Title: Balancing Blue and Gold
Author:
moonlettucePairing: Sheppard/McKay
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: Very slight ones for The Return
Recipient:
yin_againAuthor Notes:
yin_again asked for: McKay/Sheppard, McKay/Sheppard/OMC, porn, rimming, light bondage, action/adventure, obscure crossover. I hit half of them. Hope you enjoy, and Merry Christmas.
John Sheppard ignored the concerned look Elizabeth gave him as he left her office, the throb in his upper arm beating with each step. Beckett had stitched the knife wound up, admonishing him to be more careful in future, before he'd packed John off to debrief Elizabeth, before John had left the infirmary carefully not looking at the figure sitting on the other bed.
It was meant to be easy. They were meant to be good people. Slightly more technologically advanced than the Athosians, but willing to trade, Teyla had told them. And then Elizabeth had asked what went wrong.
It was about McKay, he'd said. They wanted to keep him, he'd said. They'd seen a scientist in a world full of equipment that needed fixing, and decided they needed him more than Atlantis did.
"They wanted to keep him," John said. "And I wasn't going to let them."
He didn't tell her the rest of it. Of strange hands running over McKay's arm as they tell John they'll be careful with him, that he'll be looked after. Didn't tell her about the way blue eyes had met his, hand over McKay's his mouth stopping the words John knew were trying to escape. Didn't tell her how apprehension met with annoyance, with Don't you dare leave me here with these Neanderthals. Didn't tell her how McKay's eyes widened as the hand on his arm moved lower, circling McKay's wrist like a lover.
Scientist. Prize. Possession. Rodney.
And if John's mind kept supplying him with images of a hotel room, of a different set of fingers circling Rodney's wrist, well, then, he left before he could tell Elizabeth that, either.
*
People nodded at him, smiled as he passed them, but blue merged into black merged into another faceless corridor ahead of him. Beckett had told him to rest, and if he'd thought he could sleep, John would have considered it, but the tremors driving their way through him weren't conducive to being still. He needed something to bleed out the excess inside him, something to burn out the images from his mind and drown the voice murmuring his name.
The transporter dropped him near his quarters. All he needed was five minutes to change into something more suitable and then the entire day could disappear in the pounding of feet and the rush of blood through his body. Five minutes, he thought as the door to his quarters opened, and then he'd be gone for the night, lost to the twists and curves of the city that only he knew.
At least, he would have been if Rodney hadn't already been waiting for him, jacket thrown over a chair and pacing like all the energy was finally spilling out of him, and John is thrown back to Ash Springs. Back to a non-descript hotel room, to having just lost his home and needing anything, anyone - Rodney - to ground him in a world that wasn't his any more.
"What happened back there?" Rodney asked, as soon as the door shut behind John.
"They were going to keep you on the planet," John replied, knowing that wasn't the question Rodney was asking.
"I know that!" Rodney snapped. "After all, I was the one standing there being fondled by Mr Hygiene."
John felt his fingers clench and could almost hear the crunch of bone.
"What I meant was--" Rodney turned away. "You know what I meant, Sheppard. What happened?"
Only John didn't think he could answer. All he remembered was a hand that wasn't his wrapped around Rodney's wrist. The rest of it was drowned out in fingers slick with blood and the four of them running back to the 'jumper. Drowned out in red and speed and the heat of Rodney gasping his name.
The silence carried the sound of the ocean to them, and John wondered what else there was to say before Rodney glanced at him, legs carrying him back and forth across John's floor.
"You watch me." Because if Rodney would notice anything it would be that.
John just nodded, feeling like he did that time his older sister caught him spying on her and her boyfriend. Only, he'd fucked this man in front of him, so surely that entitled John to watch him as well.
"Do you know how hard it is?" Rodney continued. "Being there and knowing your eyes are on me all the time?" Rodney rubbed at his wrist, thumb moving in careless patterns. "We agreed we wouldn't," he said. "You agreed we wouldn't and now you don't get to choose." Rodney stopped pacing and looked at him. "Damn it, John, you don't get to choose."
Only it hadn't been just him who had stopped it. One night. That was what they had said, what both of them had agreed. One night. One night that wouldn't change anything. John wondered which of them had realised the lie first.
John dropped his gaze from Rodney's, unable to look at the blue staring back at him. He watched Rodney's thumb continue to rub circles over his skin, and the only thought in John's head was that he wanted to chase it with his tongue. Wanted to hold Rodney down and push into the tight heat that had done nothing but welcome him. Wanted to reach out and take, with nothing to stop him but the words from Rodney's mouth. No and stop and a hundred other words he'd heard Rodney say to everyone else but him.
He wondered if Rodney would let him. Wondered if he'd say anything if John stretched his arms over his head and tied his wrists. John's dick throbbed, like having Rodney tied and spread beneath him was the best idea he'd ever had. He moved forward, closing the distance between them, hard dick twitching as Rodney's eyes widened, soft smirk crossing his lips like he knew John wouldn't be able to stay away after that first time, like he knew all it would take was the littlest thing to send them spiralling back together.
Running his fingers through Rodney's hair, John pulled him closer and fused their mouths together, Rodney opening up under him.
Rodney pulled back slightly after a few moments. "John."
Curling his hand around the back of Rodney's neck, John pressed forward, swallowing the murmur. Keeping his lips on Rodney's, John manoeuvred them across the floor, pushing Rodney back until his legs hit the bed behind them. With a final brush of his fingers across the soft hair on Rodney's neck, John moved his hands, skimming them under Rodney's t-shirt and feeling the warm skin. He broke the kiss, laying a trail of butterfly-light touches across Rodney's cheek.
"I wanna fuck you," John whispered, grabbing Rodney's earlobe in his teeth and tugging gently. Wanted it since he'd stepped into his quarters and saw Rodney there, all contained energy and needful want. Wanted it since they'd stepped foot back on Atlantis. Wanted it since he'd sat down in a chair and the entire universe had opened up for him. His cock twitched, pulsing with the memory of what it felt like to be buried in that heat.
"Jesus, yes." Rodney's voice was thick, heavy.
John grinned and stepped back, pushing Rodney lightly and watching as the other man dropped to sit on the bed. John didn't give Rodney any time before he straddled him, jacket rubbing against Rodney's t-shirt as he leant forward.
Rodney reached for him, fingertips skimming the waistband of John's BDUs for a bare second before John's fingers wrapped around his wrists like bracelets. John's dick jerked as he looked down, remembering what else he wanted to wrap around Rodney's wrists. Moving slowly, John lifted Rodney's arms above his head, pushed him back slightly as he pressed them to the bed so Rodney is laid out beneath him.
"Don't move." The words were soft, demand inside a whisper.
Rodney just looked at him, not moving as John quickly let go of his wrists to pull his t-shirt over his head, world blanking into darkness for a brief second. He held the t-shirt between his teeth as his fingers went back to Rodney's wrists, moving them to the metal pole at the head of the bed. His eyes stayed locked on Rodney's as John took the shirt and wrapped it around Rodney's wrists, around the bed. The label inside declaring 'USAF' peaked out, reminding John that there was a life outside of his quarters, one that could come crashing in at any moment.
Rodney tugged at the bonds lightly, breath hitching as John leant down and took his lower lip in his teeth, nipping it once before letting go.
Standing up, John stripped the lower half of Rodney's clothes off, so used to his own BDUs that it was more than easy to get Rodney out of his. He looked down at Rodney, half naked and stretched out on the bed, bound and wanting and still testing the bonds that held him. Sitting on the bed, John ran a finger up Rodney's leg, soft hair moving under the touch. Part of him was more than tempted to get the knife that was in one of the drawers and cut the rest of Rodney's clothes off; wanted to see the wide blue eyes when the blade touched Rodney's skin, hard and sharp and marking Rodney as his.
"John." Rodney's gaze was on John's face, fingers clenching and unclenching above him.
John didn't answer. He reached out, running a finger over Rodney's lips. Once, twice and then the lips parted and John's finger slid inside, Rodney's tongue flicking over the tip. John's cock throbbed with each swipe of Rodney's tongue and before he could think he'd pulled away, moving to straddle Rodney.
"I want you," John said, his fingers moving over Rodney's nipples, pinching and rolling.
Rodney arched up, and even through the BDUs he was still wearing, John could feel the heat from the hard cock pressing against his ass. "I'm not-- going anywhere." The words broke in the middle causing John to smile as Rodney's body jerked under him.
John bent over, moving backwards as he kissed a trail down Rodney's stomach, pausing as he reached Rodney's cock.
"Yes, please, now," Rodney begged, trying to lift his hips even though his legs were still pinned by John's weight.
"Did you want something?" John teased, dipping his head and lightly blowing across the hard cock before he kissed the top of Rodney's thigh, ignoring the groaned plea that questioned his parentage.
"I hate you," came the reply, the way Rodney's body was straining towards him giving lie to the words.
John just grinned, teeth nipping at Rodney's thigh as he settled between the outstretched legs, hands cupping under Rodney's knees and opening him, displaying him. A glance at Rodney before he moved, head lowering.
"John, what-- oh holy fuck--"
Because Rodney realised what John was going to do. Realised it when John's hands lifted him, spread him open.
"Fuck, fuck, yes, please, John--"
Because this was the one thing he never got to do back in Ash Springs. He'd sucked Rodney and fucked him, but he still didn't know how he tasted. John's tongue darted out, sweeping between Rodney's ass cheeks and coming back with sharp and there and everything else Rodney was. He flicked at the puckered flesh, slapping Rodney's thigh as legs clamped hard around his head. He licked over and over, saliva making the way slick as he rolled his tongue and pressed inside.
The noise from Rodney was wordless, all sound and motion and driving want as the tight flesh loosened slightly under John's tongue. He stayed there for a moment, breathing musk and heat and Rodney before he moved, pulling back and, leaning over in order to get to the bedside cabinet before the first word of protest could even escape from Rodney's mouth.
The lube was cold as John poured it onto his fingers, not waiting until it warmed before he pressed slippery digits into Rodney, laughing at the jump Rodney gave.
"Bastard," Rodney gasped the complaint, but the word had no anger, no heat. No heat, because it was all pooled in Rodney's body, all pooled around John's fingers.
John laughed and crooked his fingers, brushing them over the small nub he could feel and Rodney's body clamped down around him in a shudder.
"Oh god, please--"
But the begging was unnecessary because John's fingers were already pulling out of Rodney, the stretching perfunctory at best because John wanted -- needed -- to be in him. He opened his BDUs with shaking fingers, yanking them and his boxers down just enough to free his straining cock. He fumbled with the lubricant, squeezing more onto his fingers before he slicked his hard cock, hissing as the cool gel spread over his heated flesh.
"Now, please, now." The mantra fell from Rodney's lips as John lifted his legs over his shoulders. Guiding his cock to the entrance to Rodney's body, John shuddered as he slid inside in one steady thrust, all tight and heat and want, and, oh god, how could he have ever thought he'd be able to give this up once he knew?
"Oh fuck!" Rodney arched up as John bottomed out, his balls slapping against Rodney's skin.
John held still, head dropped and fine tremors running up his arms as he fought to control himself, fighting against the urge to drive into the body rippling around him. "Rodney, I need--"
"Yes, yes, anything--" But the reply was too quick, too unthinking.
John lifted his head, meeting a ring of blue around a sea of black, heavy arousal and need mirroring his own. "I--"
"Anything, John," Rodney repeated. "Anything."
John nodded. He needed and Rodney was offering and so John took.
Pulling back so only the head of his cock was seated in Rodney, John covered Rodney's hands with his own and twined their fingers together, the t-shirt holding Rodney's wrists rubbing against John's skin. Lowering his head, he covered Rodney's mouth with his own and then drove forward, swallowing the gasp of air that came from Rodney's lips.
John moved without thought, his entire being focussed on moving into the body welcoming him, focused on the Rodney, all heat and want and need and there.
Rodney's fingers flexed, tightening on John's as he moved up to meet each thrust, litany of need and desire coming from his lips.
Beads of sweat ran down John's back and curved over his side, mixing in with the trail of pre-come Rodney's cock left on both their stomachs as it was trapped between them. He tried to focus on the words Rodney was saying, but couldn't. Couldn't hear anything beyond the pleading tone and needful gasps begging John for faster, harder, more. And John gave it. Moved harder, moved faster. Gave his entire being until Rodney stiffened beneath him, scream and pool of blossoming warmth between them signalling he'd come without John even needing to touch him.
Rodney's body went limp beneath him and John's hips snapped forward. Once, twice, and the tremors still rippling through Rodney's body pulled John's orgasm from him. Rodney's legs slid from John's shoulders as he slumped forward, the racing beat of Rodney's heart under his cheek a soft cadence against John's softening cock slipping from Rodney's body.
"Ow," Rodney muttered.
John lifted his head, concerned. "Rodney?"
"Ow, heavy," Rodney explained further. "And also: hands."
A smile crossed John's lips as he moved to the side, barely enough energy left in his body to complete even that simple task. "Too tired to untie you," he murmured. "I'll do it in the morning." His smile widened at the chocked off splutter that came from Rodney, and he lethargically lifted an arm to tug at the t-shirt holding Rodney to the bed.
Tired satiation and fingers that wouldn't quite do what John wanted them do meant that it took a little longer than Rodney was happy with, but Rodney was finally free, bracelets of red marking his wrists where he'd pulled against John's thrusts. Capturing Rodney's hand, John brought it to his lips and laid kisses around the wrist.
"You're not going to wake up later and say we shouldn't do this again, are you?" Rodney murmured.
"No," John replied. Because he'd tried that. Tried it back in another galaxy and too many miles to count away, and it hadn't worked then, either. Because even if John knew he shouldn't touch Rodney, shouldn't want Rodney, he also knew there was no way he could stop himself. Not now, not ever
"Good. Because I'd hate to have to smack some sense into you."
"I'd like to see you try, McKay."
"Oh, I would," Rodney promised. "I'd come after you, John Sheppard."
Yeah, John thought, you would, but you'll never need to, and he smiled, and pulled Rodney closer.
Finis