Fic: Aloha
Title: Aloha
Author: maverick4oz
Pairings: McKay/Dex (Gen scenes with Sheppard and Teyla as well)
Rating: R
Recipient: iamtheenemy
Spoilers: Set during The Return: Part 1, so spoilers for all episodes to that point. (Also a wee little echo of a line of dialogue from Echoes)
Summary: Rodney's never been good with goodbyes.
Author's Notes: Information on the various meanings of aloha can be found HERE To iamtheenemy, I hope your holiday is Merry and Bright.
Aloha
~*~*~*~*
Rodney was 36 hours into preparations to turn the city back over to the Ancients before it really began to sink in. They were being removed from Atlantis like they had been homeless squatters instead of the dedicated personnel who had revived and protected the city with their blood, sweat and tears. All of their plans, all of their research, all of the team members lost before, during, and after the Siege and beyond... All of it meant nothing now.
While Rodney was known for his ranting and general bitchiness, it was more a simple default setting than real viciousness that drove him. But this feeling -- this impotent rage -- in the pit of his stomach was unlike anything he'd ever felt before.
That wasn't entirely true. He could admit that perhaps he felt a similar twinge for the King Wraith that hunted Ronon on Sateda and of course there was Kolya -- who he wanted to personally rip limb from limb with his bare hands. But even that anger was manageable. What he felt for these *people* that they had rescued went well beyond that. Ancients or not, if he could annihilate them with his mind, he would.
But sadly, even with his genius brain, he couldn't do that -- so instead he closed down his computer and threw his metal coffee cup across the empty lab. It skidded to a halt with a satisfactory thump, and he left it on the ground where it lay.
It took almost another hour of pointless packing up his room before he homed in on the awful reality that he might never see Teyla and Ronon again. That maybe hurt most of all. He would give up his life for either one of them and he was secure in the knowledge that both would do the same for him. But it went deeper than that. Sure he called them names -- and they returned the favor more times than not -- but they were *his* team, his family.
They were his.
They were both on a very short list of people who saw all his flaws and liked him anyway. He better than anyone understood what a rare and precious gift that was and he wasn't sure he'd be able to function without it. He learned so much on Atlantis and only a small part of it had anything to do with science. He was a better person here and though he wouldn't admit it, he feared that once back on Earth, he'd fall back into old patterns, especially without the constant presence of his team to remind him. If those reminders sometimes came dripping with sarcasm or with a thwap to the back of the head, he really couldn't complain.
While Teyla would never be his intellectual match, she possessed a wisdom that Rodney had come to envy. She taught him to appreciate silence and to welcome each dawn.
It had become a tradition of theirs to share a cup of tea as the sun began to rise. He was usually on his way back from the labs and she was just waking up. It was their little secret. He knew how hard it was for Teyla to not be able to share this lifetime custom with her own people each day. He felt humbled and honored that she would share it with him.
Looking at his watch, he hoped he still had time. He walked through the threshold of the balcony just off Teyla's room to find her extending a steaming cup of tea to him. "I had hoped you might come and share one last sunrise with me Rodney."
Sitting down on the mat beside her, Rodney took a sip of his tea and turned to meet Teyla's eyes. "I'll miss this -- you."
Teyla bent her head until her forehead rested against Rodney's. "Never fear. You are not one easily forgotten Dr. McKay. I am sure we will meet again."
With that simple touch, Rodney felt all his anger ebb away. He would figure out a way to bring them all together again. He was sure of it. Any other option was unacceptable.
Slowly pulling her head away, Teyla picked up her tea and took a sip. "Come let us watch the sun begin her dance across the water."
Rodney nodded and turned his eyes out toward the ocean. The sunrise was as beautiful as he could ever remember seeing it and Teyla's hand on his knee was a warm and welcome weight. He knew with certainty if he had any kind of grace in his life, it was because of Teyla.
"You're all set?" he asked sometime later. He stood up and extended his hand to Teyla even though she certainly didn't need his help to rise.
She took his hand and nodded. "Ronon and I will travel with the remainder of my people to the new settlement soon after you and the rest of our friends return to Earth."
Rodney looked down and met her eyes. "You'll look after him, won't you?"
Teyla placed a comforting hand on his elbow. "Yes. Ronon and I will look after each other." She reached up and pulled his head to hers until they were forehead to forehead once more. "And I expect you and the Colonel to do the same."
Rodney smiled. He hoped that someday Teyla would have children. She would be a wonderful mother if how she kept the three of them in line was any indication. "Yes Ma'am."
Taking a step back, Teyla tilted her head and smiled. "Now go and say your farewells to Ronon. He is waiting."
Rodney squeezed her hand and kissed her cheek, words -- usually so easy -- failing him miserably.
Teyla smiled again, her eyes fond as she walked past him to her room. And just as she'd taught him, there was comfort in that silence. He might not have known what to say, but Teyla had heard him loud and clear.
Rodney stopped by his room to pick up the box of supplies he thought Ronon might appreciate. It was mostly PowerBars and various other food items he had stashed over the years.
He stood clutching the box at the threshold of Ronon's room as the door swooshed open. Ronon took one look at him, ripped the box out of his hands and let it crash to the floor as he pulled Rodney into a tight hug even before the door closed behind them. Letting go, Ronon took a step back. "I wondered if you were going to say goodbye."
Rodney looked up knowing his face revealed every emotion he was feeling. "I almost didn't. It wasn't because..." Rodney waved his hands, letting his head fall forward to rest against Ronon's chest.
Ronon stroked his thumb across Rodney's nape. "I know, McKay. Believe me I know."
Rodney blew out a breath and lifted his head to look at Ronon. "This sucks."
"Yeah it does," Ronon said before bending his head to press his lips to Rodney's. "We still have now though."
Letting his hands slid up under the back of Ronon's shirt, Rodney stretched up to nuzzle the tattoo on Ronon's neck. "Now's good."
"Better than good." Ronon placed his hands on Rodney's hips and walked him backward toward the bed.
It still surprised Rodney how easily they'd come together. From the outside, they appeared to be polar opposites -- stoic vs. caustic, brains vs. brawn. And while those generalizations may have held some truth, they came up short. Ronon was smart. Rodney would be the first to admit it took him longer than it should have to realize it. He should have known that no one could have evaded the Wraith for such a long time on strength alone. In contrast, Ronon came to rely on Rodney on missions almost immediately. He saw something in Rodney that said *team* to him. Ronon understood that Rodney might not be the best fighter physically, but he pulled his weight when it mattered, and his brain had saved them all just as much as Ronon's gun.
So maybe they were different, but those differences complemented each other. Nowhere was that more evident than in bed. Ronon was as sure and focused during sex as he was on patrol. And Rodney had proved himself to be just as inventive there as he was when he was saving their lives.
Today was no different. Ronon marched his way across Rodney's body with his mouth and his hands with such focused intensity that Rodney could do little else but arch and shudder beneath him. It should have been rushed, it should have been frantic, but it wasn't. It felt more like a celebration than a goodbye, and Rodney was overcome with the sudden need to make sure that's what Ronon was feeling as well. He hooked his leg around Ronon's bad knee and used a move he'd taught him in training to leverage himself upward, flipping Ronon over onto his back. He landed on top of him with an "oomph." They were very lucky the bed didn't break.
Ronon looked up at him with such pride, a happy smile lighting his face. "You're getting way better at that."
Kissing the side of Ronon's mouth, Rodney laughed. "Only you would be so happy I'm using your weak knees to my advantage."
"Course I am. Means you've been listening. Use whatever advantage you can." Ronon reached down and grasped Rodney's ass, grinding their erections together. "Besides, when it ends with you on top of me, where's the bad in that?"
Rodney's breath hitched as they found a rhythm and moved together. Pushing the dreadlocks off of Ronon's neck, Rodney kissed and sucked a path across his collarbone. "No bad. I just don't want to hurt you."
"Sometimes a little hurt's the only thing that lets us know we're alive."
Rodney was about to argue that point, but then Ronon was wrapping his big hand around both their cocks, stripping them with such rough precision that Rodney couldn't do anything but press his mouth to Ronon's, his tongue sliding against its counterpart until they were both breathless and panting. Then nothing else mattered but finding their release together.
Once they were cleaned up, Ronon took Rodney's hand in his and slipped a thin braided leather band over his fingers and down to his wrist. It was a perfect match to the one that was on his own wrist. He kissed the pulse point and looked Rodney straight in the eye. "The bands are made from a strip of leather from the vest my Mother made for me when I was commissioned into the Satedan Army. I gave similar ones to Teyla and Sheppard last night. But these..." Ronon rubbed the two bands together. "Ours are braided together. Two are stronger as one."
Rodney found himself at a loss of words yet again so he burrowed his head against Ronon's neck, resting his palm on Ronon's heart. "Come with us."
Ronon's breath was warm against the top of his head. "You know I can't."
Rodney nodded, molding himself against Ronon's side. "Ask me to stay?"
Ronon tilted Rodney's head toward him. "I want to."
Kissing Ronon's jaw, Rodney smiled sadly. "But you won't."
"No, I won't. We have different fights now."
"I will be coming back. We all will. I promise."
Ronon looked at Rodney like he always did -- like he truly believed.
"But in the meantime there's PowerBars and those peanut butter crackers you like so much in the box over there along with a lot of other food. I figured you could trade what you don't like. Oh and I put in my Swiss Army Knife too. You can't have too many knives right?"
"No you can't. I'll find a good hiding place for it. Thank you."
Rodney rolled them over so that Ronon was draped on top of him. Wrapping his arms around Ronon's neck, he hugged him tight. "I'm not good with goodbyes. Or hellos for that matter. I'm not good with any of it. But if I was... good at it, I'd want you to know how much I ..."
Ronon kissed his temple. "Sshhh. I know. Me too."
"It's just. I never expected..."
Rubbing his thumb across Rodney's lips, Ronon continued to shush him. "Me either. No goodbyes though. We'll say aloha instead."
Rodney's eyes widened. That certainly wasn't anything he'd expected to hear from Ronon. "Aloha?"
"Yeah, aloha."
Rodney frowned. "Has Colonel Sheppard been trying to convince you of the merits of surfing by showing you Beach Blanket Bimbo again?"
As Ronon shook his head, his dreads tickled Rodney's neck. "No. Lieutenant Kauwe taught me some Hawaiian during our last training mission. The one where we spent all that time in the mud."
Rodney remembered that mission. Ronon had come back covered in mud but with a smile as bright as Rodney had seen it. He had met him in the shower and they had spent a long, long time getting dirty again in all sorts of fun ways.
The way Ronon was smiling at him, Rodney knew he was remembering that night as well. "His language reminds me of Satedan."
"How so?"
"Both have words with more than one meaning."
Rodney was trying to work out where Ronon was going with this. "So aloha, it means hello and goodbye right?"
"Yeah, but much, much more." Rolling on his side, Ronon splayed his hand over Rodney's heart, his fingers sweeping back and forth in a comforting, familiar pattern. "It means hello and goodbye but also things like affection, love, mercy and other stuff too."
"I like that."
Ronon smiled, wide and bright, and Rodney burned that image into his mind. The memory would never be enough, but it was something.
"I like it too. So let's make a pact. No goodbyes. Just aloha when we meet again."
Nodding his agreement, Rodney settled back against Ronon's side, Ronon's fingers tracing patterns up and down his back. They stayed like that until it was time to go. Wearing nothing but his low slung leather pants, Ronon walked Rodney back across the room to the door. Leaning down, he kissed him, his lips gentle and his eyes bright. "Try and stay out of trouble."
"You too." Rodney hugged him tight one last time before walking through the threshold.
Ronon braced his arms on either side of the doorway and leaned out into the hall. "Hey McKay."
Rodney turned back, silent.
"Watch Sheppard's back for him."
Rodney gave him a small smile and nodded again before heading to the control room to finish the last of the preparations. He needed to let the work he had left to do become a comforting noise in his head because it was the only way he'd ever be able to walk away.
~*~*~*~*~
They'd been back on Earth three weeks and Rodney was still having trouble remembering to answer his cell phone; his hand still went automatically to clicking on his ear piece. "McKay."
"You busy?"
Rodney smiled and settled back into his chair. "I'm always busy. What can I do for you Colonel?"
"Just checking to see if you're settled."
"Well the lab is stocked perfectly to my specs, three separate assistants bring me coffee and doughnuts pretty much around the clock, and no one has tried to kill me in weeks."
"So, it sucks being back, then huh?"
Rodney sighed. "Yeah it does." And it did. And Rodney -- who knew how bad he was with people -- was pretty damn sure it was just as awful for the rest of them. It was like a part of them -- something vital -- had been cut off. A phantom limb shaped like Teyla, Ronon and Atlantis. And he didn't miss how Sheppard had called it being "back", not home. Home was several light years away. "How'd your first off world mission go?"
"Let's just say a Genii harvest ceremony would have been more fun and leave it at that."
"That great huh? Did you get shot in the ass with an arrow?"
Sheppard brayed that loud laugh of his. "No, things like that only happen to you, Rodney."
Rodney really couldn't argue with that. Sometimes it did feel like he was the punch line in some big cosmic joke. Of course other times -- back home on Atlantis -- he felt like the luckiest bastard alive. "Do you think they're all right?"
Sheppard didn't even try to pretend he didn't know exactly who Rodney was talking about. "Both Ronon and Teyla dealt with the Wraith long before we stumbled into their galaxy."
Rodney knew this, but that wasn't the point. "But do you think they're all right?"
Sheppard was silent for a beat longer than necessary, meaning he was worried about them too. Rodney took it as a victory. "As long as Teyla doesn't try to make that tuddle root soup, they should be fine."
Rodney smiled. "She is an awful cook, isn't she?"
"You're only admitting it because she's not here to kick your ass."
Rodney never took much stock in notions like heartache, but he could honestly say he felt the absence of Teyla and Ronon to his very bones. "She makes good tea though."
Rodney heard the rustle of papers. "You missing your mornings of Zen?"
"You knew about those?"
"Teyla made me promise to make sure you didn't forget to appreciate the sunrise every once in a while."
That sounded so much like Teyla. "Do you think they miss us?" Rodney ran his thumb over the leather band around his wrist.
It took Sheppard a few seconds to answer again. "Me? Of course. You ... not so much."
"What? They like me just as much as you." And in Ronon's case, Rodney was pretty damn sure it was even more.
"Oh yes, I'm sure they miss being insulted on a daily basis."
"Hey... Wait. I did not." He could hear Sheppard laughing. "Oh, it's the kidding thing, isn't it?"
"Yeah. It's the kidding thing. Ronon said you weren't allowed to take yourself so seriously."
It wasn't until much later that Rodney realized that Sheppard never really answered his question. Of course, by that time Rodney knew the answer was yes from way down deep in his heart.
~*~*~*~*~
After that, things happened so fast. What was supposed to be a quick visit with Sheppard and Carson back at the SGC ended with them stealing a puddlejumper and heading back to Pegasus to defend their home.
By the time they'd met up with Teyla and Ronon, they were running on pure adrenaline. Clutching bowls of stew, they all huddled together around the campfire talking through contingency plans and worst case scenarios. Even with the dire situation that most likely faced them when they returned to Atlantis, Rodney could tell they were all extremely happy to be back together again.
He and Ronon didn't even have a spare moment alone until it was time to head back to Atlantis to take their city back. Rodney bumped his shoulder against Ronon's arm as they brought up the rear on the trek back to the jumper. "Aloha," he said quietly.
Ronon reached out, letting his thumb sweep across Rodney's nape as he smiled down at him. "Aloha."
For the first time in six weeks, Rodney felt whole. If they made it out of this, if they got their city back, Rodney would ask Ronon about all those other meanings for aloha. Because right now, he was almost certain what it really meant was coming home.
~*fin*~
Author: maverick4oz
Pairings: McKay/Dex (Gen scenes with Sheppard and Teyla as well)
Rating: R
Recipient: iamtheenemy
Spoilers: Set during The Return: Part 1, so spoilers for all episodes to that point. (Also a wee little echo of a line of dialogue from Echoes)
Summary: Rodney's never been good with goodbyes.
Author's Notes: Information on the various meanings of aloha can be found HERE To iamtheenemy, I hope your holiday is Merry and Bright.
Aloha
~*~*~*~*
Rodney was 36 hours into preparations to turn the city back over to the Ancients before it really began to sink in. They were being removed from Atlantis like they had been homeless squatters instead of the dedicated personnel who had revived and protected the city with their blood, sweat and tears. All of their plans, all of their research, all of the team members lost before, during, and after the Siege and beyond... All of it meant nothing now.
While Rodney was known for his ranting and general bitchiness, it was more a simple default setting than real viciousness that drove him. But this feeling -- this impotent rage -- in the pit of his stomach was unlike anything he'd ever felt before.
That wasn't entirely true. He could admit that perhaps he felt a similar twinge for the King Wraith that hunted Ronon on Sateda and of course there was Kolya -- who he wanted to personally rip limb from limb with his bare hands. But even that anger was manageable. What he felt for these *people* that they had rescued went well beyond that. Ancients or not, if he could annihilate them with his mind, he would.
But sadly, even with his genius brain, he couldn't do that -- so instead he closed down his computer and threw his metal coffee cup across the empty lab. It skidded to a halt with a satisfactory thump, and he left it on the ground where it lay.
It took almost another hour of pointless packing up his room before he homed in on the awful reality that he might never see Teyla and Ronon again. That maybe hurt most of all. He would give up his life for either one of them and he was secure in the knowledge that both would do the same for him. But it went deeper than that. Sure he called them names -- and they returned the favor more times than not -- but they were *his* team, his family.
They were his.
They were both on a very short list of people who saw all his flaws and liked him anyway. He better than anyone understood what a rare and precious gift that was and he wasn't sure he'd be able to function without it. He learned so much on Atlantis and only a small part of it had anything to do with science. He was a better person here and though he wouldn't admit it, he feared that once back on Earth, he'd fall back into old patterns, especially without the constant presence of his team to remind him. If those reminders sometimes came dripping with sarcasm or with a thwap to the back of the head, he really couldn't complain.
While Teyla would never be his intellectual match, she possessed a wisdom that Rodney had come to envy. She taught him to appreciate silence and to welcome each dawn.
It had become a tradition of theirs to share a cup of tea as the sun began to rise. He was usually on his way back from the labs and she was just waking up. It was their little secret. He knew how hard it was for Teyla to not be able to share this lifetime custom with her own people each day. He felt humbled and honored that she would share it with him.
Looking at his watch, he hoped he still had time. He walked through the threshold of the balcony just off Teyla's room to find her extending a steaming cup of tea to him. "I had hoped you might come and share one last sunrise with me Rodney."
Sitting down on the mat beside her, Rodney took a sip of his tea and turned to meet Teyla's eyes. "I'll miss this -- you."
Teyla bent her head until her forehead rested against Rodney's. "Never fear. You are not one easily forgotten Dr. McKay. I am sure we will meet again."
With that simple touch, Rodney felt all his anger ebb away. He would figure out a way to bring them all together again. He was sure of it. Any other option was unacceptable.
Slowly pulling her head away, Teyla picked up her tea and took a sip. "Come let us watch the sun begin her dance across the water."
Rodney nodded and turned his eyes out toward the ocean. The sunrise was as beautiful as he could ever remember seeing it and Teyla's hand on his knee was a warm and welcome weight. He knew with certainty if he had any kind of grace in his life, it was because of Teyla.
"You're all set?" he asked sometime later. He stood up and extended his hand to Teyla even though she certainly didn't need his help to rise.
She took his hand and nodded. "Ronon and I will travel with the remainder of my people to the new settlement soon after you and the rest of our friends return to Earth."
Rodney looked down and met her eyes. "You'll look after him, won't you?"
Teyla placed a comforting hand on his elbow. "Yes. Ronon and I will look after each other." She reached up and pulled his head to hers until they were forehead to forehead once more. "And I expect you and the Colonel to do the same."
Rodney smiled. He hoped that someday Teyla would have children. She would be a wonderful mother if how she kept the three of them in line was any indication. "Yes Ma'am."
Taking a step back, Teyla tilted her head and smiled. "Now go and say your farewells to Ronon. He is waiting."
Rodney squeezed her hand and kissed her cheek, words -- usually so easy -- failing him miserably.
Teyla smiled again, her eyes fond as she walked past him to her room. And just as she'd taught him, there was comfort in that silence. He might not have known what to say, but Teyla had heard him loud and clear.
Rodney stopped by his room to pick up the box of supplies he thought Ronon might appreciate. It was mostly PowerBars and various other food items he had stashed over the years.
He stood clutching the box at the threshold of Ronon's room as the door swooshed open. Ronon took one look at him, ripped the box out of his hands and let it crash to the floor as he pulled Rodney into a tight hug even before the door closed behind them. Letting go, Ronon took a step back. "I wondered if you were going to say goodbye."
Rodney looked up knowing his face revealed every emotion he was feeling. "I almost didn't. It wasn't because..." Rodney waved his hands, letting his head fall forward to rest against Ronon's chest.
Ronon stroked his thumb across Rodney's nape. "I know, McKay. Believe me I know."
Rodney blew out a breath and lifted his head to look at Ronon. "This sucks."
"Yeah it does," Ronon said before bending his head to press his lips to Rodney's. "We still have now though."
Letting his hands slid up under the back of Ronon's shirt, Rodney stretched up to nuzzle the tattoo on Ronon's neck. "Now's good."
"Better than good." Ronon placed his hands on Rodney's hips and walked him backward toward the bed.
It still surprised Rodney how easily they'd come together. From the outside, they appeared to be polar opposites -- stoic vs. caustic, brains vs. brawn. And while those generalizations may have held some truth, they came up short. Ronon was smart. Rodney would be the first to admit it took him longer than it should have to realize it. He should have known that no one could have evaded the Wraith for such a long time on strength alone. In contrast, Ronon came to rely on Rodney on missions almost immediately. He saw something in Rodney that said *team* to him. Ronon understood that Rodney might not be the best fighter physically, but he pulled his weight when it mattered, and his brain had saved them all just as much as Ronon's gun.
So maybe they were different, but those differences complemented each other. Nowhere was that more evident than in bed. Ronon was as sure and focused during sex as he was on patrol. And Rodney had proved himself to be just as inventive there as he was when he was saving their lives.
Today was no different. Ronon marched his way across Rodney's body with his mouth and his hands with such focused intensity that Rodney could do little else but arch and shudder beneath him. It should have been rushed, it should have been frantic, but it wasn't. It felt more like a celebration than a goodbye, and Rodney was overcome with the sudden need to make sure that's what Ronon was feeling as well. He hooked his leg around Ronon's bad knee and used a move he'd taught him in training to leverage himself upward, flipping Ronon over onto his back. He landed on top of him with an "oomph." They were very lucky the bed didn't break.
Ronon looked up at him with such pride, a happy smile lighting his face. "You're getting way better at that."
Kissing the side of Ronon's mouth, Rodney laughed. "Only you would be so happy I'm using your weak knees to my advantage."
"Course I am. Means you've been listening. Use whatever advantage you can." Ronon reached down and grasped Rodney's ass, grinding their erections together. "Besides, when it ends with you on top of me, where's the bad in that?"
Rodney's breath hitched as they found a rhythm and moved together. Pushing the dreadlocks off of Ronon's neck, Rodney kissed and sucked a path across his collarbone. "No bad. I just don't want to hurt you."
"Sometimes a little hurt's the only thing that lets us know we're alive."
Rodney was about to argue that point, but then Ronon was wrapping his big hand around both their cocks, stripping them with such rough precision that Rodney couldn't do anything but press his mouth to Ronon's, his tongue sliding against its counterpart until they were both breathless and panting. Then nothing else mattered but finding their release together.
Once they were cleaned up, Ronon took Rodney's hand in his and slipped a thin braided leather band over his fingers and down to his wrist. It was a perfect match to the one that was on his own wrist. He kissed the pulse point and looked Rodney straight in the eye. "The bands are made from a strip of leather from the vest my Mother made for me when I was commissioned into the Satedan Army. I gave similar ones to Teyla and Sheppard last night. But these..." Ronon rubbed the two bands together. "Ours are braided together. Two are stronger as one."
Rodney found himself at a loss of words yet again so he burrowed his head against Ronon's neck, resting his palm on Ronon's heart. "Come with us."
Ronon's breath was warm against the top of his head. "You know I can't."
Rodney nodded, molding himself against Ronon's side. "Ask me to stay?"
Ronon tilted Rodney's head toward him. "I want to."
Kissing Ronon's jaw, Rodney smiled sadly. "But you won't."
"No, I won't. We have different fights now."
"I will be coming back. We all will. I promise."
Ronon looked at Rodney like he always did -- like he truly believed.
"But in the meantime there's PowerBars and those peanut butter crackers you like so much in the box over there along with a lot of other food. I figured you could trade what you don't like. Oh and I put in my Swiss Army Knife too. You can't have too many knives right?"
"No you can't. I'll find a good hiding place for it. Thank you."
Rodney rolled them over so that Ronon was draped on top of him. Wrapping his arms around Ronon's neck, he hugged him tight. "I'm not good with goodbyes. Or hellos for that matter. I'm not good with any of it. But if I was... good at it, I'd want you to know how much I ..."
Ronon kissed his temple. "Sshhh. I know. Me too."
"It's just. I never expected..."
Rubbing his thumb across Rodney's lips, Ronon continued to shush him. "Me either. No goodbyes though. We'll say aloha instead."
Rodney's eyes widened. That certainly wasn't anything he'd expected to hear from Ronon. "Aloha?"
"Yeah, aloha."
Rodney frowned. "Has Colonel Sheppard been trying to convince you of the merits of surfing by showing you Beach Blanket Bimbo again?"
As Ronon shook his head, his dreads tickled Rodney's neck. "No. Lieutenant Kauwe taught me some Hawaiian during our last training mission. The one where we spent all that time in the mud."
Rodney remembered that mission. Ronon had come back covered in mud but with a smile as bright as Rodney had seen it. He had met him in the shower and they had spent a long, long time getting dirty again in all sorts of fun ways.
The way Ronon was smiling at him, Rodney knew he was remembering that night as well. "His language reminds me of Satedan."
"How so?"
"Both have words with more than one meaning."
Rodney was trying to work out where Ronon was going with this. "So aloha, it means hello and goodbye right?"
"Yeah, but much, much more." Rolling on his side, Ronon splayed his hand over Rodney's heart, his fingers sweeping back and forth in a comforting, familiar pattern. "It means hello and goodbye but also things like affection, love, mercy and other stuff too."
"I like that."
Ronon smiled, wide and bright, and Rodney burned that image into his mind. The memory would never be enough, but it was something.
"I like it too. So let's make a pact. No goodbyes. Just aloha when we meet again."
Nodding his agreement, Rodney settled back against Ronon's side, Ronon's fingers tracing patterns up and down his back. They stayed like that until it was time to go. Wearing nothing but his low slung leather pants, Ronon walked Rodney back across the room to the door. Leaning down, he kissed him, his lips gentle and his eyes bright. "Try and stay out of trouble."
"You too." Rodney hugged him tight one last time before walking through the threshold.
Ronon braced his arms on either side of the doorway and leaned out into the hall. "Hey McKay."
Rodney turned back, silent.
"Watch Sheppard's back for him."
Rodney gave him a small smile and nodded again before heading to the control room to finish the last of the preparations. He needed to let the work he had left to do become a comforting noise in his head because it was the only way he'd ever be able to walk away.
~*~*~*~*~
They'd been back on Earth three weeks and Rodney was still having trouble remembering to answer his cell phone; his hand still went automatically to clicking on his ear piece. "McKay."
"You busy?"
Rodney smiled and settled back into his chair. "I'm always busy. What can I do for you Colonel?"
"Just checking to see if you're settled."
"Well the lab is stocked perfectly to my specs, three separate assistants bring me coffee and doughnuts pretty much around the clock, and no one has tried to kill me in weeks."
"So, it sucks being back, then huh?"
Rodney sighed. "Yeah it does." And it did. And Rodney -- who knew how bad he was with people -- was pretty damn sure it was just as awful for the rest of them. It was like a part of them -- something vital -- had been cut off. A phantom limb shaped like Teyla, Ronon and Atlantis. And he didn't miss how Sheppard had called it being "back", not home. Home was several light years away. "How'd your first off world mission go?"
"Let's just say a Genii harvest ceremony would have been more fun and leave it at that."
"That great huh? Did you get shot in the ass with an arrow?"
Sheppard brayed that loud laugh of his. "No, things like that only happen to you, Rodney."
Rodney really couldn't argue with that. Sometimes it did feel like he was the punch line in some big cosmic joke. Of course other times -- back home on Atlantis -- he felt like the luckiest bastard alive. "Do you think they're all right?"
Sheppard didn't even try to pretend he didn't know exactly who Rodney was talking about. "Both Ronon and Teyla dealt with the Wraith long before we stumbled into their galaxy."
Rodney knew this, but that wasn't the point. "But do you think they're all right?"
Sheppard was silent for a beat longer than necessary, meaning he was worried about them too. Rodney took it as a victory. "As long as Teyla doesn't try to make that tuddle root soup, they should be fine."
Rodney smiled. "She is an awful cook, isn't she?"
"You're only admitting it because she's not here to kick your ass."
Rodney never took much stock in notions like heartache, but he could honestly say he felt the absence of Teyla and Ronon to his very bones. "She makes good tea though."
Rodney heard the rustle of papers. "You missing your mornings of Zen?"
"You knew about those?"
"Teyla made me promise to make sure you didn't forget to appreciate the sunrise every once in a while."
That sounded so much like Teyla. "Do you think they miss us?" Rodney ran his thumb over the leather band around his wrist.
It took Sheppard a few seconds to answer again. "Me? Of course. You ... not so much."
"What? They like me just as much as you." And in Ronon's case, Rodney was pretty damn sure it was even more.
"Oh yes, I'm sure they miss being insulted on a daily basis."
"Hey... Wait. I did not." He could hear Sheppard laughing. "Oh, it's the kidding thing, isn't it?"
"Yeah. It's the kidding thing. Ronon said you weren't allowed to take yourself so seriously."
It wasn't until much later that Rodney realized that Sheppard never really answered his question. Of course, by that time Rodney knew the answer was yes from way down deep in his heart.
~*~*~*~*~
After that, things happened so fast. What was supposed to be a quick visit with Sheppard and Carson back at the SGC ended with them stealing a puddlejumper and heading back to Pegasus to defend their home.
By the time they'd met up with Teyla and Ronon, they were running on pure adrenaline. Clutching bowls of stew, they all huddled together around the campfire talking through contingency plans and worst case scenarios. Even with the dire situation that most likely faced them when they returned to Atlantis, Rodney could tell they were all extremely happy to be back together again.
He and Ronon didn't even have a spare moment alone until it was time to head back to Atlantis to take their city back. Rodney bumped his shoulder against Ronon's arm as they brought up the rear on the trek back to the jumper. "Aloha," he said quietly.
Ronon reached out, letting his thumb sweep across Rodney's nape as he smiled down at him. "Aloha."
For the first time in six weeks, Rodney felt whole. If they made it out of this, if they got their city back, Rodney would ask Ronon about all those other meanings for aloha. Because right now, he was almost certain what it really meant was coming home.
~*fin*~