poem for women, apples

[shadowbaby4]

daughters of eve

Comments

[niaana]

very apt, very good, your words are amazing.

Maybe needs more punctuation though for publication. That sounds horrible sorry, just i had to read it over to see were the pauses should be, but maybe thats that art and I can't see it. God maybe i'm just in negative mood, don't pay too much attention!

[shadowbaby4]

This is exactly the kind of feedback I find most useful. Thank you for letting me know what works and what doesn't!

[niaana]

oh its ok, i just thought it needed some commas or full stops in there