The Great Cell Phone Caper
Title: The Great Cell Phone Caper (1/5)
Author: sinecure - My master fic list
Character/Pairing: Jeff/Annie, Chang (misc. characters make small appearances)
Rating: Later chapters are rated R (adult)
Word Count: 3,147
Genre: Humor, romance, smut, slight angst
Spoilers: Early season 3, before the hiatus.
Summary: Annie's cell phone gets locked away and she plans a break-in to retrieve it. Jeff catches on to her plans and goes to stop her, but gets roped into helping instead.
Disclaimer: I don't own Community and I make no money off of it.
A/N: So, the Community Big Bang is here! This is my entry, through much blood, sweat, tears, and whinging.
A/N 2: Big, huge thanks to na_thalia for the beta--all mistakes are mine, don't blame her--and teruel_a_witch for the support and shoulder to whinge on.
CHAPTER 1
Annie stared at the closed office doors, trying to see beyond them, into the dean's office with her non-existent x-ray vision.
She had to get in there, but her choices were limited.
She could walk in boldly.
Sneak in stealthily.
Or smash the side window, climb through the broken glass, grab her cell phone, and then run before someone caught up to her.
Okay, maybe she should just try option one first.
She reached out toward the double doors, wondering if an alarm would go off as soon as she touched the knob, or if there were motion sensors. Maybe armed chimps were waiting on the other side, with their crazy, insane eyes, fixed on any intruder, ready to--
"What are you doing? Office hours are over."
Annie yelped and pulled her hand back. Chang! Where the hell had he come from? Keeping her face turned toward the door for fear that he'd see her plans for going illegally into a space that she didn't belong written all over it, she sighed, trying to slow her racing heart.
Bright side? A fourth option had just presented itself.
"Chang, we're friends right?"
He snorted, but she plowed ahead anyway.
"The thing is... I need my phone and it's in the dean's office. So, can I just--"
"No."
"But--"
"Nope. Nada. Nuca."
She frowned and turned toward him, forgetting about what her face might tell him, because her guilt had been replaced by disbelief. This was the man they'd learned Spanish from? Really? "Nope, nothing, neck?"
"Okay, first of all, I'm not Chang-ing the subject because of any humiliation on my part--"
"Uh-huh."
"--I just don't want to talk to you any longer than I have to, because, let's face it, you're boring. Second of all, no! No one gets into the dean's office when he's not here. Not even you, boobs."
"Um, excuse me?" Wrapping her sweater tighter around her body, she pushed past being offended and moved onto annoyed. "But. I need my phone! I'm expecting a call. And," she glared at him, wondering where the somewhat rational, likeable... almost likeable Chang had gone, "I helped you." Frowning, she looked him over from head to toe. He was in the security guard uniform he always wore these days.
It was torn at the shoulder and there was a golden brown stain on his tie and all down the buttons. Mustard? Ew, gross.
"What happened to you getting your degree, anyway?"
He rolled his eyes and stuck one hand on his hip, doing his 'attitude' voice. "I found something better, obvs.."
"Obvs.?" Great. Her choice for number four was slipping completely away thanks to a guy who thought he was a 12-year-old girl. "Look, Chang. Ben. Can't you just--"
"I already told you, no."
"Which, in regards to Chang, is probably for the best."
Annie darted a look over her shoulder as Jeff sauntered toward them, eyes glued to his phone. "Annie, how many times have I told you not to tease the zoo animals?" His eyes jumped to hers for a brief moment, smirk riding his lips, before returning his gaze to the all-important phone in his hands.
"Jeff. Not helping." Returning her own attention back to Chang, hoping to appeal to his sense of... something, she used her sweet voice, the one usually reserved for making-- asking Jeff to do something for her. "Ben, please? It'll just take a second. In and then right back out again."
"Um...? Annie, are you propositioning Chang?"
Ignoring Jeff's question, she leaned closer to Chang, having to hold her breath because of the strong odor of cigar smoke wafting off of him. "No one ever has to know." Drawing back to save her nose and free her lungs from the nauseating taste of smoke lingering on him, she gave him a smile that she thought might've been more sickly than sweet, but hoped was more sweet than sickly.
"No!" There was no sympathy in his face, no understanding, just an annoyed glare. "Guess you should've thought about that before you kicked me out of your stupid study group."
"Um, we didn't kick you out. You were never in it."
Chang gasped, hurt appearing on his face. "You--"
"Technically, he was a part of the group for--"
Annie glared at Jeff, jaw tightening.
He backed away, hands held out defensively, though there was a roll of his eyes hovering on his face and a smirk riding his lips. He managed to refrain until she huffed and crossed her arms over her chest.
She came very close to stomping her foot on the floor before she halted the movement; she'd vowed not to throw a tantrum again. Being a mature, adult college student meant not throwing tantrums. It meant being strong and independent and grown up. It did not mean acting like a little kid when she didn't get her way. She'd already done that once this year, so she couldn't do it again. Darting a quick glance at Jeff, feeling shame wash over her again at her behavior a few months back during the mock U.N. debate, she sighed.
A little huffing wasn't immature, right? Britta and Troy did it all the time.
And Jeff too!
"Fine, Ben. Fine. You could've helped me out and maybe gotten on our good side, but--" She held her hand to his face, palm out, halting the objections he wasn't voicing. "No. It's too late now. Forget it, you lost your chance."
Chang narrowed his eyes at her. "Whatever."
"Come on, Ben. Stop embarrassing yourself. It's too late."
He snorted. "Yeah, right, Miss Delusional."
But!
Reverse psychology worked on Pierce. It was how they'd gotten him to stop eating cookies for lunch. It'd been easy enough to convince him the cookies in the cafeteria were a new, healthy snack and that he should eat them as much as possible. Since he hated doing anything that made sense health-wise, plus being told what to do, he'd quit eating them on his own. It sometimes worked on Shirley, too, when they pretended to act really intolerant of the things that Shirley was strongly opposed to. It was practically in Shirley's blood and definitely in her nature to defend the attacked.
But it wasn't working with Chang.
Why wasn't it working with Chang?
"Annie, at the risk of getting a visual that I have absolutely no hope of scrubbing from my brain... why are you trying to sweet-talk Chang?"
"My phone!" She gestured toward the office doors. And she may have stomped her foot just the teeniest, tiniest bit. Folding her arms back over her chest, she turned from Chang's smirking face to Jeff's understanding one. "The dean used it this afternoon because his was making a weird noise and the battery was low and his office phone wasn't working for some reason. He said he needed to send out some really important text messages, and yeah, I'm just now realizing that he might've lied and probably race-texted again. I feel stupid, but I need to get it back! I'm expecting a call tonight that I have to take."
And she really, really wanted to throw a fit. But! ...adult.
Jeff mumbled something about going to Denny's.
She rolled her eyes at his inattention. Him and his stupid phone. Ignoring the fact that she was currently in a crisis over her own phone, she turned her doe eyes to Chang.
"Good luck getting it before Monday, because this hall is off limits."
She faced Chang at his taunting tone, feeling anger sweep through her. "No, it's not."
"It will be if I have anything to say about it."
"Which, thankfully, you don't."
"Hey!" He got in her face, though it'd been Jeff who'd goaded him. "Get it through your head; there's not a Chang in hell that I'm helping you, boobs."
"Knock it off, Chang."
Though she appreciated Jeff leaping... or, slouching to her defense, she really didn't need him to. She could handle this herself. Straightening her back, she stood tall, towering over Chang by at least an inch. "I helped you decide to go back to school so you could get your teaching degree. I helped you--"
"You got me fired!"
"Okay. And, while, yes, that is technically true, and for reasons that I really don't need to go into now, I--" She exhaled heavily and faced the dean's office again. "I just need to get in there!"
Chang burst out laughing. "Not gonna happen, B. of A., not. Gonna. Happen."
"Chang, don't you have other students to harass or maybe some garbage to roll around in? Seriously, there are wavy lines coming off of you, Pigpen."
"Shut up, Winger!"
"Uh... no." He put his phone away finally, giving them his full attention. "Why don't you just let her in, let her get her phone, and be done with it?"
"I don't think so. The dean has one rule when he's not here; no one goes into his office. No one."
Annie whimpered. "But it's in there." She threw her hands out from her sides, gesturing to the dean's office again.
Jeff shrugged, heading toward the double doors. "So, let's go get it."
Annie only hesitated for a split second before following him. They'd done worse things in their time at Greendale, surely the dean would understand. He'd promised to give her phone back to her before he left for his weekend 'seminar', which she suspected had more to do with the furry outfit that'd been hastily shoved into a bag by the door than any seminar for deans, like he'd claimed.
"Stop right there, Jeff. Or I'll Tase you."
Jeff spun around at that, turning incredulous eyes Chang's way. "They gave you a Taser? Is everyone in this school deeply stupid?"
Annie gave him a little, rapidly-nodding head movement that said 'duh' in all 50 states. And parts of Canada. Because, duh!
He acknowledged her with a small nod, conceding the point. "Of course. Giving the lawsuit-waiting-to-happen a Taser is perfectly in line with this place." Stopping, he crossed his arms over his chest. "My fondest wish is that, when I'm practicing again, I can sue the pants off of--"
"Jeff! This is still our school, and I know it's been... strange, weird, difficult, odd, dangerous at times, freaky, and just-- did I mention odd? But school pride! You can't sue Greendale." She gave him a look under her lashes that was meant to convey comradeship, but she had the awful feeling it came across as flirty.
Sometimes that happened around Jeff.
"I mean... right? The butt-flag and nobody craps in it but us? Um, the school, not the-- and, and the paintball prize. Not to mention the dean's little freak out--"
"Little?"
"Okay, major freak out over the commercial, which, I might add, you did too. So."
"Relax, Annie. I was going to say 'Chang', not the school. Of course, if the school gets implicated a little too..." He shrugged carelessly.
Chang dropped his hand from the Taser holstered at his hip and swaggered over, getting in Jeff's face as much as he could from his significantly lower height. "Whatever. Why don't you and your little girlfriend--"
"We're not--"
"We're not--"
"--go flirt somewhere else? I have work to do, rounds to make. Important stuff." He glared at both of them in turn. "And I don't wanna catch you 'round these parts again." He tipped an imaginary hat at them, then turned and left, smacking into the fire extinguisher on the opposite wall. "Damn it! How many times have I told them to move this thing? God!" He strode off down the hall, leaving Annie and Jeff staring after him.
"What a moron."
"Yeah, but he's our moron."
"Uh, no. That's taking school pride a Grand Canyon too far."
Sudden sanity returned and Annie remembered that she still didn't have her phone. "Crap!" And then, in a tiny voice, "My phone."
"Just reschedule the call, you can use my phone. Or, I don't know, cancel or something? Problem solved."
"It's not that kind of a call. I can't just--" She eyed the doors, wondering if there was a way to slip a credit card or something in there to break in. They used to do that in the old days, she'd seen it a lot in the old movies and tv shows Abed watched. She could just slip her Greendale ID into the slot and--
"Annie?"
Right. She shouldn't. She shook herself, still eyeing the door. She shouldn't. Wouldn't. Definitely couldn't.
But the window around the side....
Jeff sighed next to her. "You're planning a break in, aren't you? And, while that may seem like a fun, madcap way to spend a Friday night, let me tell you what'll actually happen; jail, bad marks on your record, never getting hired--"
Snapping her attention back to him, she smiled, though it was brighter than it needed to be. Wider. "I-- no. Of course not, Jeff! That'd be... dumb." But easy. The dean's office window was on the south side, not completely visible to the street, or to--
He turned toward her with a quick spin, then grabbed her arm, drawing her down the hall a few steps. "Stop it."
"What? I'm not doing anything. You're the one dragging me away like a kid. Will you stop that?" Jerking her arm free, she smoothed down her sweater sleeve.
"Then stop acting like a kid." He leaned closer, and she had to fight to pay attention to what he was saying because his lips were so close and he was directing words at her instead of kisses. "Annie, you're not breaking into the dean's office. Chang is just looking for an excuse to Tase someone." He stared at the school with a mild frown before returning his attention to her. "What the hell is B. of A.?"
Annie sighed and wrapped her sweater even tighter around herself. "Boobs of Annie. He started calling me that last week. I don't know why."
Jeff's eyes resolutely stayed on her face, though they dipped down as far as her chin before he caught himself and jerked them back up. His mouth tightened and he moved back a few steps. "Oh."
"You're still here?"
They both jumped at the sound of Chang's voice behind them.
"It's after school and you've already gotten together with your study cabal. Go home."
"No." Jeff rolled his eyes and crossed to the office doors, trying the knob.
"Hey!"
It didn't budge but he shook it a few times anyway. Chang darted over to him, grabbing his arm and hauling him away. Jeff, being a good foot and a half taller, went along with an amused smirk.
Annie's plan solidified.
********
Jeff was pretty sure Chang had hurt himself dragging them out the door, which was the only reason he'd allowed him to do it. It amused Jeff to see Chang trying to act as if he had the control, as if he were in charge.
Annie's distracted manner, however, did not amuse him.
He had a pretty good feeling that he knew what she was planning since she couldn't seem to drag her eyes away from the admin building. Secretive, she was not.
Once Chang yanked the door shut behind them, dragging and pulling on the handle to close it quicker than it wanted to close, Jeff turned to Annie.
"Don't even think about it."
"Yeah, yeah. Monday. See you for the diorama, studying, books."
"Annie."
She jerked out of her mini trance and looked up at him innocently. "What? Oh, pssh. Doesn't matter. I'll just... get my phone on Monday, I guess." She turned her mouth down, shrugging in a helpless manner.
The gesture was so phony, he'd think she couldn't act. But he knew better. He'd seen her in action in that regard, several times. He stared her down silently.
"So." She pointed behind them to the parking lot. "I'll-- there's a thing on the radio that I wanted to read. You should go home. See you on Monday!" Turning in the direction her finger was pointing, she started toward the parking lot.
Staying where he was for just a moment, he watched her look over her shoulder three times in six steps, then headed after her with a warning call of her name.
Her pace quickened, hands tightening on her backpack straps.
Catching her easily enough with his longer strides, he halted her in the middle of the lot, somewhere between his car and hers. A few straggling students milled around here and there, but most were gone. If he hadn't had to return for the study sheets currently folded in his pocket, he would've been long gone too.
With no clue that Annie was planning a B&E.
For Danny? Stupid Danny; flirty, charming Danny. It irritated him the way she was always smiling at him, like he was just so interesting that she couldn't help it. Whatever.
Jeff was interesting too, he'd been a lawyer for god's sake. He had stories.
Most of them involved 9/11 and drunk drivers, which, admittedly weren't the funniest of stories in and of themselves, but the way he told them....
Annie tried hard to look innocently up at him, but ended up looking flirty instead, something he was sure she wasn't aware of. It was cute.
But. To business.
"Annie. Listen to me very carefully. If you break into the school--"
She gave a high-pitched, offended gasp. "What?" Faux offense traipsed across her face. "I'd never--"
"--you could get arrested. Or Tased. Chang isn't stable."
"Neither are you, apparently, because I'm not planning on breaking into the school. Pfft! I'm not stupid. I know what could happen and I'd never do anything like that."
"Like what? Chance the career that you mapped out for yourself when you were two? Because that's what could happen."
For a second, he thought he'd gotten through to her, but then she plastered that smile on her face again, the one that screamed loudly, for anyone and everyone to hear, that Annie Edison was fine and thanks for asking! Which, she clearly was not.
"Good thing I'm not doing that then, right? Because I'm not stupid, Jeff." She started toward her car, giving him an indulgent look over her shoulder, as if he was just the most adorable thing she'd ever seen for worrying about her, but, gosh, golly, gee, it was all for nothing.
She was completely innocent.
Yeah, right.
He watched her unlock her car. Watched her start it and drive off with a small wave. Then watched her leave the nearly empty lot with a last look back at him.
Completely innocent.
"Yeah. Right."
-
Chapter 2
Author: sinecure - My master fic list
Character/Pairing: Jeff/Annie, Chang (misc. characters make small appearances)
Rating: Later chapters are rated R (adult)
Word Count: 3,147
Genre: Humor, romance, smut, slight angst
Spoilers: Early season 3, before the hiatus.
Summary: Annie's cell phone gets locked away and she plans a break-in to retrieve it. Jeff catches on to her plans and goes to stop her, but gets roped into helping instead.
Disclaimer: I don't own Community and I make no money off of it.
A/N: So, the Community Big Bang is here! This is my entry, through much blood, sweat, tears, and whinging.
A/N 2: Big, huge thanks to na_thalia for the beta--all mistakes are mine, don't blame her--and teruel_a_witch for the support and shoulder to whinge on.
CHAPTER 1
Annie stared at the closed office doors, trying to see beyond them, into the dean's office with her non-existent x-ray vision.
She had to get in there, but her choices were limited.
She could walk in boldly.
Sneak in stealthily.
Or smash the side window, climb through the broken glass, grab her cell phone, and then run before someone caught up to her.
Okay, maybe she should just try option one first.
She reached out toward the double doors, wondering if an alarm would go off as soon as she touched the knob, or if there were motion sensors. Maybe armed chimps were waiting on the other side, with their crazy, insane eyes, fixed on any intruder, ready to--
"What are you doing? Office hours are over."
Annie yelped and pulled her hand back. Chang! Where the hell had he come from? Keeping her face turned toward the door for fear that he'd see her plans for going illegally into a space that she didn't belong written all over it, she sighed, trying to slow her racing heart.
Bright side? A fourth option had just presented itself.
"Chang, we're friends right?"
He snorted, but she plowed ahead anyway.
"The thing is... I need my phone and it's in the dean's office. So, can I just--"
"No."
"But--"
"Nope. Nada. Nuca."
She frowned and turned toward him, forgetting about what her face might tell him, because her guilt had been replaced by disbelief. This was the man they'd learned Spanish from? Really? "Nope, nothing, neck?"
"Okay, first of all, I'm not Chang-ing the subject because of any humiliation on my part--"
"Uh-huh."
"--I just don't want to talk to you any longer than I have to, because, let's face it, you're boring. Second of all, no! No one gets into the dean's office when he's not here. Not even you, boobs."
"Um, excuse me?" Wrapping her sweater tighter around her body, she pushed past being offended and moved onto annoyed. "But. I need my phone! I'm expecting a call. And," she glared at him, wondering where the somewhat rational, likeable... almost likeable Chang had gone, "I helped you." Frowning, she looked him over from head to toe. He was in the security guard uniform he always wore these days.
It was torn at the shoulder and there was a golden brown stain on his tie and all down the buttons. Mustard? Ew, gross.
"What happened to you getting your degree, anyway?"
He rolled his eyes and stuck one hand on his hip, doing his 'attitude' voice. "I found something better, obvs.."
"Obvs.?" Great. Her choice for number four was slipping completely away thanks to a guy who thought he was a 12-year-old girl. "Look, Chang. Ben. Can't you just--"
"I already told you, no."
"Which, in regards to Chang, is probably for the best."
Annie darted a look over her shoulder as Jeff sauntered toward them, eyes glued to his phone. "Annie, how many times have I told you not to tease the zoo animals?" His eyes jumped to hers for a brief moment, smirk riding his lips, before returning his gaze to the all-important phone in his hands.
"Jeff. Not helping." Returning her own attention back to Chang, hoping to appeal to his sense of... something, she used her sweet voice, the one usually reserved for making-- asking Jeff to do something for her. "Ben, please? It'll just take a second. In and then right back out again."
"Um...? Annie, are you propositioning Chang?"
Ignoring Jeff's question, she leaned closer to Chang, having to hold her breath because of the strong odor of cigar smoke wafting off of him. "No one ever has to know." Drawing back to save her nose and free her lungs from the nauseating taste of smoke lingering on him, she gave him a smile that she thought might've been more sickly than sweet, but hoped was more sweet than sickly.
"No!" There was no sympathy in his face, no understanding, just an annoyed glare. "Guess you should've thought about that before you kicked me out of your stupid study group."
"Um, we didn't kick you out. You were never in it."
Chang gasped, hurt appearing on his face. "You--"
"Technically, he was a part of the group for--"
Annie glared at Jeff, jaw tightening.
He backed away, hands held out defensively, though there was a roll of his eyes hovering on his face and a smirk riding his lips. He managed to refrain until she huffed and crossed her arms over her chest.
She came very close to stomping her foot on the floor before she halted the movement; she'd vowed not to throw a tantrum again. Being a mature, adult college student meant not throwing tantrums. It meant being strong and independent and grown up. It did not mean acting like a little kid when she didn't get her way. She'd already done that once this year, so she couldn't do it again. Darting a quick glance at Jeff, feeling shame wash over her again at her behavior a few months back during the mock U.N. debate, she sighed.
A little huffing wasn't immature, right? Britta and Troy did it all the time.
And Jeff too!
"Fine, Ben. Fine. You could've helped me out and maybe gotten on our good side, but--" She held her hand to his face, palm out, halting the objections he wasn't voicing. "No. It's too late now. Forget it, you lost your chance."
Chang narrowed his eyes at her. "Whatever."
"Come on, Ben. Stop embarrassing yourself. It's too late."
He snorted. "Yeah, right, Miss Delusional."
But!
Reverse psychology worked on Pierce. It was how they'd gotten him to stop eating cookies for lunch. It'd been easy enough to convince him the cookies in the cafeteria were a new, healthy snack and that he should eat them as much as possible. Since he hated doing anything that made sense health-wise, plus being told what to do, he'd quit eating them on his own. It sometimes worked on Shirley, too, when they pretended to act really intolerant of the things that Shirley was strongly opposed to. It was practically in Shirley's blood and definitely in her nature to defend the attacked.
But it wasn't working with Chang.
Why wasn't it working with Chang?
"Annie, at the risk of getting a visual that I have absolutely no hope of scrubbing from my brain... why are you trying to sweet-talk Chang?"
"My phone!" She gestured toward the office doors. And she may have stomped her foot just the teeniest, tiniest bit. Folding her arms back over her chest, she turned from Chang's smirking face to Jeff's understanding one. "The dean used it this afternoon because his was making a weird noise and the battery was low and his office phone wasn't working for some reason. He said he needed to send out some really important text messages, and yeah, I'm just now realizing that he might've lied and probably race-texted again. I feel stupid, but I need to get it back! I'm expecting a call tonight that I have to take."
And she really, really wanted to throw a fit. But! ...adult.
Jeff mumbled something about going to Denny's.
She rolled her eyes at his inattention. Him and his stupid phone. Ignoring the fact that she was currently in a crisis over her own phone, she turned her doe eyes to Chang.
"Good luck getting it before Monday, because this hall is off limits."
She faced Chang at his taunting tone, feeling anger sweep through her. "No, it's not."
"It will be if I have anything to say about it."
"Which, thankfully, you don't."
"Hey!" He got in her face, though it'd been Jeff who'd goaded him. "Get it through your head; there's not a Chang in hell that I'm helping you, boobs."
"Knock it off, Chang."
Though she appreciated Jeff leaping... or, slouching to her defense, she really didn't need him to. She could handle this herself. Straightening her back, she stood tall, towering over Chang by at least an inch. "I helped you decide to go back to school so you could get your teaching degree. I helped you--"
"You got me fired!"
"Okay. And, while, yes, that is technically true, and for reasons that I really don't need to go into now, I--" She exhaled heavily and faced the dean's office again. "I just need to get in there!"
Chang burst out laughing. "Not gonna happen, B. of A., not. Gonna. Happen."
"Chang, don't you have other students to harass or maybe some garbage to roll around in? Seriously, there are wavy lines coming off of you, Pigpen."
"Shut up, Winger!"
"Uh... no." He put his phone away finally, giving them his full attention. "Why don't you just let her in, let her get her phone, and be done with it?"
"I don't think so. The dean has one rule when he's not here; no one goes into his office. No one."
Annie whimpered. "But it's in there." She threw her hands out from her sides, gesturing to the dean's office again.
Jeff shrugged, heading toward the double doors. "So, let's go get it."
Annie only hesitated for a split second before following him. They'd done worse things in their time at Greendale, surely the dean would understand. He'd promised to give her phone back to her before he left for his weekend 'seminar', which she suspected had more to do with the furry outfit that'd been hastily shoved into a bag by the door than any seminar for deans, like he'd claimed.
"Stop right there, Jeff. Or I'll Tase you."
Jeff spun around at that, turning incredulous eyes Chang's way. "They gave you a Taser? Is everyone in this school deeply stupid?"
Annie gave him a little, rapidly-nodding head movement that said 'duh' in all 50 states. And parts of Canada. Because, duh!
He acknowledged her with a small nod, conceding the point. "Of course. Giving the lawsuit-waiting-to-happen a Taser is perfectly in line with this place." Stopping, he crossed his arms over his chest. "My fondest wish is that, when I'm practicing again, I can sue the pants off of--"
"Jeff! This is still our school, and I know it's been... strange, weird, difficult, odd, dangerous at times, freaky, and just-- did I mention odd? But school pride! You can't sue Greendale." She gave him a look under her lashes that was meant to convey comradeship, but she had the awful feeling it came across as flirty.
Sometimes that happened around Jeff.
"I mean... right? The butt-flag and nobody craps in it but us? Um, the school, not the-- and, and the paintball prize. Not to mention the dean's little freak out--"
"Little?"
"Okay, major freak out over the commercial, which, I might add, you did too. So."
"Relax, Annie. I was going to say 'Chang', not the school. Of course, if the school gets implicated a little too..." He shrugged carelessly.
Chang dropped his hand from the Taser holstered at his hip and swaggered over, getting in Jeff's face as much as he could from his significantly lower height. "Whatever. Why don't you and your little girlfriend--"
"We're not--"
"We're not--"
"--go flirt somewhere else? I have work to do, rounds to make. Important stuff." He glared at both of them in turn. "And I don't wanna catch you 'round these parts again." He tipped an imaginary hat at them, then turned and left, smacking into the fire extinguisher on the opposite wall. "Damn it! How many times have I told them to move this thing? God!" He strode off down the hall, leaving Annie and Jeff staring after him.
"What a moron."
"Yeah, but he's our moron."
"Uh, no. That's taking school pride a Grand Canyon too far."
Sudden sanity returned and Annie remembered that she still didn't have her phone. "Crap!" And then, in a tiny voice, "My phone."
"Just reschedule the call, you can use my phone. Or, I don't know, cancel or something? Problem solved."
"It's not that kind of a call. I can't just--" She eyed the doors, wondering if there was a way to slip a credit card or something in there to break in. They used to do that in the old days, she'd seen it a lot in the old movies and tv shows Abed watched. She could just slip her Greendale ID into the slot and--
"Annie?"
Right. She shouldn't. She shook herself, still eyeing the door. She shouldn't. Wouldn't. Definitely couldn't.
But the window around the side....
Jeff sighed next to her. "You're planning a break in, aren't you? And, while that may seem like a fun, madcap way to spend a Friday night, let me tell you what'll actually happen; jail, bad marks on your record, never getting hired--"
Snapping her attention back to him, she smiled, though it was brighter than it needed to be. Wider. "I-- no. Of course not, Jeff! That'd be... dumb." But easy. The dean's office window was on the south side, not completely visible to the street, or to--
He turned toward her with a quick spin, then grabbed her arm, drawing her down the hall a few steps. "Stop it."
"What? I'm not doing anything. You're the one dragging me away like a kid. Will you stop that?" Jerking her arm free, she smoothed down her sweater sleeve.
"Then stop acting like a kid." He leaned closer, and she had to fight to pay attention to what he was saying because his lips were so close and he was directing words at her instead of kisses. "Annie, you're not breaking into the dean's office. Chang is just looking for an excuse to Tase someone." He stared at the school with a mild frown before returning his attention to her. "What the hell is B. of A.?"
Annie sighed and wrapped her sweater even tighter around herself. "Boobs of Annie. He started calling me that last week. I don't know why."
Jeff's eyes resolutely stayed on her face, though they dipped down as far as her chin before he caught himself and jerked them back up. His mouth tightened and he moved back a few steps. "Oh."
"You're still here?"
They both jumped at the sound of Chang's voice behind them.
"It's after school and you've already gotten together with your study cabal. Go home."
"No." Jeff rolled his eyes and crossed to the office doors, trying the knob.
"Hey!"
It didn't budge but he shook it a few times anyway. Chang darted over to him, grabbing his arm and hauling him away. Jeff, being a good foot and a half taller, went along with an amused smirk.
Annie's plan solidified.
********
Jeff was pretty sure Chang had hurt himself dragging them out the door, which was the only reason he'd allowed him to do it. It amused Jeff to see Chang trying to act as if he had the control, as if he were in charge.
Annie's distracted manner, however, did not amuse him.
He had a pretty good feeling that he knew what she was planning since she couldn't seem to drag her eyes away from the admin building. Secretive, she was not.
Once Chang yanked the door shut behind them, dragging and pulling on the handle to close it quicker than it wanted to close, Jeff turned to Annie.
"Don't even think about it."
"Yeah, yeah. Monday. See you for the diorama, studying, books."
"Annie."
She jerked out of her mini trance and looked up at him innocently. "What? Oh, pssh. Doesn't matter. I'll just... get my phone on Monday, I guess." She turned her mouth down, shrugging in a helpless manner.
The gesture was so phony, he'd think she couldn't act. But he knew better. He'd seen her in action in that regard, several times. He stared her down silently.
"So." She pointed behind them to the parking lot. "I'll-- there's a thing on the radio that I wanted to read. You should go home. See you on Monday!" Turning in the direction her finger was pointing, she started toward the parking lot.
Staying where he was for just a moment, he watched her look over her shoulder three times in six steps, then headed after her with a warning call of her name.
Her pace quickened, hands tightening on her backpack straps.
Catching her easily enough with his longer strides, he halted her in the middle of the lot, somewhere between his car and hers. A few straggling students milled around here and there, but most were gone. If he hadn't had to return for the study sheets currently folded in his pocket, he would've been long gone too.
With no clue that Annie was planning a B&E.
For Danny? Stupid Danny; flirty, charming Danny. It irritated him the way she was always smiling at him, like he was just so interesting that she couldn't help it. Whatever.
Jeff was interesting too, he'd been a lawyer for god's sake. He had stories.
Most of them involved 9/11 and drunk drivers, which, admittedly weren't the funniest of stories in and of themselves, but the way he told them....
Annie tried hard to look innocently up at him, but ended up looking flirty instead, something he was sure she wasn't aware of. It was cute.
But. To business.
"Annie. Listen to me very carefully. If you break into the school--"
She gave a high-pitched, offended gasp. "What?" Faux offense traipsed across her face. "I'd never--"
"--you could get arrested. Or Tased. Chang isn't stable."
"Neither are you, apparently, because I'm not planning on breaking into the school. Pfft! I'm not stupid. I know what could happen and I'd never do anything like that."
"Like what? Chance the career that you mapped out for yourself when you were two? Because that's what could happen."
For a second, he thought he'd gotten through to her, but then she plastered that smile on her face again, the one that screamed loudly, for anyone and everyone to hear, that Annie Edison was fine and thanks for asking! Which, she clearly was not.
"Good thing I'm not doing that then, right? Because I'm not stupid, Jeff." She started toward her car, giving him an indulgent look over her shoulder, as if he was just the most adorable thing she'd ever seen for worrying about her, but, gosh, golly, gee, it was all for nothing.
She was completely innocent.
Yeah, right.
He watched her unlock her car. Watched her start it and drive off with a small wave. Then watched her leave the nearly empty lot with a last look back at him.
Completely innocent.
"Yeah. Right."
-
Chapter 2