Fic: Graceless Heart by on_wax

[remuslives23]

Title: Graceless Heart
Username: on_wax
Art: The Same Boat by epithalamium
Word Count: 6,080
Rating: PG-13
Contains: *bad language, misunderstandings, bathing and pig-headedness*
Summary: If only Sirius wasn't so tactile with absolutely everyone, Remus might have had some idea.
Notes/comments: Thank you to all the mods, who have been so patient and understanding

Comments

[brighty18]

This was really awesome and a great use of the prompt. I love the sense of friendship the picture conveys, but you added the most delicious sense of masculine awkwardness to it. At first they were silent. Remus smoked and tried not to look at anything he shouldn't, while Sirius visibly relaxed and read his book, which he'd charmed waterproof. In the steam from the water, the tips of their hair curled and drips of condensation appeared on Sirius's eyelashes; when he blinked, it sometimes looked as though he was crying. Remus watched the trails of water down his cheeks as though it was rain on a car window.

Your description of Lily was particularly fascinating. Stepping back, he took her into focus; beautiful, as usual, though her hair wasn't brushed and her make-up was smudged at the corners of her eyes, as though she'd taken a nap. In a black velvet dress, the elegance of which should have been ruined by her habitual scuffed black boots, she looked quite stunning. Remus wished, momentarily, that he could be as lucky as James. I must

[brighty18]

You have us such a perfect portrait of Sirius, too. You really know him well in all his gorgeous, complex glory. It would not have been a problem, if it weren't for the fact that Sirius was almost bizarrely tactile. Remus hadn't been aware of it so much in their early years of friendship, when Sirius had still been shaking off years of strict obedience, he had been a shy, scared werewolf and neither of them had yet been quite close enough for the touches of friendship. In those days, Sirius always had a hug and a sloppy, joking kiss for James, but when it came to Remus, there were only slaps on the back and bracing half-hugs. And that had been fine. Remus didn't like being inundated with human touch. I’ve always seen Sirius as being tactile. He’s a dog, right? And, gawd knows, dogs are very touchy-feely. Oldman plays him that way, too, actually. This bit, too, seems very Sirius: when you accepted Sirius Black for all his excited eccentricities, you were also accepting the lows that came with them. While much of the time he was bright

[epithalamium]

I meant to leave a comment as soon as this fic was posted, but for some reason, my browser just WOULDN'T open LJ. Anyway, to more important matters:

THANKS SO MUCH FOR THIS, HUN! You know I always love reading your R/S fics because you write them so perfectly: I love how boyish they are, despite all these confusion about feelings, insecurity and just the plain awkwardness of falling for your best friend. What I mean is, they're never soppy or cheesy--they're just boys realising that they fancy each other, and I love that.

Remus's self-deprecating humour is something that I can totes relate to and something I enjoy, his little comments about getting tangled up with fairy lights and how he sometimes wished he can be alone is funny but at the same time, too true. I love how much he likes warm baths, the little details about his Cornish roots and the bracing baths he used to have as a child. The decidedly surreal convo Sirius and Remus had in the bath made me laugh, and it had that black and confusing humour that smacks of Withnail and

[epithalamium]

Also, I forgot to mention that I'm tickled pink (do people even say that anymore?) that you mentioned the jar labeled 'Happiness' by the window. I was actually expecting saveloy and chips, but one can't have everything, can one? ;D

[wwmrsweasleydo]

I really enjoyed this. You get inside both of their heads really well. Your prose is lovely. Lily was a great character, too.

[livinglibraries]

I want to wrap myself up in this story if that even makes sense - awkward boys, misunderstandings and affectionate!Sirius. Feel like breaking into song *these are a few of my favourite things*.

This idea just really grabbed my imagination for some reason:

'Witches and wizards used to use freezing charms on unsuspecting Muggles if they saw them making a particularly funny face.

Sirius getting in the bath with Remus and Remus thinking that it was a Sirius thing to do made me chuckle - I can see Sirius as being very affectionate and Remus not realising the small differences in Sirius' affections meaning different things was so cute.

Snuggles at the end ^.^

[xkeijukainenx]

WELL! I am going to just comment my way through from beginning to end and maybe you'll get an idea of how much I enjoyed this. ;)

So at Sirius's suggestion, they had all made their way to a pub in Whitechapel where the drinks were expensive and wherever Remus turned he found himself entangled in fairy lights (and wasn't that ironic).
Hehe that made me giggle a lot. <3 Just love the sarcasm of Remus's voice that's already coming through. And THANK YOU for making Dorcas not one of the cool kids. Not why her typical portrayal in some fics really irks me.

He presented himself as aloof and unaffected by matters of the heart, because after all, what werewolf deserved that kind of happiness? He was a danger to those he loved already, so why drag someone even further into the madness? And yet, there was Sirius. Defying his desires at every turn.
Oh poor little Remus! :( Feeling so sorry for himself. I loved the beginning of that paragraph also, the way you described Sirius draping himself all over everyone. <3

Sirius was still the same