From the Not Always Right dot Com Book
De Ting, De Ting!!!
Tech Support | Oregon
(I worked with tech support for a major software company, specifically with its digital media products. This call was about its video editing software)
ME: Thanks for calling ***** tech support.
(The customer gives me her info and has a thick accent I can't place)
ME: Great! What can I do for you?
CALLER: Yes, I am trying to edit dees beedio, and eet's blue and blue on de ting
ME: So... it's blue, and blue... on the thing?
CALLER: Yes
ME: Where is it blue?
CALLER: On de ting
ME: By 'thing', do you mean the computer screen or your camera?
CALLER: Yes... de ting.
ME: Ma'am, I can't see what you are looking at, so you'll have to tell me the name of the thing that is blue.
CALLER: *getting angry* DE TING!!! Eeeet's BLUUUUE AN BLUUUEE ON DE TING!!!!
ME: What exactly is blue? The video on your monitor? Are you outputting to TV? The viewfinder on your camera?
CALLER: Yes
ME: Yes... which one?
CALLER: *yelling* DE TING!!!!
ME: Ma'am, I'm sorry but I don't understand where you are having a problem.
CALLER: THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS!!! I SPEAK PERFECT ENGLISH!!! MY HUSBAND TAUGHT ME!! HE WILL BE VERY VERY ANGRY WIT YOU!!! I DEMAND RESPECT!!! HOW DARE YOU!!!
ME: Ma'am, I agree. You speak English very, very well. The problem I am having is you are not telling me where you are seeing blue video.
CALLER: ON DE TIIIING!!!
(This exchange went on for a while before she got frustrated and hung up. The best part is, my call was being listened to by some higher-level support guys. They created an internal troubleshooting document that appeared as follows)
PROBLEM: THE VIDEO IS BLUE AND BLUE ON THE THING
SOLUTION: NONE AT THIS TIME
TROUBLESHOOTING:
(TECH SUPPORT) IS THE THING BLUE? TRY REINSTALLING THE THING.
(TECH SUPPORT) THING REINSTALLED. STILL BLUE.
(ENGINEER) CANNOT RE-CREATE THING IN LAB.
(ENGINEER) PROBLEM ALMOST RE-CREATED. THING RED.
(And so on and so on...)
I think the end part got me the most. XD
Tech Support | Oregon
(I worked with tech support for a major software company, specifically with its digital media products. This call was about its video editing software)
ME: Thanks for calling ***** tech support.
(The customer gives me her info and has a thick accent I can't place)
ME: Great! What can I do for you?
CALLER: Yes, I am trying to edit dees beedio, and eet's blue and blue on de ting
ME: So... it's blue, and blue... on the thing?
CALLER: Yes
ME: Where is it blue?
CALLER: On de ting
ME: By 'thing', do you mean the computer screen or your camera?
CALLER: Yes... de ting.
ME: Ma'am, I can't see what you are looking at, so you'll have to tell me the name of the thing that is blue.
CALLER: *getting angry* DE TING!!! Eeeet's BLUUUUE AN BLUUUEE ON DE TING!!!!
ME: What exactly is blue? The video on your monitor? Are you outputting to TV? The viewfinder on your camera?
CALLER: Yes
ME: Yes... which one?
CALLER: *yelling* DE TING!!!!
ME: Ma'am, I'm sorry but I don't understand where you are having a problem.
CALLER: THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS!!! I SPEAK PERFECT ENGLISH!!! MY HUSBAND TAUGHT ME!! HE WILL BE VERY VERY ANGRY WIT YOU!!! I DEMAND RESPECT!!! HOW DARE YOU!!!
ME: Ma'am, I agree. You speak English very, very well. The problem I am having is you are not telling me where you are seeing blue video.
CALLER: ON DE TIIIING!!!
(This exchange went on for a while before she got frustrated and hung up. The best part is, my call was being listened to by some higher-level support guys. They created an internal troubleshooting document that appeared as follows)
PROBLEM: THE VIDEO IS BLUE AND BLUE ON THE THING
SOLUTION: NONE AT THIS TIME
TROUBLESHOOTING:
(TECH SUPPORT) IS THE THING BLUE? TRY REINSTALLING THE THING.
(TECH SUPPORT) THING REINSTALLED. STILL BLUE.
(ENGINEER) CANNOT RE-CREATE THING IN LAB.
(ENGINEER) PROBLEM ALMOST RE-CREATED. THING RED.
(And so on and so on...)
I think the end part got me the most. XD