Among the Techno-mages
[not visible to other muses]
"Anna."
She stirred, drawing away from the probes and the relays. She came back to herself, to her body curled upon the chair, stiff from the hours she had sat so still. "Hello, Galen," she said without turning.
"Are you alright?"
Anna sighed, slowly working a painful cramp out of her foot. "It's complicated."
From the corner of her eye she saw Galen nod. "The Circle asked me to speak with you. They seemed certain you would know why."
Anna sighed again. Yes, she knew why, alright. "You're a hypocrite, did you know that?"
"So I've been told." Galen smiled wryly. "Yes, I understand what you are doing, and why, but the Circle-" The smile faded. "You got involved, Anna."
"So did you," she shot back. "Because you had to. Because someone had to. How is this any different?"
"They are afraid, Anna. The things that are out there-"
"I know," Anna said. She ran her fingers through her hair, grasped her skull as if in frustration. "Have you seen this?" She jerked her chin towards the screen.
"I've seen it."
"Then you understand why I had to do it. They needed help; they still need it."
"I know," Galen replied. "But... I have to admit that I don't like this, either."
Her head snapped around, and she shot him a cool look. "Oh, really?"
"Yes." Galen paused. "You have come a long way, Anna. But the Shadows are there, and Morden is there. If they ever learn-"
"They won't," Anna said. "I promise you that."
"You've spoken to John," Galen said.
She nodded slowly. "I know I probably shouldn't have done that, but I had to... I just had to reach him, just once..."
"You didn't tell him?" Galen asked.
"No. How could I? Things are complicated enough... I told him I was dead, and not-dead, and haunting a 21st century laptop computer. He probably thinks I'm half mad, but I'm not sure he isn't right..." Anna shrugged, and looked up at him. "He needed to know as much as I could tell him."
"You came very close to..." Galen shook his head, and rested a hand on her shoulder. "You came very close. But you didn't- quite- cross the line. He'll never know."
"No," Anna said, "he won't. It's better that way, and I know that. Especially since..."
"Yes?"
"Delenn's back."
"Since when?" Galen asked, and Anna felt his grip on her shoulder tighten.
"Yesterday," Anna whispered. "She- threatened me."
Galen laughed quietly. "Did she, now."
"I can't really blame her," Anna said. "The last time we...met, she... knew what I was. She has no reason to think-"
"That, too, will trouble the Circle," Galen said.
"Everything troubles the Circle. I'm going to try and avoid her as much as I can. As long as she doesn't cause me any trouble, as long as she doesn't hurt John..." Anna laughed. "Listen to me, would you? I sound almost exactly like her."
"Jealous?" Galen inquired.
Anna sighed. "A little," she admitted. "I knew she existed, obviously, but that's not the same at all as coming face-to-face, so to speak, with Delenn. She loves him; that much I can tell you. And he loves her, it's just... I regret what I lost, Galen- but I lost it a long time ago. All I can do is go on, and be content with what I have."
"And are you?"
Anna smiled. "Yes." She reached up to cover his hand with hers. "But you can tell the Circle, from me, that I won't stop. Someone has to keep an eye on things out there. And if I have information that will help them, I am going to find a way to get it to them."
"That, I knew already, and I told them as much on my way here. You may wish to be a little more circumspect about it, though."
"Oh?" Anna asked. "You don't mean-"
"I do, yes," Galen said. "Get in contact with Alwyn; he'll see to passing along what they need to know."
"No," she said.
"Anna-"
"No, Galen. The Shadows and the Vorlons would be bad enough, but there's more. They have the One Ring, and if these things don't concern us, I don't know what the hell does!"
Galen appeared taken aback. "The- One Ring?"
"Yes. Which reminds me; I need to borrow your copy of The Lord of the Rings."
Galen sighed. "I'm sure they won't like that, either."
"Do you care?" Anna asked. Then, "Besides, it's only a book. The Circle can't go around objecting to books, now can they?"
Galen smiled. "They can try. I'll get it for you."
"Thank you," Anna said.
"You do realize, of course, that if you keep this up, they are going to censure you."
Anna actually grinned. "Oh, now that's a laugh. Let them- I would be honored to join such august company... Honestly, Galen, believe it or not, I do know what I'm doing."
"I do believe you. My point was that the others may not."
Anna shook her head. "No, they understand, Galen. They really do. They can't afford to admit it, but they need me- need both of us, and for not dissimilar reasons."
"Just- be careful, alright?"
Anna smiled. "Always."
Galen nodded. "Good. I suppose you want to get back to work..."
Anna shrugged. "I could, but I don't have to. What's going on out there?"
"The usual. Drunken revelry, probe-spitting contests, a bit of storytelling..."
"Really?" Anna asked.
"Athena knows quite a bit about the old stories and legends, you know," Galen said.
Anna smiled. "Does she, now?"
"So she has always said. Why don't you ask her?"
"You know," Anna replied, "I think I will."
"Anna."
She stirred, drawing away from the probes and the relays. She came back to herself, to her body curled upon the chair, stiff from the hours she had sat so still. "Hello, Galen," she said without turning.
"Are you alright?"
Anna sighed, slowly working a painful cramp out of her foot. "It's complicated."
From the corner of her eye she saw Galen nod. "The Circle asked me to speak with you. They seemed certain you would know why."
Anna sighed again. Yes, she knew why, alright. "You're a hypocrite, did you know that?"
"So I've been told." Galen smiled wryly. "Yes, I understand what you are doing, and why, but the Circle-" The smile faded. "You got involved, Anna."
"So did you," she shot back. "Because you had to. Because someone had to. How is this any different?"
"They are afraid, Anna. The things that are out there-"
"I know," Anna said. She ran her fingers through her hair, grasped her skull as if in frustration. "Have you seen this?" She jerked her chin towards the screen.
"I've seen it."
"Then you understand why I had to do it. They needed help; they still need it."
"I know," Galen replied. "But... I have to admit that I don't like this, either."
Her head snapped around, and she shot him a cool look. "Oh, really?"
"Yes." Galen paused. "You have come a long way, Anna. But the Shadows are there, and Morden is there. If they ever learn-"
"They won't," Anna said. "I promise you that."
"You've spoken to John," Galen said.
She nodded slowly. "I know I probably shouldn't have done that, but I had to... I just had to reach him, just once..."
"You didn't tell him?" Galen asked.
"No. How could I? Things are complicated enough... I told him I was dead, and not-dead, and haunting a 21st century laptop computer. He probably thinks I'm half mad, but I'm not sure he isn't right..." Anna shrugged, and looked up at him. "He needed to know as much as I could tell him."
"You came very close to..." Galen shook his head, and rested a hand on her shoulder. "You came very close. But you didn't- quite- cross the line. He'll never know."
"No," Anna said, "he won't. It's better that way, and I know that. Especially since..."
"Yes?"
"Delenn's back."
"Since when?" Galen asked, and Anna felt his grip on her shoulder tighten.
"Yesterday," Anna whispered. "She- threatened me."
Galen laughed quietly. "Did she, now."
"I can't really blame her," Anna said. "The last time we...met, she... knew what I was. She has no reason to think-"
"That, too, will trouble the Circle," Galen said.
"Everything troubles the Circle. I'm going to try and avoid her as much as I can. As long as she doesn't cause me any trouble, as long as she doesn't hurt John..." Anna laughed. "Listen to me, would you? I sound almost exactly like her."
"Jealous?" Galen inquired.
Anna sighed. "A little," she admitted. "I knew she existed, obviously, but that's not the same at all as coming face-to-face, so to speak, with Delenn. She loves him; that much I can tell you. And he loves her, it's just... I regret what I lost, Galen- but I lost it a long time ago. All I can do is go on, and be content with what I have."
"And are you?"
Anna smiled. "Yes." She reached up to cover his hand with hers. "But you can tell the Circle, from me, that I won't stop. Someone has to keep an eye on things out there. And if I have information that will help them, I am going to find a way to get it to them."
"That, I knew already, and I told them as much on my way here. You may wish to be a little more circumspect about it, though."
"Oh?" Anna asked. "You don't mean-"
"I do, yes," Galen said. "Get in contact with Alwyn; he'll see to passing along what they need to know."
"No," she said.
"Anna-"
"No, Galen. The Shadows and the Vorlons would be bad enough, but there's more. They have the One Ring, and if these things don't concern us, I don't know what the hell does!"
Galen appeared taken aback. "The- One Ring?"
"Yes. Which reminds me; I need to borrow your copy of The Lord of the Rings."
Galen sighed. "I'm sure they won't like that, either."
"Do you care?" Anna asked. Then, "Besides, it's only a book. The Circle can't go around objecting to books, now can they?"
Galen smiled. "They can try. I'll get it for you."
"Thank you," Anna said.
"You do realize, of course, that if you keep this up, they are going to censure you."
Anna actually grinned. "Oh, now that's a laugh. Let them- I would be honored to join such august company... Honestly, Galen, believe it or not, I do know what I'm doing."
"I do believe you. My point was that the others may not."
Anna shook her head. "No, they understand, Galen. They really do. They can't afford to admit it, but they need me- need both of us, and for not dissimilar reasons."
"Just- be careful, alright?"
Anna smiled. "Always."
Galen nodded. "Good. I suppose you want to get back to work..."
Anna shrugged. "I could, but I don't have to. What's going on out there?"
"The usual. Drunken revelry, probe-spitting contests, a bit of storytelling..."
"Really?" Anna asked.
"Athena knows quite a bit about the old stories and legends, you know," Galen said.
Anna smiled. "Does she, now?"
"So she has always said. Why don't you ask her?"
"You know," Anna replied, "I think I will."