Comments | sgda: Making Milestones out of Molehills

sgda

Making Milestones out of Molehills

Nov 15, 2009 14:16

I'm sure I've written in the past about my Judge's annual reunion dinner. Every year all his past clerks (22 years' worth now!) are invited to gather together to catch up with each other and check in with the Judge. It's a really nice thing to do every year, and it's awesome to have the opportunity to maintain our connection to the Judge. It ( Read more... )

looker

Comments 5

laurasia November 16 2009, 17:21:52 UTC

Yay! I'm glad that you triumphed over the judge's dinner this year!

Do you talk at all about the future together? Not necessarily about the future of your relationship specifically, but general stuff like if he has any desire to get married and/or have kids eventually?

sgda December 2 2009, 21:37:31 UTC

No. Which is why I'm like, Am I crazy or is he? When we broke up/got back together in July I made clear that I want to get married. But he is s-l-o-w at these things. He did say something on our long car trip about "the course of our relationship," which is honestly the first I've heard that he sees our relationship as lasting longer than tomorrow!

But at the same time, he is totally there in the moment. It's not that he's not fully committed to right now, it's just that we don't discuss how long "right now" will last.

I go back and forth on being bothered by this. For the most part I know that he cares about me and I'm a big part of his life, so I try to enjoy it instead of worrying. Which is not in my nature. `-)

demiraks_world December 2 2009, 18:00:13 UTC

I'm catching up!!

I"m glad things are still going well for you. In my relationship, I am the Looker. I resist and resist and then I'll finally settle on an idea and run with it until the next things comes along and I freak out again.

Dating at "our" age is hard - I feel like I'm under such time constraints that I can't just enjoy where things go, I need to know RIGHT NOW how things are going to end up because I just don't feel like I have time to waste. I'm sure you have some of those same feelings. Its hard to balance now and future.

Brandon's basically said he would marry me and he's talked about "our" kids and living together and stuff. It's what I've always dreamed up, but now that it's potentially happening it's SCARY AS HELL.

So, um....I think it's ok to gently nudge the Looker, but don't nudge too hard!

sgda December 2 2009, 21:39:46 UTC

"Dating at "our" age is hard - I feel like I'm under such time constraints that I can't just enjoy where things go, I need to know RIGHT NOW how things are going to end up because I just don't feel like I have time to waste."

Tell me about it, sister. And I'm like 5 years older than you (or somewhere thereabouts)! My eggs expired back in August when I turned 35 and I'm living on borrowed time as it is if I want to have kids. Ugh.

I have been working on finding the right level of "nudge." Sometimes I hit it, sometimes I go too far. He lets me know when I have freaked him out, but he hasn't bolted yet so hopefully I'm doing ok.

demiraks_world December 2 2009, 21:42:50 UTC

It sounds like you're doing ok!