return to duty, but John had decided that for the time being, both he and Morreti would be taking time off, and Rodney enforced the same upon Doctor Hardy.
Of course, with time off, it left John with very little to do. Thankfully, he didn't have to worry much about clothing as he was still rather slim. He just needed a new pair of boots and uh... well, some supportive items that Keller had supplied the three of them with - where she got them from, he didn't want to know - and so instead he sat in the bathroom, staring at himself in the mirror.
It was the most bizarre thing he'd ever seen - and he'd seen a lot. He more or less looked the same; narrow face, same colour eyes, same shaped ears. His jaw was just that little bit more feminine; rounder and free of stubble. His nose and lips were no longer as big and his hair, well that was still exactly the same; short and crazy.
He wasn't as tall as he was before either, having lost a few inches and while he was now shorter than Rodney, he was still taller than Teyla. Or at least he hoped so. As for the rest of his body, he was lean and athletic, just like he had been before. But the loss of hair in certain places, the smooth skin and rounding of his hips was almost too much to take in and then he'd look a bit further up and 'they'd' be there. His breasts.
Like the rest of him, they were petite. No where near as big as Teyla's but not too small either and a weird, very worrying part of him felt thankful for that. God forbid he be turned into a woman and end up flat-chested (like Hardy)... now that would be embarrassing. As he thought that, John couldn't help but think that maybe the change had made him a little bit crazy too as it really didn't matter if he had good boobs or not. It wasn't like it was a permanent change that he had to worry about. Well, hopefully.
Thankfully however, he was interrupted from his weird train of thought by the sound of the main door to his room opening. Rodney called out to him seconds later.
"I'm in here," John called back, hating the sound of his voice and just how girly it was.
"Oh, are you uh..." Rodney began but trailed off, and John could just imagine him freezing half way across the room, "I can come back later if you want."
John rolled his eyes and stepped out of the bathroom, not caring that he had no shirt on, just a bra. "It's fine Rodney," he said as he made his way over to the bed and picked up the t-shirt he'd left lying there.
"Jesus Sheppard! Warn a guy!" Rodney said as he threw up his hand to cover his eyes.
John turned to stare at him in confusion before realising what had gotten Rodney all of a fluster. "Were you checking me out?"
"What?!" Rodney gasped, dropping his hand, "Of course not. You just... boobs!"
"Way to state the obvious," John said as he pulled his t-shirt on.
"Sorry. It's just, it's been a while and you, um..." John watched as Rodney's face flushed and his eyes darted about the room as he looked at everything but John before finally settling on the box held under his left arm. "Chess?"
"Sure," John nodded, taking pity on the man. After all, it wouldn't have been the first time he'd been caught checking someone out. They were only human after all.
John let Rodney set up the chess board on the bed as he went and grabbed them a couple of beers.
"Should you be drinking?" Rodney asked him when he sat down opposite him.
"Keller says I'm fine," John shrugged.
"Yeah, but you're in a new body. You have no idea how alcohol will effect you."
"Worst case scenario, I get drunk. And if anyone deserves to be allowed to get drunk right now, it's me."
Rodney looked like he wanted to argue, but instead he just lowered his head and moved his first pawn. John had no idea why he didn't argue, he just hoped that Rodney wasn't making a conscious decision to treat him differently just because he was a wo... because he was different.
~*~*~*~*~*~
John wasn't in the gate room when Carson arrived. He was hiding in his quarters. He'd ventured out once to the mess hall with Ronon and Teyla only to be stared at even worse than the time he was turned into a bug.
The staring itself wasn't too bad, but it was the silence that followed and then the certain 'hungry' looks he got from some of his men that just freaked him out so much that he hadn't had the courage to go back, even though Ronon had promised to rip anyone's head off if they even blinked the wrong way. He just wasn't ready to face it again.
So when the door to his quarters opened and in walked Carson, followed by an amused looking O'Neill, John was only a little bit surprised.
"Sir?" John asked as he jumped to his feet and realising for the first time just how tall General Jack O'Neill was.
"Sheppard," O'Neill nodded. "You're looking as lovely as ever."
John couldn't help but roll his eyes at him, "What bring you to Atlantis Sir?" he asked, "I thought they would've sent Carter or Caldwell."
"I had some spare time on my hands," O'Neill explained as he sat himself down on John's desk chair, "plus, the SGC felt I might be able to handle this a bit more sensitively than Caldwell."
John nodded. "It's appreciated Sir," he said.
"Right, now that we've got that over, how about you join me in the infirmary so I can get a proper look at you," Carson said, interrupting them both.
John couldn't help but flinch at that, "Keller's already done that," he said quietly, hoping that Carson would take the hint.
"Oh, God. No, not that kind of look," Carson told him, face flushing, "I meant, just a general exam... just, just come along will you? I need a substantial amount of blood from you."
"Oh well, why didn't you just say so?"
John followed Carson and O'Neill down into the infirmary where Hardy and Morreti--who looked more like a man in a long wig than a woman - were already having blood taken from what John assumed were members of Carson's team.
"Sit," Carson told him gesturing to the bed at the far end of the room.
John immediately obliged and hopped up onto it, allowing Carson to take his vitals first before he went to get the blood vials.
"So how are you feeling anyway?" Carson asked him as he tightened the tourniquet around his arm.
"Uh well... sleeping on my stomach in no longer comfortable," John told him, "and the whole peeing sitting down thing takes a little getting used to."
"I meant emotionally," Carson explained, although his eyes were twinkling somewhat in humour.
"Fine," John admitted. "Well, still a little pissed that it was me it happened to and that you know, I'm now a woman. But I'm not in any immediate danger and I know you guys will fix this. So I'm okay."
The humour disappeared from Carson's eyes at John's last words, "You know, as flattering as it is to hear you have so much belief in me, you should know that there is a high probability that we won't be able to fix this."
"What can I say, I'm just a 'glass is half full' kinda girl," John said, smirking as he did so.
"Right. Well. I'm going to get started on these bloods. I'll let my associates finish for me," Carson explained before patting him on the knee, "we'll do all we can John."
"I know," John nodded. "And you know, thanks. For coming back for this."
"Like the SGC could've stopped me."
John watched Carson disappear into the lab on the other side of the infirmary before his attention turned back to O'Neill, who was standing watching everything with a curious eye.
"You ever seen anything like this before?" John asked him.
"Not quite, no," Jack admitted. "Still it could be worse."
"I suppose," John nodded, knowing this to be true.
"Okay, well I have to go talk with Woolsey," O'Neill said, "but when you're done here, come down to your office so I can speak with you and Major Lorne about the military side of things. Then I do believe we have a multi-departmental meeting to attend to address the situation."
John really didn't want to attend all those meetings, let alone have to make his way through the control tower to get to all the places he would need to in order to have said meetings, but an order was an order and Jack O'Neill was not someone who you defied.
"Yes sir. I'll be there," he nodded, hoping that Atlantis would at least make the journey through the halls as painless as possible.
O'Neill soon left and one of Carson's assistants came over to continue taking samples and checking his reflexes and other weird stuff that John had no idea what it actually was, but let them do their job anyway. And then, just as he was being dismissed and was about to make the walk he was dreading towards his own office, his saviour walked into the room.
"There you are. I've been looking all over for you. I should've known Carson would have you locked away in here," Rodney said as he came over to him.
"My knight in shining armour," John said with a smile, making Rodney do a double take.
"What?"
"Nothing," John said as he jumped down off the exam table, "I'm just finished. You want to walk with me down to my office."
"What are you going to your office for?" Rodney asked in confusion as they began to walk with each other.
"Meeting with O'Neill and Lorne before we have the big meeting later."
"Oh. Right. Well sure, I'll walk with you," Rodney said with a shrug, following him towards the transporter.
"So why were you looking for me?" John asked. "You find something?"
"Zelenka has. It's in Ancient so he's trying to translate it before the meeting. But it looks like we might be getting some answers."
"Finally," John said with a sigh as they stepped into the transporter. "Was that all? 'Cause you could've radioed that."
"What? Oh, no. I uh... I wanted to see how you were doing," Rodney explained. "Ronon told me about the mess hall and I, well I can't imagine that could've been very comfortable for you."
"Not remotely," John admitted. "But I'm okay. It's only temporary so I can deal with it."
Rodney nodded. "Good. I'd hate to have to chaperone you every time you needed to go somewhere."
John turned to glare at Rodney, but upon looking at him, saw that there was nothing malicious behind his words and that actually, Rodney really was worried about him. Reaching up, John gave him a firm squeeze of the shoulder. "I'm fine. Really. And I do appreciate it... the walking that is."
"Don't mention it," Rodney told him, his cheeks flushing again.
And really, Rodney had to get over this whole being in close quarters with a girl thing. Every time John was alone with him he'd start blushing in some way. It was soon becoming unfunny and more tiresome than anything else. He didn't like it that everyone was treating him differently, and while Rodney was treating him just as normal as everyone else, it was a constant reminder that he wasn't quite the same.
Stepping into his office, he found O'Neill behind his desk playing solitaire on John's computer.
"Sir?" John asked, trying not to smile.
"Sit yourself down Colonel, Major Lorne won't be long," he said, not looking away from the computer screen.
"Right," John nodded, sitting in one of the 'guest' chairs.
It felt really quite strange to be sitting on this side of his desk, however he didn't have much time to dwell on it as Lorne soon knocked on the doorframe. He gave John a quick once over, but having already spoken to him a number of times, didn't stare before looking over at O'Neill.
"Permission to enter Sir?" he asked O'Neill.
"What?" O'Neill asked looking up, "Oh yes, yes, come in. Sit down," he said before turning to John. "Don't you just love having underlings?" He asked. "Always so polite."
"That they are sir," John said with a nod, rolling his eyes when he saw Lorne blush.
"Okay," O'Neill said as he finally turned away from the computer completely, "let's get started shall we?"
It didn't take long to finish up with the 'official' business. O'Neill told them about how he would stay until he felt comfortable leaving John in charge again, that he wasn't going to be too emotionally unstable, which really was down to John. John could resume his duties at any point; O'Neill would just be there to oversee things for a while. Lorne was to carry on as usual, but was also to keep a close eye on Morreti being a very masculine marine one moment and - albeit an incredibly masculine -woman the next wouldn't be easy to adjust to.
Then it was just a case of ensuring that all parts of the military were made aware that they were to continue respecting John's authority. John didn't think there'd be many problems there... so long as his men stopped checking him out and instead actually followed orders.
After that was all out of the way, they talked about life on Atlantis in general, how they felt Woolsey was settling in as well as any new recruits, which basically ended up more of a gossiping session than anything. John had kept mostly quiet, leaving O'Neill and Lorne to it, having had no idea that both of them loved to gossip so much. He was half tempted to get Keller down to join them as she was the only other person on Atlantis who he knew enjoyed speculating about the rest of the expedition.
Eventually though, they wrapped things up as the three of them had to attend the senior staff meeting.
They were the last to arrive and John took his seat next to Rodney, noticing that both Hardy and Morreti were being included which obviously meant that they had some answers about what had done this to them.
"Everybody's now here, so I'll start, shall I?" Carson said as he leaned forward, everyone else around the table just nodding. "From the data Dr Zelenka and his team have been able to translate so far, it appears that the lab in which this happened was originally used for population control when, about twelve thousand years ago, men outnumbered woman eight to one."
John didn't react much to that, Rodney had already told him that they suspected that. But still, to have it confirmed, he wasn't sure whether he felt better about it or not.
"From the information gathered from the databases so far, it appears that male homosexual couples would 'volunteer' for the process. One of them would activate the disk before his partner would stand on it and be transformed."
"Wait, why couples?" Hardy asked.
"I assume that it has something to do with procreation," Carson told him, her... Dr Hardy.
"Yes, but why would one half of the couple have to activate the disc?"
"We'll not know more until we do some more investigating."
"It's probably got something to do with consent," Rodney said. "I doubted the couple actually volunteered, but if one of them activated the disk then they could probably say that they'd agreed to it or something."
"So who activated our disks then?" Morreti asked curiously.
"We'll need to check the security feed," Lorne told him. "But to be honest with you, until we know if this can be reversed, I'd be reluctant to tell you. I wouldn't want blame directed at someone who had no idea what they had done. And if someone finds out that they were responsible, the guilt could consume them."
"I'm will the Major on this one," Johnstone, their new psychiatrist added. "It could be even more devastating to everyone involved."
"Lorne, don't bother checking the security feed just yet," O'Neill told him.
Rodney sighed. "We'll need to go back in there. Find out exactly how it works and see if we can reverse this."
"Absolutely," Carson said, agreeing with him.
"I still stand by my decision that no one with the gene, natural or artificial be allowed in that room though," John added, finally taking part in the conversation.
"I agree," Woolsey said.
"Yeah, me too," O'Neill added. "Zelenka, you head up a team to gather the data needed."
Zelenka nodded, ignoring Rodney's spluttering protests.
"Okay, well until the engineering lads can tell us more, I suggest the three of you come see Dr Keller, Dr Johnstone and myself to discuss options," Carson said.
"Options?" John asked.
"Yes Colonel," he nodded. "We may be at the top of our field, but we are not miracle workers and we are certainly not ancients. It's more probably that we won't be able to fix this than we will. So we have to look at other options to returning you to your former self."
"You mean gender therapy?" Hardy asked.
"Yes."
John felt himself get a little light headed. Gender therapy? Hormones and operations to become male again, and even then, he would still be different. He'd be shorter for starters. And did he want to be on hormones for the rest of his life? A constant reminder that he wasn't normal? But if he didn't take that option, he'd remain as he was. Female.
Everyone else was still talking, but he couldn't bring himself to concentrate. Instead, he stood and walked out of the room. It wasn't until he found himself standing on a balcony that he realised that he'd even left the meeting. Great, he'd freaked out in front of everyone.
Sliding down the wall, he looked out at the water below him, taking deep breaths to calm himself.
He at least had options. That was the bright side. And he had every faith in Rodney that he'd find a way to fix this. He just... it was all too much and he just wanted to be by himself for a while.
Which of course, meant that Rodney found him almost straight away.
"You okay?" Rodney asked, standing above him.
John looked up at him for a second, not even bothering to answer that before going back to staring out at the sea.
"Of course you're not, what was I thinking," Rodney muttered to himself before he sat down beside him. "O'Neill covered for you," he added. "Or at least he told Carson to try to be a bit more sensitive in the future. If Carson got anymore sensitive he'd start handing out hugs as medication."
John snorted in amusement at that. A small silence followed for a moment before Rodney spoke again.
"You do know I'll do all I can to try and fix this right?" he asked, to which John just nodded. "Good. But, you should probably go speak with Carson and Keller about other options anyway."
"Not sure the other options are a route I want to take Rodney," John told him, his voice very quiet.
"You should go anyway. At least then, whatever decision you come to will be informed."
John nodded a little, knowing that what Rodney was saying made sense, but he didn't want to dwell on it and thankfully, Rodney was able to pick up on that.
"Come on," he said as he stood back up, "I'm hungry and the mess should be pretty quiet just now."
"Rodney, I don't know..."
"Colonel, get over yourself. Just because you're pretty does not mean that anyone is going to jump you," Rodney snapped, making John blush as he got to his feet. "And besides, I'm sure you could handle yourself well enough if anyone did try anything."
That said, Rodney about turned and walked back inside and John quickly followed, knowing that Rodney was likely to be rather unhappy if he didn't.
~*~*~*~*~*~
It had been decided that Carson and Keller would go over the 'other options' with the three of them together in one big meeting, then they would each individually go speak with Johnstone. John wasn't keen on the first part, let alone the second part, but he went anyway.
The group meeting... well it was enlightening to say the least.
John had no idea that there were so many different kinds of fake penises... peni... male genitalia, but for the majority of them, he'd still have to pee sitting down. And that just... that was probably one of the worst things about being a woman that he had experienced so far - even if Cadman had assured him that with a little bit of pulling and angling of the hips a woman could pee standing up just as well as a man could.
There was one option however that would give him a fully reconstructed penis that worked just as well as his own had. The only drawback being the extremely complicated surgery to create the urethra, the removal of the vagina, the prosthetic implant required to enable an erection not to mention the large scar to his body where tissue would be removed in order to create his penis. It took up to six months to heal from that and there was a chance that the penis wouldn't take.
Did he really want to go through all that pain for something that would merely be a crappy imitation? He had no idea.
So after the presentations and Q & A where Morreti did most of the talking (John assumed that Hardy already knew most of it and he couldn't think of anything he wanted to ask), John headed to his quarters, folder full of all kinds of leaflets and medical articles for him to peruse at his leisure.
He dumped it on his desk, deciding to read it later. He was pretty sure there was nothing in there that Keller and Carson hadn't already covered, but no doubt Johnstone would have something to say about him not reading through it all immediately. But he didn't care. He had a couple of hours to kill before his appointment and he planned to catch up on some emails and general admin stuff, that had no doubt built up in the few days he'd been lying in bed feeling sorry for himself.
Grabbing his laptop he sat down on his couch and opened up his inbox. He was just reading an email that Lorne had CC'd him into in reply to one of the new marines complaining about his living quarters when an IM message popped up. It was Rodney.
"How did it go at the meeting?"
"Fine," John replied.
"Just fine?"
"You ever heard of a phalloplasty?" John asked him, knowing fine well Rodney wouldn't have.
"No. Sounds painful."
"It looks painful too. I have some leaflets here if you want to read them."
"Have you read them?"
"Not yet. I'm still trying to decide if it'll be worth it or not," John told him.
There was no immediate answer, which meant Rodney was choosing his words carefully, which in return worried John.
"Perhaps you shouldn't try to rush to any kind of decision."
John stared at his screen in confusion, "What does that mean?"
"It means, maybe you should give your new body a chance."
"Give it a chance?"
"Give it a month or two. See how you feel about it then. And who knows, we might have figured out how to fix it by then without any painful operations."
John bit his lip as he considered it. It didn't sound totally ridiculous. It was a big decision to make and he was pretty sure Johnstone would insist they waited at least a month anyway before any treatment started.
"Yeah, maybe I will," John typed. "How goes all that anyway?"
"Radek's still gathering data, so I'm just going over the results of some of the other stuff we were working on before all this happened," Rodney told him.
"Ah. Okay."
"I could do with a distraction if you want to come down and entertain me?"
"And how do you propose I do that?"
"You're smart, I'm sure you can come up with something."
And with that, Rodney signed off, leaving John smiling to himself. He finished reading Lorne's email and checked a few more before he put the laptop away and decided to just go down to the labs and hang over Rodney's shoulder for a while - that was always the quickest and most fun way to distract him - Rodney hated it when he hung over his shoulder "heavy breathing" into his ear.
Remembering Rodney's words from the day before about how he could handle himself if anyone tried anything, John actually relaxed a little as he made his way towards the transporter that would take him to Rodney's lab. He met Teyla on his way who told him he was looking a lot better before inviting him over for tea later once Torren had gone down for the night before she went to go meet Ronon for a sparring session.
John watched her go and was unable to stop himself from feeling admiration for her. The father of her child was gone, killed by Michael, yet here she was, continuing to live her life. Torren was only three months old but she was already back to her previous fitness, not willing to let being a mother prevent her from also being a warrior.
If there was one woman who made it all look easy, it was Teyla and John was suddenly looking forward to having tea with her later.
"You took your time," was Rodney's idea of a greeting when John finally walked into the lab.
There were a couple of other scientists dotted about but none of them paying him any attention, for which he was grateful. McKay had probably warned them off and that made John thankful (for about the tenth time in two days) that he had him as a friend.
He made his way over and very deliberately got all up in Rodney's space and leaned over his shoulder to look at whatever was so uninteresting that Rodney had requested his presence. He was stood there for a few minutes, waiting for Rodney to react - usually it only took a minute tops - when Rodney's neck started going red, his eyes darting too look at John out of the corner of his eye.
"Um, Colonel?" Rodney said rather quietly.
"Yes Rodney?" John asked in his most innocent voice.
"Could you um, could you maybe back up a little?" Rodney asked, not lifting his head to actually look at John.
"Why?" John asked, curiously awaiting Rodney's answer.
"You're um, parts of you are sort of pressed..." he trailed off instead gesturing with his hand to where John's breasts were pushed up against Rodney's shoulder.
Now it was John's turn to blush. He hadn't even thought that that might be able to happen and now that it had? Talk about embarrassing. He quickly apologised and stepped back while Rodney straightened up.
"So what you working on?" John asked, trying to change the subject as fast as possible.
"Oh it's just the results of the latest attempts to replicate the ZPM energy output," Rodney said with a wave of his hand.
"And?"
"Abysmal," Rodney told him with a sigh. "At this rate, I doubt we'll even get anywhere near the ZPM energy levels without going nuclear."
"Sorry to hear that," John said. Attempting to replicate the ZPM had been an ongoing project since they first came to Pegasus, and they'd never had any kind of success.
"It's fine. We'll just keep trying," Rodney told him before he turned to face him, "lunch?"
"Sure," John nodded, glad to see that the awkwardness of a few moments ago had passed.
He followed Rodney out of the lab, doing his best to ignore the small bit of moisture he could feel in his underwear. He had an idea of what it was and why it had happened, but he really didn't want to think about that right now. He had enough to deal with as it was.
---
( And The Plural For Penis Is? Part 2 of 2 )
Author: ru_salki99
Recipient: icarusancalion
Beta: raging_pancake
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: John/Rodney
Disclaimer: SGA belongs to MGM
Warnings: Genderswitch, transgender issues
Summary: John falls victim to an Ancient population control device and becomes, well, female.
---
John shifted the weight of his P90 as he waited for Rodney to finish his analysis of the crystal panel that was apparently 'oh so interesting'. He'd been persuaded by Rodney - in exchange for Rodney going with John to assess the performance of Jumper four aka an excuse to go flying - to accompany him and a couple of his assistants down into some of the unused rooms at the base of the North Tower to collect some extra data on what they were used for. Apparently Rodney had a hunch but he didn't want to divulge it quite yet.
Which is why when John stepped onto a silver looking panel on the floor - he figured it was part of the floor design as a couple of scientists had already walked over it - and was suddenly engulfed in a brilliant orange light, he was more than a little surprised.
John tried to call out, to let Rodney know something was wrong but the light was too strong. He was sure however, that he could hear shouting in the distance but the loud buzz that accompanied the light drowned it out, becoming louder as the light became brighter. He screwed his eyes shut, unable to lift his hands up to cover them before he was overcome with the most intense pain he had ever experienced in his life, causing him to pass out seconds later.
~*~*~*~*~*~
John stared at the ceiling, hoping, praying that this was all a really bad dream. What had happened in that room... it couldn't have. The Ancients couldn't have been capable of that. It was impossible. However, the pain and discomfort coming from down below as Keller performed her examination of him proved otherwise... as there was no way, he would dream that this would happen, that Keller would be down there and that it would be this painful. Just... no.
"You okay there?" Keller asked him.
"Yup," he told her, tight lipped and almost a whisper, unwilling to talk any louder for fear of hearing his own voice.
"You're doing good. I'm almost done," she told him.
"Okay."
Another thirty seconds of poking and prodding and Keller was done, pulling the sheet back down over his legs and handing him some paper towels.
"Sorry, I know how uncomfortable that can be," she said. "Why don't you clean yourself up and I'll be back in a couple of seconds."
John just nodded and waited for her to leave the room before he tentatively reached under the thin sheet and cleaned away the mess that had been left there, trying his best not to think too much about the mechanics of it all. He dumped the paper towel onto the table next to him just as Keller came back in with a smile, that he guessed was supposed to be sympathetic but was really just patronising.
"So, everything looks fine," she told him. "Apart from the obvious, you're in perfect health."
"Good to know," he said sarcastically, letting his head fall back onto the pillow.
"Look," she said as she stepped closer to the bed and reached out with her hand, as if thinking about taking hold of his. She pulled back at the last minute, realising that it wasn't something that John would appreciate. "At least until we can figure this out and get you back to normal, you should be happy that you don't have anything else to worry about."
John sighed, "I am. It's just..." He trailed off, gesturing to his body.
"Yeah. I don't envy you," she told him, giving his shoulder a soft pat. "You up for having visitors? Woolsey and McKay want to make sure you're okay."
John nodded. He knew he had to get it over and done with sooner rather than later. Also, he owed Rodney a punch in the face as he had decided it was his fault that he'd ended up like this.
He turned his eyes back to the ceiling, still unable to look down as he listened to Keller head back out the room and talk to whomever was waiting outside.
Woolsey came in first, his face full of concern but for what exactly, John couldn't be sure.
"How are you feeling?" he asked John just as Rodney stepped into the room.
"You know... different," John answered.
"Of course," Woolsey nodded before looking at Rodney and then back to John, "Doctor Keller tells me that you are fit for duty whenever you feel up to it. However, I think we should wait for a full psychological evaluation before you resume your role completely."
John nodded, "Lorne's capable," he told him.
"Yes. And uh, I contacted the SGC to ask for Doctor Beckett to return and aid our scientists into finding a way... well, a way to reverse this. I believe they may send one of your superiors with him," Woolsey explained. "They feel... unsure about the safety of Atlantis while you are indisposed."
John sighed, having already guessed that something like that would happen. The most he could hope for was that the superior in question be Carter. Anyone else would only endanger Atlantis.
"Anything else?" John asked, his voice still quiet.
"Uh yes, but I think I will leave Doctor McKay to explain," Woolsey told him. "Get some rest and I shall talk with you again in the morning."
"Thanks."
Woolsey left, giving Rodney a small nod before closing the door behind him. John stared at Rodney, noticing how he couldn't even bear to raise his head to look at John. That couldn't be good.
"McKay?" John asked, knowing the use of his surname would snap Rodney out of it.
"Oh my God John. I'm so, so sorry," Rodney finally said as he stepped forward, his face ridden with angst. "I had no idea that something like that would happen."
At seeing the guilt, worry and total sincerity of Rodney's apology in his eyes, John's anger at the man deflated and he sighed, "It's okay Rodney."
"I swear John. I knew that the lab was something to do with fertility and population control, but it never even occurred to me that the lab was used for something like this."
John frowned at that, wondering exactly what 'population control' meant in Ancient terms. "Just tell me you know how to fix me."
Rodney paused at the side of the bed, "I uh... Carson's on his way," he said. "He's offworld with SG-1 at the moment, so it'll take a couple of days. But once he gets here, I've no doubt he'll be able to figure out exactly why this happened. Until then, Zelenka and his assistants are trawling the databases for any kind of explanation they can find."
"Explanation?"
"Yeah," Rodney nodded, "like why would it do this to you without some kind of proper activation," he explained. "It's definitely gene related though."
"Maybe it was activated before I stood on the panel?" John suggested, remembering seeing almost every single one of the team who'd been down there walk over the panel.
"Perhaps. It seems likely enough. But until we find more information, it'll just be a guessing game."
John nodded, "Okay. Well, probably best to seal the place off just now. I don't want anybody, especially anyone with the gene, natural or otherwise going in there."
"But Sheppard...."
"No Rodney. We can't risk this happening to more people."
Just as the words left his mouth, there was a commotion coming from the other side of the door. John looked at Rodney curiously for a moment. Taking the hint, Rodney popped his head out of the room, taking in what was going on. John heard him ask 'Hardy? Really?' before he came back in to speak to John.
"We have another one. Well, another two. One of the marines who was just brought in and Doctor Hardy who is being brought up as we speak."
"Get that room sealed off Rodney. Before there are any more and find out why the hell they were wandering around inside the room in the first place."
Rodney nodded, "Of course," he said, turning as if to make to leave but stopping just a step away from the door, "you want me to come round later? We can play chess or something?"
John sighed and let his head fall back against the pillow, "Sure. I could use the distraction."
And with that Rodney left John alone with his new and utterly terrifying female body.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Apparently, Doctor Hardy and Sergeant Morreti had both been down in the lab as part of a team to help collect everything that had just been left by Rodney and his team earlier. They'd both inadvertently stood on two separate floor panels simultaneously causing them to undergo a rather unwanted gender change.
No one, as of yet, was able to figure out why this had happened. While John was more than eager to have some sort of explanation and a plan to change him back, he knew that there wouldn't be much forthcoming until Carson got there; he was just glad he wasn't going through this on his own - even if that was a little selfish of him.
They had all been cleared by Keller as fit enough to return to duty, but John had decided that for the time being, both he and Morreti would be taking time off, and Rodney enforced the same upon Doctor Hardy.
Of course, with time off, it left John with very little to do. Thankfully, he didn't have to worry much about clothing as he was still rather slim. He just needed a new pair of boots and uh... well, some supportive items that Keller had supplied the three of them with - where she got them from, he didn't want to know - and so instead he sat in the bathroom, staring at himself in the mirror.
It was the most bizarre thing he'd ever seen - and he'd seen a lot. He more or less looked the same; narrow face, same colour eyes, same shaped ears. His jaw was just that little bit more feminine; rounder and free of stubble. His nose and lips were no longer as big and his hair, well that was still exactly the same; short and crazy.
He wasn't as tall as he was before either, having lost a few inches and while he was now shorter than Rodney, he was still taller than Teyla. Or at least he hoped so. As for the rest of his body, he was lean and athletic, just like he had been before. But the loss of hair in certain places, the smooth skin and rounding of his hips was almost too much to take in and then he'd look a bit further up and 'they'd' be there. His breasts.
Like the rest of him, they were petite. No where near as big as Teyla's but not too small either and a weird, very worrying part of him felt thankful for that. God forbid he be turned into a woman and end up flat-chested (like Hardy)... now that would be embarrassing. As he thought that, John couldn't help but think that maybe the change had made him a little bit crazy too as it really didn't matter if he had good boobs or not. It wasn't like it was a permanent change that he had to worry about. Well, hopefully.
Thankfully however, he was interrupted from his weird train of thought by the sound of the main door to his room opening. Rodney called out to him seconds later.
"I'm in here," John called back, hating the sound of his voice and just how girly it was.
"Oh, are you uh..." Rodney began but trailed off, and John could just imagine him freezing half way across the room, "I can come back later if you want."
John rolled his eyes and stepped out of the bathroom, not caring that he had no shirt on, just a bra. "It's fine Rodney," he said as he made his way over to the bed and picked up the t-shirt he'd left lying there.
"Jesus Sheppard! Warn a guy!" Rodney said as he threw up his hand to cover his eyes.
John turned to stare at him in confusion before realising what had gotten Rodney all of a fluster. "Were you checking me out?"
"What?!" Rodney gasped, dropping his hand, "Of course not. You just... boobs!"
"Way to state the obvious," John said as he pulled his t-shirt on.
"Sorry. It's just, it's been a while and you, um..." John watched as Rodney's face flushed and his eyes darted about the room as he looked at everything but John before finally settling on the box held under his left arm. "Chess?"
"Sure," John nodded, taking pity on the man. After all, it wouldn't have been the first time he'd been caught checking someone out. They were only human after all.
John let Rodney set up the chess board on the bed as he went and grabbed them a couple of beers.
"Should you be drinking?" Rodney asked him when he sat down opposite him.
"Keller says I'm fine," John shrugged.
"Yeah, but you're in a new body. You have no idea how alcohol will effect you."
"Worst case scenario, I get drunk. And if anyone deserves to be allowed to get drunk right now, it's me."
Rodney looked like he wanted to argue, but instead he just lowered his head and moved his first pawn. John had no idea why he didn't argue, he just hoped that Rodney wasn't making a conscious decision to treat him differently just because he was a wo... because he was different.
~*~*~*~*~*~
John wasn't in the gate room when Carson arrived. He was hiding in his quarters. He'd ventured out once to the mess hall with Ronon and Teyla only to be stared at even worse than the time he was turned into a bug.
The staring itself wasn't too bad, but it was the silence that followed and then the certain 'hungry' looks he got from some of his men that just freaked him out so much that he hadn't had the courage to go back, even though Ronon had promised to rip anyone's head off if they even blinked the wrong way. He just wasn't ready to face it again.
So when the door to his quarters opened and in walked Carson, followed by an amused looking O'Neill, John was only a little bit surprised.
"Sir?" John asked as he jumped to his feet and realising for the first time just how tall General Jack O'Neill was.
"Sheppard," O'Neill nodded. "You're looking as lovely as ever."
John couldn't help but roll his eyes at him, "What bring you to Atlantis Sir?" he asked, "I thought they would've sent Carter or Caldwell."
"I had some spare time on my hands," O'Neill explained as he sat himself down on John's desk chair, "plus, the SGC felt I might be able to handle this a bit more sensitively than Caldwell."
John nodded. "It's appreciated Sir," he said.
"Right, now that we've got that over, how about you join me in the infirmary so I can get a proper look at you," Carson said, interrupting them both.
John couldn't help but flinch at that, "Keller's already done that," he said quietly, hoping that Carson would take the hint.
"Oh, God. No, not that kind of look," Carson told him, face flushing, "I meant, just a general exam... just, just come along will you? I need a substantial amount of blood from you."
"Oh well, why didn't you just say so?"
John followed Carson and O'Neill down into the infirmary where Hardy and Morreti--who looked more like a man in a long wig than a woman - were already having blood taken from what John assumed were members of Carson's team.
"Sit," Carson told him gesturing to the bed at the far end of the room.
John immediately obliged and hopped up onto it, allowing Carson to take his vitals first before he went to get the blood vials.
"So how are you feeling anyway?" Carson asked him as he tightened the tourniquet around his arm.
"Uh well... sleeping on my stomach in no longer comfortable," John told him, "and the whole peeing sitting down thing takes a little getting used to."
"I meant emotionally," Carson explained, although his eyes were twinkling somewhat in humour.
"Fine," John admitted. "Well, still a little pissed that it was me it happened to and that you know, I'm now a woman. But I'm not in any immediate danger and I know you guys will fix this. So I'm okay."
The humour disappeared from Carson's eyes at John's last words, "You know, as flattering as it is to hear you have so much belief in me, you should know that there is a high probability that we won't be able to fix this."
"What can I say, I'm just a 'glass is half full' kinda girl," John said, smirking as he did so.
"Right. Well. I'm going to get started on these bloods. I'll let my associates finish for me," Carson explained before patting him on the knee, "we'll do all we can John."
"I know," John nodded. "And you know, thanks. For coming back for this."
"Like the SGC could've stopped me."
John watched Carson disappear into the lab on the other side of the infirmary before his attention turned back to O'Neill, who was standing watching everything with a curious eye.
"You ever seen anything like this before?" John asked him.
"Not quite, no," Jack admitted. "Still it could be worse."
"I suppose," John nodded, knowing this to be true.
"Okay, well I have to go talk with Woolsey," O'Neill said, "but when you're done here, come down to your office so I can speak with you and Major Lorne about the military side of things. Then I do believe we have a multi-departmental meeting to attend to address the situation."
John really didn't want to attend all those meetings, let alone have to make his way through the control tower to get to all the places he would need to in order to have said meetings, but an order was an order and Jack O'Neill was not someone who you defied.
"Yes sir. I'll be there," he nodded, hoping that Atlantis would at least make the journey through the halls as painless as possible.
O'Neill soon left and one of Carson's assistants came over to continue taking samples and checking his reflexes and other weird stuff that John had no idea what it actually was, but let them do their job anyway. And then, just as he was being dismissed and was about to make the walk he was dreading towards his own office, his saviour walked into the room.
"There you are. I've been looking all over for you. I should've known Carson would have you locked away in here," Rodney said as he came over to him.
"My knight in shining armour," John said with a smile, making Rodney do a double take.
"What?"
"Nothing," John said as he jumped down off the exam table, "I'm just finished. You want to walk with me down to my office."
"What are you going to your office for?" Rodney asked in confusion as they began to walk with each other.
"Meeting with O'Neill and Lorne before we have the big meeting later."
"Oh. Right. Well sure, I'll walk with you," Rodney said with a shrug, following him towards the transporter.
"So why were you looking for me?" John asked. "You find something?"
"Zelenka has. It's in Ancient so he's trying to translate it before the meeting. But it looks like we might be getting some answers."
"Finally," John said with a sigh as they stepped into the transporter. "Was that all? 'Cause you could've radioed that."
"What? Oh, no. I uh... I wanted to see how you were doing," Rodney explained. "Ronon told me about the mess hall and I, well I can't imagine that could've been very comfortable for you."
"Not remotely," John admitted. "But I'm okay. It's only temporary so I can deal with it."
Rodney nodded. "Good. I'd hate to have to chaperone you every time you needed to go somewhere."
John turned to glare at Rodney, but upon looking at him, saw that there was nothing malicious behind his words and that actually, Rodney really was worried about him. Reaching up, John gave him a firm squeeze of the shoulder. "I'm fine. Really. And I do appreciate it... the walking that is."
"Don't mention it," Rodney told him, his cheeks flushing again.
And really, Rodney had to get over this whole being in close quarters with a girl thing. Every time John was alone with him he'd start blushing in some way. It was soon becoming unfunny and more tiresome than anything else. He didn't like it that everyone was treating him differently, and while Rodney was treating him just as normal as everyone else, it was a constant reminder that he wasn't quite the same.
Stepping into his office, he found O'Neill behind his desk playing solitaire on John's computer.
"Sir?" John asked, trying not to smile.
"Sit yourself down Colonel, Major Lorne won't be long," he said, not looking away from the computer screen.
"Right," John nodded, sitting in one of the 'guest' chairs.
It felt really quite strange to be sitting on this side of his desk, however he didn't have much time to dwell on it as Lorne soon knocked on the doorframe. He gave John a quick once over, but having already spoken to him a number of times, didn't stare before looking over at O'Neill.
"Permission to enter Sir?" he asked O'Neill.
"What?" O'Neill asked looking up, "Oh yes, yes, come in. Sit down," he said before turning to John. "Don't you just love having underlings?" He asked. "Always so polite."
"That they are sir," John said with a nod, rolling his eyes when he saw Lorne blush.
"Okay," O'Neill said as he finally turned away from the computer completely, "let's get started shall we?"
It didn't take long to finish up with the 'official' business. O'Neill told them about how he would stay until he felt comfortable leaving John in charge again, that he wasn't going to be too emotionally unstable, which really was down to John. John could resume his duties at any point; O'Neill would just be there to oversee things for a while. Lorne was to carry on as usual, but was also to keep a close eye on Morreti being a very masculine marine one moment and - albeit an incredibly masculine -woman the next wouldn't be easy to adjust to.
Then it was just a case of ensuring that all parts of the military were made aware that they were to continue respecting John's authority. John didn't think there'd be many problems there... so long as his men stopped checking him out and instead actually followed orders.
After that was all out of the way, they talked about life on Atlantis in general, how they felt Woolsey was settling in as well as any new recruits, which basically ended up more of a gossiping session than anything. John had kept mostly quiet, leaving O'Neill and Lorne to it, having had no idea that both of them loved to gossip so much. He was half tempted to get Keller down to join them as she was the only other person on Atlantis who he knew enjoyed speculating about the rest of the expedition.
Eventually though, they wrapped things up as the three of them had to attend the senior staff meeting.
They were the last to arrive and John took his seat next to Rodney, noticing that both Hardy and Morreti were being included which obviously meant that they had some answers about what had done this to them.
"Everybody's now here, so I'll start, shall I?" Carson said as he leaned forward, everyone else around the table just nodding. "From the data Dr Zelenka and his team have been able to translate so far, it appears that the lab in which this happened was originally used for population control when, about twelve thousand years ago, men outnumbered woman eight to one."
John didn't react much to that, Rodney had already told him that they suspected that. But still, to have it confirmed, he wasn't sure whether he felt better about it or not.
"From the information gathered from the databases so far, it appears that male homosexual couples would 'volunteer' for the process. One of them would activate the disk before his partner would stand on it and be transformed."
"Wait, why couples?" Hardy asked.
"I assume that it has something to do with procreation," Carson told him, her... Dr Hardy.
"Yes, but why would one half of the couple have to activate the disc?"
"We'll not know more until we do some more investigating."
"It's probably got something to do with consent," Rodney said. "I doubted the couple actually volunteered, but if one of them activated the disk then they could probably say that they'd agreed to it or something."
"So who activated our disks then?" Morreti asked curiously.
"We'll need to check the security feed," Lorne told him. "But to be honest with you, until we know if this can be reversed, I'd be reluctant to tell you. I wouldn't want blame directed at someone who had no idea what they had done. And if someone finds out that they were responsible, the guilt could consume them."
"I'm will the Major on this one," Johnstone, their new psychiatrist added. "It could be even more devastating to everyone involved."
"Lorne, don't bother checking the security feed just yet," O'Neill told him.
Rodney sighed. "We'll need to go back in there. Find out exactly how it works and see if we can reverse this."
"Absolutely," Carson said, agreeing with him.
"I still stand by my decision that no one with the gene, natural or artificial be allowed in that room though," John added, finally taking part in the conversation.
"I agree," Woolsey said.
"Yeah, me too," O'Neill added. "Zelenka, you head up a team to gather the data needed."
Zelenka nodded, ignoring Rodney's spluttering protests.
"Okay, well until the engineering lads can tell us more, I suggest the three of you come see Dr Keller, Dr Johnstone and myself to discuss options," Carson said.
"Options?" John asked.
"Yes Colonel," he nodded. "We may be at the top of our field, but we are not miracle workers and we are certainly not ancients. It's more probably that we won't be able to fix this than we will. So we have to look at other options to returning you to your former self."
"You mean gender therapy?" Hardy asked.
"Yes."
John felt himself get a little light headed. Gender therapy? Hormones and operations to become male again, and even then, he would still be different. He'd be shorter for starters. And did he want to be on hormones for the rest of his life? A constant reminder that he wasn't normal? But if he didn't take that option, he'd remain as he was. Female.
Everyone else was still talking, but he couldn't bring himself to concentrate. Instead, he stood and walked out of the room. It wasn't until he found himself standing on a balcony that he realised that he'd even left the meeting. Great, he'd freaked out in front of everyone.
Sliding down the wall, he looked out at the water below him, taking deep breaths to calm himself.
He at least had options. That was the bright side. And he had every faith in Rodney that he'd find a way to fix this. He just... it was all too much and he just wanted to be by himself for a while.
Which of course, meant that Rodney found him almost straight away.
"You okay?" Rodney asked, standing above him.
John looked up at him for a second, not even bothering to answer that before going back to staring out at the sea.
"Of course you're not, what was I thinking," Rodney muttered to himself before he sat down beside him. "O'Neill covered for you," he added. "Or at least he told Carson to try to be a bit more sensitive in the future. If Carson got anymore sensitive he'd start handing out hugs as medication."
John snorted in amusement at that. A small silence followed for a moment before Rodney spoke again.
"You do know I'll do all I can to try and fix this right?" he asked, to which John just nodded. "Good. But, you should probably go speak with Carson and Keller about other options anyway."
"Not sure the other options are a route I want to take Rodney," John told him, his voice very quiet.
"You should go anyway. At least then, whatever decision you come to will be informed."
John nodded a little, knowing that what Rodney was saying made sense, but he didn't want to dwell on it and thankfully, Rodney was able to pick up on that.
"Come on," he said as he stood back up, "I'm hungry and the mess should be pretty quiet just now."
"Rodney, I don't know..."
"Colonel, get over yourself. Just because you're pretty does not mean that anyone is going to jump you," Rodney snapped, making John blush as he got to his feet. "And besides, I'm sure you could handle yourself well enough if anyone did try anything."
That said, Rodney about turned and walked back inside and John quickly followed, knowing that Rodney was likely to be rather unhappy if he didn't.
~*~*~*~*~*~
It had been decided that Carson and Keller would go over the 'other options' with the three of them together in one big meeting, then they would each individually go speak with Johnstone. John wasn't keen on the first part, let alone the second part, but he went anyway.
The group meeting... well it was enlightening to say the least.
John had no idea that there were so many different kinds of fake penises... peni... male genitalia, but for the majority of them, he'd still have to pee sitting down. And that just... that was probably one of the worst things about being a woman that he had experienced so far - even if Cadman had assured him that with a little bit of pulling and angling of the hips a woman could pee standing up just as well as a man could.
There was one option however that would give him a fully reconstructed penis that worked just as well as his own had. The only drawback being the extremely complicated surgery to create the urethra, the removal of the vagina, the prosthetic implant required to enable an erection not to mention the large scar to his body where tissue would be removed in order to create his penis. It took up to six months to heal from that and there was a chance that the penis wouldn't take.
Did he really want to go through all that pain for something that would merely be a crappy imitation? He had no idea.
So after the presentations and Q & A where Morreti did most of the talking (John assumed that Hardy already knew most of it and he couldn't think of anything he wanted to ask), John headed to his quarters, folder full of all kinds of leaflets and medical articles for him to peruse at his leisure.
He dumped it on his desk, deciding to read it later. He was pretty sure there was nothing in there that Keller and Carson hadn't already covered, but no doubt Johnstone would have something to say about him not reading through it all immediately. But he didn't care. He had a couple of hours to kill before his appointment and he planned to catch up on some emails and general admin stuff, that had no doubt built up in the few days he'd been lying in bed feeling sorry for himself.
Grabbing his laptop he sat down on his couch and opened up his inbox. He was just reading an email that Lorne had CC'd him into in reply to one of the new marines complaining about his living quarters when an IM message popped up. It was Rodney.
"How did it go at the meeting?"
"Fine," John replied.
"Just fine?"
"You ever heard of a phalloplasty?" John asked him, knowing fine well Rodney wouldn't have.
"No. Sounds painful."
"It looks painful too. I have some leaflets here if you want to read them."
"Have you read them?"
"Not yet. I'm still trying to decide if it'll be worth it or not," John told him.
There was no immediate answer, which meant Rodney was choosing his words carefully, which in return worried John.
"Perhaps you shouldn't try to rush to any kind of decision."
John stared at his screen in confusion, "What does that mean?"
"It means, maybe you should give your new body a chance."
"Give it a chance?"
"Give it a month or two. See how you feel about it then. And who knows, we might have figured out how to fix it by then without any painful operations."
John bit his lip as he considered it. It didn't sound totally ridiculous. It was a big decision to make and he was pretty sure Johnstone would insist they waited at least a month anyway before any treatment started.
"Yeah, maybe I will," John typed. "How goes all that anyway?"
"Radek's still gathering data, so I'm just going over the results of some of the other stuff we were working on before all this happened," Rodney told him.
"Ah. Okay."
"I could do with a distraction if you want to come down and entertain me?"
"And how do you propose I do that?"
"You're smart, I'm sure you can come up with something."
And with that, Rodney signed off, leaving John smiling to himself. He finished reading Lorne's email and checked a few more before he put the laptop away and decided to just go down to the labs and hang over Rodney's shoulder for a while - that was always the quickest and most fun way to distract him - Rodney hated it when he hung over his shoulder "heavy breathing" into his ear.
Remembering Rodney's words from the day before about how he could handle himself if anyone tried anything, John actually relaxed a little as he made his way towards the transporter that would take him to Rodney's lab. He met Teyla on his way who told him he was looking a lot better before inviting him over for tea later once Torren had gone down for the night before she went to go meet Ronon for a sparring session.
John watched her go and was unable to stop himself from feeling admiration for her. The father of her child was gone, killed by Michael, yet here she was, continuing to live her life. Torren was only three months old but she was already back to her previous fitness, not willing to let being a mother prevent her from also being a warrior.
If there was one woman who made it all look easy, it was Teyla and John was suddenly looking forward to having tea with her later.
"You took your time," was Rodney's idea of a greeting when John finally walked into the lab.
There were a couple of other scientists dotted about but none of them paying him any attention, for which he was grateful. McKay had probably warned them off and that made John thankful (for about the tenth time in two days) that he had him as a friend.
He made his way over and very deliberately got all up in Rodney's space and leaned over his shoulder to look at whatever was so uninteresting that Rodney had requested his presence. He was stood there for a few minutes, waiting for Rodney to react - usually it only took a minute tops - when Rodney's neck started going red, his eyes darting too look at John out of the corner of his eye.
"Um, Colonel?" Rodney said rather quietly.
"Yes Rodney?" John asked in his most innocent voice.
"Could you um, could you maybe back up a little?" Rodney asked, not lifting his head to actually look at John.
"Why?" John asked, curiously awaiting Rodney's answer.
"You're um, parts of you are sort of pressed..." he trailed off instead gesturing with his hand to where John's breasts were pushed up against Rodney's shoulder.
Now it was John's turn to blush. He hadn't even thought that that might be able to happen and now that it had? Talk about embarrassing. He quickly apologised and stepped back while Rodney straightened up.
"So what you working on?" John asked, trying to change the subject as fast as possible.
"Oh it's just the results of the latest attempts to replicate the ZPM energy output," Rodney said with a wave of his hand.
"And?"
"Abysmal," Rodney told him with a sigh. "At this rate, I doubt we'll even get anywhere near the ZPM energy levels without going nuclear."
"Sorry to hear that," John said. Attempting to replicate the ZPM had been an ongoing project since they first came to Pegasus, and they'd never had any kind of success.
"It's fine. We'll just keep trying," Rodney told him before he turned to face him, "lunch?"
"Sure," John nodded, glad to see that the awkwardness of a few moments ago had passed.
He followed Rodney out of the lab, doing his best to ignore the small bit of moisture he could feel in his underwear. He had an idea of what it was and why it had happened, but he really didn't want to think about that right now. He had enough to deal with as it was.
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( And The Plural For Penis Is? Part 2 of 2 )