Fic: Home From the Sea (Emmagan/Kanaan/Sheppard, PG-13)
Title: Home From the Sea
Author: rabidfan
Recipient: busaikko
Pairing: Teyla/Kanaan/Sheppard
Rating: Barely PG-13…because of subject matter not because of any fun stuff!
Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate or any of its characters. This is a work of fiction for the entertainment of the recipient. No harm or profit was intended or made.
Summary: Every sailor needs a safe harbor to come home to.
Home From the Sea
Teyla marched up to John while he waited in line for the last of the chocolate cake (at least until the next Daedalus run); she knew that he'd have to be forcibly torn away from the prospect of the sweet confection and by confronting him here she was fairly assured he wouldn't bolt.
"John." She stopped his (and by that everyone else's as well) forward progress through the line. "I would speak with you about a matter of great significance."
"Teyla." Sheppard squinted his eyes while rocking his head back slightly. One of the things Teyla had learned about John that spoke volumes about his state of mind. A 'tell', the Earthers called them. This particular one said he was nervous. Very nervous.
Sheppard looked around the mess, taking in the impatient people waiting for their cake. Any moment he'd run his hand over the back of his neck like a scolded child. There, like that.
John rubbed his neck and waited with as much patience as the restless line would allow. "Do you think it could wait until I'm not in the food line?"
"No." Teyla sent a dangerous look over John's shoulder to the marine pressing into his back. Wisely the Sergeant decided that cake wasn't what he wanted after all.
"Kanaan will be approaching you shortly with a request." Sheppard was beginning to show signs of panic. She should have just left this in Kanaan's capable hands.
"I would only ask that you remember that our customs often differ sharply from those of your home world." No, that hadn't helped. If anything John looked more frightened than before.
"What he asks of you is a great, great honor. Seldom held out to those outside of the family circle. I would not be happy if you found his request…distasteful." The way John's eyes widened at that would have been humorous at any other time. She was not going about this in the way she had envisioned.
"I assure you that he holds you in the highest regard. As you are my friend and teammate I am sure you will extend your usual courtesy and understanding to him when he speaks with you." With that, Teyla turned and left Sheppard standing in the now-deserted line. So shocked by what had just happened he wasn't aware that Rodney had swept past him to scoop up the last slice of cake. He didn't notice anything…or anyone…for a very long time.
~*~
"Colonel Sheppard." John jumped. He'd been expecting Kanaan and still he was caught off guard. Not the position of power he'd hoped for.
"Kanaan." John cleared his throat. Squeaky. Definitely not cool.
"Would it be possible for you to walk with me?" Kanaan gestured towards the uninhabited portion of the city. "I have a matter of some importance to speak to you about."
John bit back the sigh that wanted to escape. Gesturing for Kanaan to lead the way, he fell into step with him and waited to hear what the two of them found so important.
Once clear of the residential section Kanaan wasted no time getting to the point.
"Teyla and I would like to Join." He looked expectantly at John as though the meaning of this should be perfectly clear.
"Join what?" Not so clear. They were already a couple…already had a child! Not much more joined than that. Athosians didn't seem to have marriages the way John was familiar with the concept.
"In our culture it would be considered a form of avarice to form exclusive pair bonds when the populations of so many worlds depend on a healthy gene pool to survive. Taking two genetic donors away by such exclusivity is looked upon as insensitive at best and a criminal act by the most vocal among us."
John wasn't surprised. Between the Wraith, the Hoffan outbreak and Michael's predations there really weren't that many healthy, breeding age humans left in Pegasus. The expedition members had been fielding propositions more and more frequently as they traveled off world.
"The only allowable scenario would be to invite another healthy, fertile member of the community into our bed." John's eyebrows began their crawl up his forehead. Teyla had warned Kanaan that this was a sign of unease. He hurried to explain himself before the Colonel ended their conversation.
"Normally it would be assumed that we would involve another woman but I am not willing to discuss that possibility." Colonel Sheppard seemed to be edging his way towards the adjoining hall. He had little time to make his case. Teyla would be unhappy if he did not complete this task before he met with her this afternoon.
"That would be showing her a disrespect that I could not allow. Teyla has made Atlantis her home." The minute relaxing of the man in front of him gave Kanaan some hope. "The idea of bringing another woman to her bed, in her home, is repugnant to me. Perhaps if we had made a home away from Atlantis that could be possible but not as things are." He drew in a breath, so did John. This was it.
"Instead, we have decided that the best course is to take another, trusted, man into our bed. A healthy, fertile member of the Atlantis community, thus bonding the Athosians and the expedition together and silencing the critics of both our union and Teyla's place here among you."
John panicked. There was no way he could hear what ever else Kanaan had to say. He mumbled an excuse that later he would have no memory of and fled.
"Colonel!" Kanaan's worried call only spurred John to greater speed.
Teyla was going to be very unhappy with him.
~*~
"John."
"Teyla." John rubbed the back of his neck. "I suppose you've talked to Kanaan."
"Yes." Teyla crossed her arms over her chest. John knew from unhappy experience that meant she was pissed. "You did not allow him to finish explaining our situation even though I asked you to do so." She looked down at the toe of her boot for a moment, as though collecting her thoughts…or reigning in the desire to strike John with her sticks.
"It pains me not to have my love as my Joined partner. This would be something that my grandmother would have had without question. It is just another thing the Wraith have stolen from me. Stolen from my people."
Tears. God damn it all, she was crying. John had never seen her cry and it horrified him that he was partially to blame for seeing it now. He futilely checked his pockets for the handkerchief he knew wasn't there.
"We have great affection for you, you know this." John could only nod. He did know that. In her way Teyla loved John just as John loved her. "I could think of no one else that I wanted to extend the Gift to. Only you. And you would not even listen." She wiped her cheeks and glared at John.
"I'm sorry." He was. Really, really sorry. Being sorry didn't stop his feet from wanting to beat a hasty retreat. He forced himself to stand tall and face the tiny warrior in front of him. "I'm listening now."
~*~
Something about what Teyla wanted sounded good…even homey to John. But there was also the part of being the third party…the extra…the unwanted but required participant that made John's chest ache. No. Not even for Teyla. Not matter what he owed her.
His life. He owed her his life and the lives of all the expedition members a dozen times over and never once during these 'conversations' had she brought that up. She'd only asked that he listen and he hadn't even willingly done that.
He ran his hands thru his hair and he paced up and back in the narrow corridor. So engrossed in his own thoughts he didn't notice Major Lorne watching him with concern.
"Sir." Lorne tried to get his CO's attention. "Colonel? You okay, Sir?"
"What?" Sheppard swung back in Lorne's direction, momentarily stopping the pacing. "Yeah, sure. I'm fine." He found himself on the verge of asking his XO what he knew about Athosian mating practices but managed to hold off in the end. "Really, I'm fine. Just thinking."
The Major wasn't convinced but Sheppard was the boss. He'd leave it be. "Good enough then, Sir. I'll be on deck for the rest of the afternoon."
John was startled to realize that he'd spent the entirety of his patrol pacing in "C" corridor. "Way to go, John!" he growled at himself. All this was beginning to affect his job performance. That meant that one way or the other it had to end today. He'd heard them out. He'd owed them that much. Now he'd have to find the words to turn them down nicely or to accept what seemed impossible. Sheppard changed direction one last time and strode off towards Teyla's quarters.
Once he reached her door he wanted nothing more than to turn and leave without knocking. No. He had to decide. Give Teyla this "gift" as she called it…when it really cost him nothing to do so…or personally make it impossible for her to have the security and family she craved. No real choice when he considered it that way.
He knocked.
~*~
"Welcome, John." Teyla reached out and clasped his hand, drawing him into her quarters. The room was dimly lit with candles, smoky with incense. It sent John's senses reeling.
"I'm glad you've come. Does this mean you have come to a decision?" She looked so hopeful. It was impossible to let her down. She released his hand while she gave him time to speak.
"Yes." John wanted to run. Oh, how he wanted to run. The "why me's" screamed on unanswered in his head. He ignored them as best he could and reached to recapture her small hand. "Yes." It was all he could manage but it seemed to be enough.
Teyla's smile was blinding. She carefully drew John to Kanaan, who eased the three of them towards the large bed that had been made in hopeful anticipation of John's acceptance.
Gently pressed down with the two others stroking his arms and face forced the panic back up a notch…or three.
John bolted upright, pushing back against Teyla's gentle resistance.
"But how is this supposed to work…" The press of Teyla's lips against his cut off John's question. John flailed a little, not knowing where to place his hands and needing badly to put them somewhere. He relaxed into Teyla's embrace when a large, calloused hand took his and squeezed. It was grounding, comforting. Somewhere in there John started kissing back.
When Teyla finally let him up for air John gazed up at her with all his fears and insecurities open for her to see. She smiled down at him and stroked her fingers through his unruly hair.
"You are safe here, John. You are one of us." If only John could count on that. "If in the fullness of time you choose a mate, a family to replace us we will rejoice with you even as we mourn your leaving. If you decide to join that family with us we will rejoice in that union. If you decide to stay here, in this bed with us for the rest of your life we will rejoice in that decision each and every day." She bent down to kiss him again.
Once again Teyla released him, letting him catch his breath. He realized then that Kanaan was still securely holding his hand. He looked up at the other man, questioning him with a tilt of an eyebrow. He didn't understand how this man could be willing to share his wife with him…to risk her becoming pregnant by him. Kanaan seemed to sense his unasked question because his smile was filled with a tenderness that John had rarely seen.
"Every mariner needs a safe harbor to return to, John. It matters not if the ship he sails is on the sea or among the stars." He stroked his thumb over the back of John's hand. It felt…nice. It felt like he may be wanted after all. "Even the most seasoned sailor needs a reason to come home." He drew John's hand to his chest and held it there. Slowly, so slowly, he bent forward and pressed a kiss to John's forehead. "We know we will not be able to pull you in from the stars, John, but we can be your reason to come home." Another gentle kiss, this one to John's cheek. "We can be your safe harbor." Finally one to his unresisting lips, "We want to be."
John lay still for a long moment, thinking. Slowly he pulled his hand away from Kanaan's chest. The disappointment on the other man's face removed the last lingering doubts that John had. He kept his fingers firmly around Kanaan's as he drew both their hands to his own chest. With his other hand he reached out to Teyla, needing to include her in the moment.
"I want you to be." The kisses he bestowed on the two of them heated quickly from tentative to aroused. Teyla's laugh as she pushed John back into the pillows was music to John's ears. It was the sound of welcome. The sound of home.
Author: rabidfan
Recipient: busaikko
Pairing: Teyla/Kanaan/Sheppard
Rating: Barely PG-13…because of subject matter not because of any fun stuff!
Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate or any of its characters. This is a work of fiction for the entertainment of the recipient. No harm or profit was intended or made.
Summary: Every sailor needs a safe harbor to come home to.
Home From the Sea
Teyla marched up to John while he waited in line for the last of the chocolate cake (at least until the next Daedalus run); she knew that he'd have to be forcibly torn away from the prospect of the sweet confection and by confronting him here she was fairly assured he wouldn't bolt.
"John." She stopped his (and by that everyone else's as well) forward progress through the line. "I would speak with you about a matter of great significance."
"Teyla." Sheppard squinted his eyes while rocking his head back slightly. One of the things Teyla had learned about John that spoke volumes about his state of mind. A 'tell', the Earthers called them. This particular one said he was nervous. Very nervous.
Sheppard looked around the mess, taking in the impatient people waiting for their cake. Any moment he'd run his hand over the back of his neck like a scolded child. There, like that.
John rubbed his neck and waited with as much patience as the restless line would allow. "Do you think it could wait until I'm not in the food line?"
"No." Teyla sent a dangerous look over John's shoulder to the marine pressing into his back. Wisely the Sergeant decided that cake wasn't what he wanted after all.
"Kanaan will be approaching you shortly with a request." Sheppard was beginning to show signs of panic. She should have just left this in Kanaan's capable hands.
"I would only ask that you remember that our customs often differ sharply from those of your home world." No, that hadn't helped. If anything John looked more frightened than before.
"What he asks of you is a great, great honor. Seldom held out to those outside of the family circle. I would not be happy if you found his request…distasteful." The way John's eyes widened at that would have been humorous at any other time. She was not going about this in the way she had envisioned.
"I assure you that he holds you in the highest regard. As you are my friend and teammate I am sure you will extend your usual courtesy and understanding to him when he speaks with you." With that, Teyla turned and left Sheppard standing in the now-deserted line. So shocked by what had just happened he wasn't aware that Rodney had swept past him to scoop up the last slice of cake. He didn't notice anything…or anyone…for a very long time.
~*~
"Colonel Sheppard." John jumped. He'd been expecting Kanaan and still he was caught off guard. Not the position of power he'd hoped for.
"Kanaan." John cleared his throat. Squeaky. Definitely not cool.
"Would it be possible for you to walk with me?" Kanaan gestured towards the uninhabited portion of the city. "I have a matter of some importance to speak to you about."
John bit back the sigh that wanted to escape. Gesturing for Kanaan to lead the way, he fell into step with him and waited to hear what the two of them found so important.
Once clear of the residential section Kanaan wasted no time getting to the point.
"Teyla and I would like to Join." He looked expectantly at John as though the meaning of this should be perfectly clear.
"Join what?" Not so clear. They were already a couple…already had a child! Not much more joined than that. Athosians didn't seem to have marriages the way John was familiar with the concept.
"In our culture it would be considered a form of avarice to form exclusive pair bonds when the populations of so many worlds depend on a healthy gene pool to survive. Taking two genetic donors away by such exclusivity is looked upon as insensitive at best and a criminal act by the most vocal among us."
John wasn't surprised. Between the Wraith, the Hoffan outbreak and Michael's predations there really weren't that many healthy, breeding age humans left in Pegasus. The expedition members had been fielding propositions more and more frequently as they traveled off world.
"The only allowable scenario would be to invite another healthy, fertile member of the community into our bed." John's eyebrows began their crawl up his forehead. Teyla had warned Kanaan that this was a sign of unease. He hurried to explain himself before the Colonel ended their conversation.
"Normally it would be assumed that we would involve another woman but I am not willing to discuss that possibility." Colonel Sheppard seemed to be edging his way towards the adjoining hall. He had little time to make his case. Teyla would be unhappy if he did not complete this task before he met with her this afternoon.
"That would be showing her a disrespect that I could not allow. Teyla has made Atlantis her home." The minute relaxing of the man in front of him gave Kanaan some hope. "The idea of bringing another woman to her bed, in her home, is repugnant to me. Perhaps if we had made a home away from Atlantis that could be possible but not as things are." He drew in a breath, so did John. This was it.
"Instead, we have decided that the best course is to take another, trusted, man into our bed. A healthy, fertile member of the Atlantis community, thus bonding the Athosians and the expedition together and silencing the critics of both our union and Teyla's place here among you."
John panicked. There was no way he could hear what ever else Kanaan had to say. He mumbled an excuse that later he would have no memory of and fled.
"Colonel!" Kanaan's worried call only spurred John to greater speed.
Teyla was going to be very unhappy with him.
~*~
"John."
"Teyla." John rubbed the back of his neck. "I suppose you've talked to Kanaan."
"Yes." Teyla crossed her arms over her chest. John knew from unhappy experience that meant she was pissed. "You did not allow him to finish explaining our situation even though I asked you to do so." She looked down at the toe of her boot for a moment, as though collecting her thoughts…or reigning in the desire to strike John with her sticks.
"It pains me not to have my love as my Joined partner. This would be something that my grandmother would have had without question. It is just another thing the Wraith have stolen from me. Stolen from my people."
Tears. God damn it all, she was crying. John had never seen her cry and it horrified him that he was partially to blame for seeing it now. He futilely checked his pockets for the handkerchief he knew wasn't there.
"We have great affection for you, you know this." John could only nod. He did know that. In her way Teyla loved John just as John loved her. "I could think of no one else that I wanted to extend the Gift to. Only you. And you would not even listen." She wiped her cheeks and glared at John.
"I'm sorry." He was. Really, really sorry. Being sorry didn't stop his feet from wanting to beat a hasty retreat. He forced himself to stand tall and face the tiny warrior in front of him. "I'm listening now."
~*~
Something about what Teyla wanted sounded good…even homey to John. But there was also the part of being the third party…the extra…the unwanted but required participant that made John's chest ache. No. Not even for Teyla. Not matter what he owed her.
His life. He owed her his life and the lives of all the expedition members a dozen times over and never once during these 'conversations' had she brought that up. She'd only asked that he listen and he hadn't even willingly done that.
He ran his hands thru his hair and he paced up and back in the narrow corridor. So engrossed in his own thoughts he didn't notice Major Lorne watching him with concern.
"Sir." Lorne tried to get his CO's attention. "Colonel? You okay, Sir?"
"What?" Sheppard swung back in Lorne's direction, momentarily stopping the pacing. "Yeah, sure. I'm fine." He found himself on the verge of asking his XO what he knew about Athosian mating practices but managed to hold off in the end. "Really, I'm fine. Just thinking."
The Major wasn't convinced but Sheppard was the boss. He'd leave it be. "Good enough then, Sir. I'll be on deck for the rest of the afternoon."
John was startled to realize that he'd spent the entirety of his patrol pacing in "C" corridor. "Way to go, John!" he growled at himself. All this was beginning to affect his job performance. That meant that one way or the other it had to end today. He'd heard them out. He'd owed them that much. Now he'd have to find the words to turn them down nicely or to accept what seemed impossible. Sheppard changed direction one last time and strode off towards Teyla's quarters.
Once he reached her door he wanted nothing more than to turn and leave without knocking. No. He had to decide. Give Teyla this "gift" as she called it…when it really cost him nothing to do so…or personally make it impossible for her to have the security and family she craved. No real choice when he considered it that way.
He knocked.
~*~
"Welcome, John." Teyla reached out and clasped his hand, drawing him into her quarters. The room was dimly lit with candles, smoky with incense. It sent John's senses reeling.
"I'm glad you've come. Does this mean you have come to a decision?" She looked so hopeful. It was impossible to let her down. She released his hand while she gave him time to speak.
"Yes." John wanted to run. Oh, how he wanted to run. The "why me's" screamed on unanswered in his head. He ignored them as best he could and reached to recapture her small hand. "Yes." It was all he could manage but it seemed to be enough.
Teyla's smile was blinding. She carefully drew John to Kanaan, who eased the three of them towards the large bed that had been made in hopeful anticipation of John's acceptance.
Gently pressed down with the two others stroking his arms and face forced the panic back up a notch…or three.
John bolted upright, pushing back against Teyla's gentle resistance.
"But how is this supposed to work…" The press of Teyla's lips against his cut off John's question. John flailed a little, not knowing where to place his hands and needing badly to put them somewhere. He relaxed into Teyla's embrace when a large, calloused hand took his and squeezed. It was grounding, comforting. Somewhere in there John started kissing back.
When Teyla finally let him up for air John gazed up at her with all his fears and insecurities open for her to see. She smiled down at him and stroked her fingers through his unruly hair.
"You are safe here, John. You are one of us." If only John could count on that. "If in the fullness of time you choose a mate, a family to replace us we will rejoice with you even as we mourn your leaving. If you decide to join that family with us we will rejoice in that union. If you decide to stay here, in this bed with us for the rest of your life we will rejoice in that decision each and every day." She bent down to kiss him again.
Once again Teyla released him, letting him catch his breath. He realized then that Kanaan was still securely holding his hand. He looked up at the other man, questioning him with a tilt of an eyebrow. He didn't understand how this man could be willing to share his wife with him…to risk her becoming pregnant by him. Kanaan seemed to sense his unasked question because his smile was filled with a tenderness that John had rarely seen.
"Every mariner needs a safe harbor to return to, John. It matters not if the ship he sails is on the sea or among the stars." He stroked his thumb over the back of John's hand. It felt…nice. It felt like he may be wanted after all. "Even the most seasoned sailor needs a reason to come home." He drew John's hand to his chest and held it there. Slowly, so slowly, he bent forward and pressed a kiss to John's forehead. "We know we will not be able to pull you in from the stars, John, but we can be your reason to come home." Another gentle kiss, this one to John's cheek. "We can be your safe harbor." Finally one to his unresisting lips, "We want to be."
John lay still for a long moment, thinking. Slowly he pulled his hand away from Kanaan's chest. The disappointment on the other man's face removed the last lingering doubts that John had. He kept his fingers firmly around Kanaan's as he drew both their hands to his own chest. With his other hand he reached out to Teyla, needing to include her in the moment.
"I want you to be." The kisses he bestowed on the two of them heated quickly from tentative to aroused. Teyla's laugh as she pushed John back into the pillows was music to John's ears. It was the sound of welcome. The sound of home.