I've found that Livejournal is a really good place to get the drama out, because sometimes the people here pretend to care. I understand if you don't want to be one of them, though.
That's just the problem, though... it attracts drama, but it attracts very little else to combat the negativity of the drama. As I'm sure you must have realized upon visiting us this term, there is more than enough drama at Big Benn to satisfy my taste. I can only hope that next term will be different. If it isn't, I will respectfully be walking away from a great deal of meals.
This isn't about grudges, I've just realized that every time I look here, I'm reminded of things from my past that I have put to rest to the best of my abilities, things that have been buried and need to stay there. At least, unless they decide to do more than just say hi. Like Brittany, for instance. Don't want to really ever have to think about her, unless it's somehow going to begin to make amends for what happened, and how we both left after taking a huge chunk out of the other's faith in the goodness of existence.
Until the unlikely instance, that is something that I don't ever want to be reminded of again. At least, not without good reason.... and that (and many other such moments in my life) all come flooding back when I even just glance at the front page of this website.
Sam - I understand what you are trying to say, but I must respectfully disagree. There is always more. A place, an object, an idea, and yes - even a website - carries with it the memory of everything it has ever been involved in, carries with it the essence of every kiss that happened under it's shade, every tear shed into it, and all the blood spilled upon it. No amount of soap or time can ever fully cleanse them, and sometimes the stains are too much to bear.
That's what this is about. Ideally the stains should hardly be noticeable anymore, and for many I would say it would probably be true, but upon returning the other night I have realized that the opposite is true. In fact, they may even be more obvious to me now.
You should feel free to look me up on facebook, though. I refuse to get involved in it enough to let these sorts of scars apply. Besides, we just moved down to Putnam county - Carmel, NY, actually - where we're not terribly far from you. It'd be nice to hang out again.
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Until the unlikely instance, that is something that I don't ever want to be reminded of again. At least, not without good reason.... and that (and many other such moments in my life) all come flooding back when I even just glance at the front page of this website.
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That's what this is about. Ideally the stains should hardly be noticeable anymore, and for many I would say it would probably be true, but upon returning the other night I have realized that the opposite is true. In fact, they may even be more obvious to me now.
You should feel free to look me up on facebook, though. I refuse to get involved in it enough to let these sorts of scars apply. Besides, we just moved down to Putnam county - Carmel, NY, actually - where we're not terribly far from you. It'd be nice to hang out again.
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