Welcome to Our Nightmares ....
/sigh/
This has not been an easy week for us, as some of you know, but other then nightmares, weather aches, tension aches, too much stress, too little sleep, too much worryfretting, and wanting to commit random acts of extreme violence, we're doing quite well.
For those who are interested,
The hoorah started with gma wanting me to give her some of my meds - specifically, my sleepy pills ….
Gma saw doc on Thursday, but she didn’t tell him how much or how often she hurt, didn’t tell him how often she can’t sleep...
=sighs=
Her not telling doc stuff is normal for her - she “only tells him what he needs to know” … “needs to know” being by *her* definition, of course. Ends up with list of what she thinks doc needs to know bout her being *frigging* short - and list of what he *doesn’t* need to know getting longer every year….
In gma’s mind, no one - *including* her doctor - needs to know how much or how often she’s in pain … how often she has trouble sleeping … how often she falls … what she eats … what meds, supplements, etc she’s taking … Only reason doc knows what prescription meds gma takes is because the only way she can get them is thru him.
Now, while can understand not wanting to broadcast one’s ills to the world & topics such as bowel movements & digestion tend to *not* make for good conversation, is *different* when dealing with medicos. Aside from impossibility of doc helping you if you don’t tell him when something’s wrong, one of the things the medicos *need to know is what you’re putting in your system.
=sighs again=
But even tho knew gma didn’t tell doc things, never *dreamed* she would refuse to tell him ‘bout not sleeping well - then come to me very next day wanting some of *my* meds!
=wry grin=
Gma was rather *less* then pleased when her polite request was refused, and in no uncertain terms. She said that she wasn’t wanting my *prescription* meds, “just the *other* ones” …
=rolls eyes=
Yes, I avoid prescription meds as much as possible - tending to have negative reactions to most of ‘em will do that - & take barest minimum doses when I can’t avoid them. And, yes, I use herbal remedies whenever possible - they don’t mess up my system like the prescriptions things do. But even so …
“All Natural, 100% Herbal, Clinically Tested” is **NOT** the same thing as “Safe for All Users Under All Conditions” …
And when told that little fact, gma accused me of not caring ‘bout her …
Things went rapidly downhill from there…
=closes eyes for a moment then sits and stares at monitor for a long time=
You know, I thought I *could* write it down - the bare bones, at least … I really thought that enough time had passed for me to be able to talk ‘bout it…
But I can’t.
I look at the memories and … start shoving them down and trying to cover them over. I don’t know *why* it all hit us so hard… maybe just too much stress and not enough sleep made us more edgy and sensitive then usual. All I know right now is that what she said hurt and angered and twisted inside.
=sighs=
On other side of scales tho …
Have found out more ‘bout how gma thinks …
* 1 * Gma is firmly convinced that *all* “regular” doctors - meaning “non-alternative, standard AMA-type” - are only out for the money and that all of them actively want to keep all of their patients un-well for as long as possible in order to get all of the money they can…
* 2 * Gma is equally convinced that *all* alternative doctors truly want to heal people, that money is incidental, and that all of them were once AMA doctors who became disgusted with standard medical practices and switched over to alternative methods in spite of Great Persecution. ((The way gma puts it sounds more like Early Tent Revival - “they saw the Light and repented of their evil ways!” ….))
* 3 * Gma believes that alternative medicine is something new and that when the alternative docs first got started the *regular* docs used to break into the offices of the alternative docs, trash the offices, destroy supplies, attack the alternative docs, have them arrested, etc. ... and that the attacks continued until fairly recently.
* 4 * Gma is convinced that if she tells doc bout her supplements - things like cardioplus and stuff - that he'll take them away from her and prevent her from ever getting any more.
* 5 * And gma *knows* that all of these things are the gospel truth … =sighs and rolls eyes= … because she “read it in the paper” ….
Now - Virginia, Santa, & the Sun aside - just because something’s in the paper ... or on the nightly news, in an email from my Cousin NormaJean, or any *other* form of information passing ... does *not* mean that it's true. However, since gma *also* has a firm conviction that news reporters tell the truth - “After all, they don’t have any reason to lie” …
=sighs=
Asking gma when she read this ((even an approximate decade)) or where she read it ((even if only what *kind* of publication)) got the response that "Never in all her 99 yrs has *anyone* **ever** asked her where she read something” and why was I doubting her word and etc ....
And since to gma, "the paper" might be the local newspaper ... or big city Sunday paper ... or magazine ... or one of those friggin expensive newsletters she gets from alternative docs ((average cost: $70 / year for quarterly newsletter of 8 pgs)) ... or friend at health store had stacks of flyers.... or even a bloody **ad** that came in mail labeled "URGENT!" …
=sighs again=
In spite of hoorah and all that came after, at least am knowing more bout how gma thinks … =wry grin= … tho are some here who say that is evidence that she *doesn’t* think ….
It's rather long - and pretty much only gives the starting of it, but we haven't been able to write any more about it. Feel free to ignore it.
In other news ...
Our brother Jim lives in Houston, TX. We got an email from him Sunday night - and have heard nothing since then. His lady Giselle has a ranch out there, but we aren't sure of just where it is located...
While we know that the logical probability is that they are together and safe, emotions are not prone to logical, rational contemplation of probabilities... And since Jim is the kind who will do his best to rescue others ... /sigh/ ... He's also retired army and we think he's still subject to recall ...
Well, until we hear from him we're going to be worryfretting more then normal.
As for nightmares ...
/I close my eyes for a moment and shove certain images back under the closet/
Anxiety dreams ... terror dreams ... dreams of watching those we care about dying and being unable to help them ... claustrophobic dreams of being trapped and running out of air ...
/sigh/
Two days of them now - and they do not make for restful sleeping.
Happier Thoughts ...
Autumn is here and we really aren't hurting more then is normal for this time of year. It's the start of Soup & Baking Season ... /grin/ ... and we *like* making soup and baking - especially the old family recipes. We've got some recipes that have been in the family since the 1800s and earlier - and we can't get the energy up to do much of that when the temperatures are 90F to 100F and above for days and weeks on end...
The lavender is still blooming and even tho they're at the end of their season we're still getting some tomatoes from our garden. The sage and basil made it through the summer and the sage should survive the winter. We had a *huge* mint harvest this year - we've dried enough to see us thru to the end of the year at least. /grin/ Unfortunately, we really like mint in tea and salads and cooking and all so I don't think it'll last past New Year's and probly not past Yuletide...
/smile/
We've got friends - good ones - and you are the very best of all Good Things. Take care of yourselves. Be safe ... be well ... be happy.
CeeCee
This has not been an easy week for us, as some of you know, but other then nightmares, weather aches, tension aches, too much stress, too little sleep, too much worryfretting, and wanting to commit random acts of extreme violence, we're doing quite well.
For those who are interested,
The hoorah started with gma wanting me to give her some of my meds - specifically, my sleepy pills ….
Gma saw doc on Thursday, but she didn’t tell him how much or how often she hurt, didn’t tell him how often she can’t sleep...
=sighs=
Her not telling doc stuff is normal for her - she “only tells him what he needs to know” … “needs to know” being by *her* definition, of course. Ends up with list of what she thinks doc needs to know bout her being *frigging* short - and list of what he *doesn’t* need to know getting longer every year….
In gma’s mind, no one - *including* her doctor - needs to know how much or how often she’s in pain … how often she has trouble sleeping … how often she falls … what she eats … what meds, supplements, etc she’s taking … Only reason doc knows what prescription meds gma takes is because the only way she can get them is thru him.
Now, while can understand not wanting to broadcast one’s ills to the world & topics such as bowel movements & digestion tend to *not* make for good conversation, is *different* when dealing with medicos. Aside from impossibility of doc helping you if you don’t tell him when something’s wrong, one of the things the medicos *need to know is what you’re putting in your system.
=sighs again=
But even tho knew gma didn’t tell doc things, never *dreamed* she would refuse to tell him ‘bout not sleeping well - then come to me very next day wanting some of *my* meds!
=wry grin=
Gma was rather *less* then pleased when her polite request was refused, and in no uncertain terms. She said that she wasn’t wanting my *prescription* meds, “just the *other* ones” …
=rolls eyes=
Yes, I avoid prescription meds as much as possible - tending to have negative reactions to most of ‘em will do that - & take barest minimum doses when I can’t avoid them. And, yes, I use herbal remedies whenever possible - they don’t mess up my system like the prescriptions things do. But even so …
“All Natural, 100% Herbal, Clinically Tested” is **NOT** the same thing as “Safe for All Users Under All Conditions” …
And when told that little fact, gma accused me of not caring ‘bout her …
Things went rapidly downhill from there…
=closes eyes for a moment then sits and stares at monitor for a long time=
You know, I thought I *could* write it down - the bare bones, at least … I really thought that enough time had passed for me to be able to talk ‘bout it…
But I can’t.
I look at the memories and … start shoving them down and trying to cover them over. I don’t know *why* it all hit us so hard… maybe just too much stress and not enough sleep made us more edgy and sensitive then usual. All I know right now is that what she said hurt and angered and twisted inside.
=sighs=
On other side of scales tho …
Have found out more ‘bout how gma thinks …
* 1 * Gma is firmly convinced that *all* “regular” doctors - meaning “non-alternative, standard AMA-type” - are only out for the money and that all of them actively want to keep all of their patients un-well for as long as possible in order to get all of the money they can…
* 2 * Gma is equally convinced that *all* alternative doctors truly want to heal people, that money is incidental, and that all of them were once AMA doctors who became disgusted with standard medical practices and switched over to alternative methods in spite of Great Persecution. ((The way gma puts it sounds more like Early Tent Revival - “they saw the Light and repented of their evil ways!” ….))
* 3 * Gma believes that alternative medicine is something new and that when the alternative docs first got started the *regular* docs used to break into the offices of the alternative docs, trash the offices, destroy supplies, attack the alternative docs, have them arrested, etc. ... and that the attacks continued until fairly recently.
* 4 * Gma is convinced that if she tells doc bout her supplements - things like cardioplus and stuff - that he'll take them away from her and prevent her from ever getting any more.
* 5 * And gma *knows* that all of these things are the gospel truth … =sighs and rolls eyes= … because she “read it in the paper” ….
Now - Virginia, Santa, & the Sun aside - just because something’s in the paper ... or on the nightly news, in an email from my Cousin NormaJean, or any *other* form of information passing ... does *not* mean that it's true. However, since gma *also* has a firm conviction that news reporters tell the truth - “After all, they don’t have any reason to lie” …
=sighs=
Asking gma when she read this ((even an approximate decade)) or where she read it ((even if only what *kind* of publication)) got the response that "Never in all her 99 yrs has *anyone* **ever** asked her where she read something” and why was I doubting her word and etc ....
And since to gma, "the paper" might be the local newspaper ... or big city Sunday paper ... or magazine ... or one of those friggin expensive newsletters she gets from alternative docs ((average cost: $70 / year for quarterly newsletter of 8 pgs)) ... or friend at health store had stacks of flyers.... or even a bloody **ad** that came in mail labeled "URGENT!" …
=sighs again=
In spite of hoorah and all that came after, at least am knowing more bout how gma thinks … =wry grin= … tho are some here who say that is evidence that she *doesn’t* think ….
It's rather long - and pretty much only gives the starting of it, but we haven't been able to write any more about it. Feel free to ignore it.
In other news ...
Our brother Jim lives in Houston, TX. We got an email from him Sunday night - and have heard nothing since then. His lady Giselle has a ranch out there, but we aren't sure of just where it is located...
While we know that the logical probability is that they are together and safe, emotions are not prone to logical, rational contemplation of probabilities... And since Jim is the kind who will do his best to rescue others ... /sigh/ ... He's also retired army and we think he's still subject to recall ...
Well, until we hear from him we're going to be worryfretting more then normal.
As for nightmares ...
/I close my eyes for a moment and shove certain images back under the closet/
Anxiety dreams ... terror dreams ... dreams of watching those we care about dying and being unable to help them ... claustrophobic dreams of being trapped and running out of air ...
/sigh/
Two days of them now - and they do not make for restful sleeping.
Happier Thoughts ...
Autumn is here and we really aren't hurting more then is normal for this time of year. It's the start of Soup & Baking Season ... /grin/ ... and we *like* making soup and baking - especially the old family recipes. We've got some recipes that have been in the family since the 1800s and earlier - and we can't get the energy up to do much of that when the temperatures are 90F to 100F and above for days and weeks on end...
The lavender is still blooming and even tho they're at the end of their season we're still getting some tomatoes from our garden. The sage and basil made it through the summer and the sage should survive the winter. We had a *huge* mint harvest this year - we've dried enough to see us thru to the end of the year at least. /grin/ Unfortunately, we really like mint in tea and salads and cooking and all so I don't think it'll last past New Year's and probly not past Yuletide...
/smile/
We've got friends - good ones - and you are the very best of all Good Things. Take care of yourselves. Be safe ... be well ... be happy.
CeeCee