We'll just put this under a cut
I witnessed a manual fecal disimpaction the other day ("I" being the fictional character about whom I write in first person at the fictional hospital in which I set my tales).
Yes, it's as disgusting as it sounds. Let's break that down word-by-word so we all know exactly what that phrase means:
Of course "manual" is an easy one. It's an adjective and means "by hand". Quite literally, in this case.
Skipping to the end, "disimpaction" is also surprisingly straight-foreword. "Impacted" and "compacted" are synonyms, and both imply a mass that's become more dense than it would be normally, perhaps a fluid or plastic solid that has become a rigid solid. To "disimpact", a verb, therefore is to reverse the change in density and return the mass to a state more akin to it's normal or expected condition.
That leaves us with "fecal". For those unfamiliar with this term it's best explained through the use of synonyms: chips, crap, droppings, excrement, hockey, leavings, manure, mess, poo, poop, poo-poo, scat, soil, shit, turds...get the idea? Although it could be argued that feces can be found anywhere in the alimentary canal in it's most common, semi-solid form it's found almost exclusively in the most distal part of the gastrointestinal tract, known as the rectum. This being a phrase rather than a sentence there doesn't have to be a subject, but "fecal" in this usage is the object. The noun upon which the verb is acting.
So, let's put this all together, shall we? What we have here is fecal material (you remember that one, right?) that is implied to have become impacted and is being broken down through the use of that most miraculous of tools: the human hand!
Go ahead. I know that you all feel the sudden urge to wash your hands. I'll be here when you get back. No need to wear gloves from this point on unless you really want to.
Alright, so what we had was a patient with a bowel obstruction so severe that it caused a part of the bowel to lose circulation and require surgical intervention. The fecal impaction was just a bonus.
After the procedure was completed but before the patient was awakened (thankfully for the patient) a young female resident was tasked with disimpacting the mass owing to the fact that she simply had the smallest hands in the room (again, thankfully for the patient).
She had retrieved two handfulls and was going back for a third when the muse struck me and I said aloud to the surgeon (alright I confess, I said it to everyone in the room), "This is just a reminder that 'fist' can in fact be a verb."
I admit that I was surprised at how many people in the room laughed at that joke. I was intrigued that it was all the male team members.
With a profoundly perplexed expression on her young face the resident looked at each of us in turn, and wrist deep in rectum she said, "I don't get it."
Yes, it's as disgusting as it sounds. Let's break that down word-by-word so we all know exactly what that phrase means:
Of course "manual" is an easy one. It's an adjective and means "by hand". Quite literally, in this case.
Skipping to the end, "disimpaction" is also surprisingly straight-foreword. "Impacted" and "compacted" are synonyms, and both imply a mass that's become more dense than it would be normally, perhaps a fluid or plastic solid that has become a rigid solid. To "disimpact", a verb, therefore is to reverse the change in density and return the mass to a state more akin to it's normal or expected condition.
That leaves us with "fecal". For those unfamiliar with this term it's best explained through the use of synonyms: chips, crap, droppings, excrement, hockey, leavings, manure, mess, poo, poop, poo-poo, scat, soil, shit, turds...get the idea? Although it could be argued that feces can be found anywhere in the alimentary canal in it's most common, semi-solid form it's found almost exclusively in the most distal part of the gastrointestinal tract, known as the rectum. This being a phrase rather than a sentence there doesn't have to be a subject, but "fecal" in this usage is the object. The noun upon which the verb is acting.
So, let's put this all together, shall we? What we have here is fecal material (you remember that one, right?) that is implied to have become impacted and is being broken down through the use of that most miraculous of tools: the human hand!
Go ahead. I know that you all feel the sudden urge to wash your hands. I'll be here when you get back. No need to wear gloves from this point on unless you really want to.
Alright, so what we had was a patient with a bowel obstruction so severe that it caused a part of the bowel to lose circulation and require surgical intervention. The fecal impaction was just a bonus.
After the procedure was completed but before the patient was awakened (thankfully for the patient) a young female resident was tasked with disimpacting the mass owing to the fact that she simply had the smallest hands in the room (again, thankfully for the patient).
She had retrieved two handfulls and was going back for a third when the muse struck me and I said aloud to the surgeon (alright I confess, I said it to everyone in the room), "This is just a reminder that 'fist' can in fact be a verb."
I admit that I was surprised at how many people in the room laughed at that joke. I was intrigued that it was all the male team members.
With a profoundly perplexed expression on her young face the resident looked at each of us in turn, and wrist deep in rectum she said, "I don't get it."