Comments | shadow_chimera: Dilemma

shadow_chimera

Dilemma

Dec 31, 2009 16:33

Is it better to:

Be in a place that you enjoy, with an atmosphere and area that makes you happy BUT that you don't know anyone in
OR
Be in a place that makes you kinda miserable BUT that you have a bunch of friends in?

Comments 5

bu_sama December 31 2009, 23:44:02 UTC

I would say number one. Be in a place that you enjoy and you will find people that you enjoy. You can always visit old friends and keep in contact, but if the place they live makes you miserable, go somewhere else! You'll be happier in the end, when you're living in a fantastic place with a group of people who are equally lovely.

jinxmurphy January 1 2010, 00:32:08 UTC

As someone who has been living in the second of those two options for about a year and a half, I would advise against it. Having friends is wonderful, but if the place itself is an oppressive force in your life, whenever you aren't just hanging out with people and completely in the moment, you won't be happy.

zoogeek January 1 2010, 02:19:31 UTC

As someone who went with #1 after college, it too has it's problems. Out here it was (and still is) stupidly hard to find gaming communities that aren't strict D&D or SCA based. There's a big RenFaire community, but we missed it this year with starting school. A lot of the groups that would be natural for us to join are just too underground out here. So, that's my only concern with moving to the place, and not going with the people.

However, I've found that communication with my friends has gotten easier and easier in the last two years. Way better than keeping up with people from high school.

snugbug42 January 1 2010, 18:56:03 UTC

guage the overall happiness- if the friendships aren't enough to overcome the misery, then overall you aren't happy. If you can be happy somewehere without knowing anyone there, then give it some time to make new friends, and it will be fantastic!

guardian852 January 1 2010, 21:05:35 UTC

After college, I went with the first choice and lived to regret it. I had a great deal of trouble making friends and I ended up in a place that make me miserable with no friends.

Still, the first choice remains the safer bet with the greater payoff. Once a place no longer works for you, I imagine that it's very difficult for that chance to reverse itself.