GRIEF...
is a interesting thing to deal with. Two nights ago a student from the downtown campus collapsed on the field while playing football. So quickly, without notice, or warning...his life ended. All day yesterday I spent at our residence hall on campus just being there for students as they either found out for the first time that their classmate had passed away, or helping students just cope with the fact that they will never be about to see their friend again. That they will never be able to hear him, smell him, or see his smile beyond the ones that are frozen in pictures that hung throughout the lobby. The hall was pretty quite for the most part. Students were moving slowly around like they were trapped in dreams. Hoping that their friend would walk through the door and joke with them to put them in a better mood.
Last night we had a gathering for the students in the hall to just come together in one room and talk. Talk about what they were feeling, ask questions about what happened, tell stories about their friends. And I was amazed at the openness and the way they open themselves up to share their thoughts with each other. The first student shared how he felt he and his friend had a big brother little brother relationship. He said that earlier on Tuesday afternoon, before the game, he and his friend had a conversation about dealing with death. The student that passed away had just the weekend before had two of his friends die and he was having difficulty dealing with their passing. The student that shared this story said that life is too short to not tell people you love that you love them, or to go to bed angry at a friend or a loved one because you may never get the chance to make that up...and it was the first time that they had both said to each other that they loved each others as brothers... then the night of...one of the brothers passed away. The student sharing the story said that the conversation was his friends way of saying goodbye to him. That was powerful...
The rest of the night continued like this, students sharing their favorite stories...or reading notes that they had written cause they weren't sure what to say...
Today there are big butcher sized paper taped to the walls of the residence hall with words and pictures of the student that passed away. He had positively impacted the life of so many of his friends and the students in the hall in such a short time. I can't help but think what a great life he had ahead of him... his cousin stopped by earlier in the day and said that it was his purpose to bring laughter and joy to those that he interacted with...and he served that purpose well up to the last second of his life. She didn't appear upset...almost calm to know that he had done what he was put here to do...and that he will be in a better place now.
I haven't cried as much as I thought I would. I am sure that it is just waiting for the right time to come out. I've been on administrative mode for the past day and a half. Today someone hugged me and I almost lost it. I'm not in fear of keeping it together...I'm not sure really what's going on.
well i gotta go to a debriefing meeting.
LoveLove
Last night we had a gathering for the students in the hall to just come together in one room and talk. Talk about what they were feeling, ask questions about what happened, tell stories about their friends. And I was amazed at the openness and the way they open themselves up to share their thoughts with each other. The first student shared how he felt he and his friend had a big brother little brother relationship. He said that earlier on Tuesday afternoon, before the game, he and his friend had a conversation about dealing with death. The student that passed away had just the weekend before had two of his friends die and he was having difficulty dealing with their passing. The student that shared this story said that life is too short to not tell people you love that you love them, or to go to bed angry at a friend or a loved one because you may never get the chance to make that up...and it was the first time that they had both said to each other that they loved each others as brothers... then the night of...one of the brothers passed away. The student sharing the story said that the conversation was his friends way of saying goodbye to him. That was powerful...
The rest of the night continued like this, students sharing their favorite stories...or reading notes that they had written cause they weren't sure what to say...
Today there are big butcher sized paper taped to the walls of the residence hall with words and pictures of the student that passed away. He had positively impacted the life of so many of his friends and the students in the hall in such a short time. I can't help but think what a great life he had ahead of him... his cousin stopped by earlier in the day and said that it was his purpose to bring laughter and joy to those that he interacted with...and he served that purpose well up to the last second of his life. She didn't appear upset...almost calm to know that he had done what he was put here to do...and that he will be in a better place now.
I haven't cried as much as I thought I would. I am sure that it is just waiting for the right time to come out. I've been on administrative mode for the past day and a half. Today someone hugged me and I almost lost it. I'm not in fear of keeping it together...I'm not sure really what's going on.
well i gotta go to a debriefing meeting.
LoveLove