It's taken me a while to read this but I'll leave what comments I can.
I never knew his mother was associated with demons. I do however, like her name. Her name is a good represenation of her personality and her self sacrifice of her child, which I'm assuming right now is Shade.
Your beginning is written very well, as in no grammar errors. I expected a bit more sadness from Celeste, however, and was just a wee bit disappointed when I did not see her cry as she was running. I did like that you went a little into her thoughts. I hope she does become a main character later. ;p
I doubt anyone knows about Shade's parentage - certainly no one has ever asked, and he doesn't talk about it much. He also wouldn't know much about them anyway himself. Sadly Celeste won't be a main character in the book, cause she'll be dead when it starts. As for the more emotion, I'll look into that part of your comment and I might add more in if I get to redoing things.
Aww, phooey. She would have been a good character later on.
And I know how it feels when no one comments, or they just say "It's good." That makes me want to thrust that paper/text/link at them again and say "HERE, TELL ME SOMETHING!!" ;p Luckily, my man always does, but tries to help in other ways too.
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I never knew his mother was associated with demons. I do however, like her name. Her name is a good represenation of her personality and her self sacrifice of her child, which I'm assuming right now is Shade.
Your beginning is written very well, as in no grammar errors. I expected a bit more sadness from Celeste, however, and was just a wee bit disappointed when I did not see her cry as she was running. I did like that you went a little into her thoughts. I hope she does become a main character later. ;p
Nice start, Shade.
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I doubt anyone knows about Shade's parentage - certainly no one has ever asked, and he doesn't talk about it much. He also wouldn't know much about them anyway himself. Sadly Celeste won't be a main character in the book, cause she'll be dead when it starts. As for the more emotion, I'll look into that part of your comment and I might add more in if I get to redoing things.
Reply
And I know how it feels when no one comments, or they just say "It's good." That makes me want to thrust that paper/text/link at them again and say "HERE, TELL ME SOMETHING!!" ;p Luckily, my man always does, but tries to help in other ways too.
Reply
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