(Untitled)

[seriously_grey]

Meredith is having one of those days that you find yourself annoyed for no reason. The kind where every little thing sets you off, nothing goes right, and you just want to scream.

Repeatedly.

So, after already being in a completely rotten mood and then having a day at work from hell, finding a stain on her favorite shirt, locking her keys in her

Comments

[dr_ilovedogs]

It's not weird at all for Derek to come home and find Meredith already there. It's not frequent, but she does get off shift before him on occasion

[seriously_grey]

Ignoring both the spoon and Derek, she scoops out another bite with her finger just for the sake of doing so and eats it, only then turning her attention to the piece of silverware once the mouthful is swallowed and gone.

She glares at the utensil momentarily, as though it is to blame for not only her entire day but for forgetting to grab one as well before finally taking it from his hand.

"I'm cranky," she says, offering only that as explanation as she settles back against the cushions and stabs the spoon into the ice cream.

[dr_ilovedogs]

"I see," he says carefully, deciding that neutrality is his best bet until he knows what's wrong.

He leans back onto the couch, his hand slipping to her thigh and massaging small circles into the tight muscle there, a silent offering to do her back if she wants him to.

[seriously_grey]

Her expectation was that he'd ask her why and it surprises her that he doesn't.

She can't decide whether she is glad about that or if the fact he didn't only annoys her further. It doesn't really matter that she probably wouldn't have told him anyway.

Not even so much as giving his hand a glance, she drives the spoon back into the tub with enough force that she almost knocks it out of her hand.

[seriously_grey]

"I never thought I wanted kids," she says thoughtfully. "I never thought I wanted a lot of things, actually."

"And before, last time, when the possibility was there, I was really freaked out at first, for a lot of reasons, actually. All of them having everything to do with me, and nothing to do with you."

Meredith smiles a little at his smile, finding in it her will to continue.

"But I kind of got used to the idea and then I even started to like it. The thought of having a family with you, watching you be a dad and me..."

She looks down. "I wanted that. Even if the timing was bad. I wanted it. And then it ended up that I wasn't, and I was upset and I projected that want - mine - onto you in the process and made such a mess of it all that I didn't even want to bring it up again. Ever."

[dr_ilovedogs]

He lets out a quiet sound, more of an exhale of air than a laugh, and finds her hand, tangling his fingers around hers.

"I didn't want to bring it up either," he admits.

"But like I said, it's something I want but not something I have to have. As long as you're happy-- I just need you to be happy. Anything that threatens that isn't even remotely worth it."

[seriously_grey]

"It doesn't threaten my happiness," she promises quietly, squeezing his hand.

"I won't lie and say it isn't a little overwhelming, but I think that's probably a pretty generic feeling for anyone considering parenthood."

"So," she murmurs a few moments later, her green eyes lighting up from the soft smile on her lips. Leaning in, she closes the tiny space between them as she nuzzles her nose against his face.

"This seems to be something that you and I both want...eventually."

"So, what do you think?" she asks shyly, kissing his cheek and then pulling away just enough to look in his eyes. Her heart is practically bursting with love for him.

"Want to maybe...try for a baby someday?"

[dr_ilovedogs]

He stares at her, speechless for a moment as he tries to reconcile the fact that not too long ago she was sitting on the couch, eating ice cream viciously off her finger and now she's in his lap asking him if one day he might want to have a child with her.

It's just. . . difficult to comprehend.

But as he slowly processes her words-- and how can he not trust them? The look on her face is proof enough that she means them-- his soft smile shifts into something else, something bigger and filled with awe.

"Someday," he manages around the lump in his throat as his hands come up to gently bring her face closer to his.

"Yes."

[dr_ilovedogs]

It's not like he can dispute that logic since it's pretty much his own every day. But still, his fingers are itching to touch her and even though he's physically spent, mentally he feels like he should be giving as good as he got and it's hard for him to not reciprocate.

Unless. . .

"Fine," he sighs, bringing the back of his hand up to brush against the side of her breast. He decides he likes how soft it is and turns his hand to mimic the motion with his fingertips.

"But that means I get a freebie too. One night, I get to pleasure you and you don't get to make sad-Meredith eyes at me until I let you touch me back."

[seriously_grey]

She snorts, not sure if she's more amused by his "sad-Meredith eyes" comment or the fact that he just blatantly disregarded her whole 'no need for reciprocation' spiel, even if he did bump it to another night.

His compromise.

"Fine," she sighs, too, mimicking his tone and smirking all the while. There's no point in arguing it anyway, but seriously?

Why would she?

"You get a freebie too."

[dr_ilovedogs]

His hand slips up from her breast to cup her face, gently tilting it up so he can look at her.

"Thank you," he smiles and he means for everything, not just for agreeing with him. After all, she came home from a crappy day and then proceeded to rock his world, first with their discussion earlier and then with some pretty mind-blowing sex. It still doesn't seem to balance out in his mind.

"Are you sure I can't do anything for you now though? You don't want dinner or a back rub or anything?"

[seriously_grey]

"Maybe dinner in a bit," she smiles. She's not all that hungry right now but maybe she will be in a little while. Besides, she knows it will make him happy if Ben & Jerry's is just the dessert she had before dinner instead of being dinner.

"But for right now, you holding me is good."