cheap laugh
Your mother has a short-haired, curly perm
Your dad is some sort of engineer
Your parents still tried to get you into places half-price saying you were
12 when you were really 15
You ask your parents help on one math problem and 2 hours later they're
still lecturing
You have a 40 lb. bag of rice in your pantry
You shop 99 ranch
Everyone thinks you're "Chinese" no matter what part of Asia
your ancestors were from
You've had a bowl haircut at one point in your life
Your parents enjoy comparing you to their friends' kids
You've had to sit through karaoke videos with scantily clad, ugly Asian
women attempting to dance and walk around a temple, forest, or library
Your parents say, "Don't forget your heritage"
You drive mostly Japanese cars.
You've learned to keep bargaining even if the prices are rock bottom
You've had to eat parts of animals they don't even put in hot dogs
At least once, you've started a joke with "Confucius say...."
You know what bok choy is
You've gotten little red envelopes around February
Piles of shoes tend to make it hard to open the front, back, and closet
doors
You hear (your name + eee (optional) + yah!) every time someone calls you
(e.g. Jean - ee - yah! or Mary - yah!)
You have no eyelashes
Idiot people try to impress you with pathetic imitation Asian languages,
like the ever-so-popular: ching chong woo bok chi, etc..
Your parents say leaving rice in your bowl is a sin
The Bio lectures on marine life (seaweed, sea cucumbers, octopii) was last
night's dinner
Your ancestors 1000 generations back invented the back scratcher
At least one family member wears black wire/plastic frame glasses
Your parents hover over your tired, caffeine-drugged body at 12 midnight
to say, "In Korea (or other native country), we studied even
more."
Your parents expect you'll be best friends with any one off the street in
any given area as long as they are Asian
An Asian woman comes on campus and people ask: "Is that your
mother?" Well then, "Is it your sister?"
Your relatives' houses smell like incense, mothballs or both
Your parents say, "Calculus? I took Calculus in 8th grade!"
Everyone thinks you're good at math
Your parents' vocabulary is filled with "ai-yahs, and Wah's"
You like $1.75 movies
You like $1.50 movies even more
Your aunts and uncles bring you back adorable clothing from Asia with
fuzzy bunnies, vinyl ducks, and English words that make no sense, in great
colors like yellow, pink, magenta, orange, and the ever popular lime green
Your parents insist you marry within your race
You never order chop suey, sweet and sour pork, or any other imitation of
oriental food
You either really, really want to go to UCI or really, really want to stay
away from it
Your parents have never kissed you
Your parents have never kissed each other
You learned about the birds and the bees from someone other than your
parents
"You want a stereo?! When I was your age, I didn't even have
shoes!!"
People see a bunch of scribbles on a chopstick and ask you to translate
You have to call just about all your parent's friends "Auntie and
Uncle"
You have 12+ aunts and uncles
At expensive restaurants, you order a delicious glass of water for your
beverage and NEVER order dessert
Your parents simply cut the green/black part off the bread and say
"Eat anyway. It's still good."
The vast majority of the people related to you wear glasses. Thick
glasses.
You will most likely be taller than your parents
Your parents have either make you play the piano, the violin, or both
You get nothing if you do well in school, but crapped on if you don't
When going to other people's houses, you always have to bring a gift
Your dad still pulls his socks up to his knees, you know, the ones with
the blue and pink stripes at the top
Your family owns a tennis racquet, golf clubs, or both
Your family always cheers for the Asian athlete on TV (i.e. Michael Chan)
The furniture in your house never matches the wallpaper, the carpet, the
decorations, or any of the rest of the furniture
You have rocks, sticks, leaves, and strange-smelling, unknown substances
in your pantry for use as medicine
You own a rice cooker or two
You buy soy sauce by the gallon
Your family owns butcher knives bigger than your head
Your parents tell you about how long it took for them to get to school,
how horrible the weather was in their native country, and how much they
still appreciated going
Your parents buy you clothes and shoes many sizes too big so you can
"grow into it" and wear it for years to come.