Earth

[shadowbrides]

He is walking through a garden. He is walking right over someone's carefully tended crops and carrots. There is some blood on his boots, and it makes a mess. Right now, he is still too proud to look down, too caught up in the fading heat of battle, the slight, stinging pit in his stomach, the sure knowledge of loss.

They took the children. Some

Comments

[heartofoshun]

Wow! It is immediate and vivid, filled with interesting concepts and emotion. It is very dense also. I will probably read it a few more times. I know what I would probably do with it. But that's just me--it is your story not mine. I would use every word of it, but I itch to mold it into a less experimental more traditional method of story telling. I would add dialogue and clear scenes. It's a taste question. I'm very conservative. It totally held my interest as is, but I keep seeing it as the basis for an epic story. Anyway, never mind me at all!

I wouldn't be quick to call it AU either. I think most of this stuff is while really different and creative absolutely easy to accept in the context.

Congrats on a really engaging and intense piece. Love the ending--"Then, hiccuping, one of them begins to cry. Then the other."

[shadowbrides]

Aww, thank you so much!! I'm glad you like it. I wish I were able to do the dialogue thing, but I'm just...really bad at that. It's not just not how my mind works. I mean I am capable of dialogue in real life, of course, but my thoughts are more something like this, haha. I more or less write how I think, I guess. If you want to have fun with it, go ahead though. I think if I ever post it on the SWG I'll make it a red robin, because I feel as if there should be more story, but I'm all about summarizing, airplane view, oneshots.

Hmm, perhaps. Food or lack of it is just barely mentioned in canon, and never cited as a concern, so I guess that's why I felt it may be AU. Maybe the Valar probably gave them genetically enhanced super plants able to grow on anything, like those super horses of theirs, haha.

[heartofoshun]

I have never written a story with somebody. But this one almost makes me want to try. We would be a great team, I write pure dialogue in my head and then when I try to get the story down on paper, I fill in everything else. The concepts, to me at least, are really fascinating. No Maglor as a social worker trying to help the poor little children or alternatively wipe his slate clean by doing a single good deed (not that raising children isn't penance enough for anything!!! I'm still trying to figure out what I am paying for--it never ends).

Here is an emo adolescent Elrond for you in my icon above--just the kid to make Maglor wish he had left him in the ruins.

[shadowbrides]

Well, if you're up for it I would like to give it a try! I mean, I don't think I'm doing much with the story otherwise. I usually have a clearcut idea of the situation at hand and leave it at that. If there were dialogue though, I would probably start having ideas about the now changed situation and its dynamics. :)

Adolescent Elrond. Poor Maglor. I bet he plays angry songs on his modified extra loud lute in his room about how he hates everyone and refuses to come to dinner.

[engarian]

This is marvelous. It hits to the gut, and brings forth things of elven economy that are rarely considered. Well worth leaving late for work to read.

- Erulisse (one L)

[shadowbrides]

Thank you! They just mention hunting all the time, never any mention of farmers. You'd start to think Elves are a purely carnivore kind. :-P