Fic: Asking For Miracles
Title: Asking For Miracles
Author: lapislaz
Pairing: Becket/Zelenka (slash)
Rating: NC-17
Recipient: pierson
Spoilers for "Letters From Pegasus"
Summary: Radek's been chasing Carson for two weeks.
Written for Pierson for SGA Santa
As Radek entered the mess hall, the first thing he noticed was that it was nearly deserted. The second thing was Carson sitting at a table near the window, staring out at the empty sky. Radek moved to the teacart and fixed two cups, remembering that Carson liked milk in his tea and no sugar. He walked over and dropped a quick kiss into the mussed dark brown hair, then slid the steaming mug in front of his friend and took the seat next to him.
Glancing sideways, Radek could tell that Lieutenant Ford's mission had not gone smoothly in the infirmary. Carson's eyes were red-rimmed and unfocused, and his face suspiciously wet. Not that he blamed him - the situation they were facing was grim. He felt fortunate that his own mother and father had passed on many years before. It was hard enough saying goodbye (without saying goodbye) to his sister.
"I asked about the bloody petunias and her toe fungus." A steady hand, belied by the shaky voice, picked up the stainless steel mug and brought it to its owner's mouth. Carson sipped cautiously, wincing at the temperature. The sting of heat finally brought focus to the blue eyes that shifted to look at Radek. "Did you record something for your sister and her family?"
"For my sister at least. My nephew could care less about me, and I could care less about her husband. Still," Radek said, sipping from his own mug, "It was hard. I could think of nothing to say that wasn't classified, even in Czech. In the end, I just told her to take care, and that I loved her. What more can I do?" Radek could feel the warmth of the tea starting to ease the stomach ache that had been bothering him since his own recording session.
"Aye - I managed to say that without blubbering like a wee babe, finally. And I suppose there's not much more we can do. Unless you and Rodney come up with a miracle, we're all doomed." Setting his mug down on the table, Carson clasped his hands around it.
"The Colonel and Teyla are out spying on the Wraith right now - perhaps they will find some intelligence that will aid us against their attacks. At least we have the chance to try."
"I almost wish I didn't know - having two weeks to plan for a horrifying death is just bloody gruesome." Carson lowered his head, staring down at his hands. "It serves me right, I suppose. Heaven only knows how many patients I've given slow death sentences. Every doctor should be told when and how he's going to die before he's allowed to practice. It's an awakening, let me tell you."
"Nothing is certain but death and change, this is truth. But do not be so quick to invite truth to sit down to table, my friend. A mere moment is enough to change a world. How long did it take us to travel through the Stargate to Atlantis? From our perspective, it's barely a flash. Who knows how the universe perceives it? Or what will happen in the next two weeks?" He sipped his tea serenely.
"How can you stand it?" Carson turned in his seat and looked straight at Radek. "Aren't you afraid?"
"Yes, of course I am afraid. Only idiots and children have no fear. Nevertheless, I am determined that when I go, it will be kicking and screaming and shooting and stabbing and any other method of killing the enemy that I can devise. And I can devise quite a bit." He chuckled. "All those letters behind my name, you know."
Carson stared at him, aghast. "I can't believe you're sitting there laughing about it. We're all going to be killed, man! The Wraith are going to literally suck the life right out of us. It's going to be nasty, messy, painful, and scary as crap. For God's sake, even if you care nothing for yourself, have a thought for the rest of us!" Carson slammed the mug down on the table, and Radek was thankful the mug was made of metal instead of ceramic as hot tea sloshed over the rim onto the table.
"Bloody hell." Carson jumped up and scanned the room, then dashed over to the serving counter where a stack of paper towels lay. Grabbing a handful, he ran back to the table and began to mop up the quickly cooling mess. Radek watched him thoughtfully and considered what he had learned in the two weeks since he and Carson had first kissed in his infirmary office.
Yes, Carson was emotional - he had no compunction at all about getting angry or upset when the situation called for it, and letting it show. He also had no problem in channeling that emotion when there was an emergency that required his skill and attention to a problem. Control came at a price, however. When the opportunity presented, an emotional outburst was quite likely - sometimes in private, sometimes not. Carson was always terribly embarrassed when his emotions got the better of him in public, and Radek figured Carson had had enough discomfiture for one day. He laid a gentle hand on Carson's forearm.
"I have a care for many people here in Atlantis - a few more than others, perhaps. One, in particular, has become very dear to me in the past few weeks." He stood up from the table, sliding along Carson's arm and taking his hand. "Come, let us go somewhere more private. I have something in my quarters that will make an excellent addition to the tea. Let us share a bit and spit in the eye of any Wraith foolhardy enough to bother us tonight, at least."
Carson looked at the pair of hands between them, and Radek wondered how he could still have hands that cold after holding the warm mug. "Aye, perhaps a wee dram of something would be just what the doctor ordered. Or at least what the doctor needs." Carson pushed away from the table and stood, taking his mug in one hand and holding onto Radek with his other. "Lead on, MacDuff."
They walked silently through the halls of Atlantis, still hand in hand. The few people that saw them looked a bit startled, but said nothing. They went into Radek's quarters and he waved Carson into a chair by the desk, the closest thing he had to a dining room table. As Carson sat, Radek dug into a crate by the foot of his bed and came up with a small, ugly brown jug. He opened the stopper, brought the opening to his nose, and took a deep breath. Strange herbs, sweetness, and alcohol assailed his senses, and he smiled.
"What is this, now?" Carson held out his mug and Radek poured a healthy splash into the now-tepid tea.
"It's an Athosian brew - they call it "green ice". They ferment a mixture of berries and herbs, then they distill it by freezing it and throwing away the ice on top." Radek poured a bit into his own mug, and then re-sealed the jug. "Go on, try it."
Carson peered into his mug and sniffed, then shrugged and took a sip. "Aye." He threw his head back slightly and took a deep breath. "That's got a bit of a kick to it. It's not Macallan, but it'll do in a pinch." Smiling, he raised the mug and looked at Radek expectantly. Radek raised his mug to touch the other.
"Here's to them... brought us this far
And to them we've yet to see,
Them that made us what we are
And them that we will be."
They both drank in silence. Then Carson sighed and put his mug down on the desk. He leaned forward, bracing his elbows on his knees and resting his chin on his hands.
"Radek? What do ye want from me? You've been chasing me all over the city for two weeks now. Is it just that ye want me in your bed?" Carson stared at him, eyes calm, face composed.
"Of course I want you - I do not kiss and run away. You are so impulsive, so free with your emotions. I admire that." Radek put his mug down and took Carson's hands in his own. "I must also admit I am the most superficial of men - when I hear your voice unexpectedly, I get goose bumps. I want to hear your delightful voice whisper my name in passion."
Carson closed his eyes. "So, it's just sex, then?"
"Only if that is what you want - personally, I want more than that. There is a fire in you that warms me. I wish to get closer to that fire - to warm my hands, and my heart." Radek leaned forward and kissed Carson gently. "We can argue about what to call it if we live long enough to worry about it."
"You know I'm no bargain - I'm a doctor, Radek. My life is my work. I'm always on call, waiting for the next emergency, which around here is practically all the time. A relationship with me would be catch as catch can, grab a moment here, an hour there, late nights, early mornings. I could never put you first, before my patients." Carson looked at him earnestly, eyes searching his face for what, Radek didn't know.
"Are you joking, Carson? I work for Rodney McKay - I will probably run into you at the door just before dawn, either coming or going," Radek laughed, then sobered. "We do not know what will happen, or how long we may have. What we cannot have in quantity, we will just have to make up for… in quality."
Carson must have found whatever he was looking for, because this time it was he who leaned in and kissed Radek, and did not withdraw. Instead, he shifted closer, freeing his hands and sliding them under Radek's jaw and back to tangle in his hair. Radek felt as much as heard Carson's groan, even as his own escaped around Carson's questing tongue. Radek's own hands went around Carson's waist.
Radek stood and drew Carson up with him, still enjoying a kiss that seemed like it was never going to end. This didn't upset Radek too badly - Carson kissed like a drowning man looking for air, and tasted of tea and the liquor. When they finally parted lips, Radek was delighted by the dazed look on his partner's face.
Radek slipped his hands up under Carson's shirt and smiled inwardly at the shiver it drew out of him. "I want to make love to you, Carson - to be inside you. Yes?" He nibbled along the perfect ears as he whispered the request.
"Oh God, yes!" Carson
said, almost wheezing the response as he grabbed Radek's shirttail and began to raise it over his head. "I want you to fuck me, Radek. I want to feel it for a week when we're done." He grinned as he threw the shirt onto the chair behind them, and reached for Radek's belt. Eagerly, clumsily, they stripped each other, not caring where the clothing wound up in their haste to satisfy their skin hunger.
************
Radek lay next to Carson, listening to his breathing slowly even out as he went deeper into sleep. Sweat still glistened on his back in the dim light from the window, and Radek reached out to collect a small drop on his finger. Bringing it to his lips, salt and Carson overwhelmed his senses. He savored each sensation, committing them to recall as if wrapping tissue paper around his grandmother's china cups. Every moment of the evening was an heirloom, to be cherished and preserved in his memory.
As he'd prepared Carson with lube and fingers, he'd finally heard what he had wanted for so long. His own name, said like a prayer to heaven in supplication of fulfillment, in that wonderful, magical voice. Sliding into Carson like a hand fitting a glove, it was repeated. This memory he would not put away for contemplation. This one he would hang on his heart and use as a talisman. It would remind him that their fate lay in his hands, his and the rest of the scientists.
In a little while, he would kiss Carson gently and find his clothes, then go back to his room to clean up and begin his day. Rodney was no doubt already there and wondering why Radek wasn't. The Wraith were on their way, and if they were to have any chance at all at survival, they needed to get busy making miracles.
But whether they had two weeks, two years, or two centuries, Radek knew he'd finally found someone he could call home. And if that wasn't a miracle, he didn't know what was.
Author: lapislaz
Pairing: Becket/Zelenka (slash)
Rating: NC-17
Recipient: pierson
Spoilers for "Letters From Pegasus"
Summary: Radek's been chasing Carson for two weeks.
Written for Pierson for SGA Santa
As Radek entered the mess hall, the first thing he noticed was that it was nearly deserted. The second thing was Carson sitting at a table near the window, staring out at the empty sky. Radek moved to the teacart and fixed two cups, remembering that Carson liked milk in his tea and no sugar. He walked over and dropped a quick kiss into the mussed dark brown hair, then slid the steaming mug in front of his friend and took the seat next to him.
Glancing sideways, Radek could tell that Lieutenant Ford's mission had not gone smoothly in the infirmary. Carson's eyes were red-rimmed and unfocused, and his face suspiciously wet. Not that he blamed him - the situation they were facing was grim. He felt fortunate that his own mother and father had passed on many years before. It was hard enough saying goodbye (without saying goodbye) to his sister.
"I asked about the bloody petunias and her toe fungus." A steady hand, belied by the shaky voice, picked up the stainless steel mug and brought it to its owner's mouth. Carson sipped cautiously, wincing at the temperature. The sting of heat finally brought focus to the blue eyes that shifted to look at Radek. "Did you record something for your sister and her family?"
"For my sister at least. My nephew could care less about me, and I could care less about her husband. Still," Radek said, sipping from his own mug, "It was hard. I could think of nothing to say that wasn't classified, even in Czech. In the end, I just told her to take care, and that I loved her. What more can I do?" Radek could feel the warmth of the tea starting to ease the stomach ache that had been bothering him since his own recording session.
"Aye - I managed to say that without blubbering like a wee babe, finally. And I suppose there's not much more we can do. Unless you and Rodney come up with a miracle, we're all doomed." Setting his mug down on the table, Carson clasped his hands around it.
"The Colonel and Teyla are out spying on the Wraith right now - perhaps they will find some intelligence that will aid us against their attacks. At least we have the chance to try."
"I almost wish I didn't know - having two weeks to plan for a horrifying death is just bloody gruesome." Carson lowered his head, staring down at his hands. "It serves me right, I suppose. Heaven only knows how many patients I've given slow death sentences. Every doctor should be told when and how he's going to die before he's allowed to practice. It's an awakening, let me tell you."
"Nothing is certain but death and change, this is truth. But do not be so quick to invite truth to sit down to table, my friend. A mere moment is enough to change a world. How long did it take us to travel through the Stargate to Atlantis? From our perspective, it's barely a flash. Who knows how the universe perceives it? Or what will happen in the next two weeks?" He sipped his tea serenely.
"How can you stand it?" Carson turned in his seat and looked straight at Radek. "Aren't you afraid?"
"Yes, of course I am afraid. Only idiots and children have no fear. Nevertheless, I am determined that when I go, it will be kicking and screaming and shooting and stabbing and any other method of killing the enemy that I can devise. And I can devise quite a bit." He chuckled. "All those letters behind my name, you know."
Carson stared at him, aghast. "I can't believe you're sitting there laughing about it. We're all going to be killed, man! The Wraith are going to literally suck the life right out of us. It's going to be nasty, messy, painful, and scary as crap. For God's sake, even if you care nothing for yourself, have a thought for the rest of us!" Carson slammed the mug down on the table, and Radek was thankful the mug was made of metal instead of ceramic as hot tea sloshed over the rim onto the table.
"Bloody hell." Carson jumped up and scanned the room, then dashed over to the serving counter where a stack of paper towels lay. Grabbing a handful, he ran back to the table and began to mop up the quickly cooling mess. Radek watched him thoughtfully and considered what he had learned in the two weeks since he and Carson had first kissed in his infirmary office.
Yes, Carson was emotional - he had no compunction at all about getting angry or upset when the situation called for it, and letting it show. He also had no problem in channeling that emotion when there was an emergency that required his skill and attention to a problem. Control came at a price, however. When the opportunity presented, an emotional outburst was quite likely - sometimes in private, sometimes not. Carson was always terribly embarrassed when his emotions got the better of him in public, and Radek figured Carson had had enough discomfiture for one day. He laid a gentle hand on Carson's forearm.
"I have a care for many people here in Atlantis - a few more than others, perhaps. One, in particular, has become very dear to me in the past few weeks." He stood up from the table, sliding along Carson's arm and taking his hand. "Come, let us go somewhere more private. I have something in my quarters that will make an excellent addition to the tea. Let us share a bit and spit in the eye of any Wraith foolhardy enough to bother us tonight, at least."
Carson looked at the pair of hands between them, and Radek wondered how he could still have hands that cold after holding the warm mug. "Aye, perhaps a wee dram of something would be just what the doctor ordered. Or at least what the doctor needs." Carson pushed away from the table and stood, taking his mug in one hand and holding onto Radek with his other. "Lead on, MacDuff."
They walked silently through the halls of Atlantis, still hand in hand. The few people that saw them looked a bit startled, but said nothing. They went into Radek's quarters and he waved Carson into a chair by the desk, the closest thing he had to a dining room table. As Carson sat, Radek dug into a crate by the foot of his bed and came up with a small, ugly brown jug. He opened the stopper, brought the opening to his nose, and took a deep breath. Strange herbs, sweetness, and alcohol assailed his senses, and he smiled.
"What is this, now?" Carson held out his mug and Radek poured a healthy splash into the now-tepid tea.
"It's an Athosian brew - they call it "green ice". They ferment a mixture of berries and herbs, then they distill it by freezing it and throwing away the ice on top." Radek poured a bit into his own mug, and then re-sealed the jug. "Go on, try it."
Carson peered into his mug and sniffed, then shrugged and took a sip. "Aye." He threw his head back slightly and took a deep breath. "That's got a bit of a kick to it. It's not Macallan, but it'll do in a pinch." Smiling, he raised the mug and looked at Radek expectantly. Radek raised his mug to touch the other.
"Here's to them... brought us this far
And to them we've yet to see,
Them that made us what we are
And them that we will be."
They both drank in silence. Then Carson sighed and put his mug down on the desk. He leaned forward, bracing his elbows on his knees and resting his chin on his hands.
"Radek? What do ye want from me? You've been chasing me all over the city for two weeks now. Is it just that ye want me in your bed?" Carson stared at him, eyes calm, face composed.
"Of course I want you - I do not kiss and run away. You are so impulsive, so free with your emotions. I admire that." Radek put his mug down and took Carson's hands in his own. "I must also admit I am the most superficial of men - when I hear your voice unexpectedly, I get goose bumps. I want to hear your delightful voice whisper my name in passion."
Carson closed his eyes. "So, it's just sex, then?"
"Only if that is what you want - personally, I want more than that. There is a fire in you that warms me. I wish to get closer to that fire - to warm my hands, and my heart." Radek leaned forward and kissed Carson gently. "We can argue about what to call it if we live long enough to worry about it."
"You know I'm no bargain - I'm a doctor, Radek. My life is my work. I'm always on call, waiting for the next emergency, which around here is practically all the time. A relationship with me would be catch as catch can, grab a moment here, an hour there, late nights, early mornings. I could never put you first, before my patients." Carson looked at him earnestly, eyes searching his face for what, Radek didn't know.
"Are you joking, Carson? I work for Rodney McKay - I will probably run into you at the door just before dawn, either coming or going," Radek laughed, then sobered. "We do not know what will happen, or how long we may have. What we cannot have in quantity, we will just have to make up for… in quality."
Carson must have found whatever he was looking for, because this time it was he who leaned in and kissed Radek, and did not withdraw. Instead, he shifted closer, freeing his hands and sliding them under Radek's jaw and back to tangle in his hair. Radek felt as much as heard Carson's groan, even as his own escaped around Carson's questing tongue. Radek's own hands went around Carson's waist.
Radek stood and drew Carson up with him, still enjoying a kiss that seemed like it was never going to end. This didn't upset Radek too badly - Carson kissed like a drowning man looking for air, and tasted of tea and the liquor. When they finally parted lips, Radek was delighted by the dazed look on his partner's face.
Radek slipped his hands up under Carson's shirt and smiled inwardly at the shiver it drew out of him. "I want to make love to you, Carson - to be inside you. Yes?" He nibbled along the perfect ears as he whispered the request.
"Oh God, yes!" Carson
said, almost wheezing the response as he grabbed Radek's shirttail and began to raise it over his head. "I want you to fuck me, Radek. I want to feel it for a week when we're done." He grinned as he threw the shirt onto the chair behind them, and reached for Radek's belt. Eagerly, clumsily, they stripped each other, not caring where the clothing wound up in their haste to satisfy their skin hunger.
************
Radek lay next to Carson, listening to his breathing slowly even out as he went deeper into sleep. Sweat still glistened on his back in the dim light from the window, and Radek reached out to collect a small drop on his finger. Bringing it to his lips, salt and Carson overwhelmed his senses. He savored each sensation, committing them to recall as if wrapping tissue paper around his grandmother's china cups. Every moment of the evening was an heirloom, to be cherished and preserved in his memory.
As he'd prepared Carson with lube and fingers, he'd finally heard what he had wanted for so long. His own name, said like a prayer to heaven in supplication of fulfillment, in that wonderful, magical voice. Sliding into Carson like a hand fitting a glove, it was repeated. This memory he would not put away for contemplation. This one he would hang on his heart and use as a talisman. It would remind him that their fate lay in his hands, his and the rest of the scientists.
In a little while, he would kiss Carson gently and find his clothes, then go back to his room to clean up and begin his day. Rodney was no doubt already there and wondering why Radek wasn't. The Wraith were on their way, and if they were to have any chance at all at survival, they needed to get busy making miracles.
But whether they had two weeks, two years, or two centuries, Radek knew he'd finally found someone he could call home. And if that wasn't a miracle, he didn't know what was.