Forever & Always pt 1 Reposted
Don't hate. Another "first"
"Anthony! Is it true?" I said frustratedly.
He remained unresponsive on the couch.
"Tell me the truth, d*mn it! Don't lie to me anymore. We need to talk about this!"
He didn't rouse from his slouch.
"Anthony," I said softly,"did you.. did you mean..what you said..about me?"
He finally looked up from his prone position, and stared me straight in the eye, a watery blue locked with a solid, shadowy brown.
"Yes. Everything, every word, was completely true. Every single thing."
I was speechless. A rare event. I was standing stock-still unable to comprehend, to wrap my mind around what my best friend, my business partner, my Anthony, had just said.
Earlier that Morning...
I was rummaging through Anthony's room looking for a blank CD to back up the latest Smosh video, while Anthony was picking up more bins of mail before the post office came for our heads. One i found in a case at the bottom of a drawer. It had a scribbled out title, although, in red, through the black permanent marjer, it said clearly, Anthony's Undisclosed Desires. Underneath, it said FOR IAN. I was curious to its contents as well as to why it said that. So I decided to check if it was usable. For a few seconds, the Smosh house was completely silent. Then the video started. Definitely not blank. Not Smosh either, as to there was no cheery, upbeat intro to Lunchtime With Smosh, no tower of mail. The only thing on the screen was an extremely downcast Anthony Padilla with his head in his hands. Quiet sobbing and light, rapid breathing, almost hyperventilating, echoed through the speakers.
Anthony looked up, and said waveringly,
"I can't believe..OK, so..Ian, if you are watching this, it is completely private. I am begging you, please, don't put this on the internet. Um. It's really hard for me to not just walk away right now, it's really hard for me to say this, even not directly to your face. Just, bear with me for a few minutes, please.."
I could never imagine, in the timespan of eternity what came next..
Ant folded his hands. He opened his mouth and a little crackling sound came out. He took a deep breath and said, "Ian, I love you. Not like a best friend, not like a brother, but in the way I loved..."He cleared his throat and shook his head, as if not saying her name would erase the burn SHE left on his heart.
"Please, don't run and scream in revulsion. I'm still me. Let me explain.. The first time I laid eyes on you in that 6th grade class, I knew you were the most beautiful human being on the planet Earth. When you looked at me with your beautiful glacier-blue eyes, it sent tremors down my spine, even when it was 95 degrees. When we were talking, I could hardly keep my voice from cracking. But as we got closer, I learned to ignore the fact I was in love with you, and focus on being best friends, and always be there for you. Somehow, I don't know how, I managed to not to look insane in front of you, and you stuck by my side for thirteen years. Look at us now,Ian. We are Internet KINGS. I have been able not to make a stuttering fool out of myself for 13 fucking years. I have been hiding these feelings for 13 years. I knew if I didn't say it to someone, even a web-cam, I would lose it, and my, I don't know, kidneys would explode. So, this video is to get it out there, even if I don't have the courage to say it to your beautiful face, and God, I wish I did, even if you don't see this, because chances are, I will chicken out at the last second and not give it to you. I love you, Ian Hecox. Forever and Always."
My eyes were misty, and as he said the last line, a single crystal tear slid down my cheek. My mouth popped open like I had been punched in the face with strong, heavy guilt. My best friend had just come out to me, admitted that he loved me, in the most beautiful way possible, even if I wasn't supposed to see. My heart panged with guilt, growing heavier, as I came to the realization, Anthony had been tortured for 13 years at my ignorant hands.
"Yes. Everything, every word, was completely true. Every single thing."
His deep voice brought me from my reminiscence.
Anthony stood there guiltily as I sorted through my jumbled thoughts.
My best friend. Anthony. Is in love with me. Anthony. Me. Oh. My. God. How did he know I found the CD?
He fell back on the couch, back into a fetal position. I sat on the couch. I pulled his head into my lap. While absently toying with his messy bed-head, I said, "You really like my eyes? You think I'm beautiful?"
He rolled over to stare straight up at me.
"Of course.Your eyes are an deep, calm ocean. They calm me down, when I am in a bad mood, or when I am stressed out. They're what's been keeping me stable for 13 years, Ian."
He stood up and paced over to the kitchen for two Cokes. He tossed one to me. Neither one of us opened it. He started pacing, like he does trying to concieve a Smosh idea. I watched in silence as he paced for a few minutes. Finally, the silence grew awkward. I stood in front of him and held on to his shoulders. he leaned down to rest his head on my shoulder. He wrapped his arms around my neck. An electrifying heat passed between us.
"You smell good..." he said nuzzling closer. Our bodies started to respond to the amazing heat in the few inches between our chests and stomachs. I didn't know if it was his, or mine or both. We stood like that for a few minutes, and when I didn't pull away, he pulled his head back to look at me. We were so close our noses were touching.
"Can I kiss you, Ian?"
"I thought you'd never ask..." I said with a chuckle. He leaned in with his glass-smooth lips for the most perfect kiss I ever experienced. It felt completely natural. No weirdness about how I was kissing my best friend
He pulled away for a moment for the most perfect sentence ever.
"I love you, Ian, forever and always." He returned to lighting my lips on fire. He smiled, exuding perfect bliss, into the kiss as if he knew my thoughts.
I love you too Anthony...forever and always...
"Anthony! Is it true?" I said frustratedly.
He remained unresponsive on the couch.
"Tell me the truth, d*mn it! Don't lie to me anymore. We need to talk about this!"
He didn't rouse from his slouch.
"Anthony," I said softly,"did you.. did you mean..what you said..about me?"
He finally looked up from his prone position, and stared me straight in the eye, a watery blue locked with a solid, shadowy brown.
"Yes. Everything, every word, was completely true. Every single thing."
I was speechless. A rare event. I was standing stock-still unable to comprehend, to wrap my mind around what my best friend, my business partner, my Anthony, had just said.
Earlier that Morning...
I was rummaging through Anthony's room looking for a blank CD to back up the latest Smosh video, while Anthony was picking up more bins of mail before the post office came for our heads. One i found in a case at the bottom of a drawer. It had a scribbled out title, although, in red, through the black permanent marjer, it said clearly, Anthony's Undisclosed Desires. Underneath, it said FOR IAN. I was curious to its contents as well as to why it said that. So I decided to check if it was usable. For a few seconds, the Smosh house was completely silent. Then the video started. Definitely not blank. Not Smosh either, as to there was no cheery, upbeat intro to Lunchtime With Smosh, no tower of mail. The only thing on the screen was an extremely downcast Anthony Padilla with his head in his hands. Quiet sobbing and light, rapid breathing, almost hyperventilating, echoed through the speakers.
Anthony looked up, and said waveringly,
"I can't believe..OK, so..Ian, if you are watching this, it is completely private. I am begging you, please, don't put this on the internet. Um. It's really hard for me to not just walk away right now, it's really hard for me to say this, even not directly to your face. Just, bear with me for a few minutes, please.."
I could never imagine, in the timespan of eternity what came next..
Ant folded his hands. He opened his mouth and a little crackling sound came out. He took a deep breath and said, "Ian, I love you. Not like a best friend, not like a brother, but in the way I loved..."He cleared his throat and shook his head, as if not saying her name would erase the burn SHE left on his heart.
"Please, don't run and scream in revulsion. I'm still me. Let me explain.. The first time I laid eyes on you in that 6th grade class, I knew you were the most beautiful human being on the planet Earth. When you looked at me with your beautiful glacier-blue eyes, it sent tremors down my spine, even when it was 95 degrees. When we were talking, I could hardly keep my voice from cracking. But as we got closer, I learned to ignore the fact I was in love with you, and focus on being best friends, and always be there for you. Somehow, I don't know how, I managed to not to look insane in front of you, and you stuck by my side for thirteen years. Look at us now,Ian. We are Internet KINGS. I have been able not to make a stuttering fool out of myself for 13 fucking years. I have been hiding these feelings for 13 years. I knew if I didn't say it to someone, even a web-cam, I would lose it, and my, I don't know, kidneys would explode. So, this video is to get it out there, even if I don't have the courage to say it to your beautiful face, and God, I wish I did, even if you don't see this, because chances are, I will chicken out at the last second and not give it to you. I love you, Ian Hecox. Forever and Always."
My eyes were misty, and as he said the last line, a single crystal tear slid down my cheek. My mouth popped open like I had been punched in the face with strong, heavy guilt. My best friend had just come out to me, admitted that he loved me, in the most beautiful way possible, even if I wasn't supposed to see. My heart panged with guilt, growing heavier, as I came to the realization, Anthony had been tortured for 13 years at my ignorant hands.
"Yes. Everything, every word, was completely true. Every single thing."
His deep voice brought me from my reminiscence.
Anthony stood there guiltily as I sorted through my jumbled thoughts.
My best friend. Anthony. Is in love with me. Anthony. Me. Oh. My. God. How did he know I found the CD?
He fell back on the couch, back into a fetal position. I sat on the couch. I pulled his head into my lap. While absently toying with his messy bed-head, I said, "You really like my eyes? You think I'm beautiful?"
He rolled over to stare straight up at me.
"Of course.Your eyes are an deep, calm ocean. They calm me down, when I am in a bad mood, or when I am stressed out. They're what's been keeping me stable for 13 years, Ian."
He stood up and paced over to the kitchen for two Cokes. He tossed one to me. Neither one of us opened it. He started pacing, like he does trying to concieve a Smosh idea. I watched in silence as he paced for a few minutes. Finally, the silence grew awkward. I stood in front of him and held on to his shoulders. he leaned down to rest his head on my shoulder. He wrapped his arms around my neck. An electrifying heat passed between us.
"You smell good..." he said nuzzling closer. Our bodies started to respond to the amazing heat in the few inches between our chests and stomachs. I didn't know if it was his, or mine or both. We stood like that for a few minutes, and when I didn't pull away, he pulled his head back to look at me. We were so close our noses were touching.
"Can I kiss you, Ian?"
"I thought you'd never ask..." I said with a chuckle. He leaned in with his glass-smooth lips for the most perfect kiss I ever experienced. It felt completely natural. No weirdness about how I was kissing my best friend
He pulled away for a moment for the most perfect sentence ever.
"I love you, Ian, forever and always." He returned to lighting my lips on fire. He smiled, exuding perfect bliss, into the kiss as if he knew my thoughts.
I love you too Anthony...forever and always...