I really wish I could be a snarky bitch to total strangers

[sgda]

Because I would respond to this message on OKCupid:

how are u sexy;)

With this:

How am I sexy?  Let me count the ways. 
I speak in complete sentences.
I fully spell three letter words.
I use the plentiful variety of punctuation available to me.  For purposes other than emoticons.  Though I will concede that I am apparently not above sentence fragments.

Comments

[bettyboop84]

hahaha
that totally made me choke on my tea.
worth it though.

[roxy_fondue]

your response is beyond fabulous.

[snoopturtle]

that is such an awesome response.

[laurasia]

ha ha ha ha ha!

[laurasia]

ps: lol u r 2 funny :P

[sgda]

LOL. But I'm deducting two points for your proper use of a colon. `-)

[vanderwaals]

hahahaha