Uh-oh [fic]
Title: Uh-oh!
Author: shadowbyrd
Rating: G
Word Count: 874
Warning(s): Spoilers for 5.08. attempt at crack.
Pairing(s): Hints of Dean/Castiel and mention of Dean's Dr Sexy obsession.
Summary: Dean finds out what show Castiel got zapped to. It ain't pretty.
“Why is Sam taking so long in bathroom?” asked Castiel, looking mildly concerned.
“You know that gameshow you found us on? Nutcracker?” Dean made a few explanatory gestures. “Sammy didn’t get his question right.” he added, voice raised.
Sam shouted something indistinguishable and probably disparaging through the door.
“So where d’you end up?” Dean asked, settling on the motel room couch with a bottle of beer.
“Why do you assume I ended up anywhere?” asked Castiel a beat too quick.
“The fact that you broke into…wherever it was we were, got zapped away and came back all bloody. C’mon, where was it? Police drama, starring you as the righteous cop of righteous justice? Or that show with the losers that sing, you could have made everyone’s ears bleed! Did you go on Dr Sexy? Say you went on Dr Sexy.” Dean managed to bite his tongue in time to keep the “because the blue scrubs they wear would really bring out your eyes” to himself.
Castiel was starting to get his terrified this-is-all-a-little-too-human-for-me look that had made its debut back at the brothel. “I have to go now.” he said standing up.
Dean grinned and pointed. “It was Dr Sexy, wasn’t it?”
And then Dean was struck with the mental image of Castiel (in scrubs) and Dr Sexy in an elevator together. Dr Sexy would totally go bi for Cas, and if anyone could make Cas go human - or hell, even go at all, it was Dr Sexy. And those bogglingly attractive cowboy boots.
It was five minutes before Dean actually noticed that Castiel had exited, stage left.
For the next few weeks the TVs in their rooms stayed off and Dean stuck to reading spoilers for Dr Sexy on the internet. Except whenever Castiel turned up to pow-wow with them; then Dean put Dr Sexy on in the background.
However, by and large this didn’t have the affect that Dean had been hoping for; it was Sam was getting all uncomfortable. Castiel didn’t seem to care, nor did he rise to any of Dean’s loud suggestions about Dr Sexy’s prowess and whether or not he liked it rough.
Sam, on the other hand, seemed about ready to kill him.
“Is there a reason you’re always watching that?” asked Castiel, eyes narrowed at the TV screen.
Dean sighed, elevator fantasies evaporating. “I’m not watching, I’m channel surfing, see?” He flicked through a few stations to prove his point. Fox News, Sesame Street, Dallas re-run, Teletubbies -
The image wavered and the bubbly music drowned in static. Dean glanced across at Castiel, who had a facial twitch that would make a ‘Nam veteran think twice.
Dean blinked slowly and looked from the TV to Castiel and back again.
“No. Way.” said Dean, unable to fight the face-splitting grin.
Castiel jerked one shoulder in a shrug. “It could have been worse.” he said, clearly trying to convince himself as well as Dean “It could have been televangelists.”
“Teletubbies, though? Seriously? Man, you had it easy.” Dean said, flopping back on the sofa. Then he sat up again “Wait a sec, the Teletubbies? You were bleeding when you found us the second time, how the hell do you get beaten up by the Teletubbies? Did they dogpile you or something?”
“I have neither a television screen in my belly, or an antenna on my head.” said Castiel “As such, I was unable to conduct the electricity, or show them the short film they wanted to see.”
Dean pursed his lips. “You got beaten up. By Teletubbies.”
“As I have explained,” Catstiel began, clearly reaching the end of his patience “I was electrocuted when they tried to get me to join in.”
Dean slipped a hand over his mouth, trying desperately to think of something sad or depressing. The Apocalypse, Lucifer, the rumours of sexy yet earnest doctor being written out of the show. The fact that following this…incident, Anna was now probably the only sane angel left in all of Creation.
But really. Teletubbies?
He broke with a sound like escaping gas, which deteriorated into raucous laughter. He almost fell onto the floor, while Castiel looked down his nose at him, arms folded.
“What’s going on? And Dean, what’s so funny?”
“Oh man,” Dean wiped his eyes and got up to his knees. “You don’t know how lucky you are that you have me as a big brother. I mean, I may have terrorised you a little in our lifetime, but at least I never - mrrphhg!”
Safe out of Sam’s line of sight, Castiel smirked. Dean took a moment to him the “bitch, please” look and then reached up to peel the duct tape off his mouth.
Only to find his hands and thumbs taped together too.
Son a bitch!
Dean lurched toward him but overbalanced and fell flat on his face.
Sitting at the table, Sam smiled serenely. “I have no idea what’s going here, but it’s so peaceful all of a sudden, I’m not sure I care.”
Dean screamed, to little effect.
Castiel seated himself opposite Sam, looking smug and calm and very angelically dickish.
“I think I could get used to this.” Sam told him, opening his can as Dean yelled and pounded on the floor.
Author: shadowbyrd
Rating: G
Word Count: 874
Warning(s): Spoilers for 5.08. attempt at crack.
Pairing(s): Hints of Dean/Castiel and mention of Dean's Dr Sexy obsession.
Summary: Dean finds out what show Castiel got zapped to. It ain't pretty.
“Why is Sam taking so long in bathroom?” asked Castiel, looking mildly concerned.
“You know that gameshow you found us on? Nutcracker?” Dean made a few explanatory gestures. “Sammy didn’t get his question right.” he added, voice raised.
Sam shouted something indistinguishable and probably disparaging through the door.
“So where d’you end up?” Dean asked, settling on the motel room couch with a bottle of beer.
“Why do you assume I ended up anywhere?” asked Castiel a beat too quick.
“The fact that you broke into…wherever it was we were, got zapped away and came back all bloody. C’mon, where was it? Police drama, starring you as the righteous cop of righteous justice? Or that show with the losers that sing, you could have made everyone’s ears bleed! Did you go on Dr Sexy? Say you went on Dr Sexy.” Dean managed to bite his tongue in time to keep the “because the blue scrubs they wear would really bring out your eyes” to himself.
Castiel was starting to get his terrified this-is-all-a-little-too-human-for-me look that had made its debut back at the brothel. “I have to go now.” he said standing up.
Dean grinned and pointed. “It was Dr Sexy, wasn’t it?”
And then Dean was struck with the mental image of Castiel (in scrubs) and Dr Sexy in an elevator together. Dr Sexy would totally go bi for Cas, and if anyone could make Cas go human - or hell, even go at all, it was Dr Sexy. And those bogglingly attractive cowboy boots.
It was five minutes before Dean actually noticed that Castiel had exited, stage left.
For the next few weeks the TVs in their rooms stayed off and Dean stuck to reading spoilers for Dr Sexy on the internet. Except whenever Castiel turned up to pow-wow with them; then Dean put Dr Sexy on in the background.
However, by and large this didn’t have the affect that Dean had been hoping for; it was Sam was getting all uncomfortable. Castiel didn’t seem to care, nor did he rise to any of Dean’s loud suggestions about Dr Sexy’s prowess and whether or not he liked it rough.
Sam, on the other hand, seemed about ready to kill him.
“Is there a reason you’re always watching that?” asked Castiel, eyes narrowed at the TV screen.
Dean sighed, elevator fantasies evaporating. “I’m not watching, I’m channel surfing, see?” He flicked through a few stations to prove his point. Fox News, Sesame Street, Dallas re-run, Teletubbies -
The image wavered and the bubbly music drowned in static. Dean glanced across at Castiel, who had a facial twitch that would make a ‘Nam veteran think twice.
Dean blinked slowly and looked from the TV to Castiel and back again.
“No. Way.” said Dean, unable to fight the face-splitting grin.
Castiel jerked one shoulder in a shrug. “It could have been worse.” he said, clearly trying to convince himself as well as Dean “It could have been televangelists.”
“Teletubbies, though? Seriously? Man, you had it easy.” Dean said, flopping back on the sofa. Then he sat up again “Wait a sec, the Teletubbies? You were bleeding when you found us the second time, how the hell do you get beaten up by the Teletubbies? Did they dogpile you or something?”
“I have neither a television screen in my belly, or an antenna on my head.” said Castiel “As such, I was unable to conduct the electricity, or show them the short film they wanted to see.”
Dean pursed his lips. “You got beaten up. By Teletubbies.”
“As I have explained,” Catstiel began, clearly reaching the end of his patience “I was electrocuted when they tried to get me to join in.”
Dean slipped a hand over his mouth, trying desperately to think of something sad or depressing. The Apocalypse, Lucifer, the rumours of sexy yet earnest doctor being written out of the show. The fact that following this…incident, Anna was now probably the only sane angel left in all of Creation.
But really. Teletubbies?
He broke with a sound like escaping gas, which deteriorated into raucous laughter. He almost fell onto the floor, while Castiel looked down his nose at him, arms folded.
“What’s going on? And Dean, what’s so funny?”
“Oh man,” Dean wiped his eyes and got up to his knees. “You don’t know how lucky you are that you have me as a big brother. I mean, I may have terrorised you a little in our lifetime, but at least I never - mrrphhg!”
Safe out of Sam’s line of sight, Castiel smirked. Dean took a moment to him the “bitch, please” look and then reached up to peel the duct tape off his mouth.
Only to find his hands and thumbs taped together too.
Son a bitch!
Dean lurched toward him but overbalanced and fell flat on his face.
Sitting at the table, Sam smiled serenely. “I have no idea what’s going here, but it’s so peaceful all of a sudden, I’m not sure I care.”
Dean screamed, to little effect.
Castiel seated himself opposite Sam, looking smug and calm and very angelically dickish.
“I think I could get used to this.” Sam told him, opening his can as Dean yelled and pounded on the floor.