Still Looking (part of the Glimpses series) 2nd Ch. of Caught Looking
Title: Still Looking (chapter 2 of Caught Looking)
Author: sinecure - My master fic list
Character/Pairing: Ten, Rose
Rating: Teen
Genre: AU, angst, romance
Summary: He just can't stop it.
Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who.
Author's Notes: To momdaegmorgan for the beta.
"You're doing it again."
"I can't help it," the Doctor sighed. "It's amazing. A miracle of life and-- nine hundred years and I've never delivered a baby. Can you believe that? I mean the odds against it are pretty astronomical, right? Especially the way we go hopping about time and space."
Rose grinned at him as he swung their clasped hands between them. "Hopping for our lives?" She hopped once beside him, and tossed him a wink.
"You do remember!"
She shrugged, smirking. "Never said I didn't. And, you know, it is amazing, you not having delivered a baby, what with your luck and all."
"I know!" Watching the pregnant Lartushna pass by, he turned to stare a bit before spinning back around. "Never even been present during a birth."
"What? Never?" she asked, disbelief filling her voice, frowning when he shook his head. "But, you said you were a dad. And that's... that's just weird, you being a dad." She grinned, bumping his shoulder with her own. "Can't imagine you changing nappies."
Losing his smile, he tossed her a distracted look. "Yeah, I... wasn't there when my daughter was born. It really wasn't done. And, I was..." Staring into the distance, past the blue-leaved trees and the yellow grass, he tried to distance himself from the memories, but even after all this time it was so hard to do. "...I was not the best father. Wasn't interested in it really. Didn't like it much, being a father."
She was silent for half a dozen steps, the sounds of their breathing and the local wildlife filling the gap. "So, your wi-- wife? She, uh--"
Taking a deep breath, trying to shove the memories free for another hour, he shook himself, drawing in a breath of the crisp, clean air. "She took care of--" Sniffing sharply, he bit back the name on his lips. Words had power, names most of all. If he didn't say it, then he wouldn't feel it.
The lie never worked.
"Had a bit of the wanderlust in me and I left them behind. She didn't much care anyway. Arranged marriage and all that."
"Oh."
And that really said it all now, didn't it?
"What'd you do, go down the local shop for a pack of smokes and never come back?" she teased, though there was no amusement in her voice and the words fell flat between them.
Here he was, eight hundred years later and no closer to satisfying that wanderlust in him. Leaving people behind, being left behind. It was all just one giant kaleidoscope, his life. Ever changing, yet somewhat structured; always a companion, always lives to save, always an alien to fight.
Sighing, he tightened his fingers around Rose's. He'd almost lost her once and that hurt. Nearly more than any other. Nearly. There was Susan. And her mother. His people. A few others along the way.
But, now Rose was here, and he wasn't about to let her go again. She'd be by his side for years. Forever, according to her. Canary Wharf couldn't separate them, and nothing else would either.
He'd see to that.
"D'you remember when I told you I had a biological clock?" he asked, trying not to sound as strained or on edge as he felt.
Her grin was back in the blink of an eye. "Oi, you're not foolin' me with that again, so don't even try it."
"Well... I was actually telling the truth. I do have a biological clock. Of sorts. Not like you humans do. It's more an imperative. Bit of an urge really. Every hundred years or so we get the urge to... mateandhavechildren."
She tossed him that look again, the one that said she half believed him and half didn't. But she must've decided he was teasing her. She grinned at him. "I've got your number now, so don't even."
Chuckling to himself, he shook his head. He'd screwed it up this time. She'd never believe him now.
"You're kidding of course." It was a statement, as if she weren't even allowing the possibility that it could be true enter her mind.
"Not this time. Then I was. Back in the TARDIS the other day. Well, I was kidding about kidding. Now I'm serious."
She stopped walking and turned toward him, brows sky high. Before she could say anything, he rushed on.
"I was afraid that, after all that fuss about staying with me forever, you might change your mind if you found out that I get..." searching for a nice, delicate way to phrase it, he pulled at his hair, a habit he was beginning to do too often lately.
"Horny?" she blurted, then widened her eyes, dropping his hand to smack hers over her mouth.
"Not as such, no." Feeling the loss of her hand, he shoved his deep into his pockets. "It's more a leftover trait never removed when children were--" Sighing, he realized he'd never told her about that. "We don't... my people, we don't--didn't--have children through the birthing process. Not-- not for many, many years. It was something that was done to Time Lords and Time Ladies long ago. And, as a result, babies were made from DNA combined from both parents."
"Not through sex?" she clarified, shifting on the path as another Lartushna passed them by.
"Not through sex," he confirmed.
"So, the urge to mate-- you did say mate, didn't you?" He nodded. "These urges you get to... mate, they're not like a human would get, yeah?"
Taking a deep breath, he grabbed her hand and drew her back toward the TARDIS. "No, they're not like that."
Sounding a bit forced, she chuckled and then sighed. "Oh."
There was definite disappointment in her voice, manner, and everything about her. He smiled to himself, then leaned down near her ear, whispering, "It's much, much stronger."
Her steps faltered.
Author: sinecure - My master fic list
Character/Pairing: Ten, Rose
Rating: Teen
Genre: AU, angst, romance
Summary: He just can't stop it.
Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who.
Author's Notes: To momdaegmorgan for the beta.
"You're doing it again."
"I can't help it," the Doctor sighed. "It's amazing. A miracle of life and-- nine hundred years and I've never delivered a baby. Can you believe that? I mean the odds against it are pretty astronomical, right? Especially the way we go hopping about time and space."
Rose grinned at him as he swung their clasped hands between them. "Hopping for our lives?" She hopped once beside him, and tossed him a wink.
"You do remember!"
She shrugged, smirking. "Never said I didn't. And, you know, it is amazing, you not having delivered a baby, what with your luck and all."
"I know!" Watching the pregnant Lartushna pass by, he turned to stare a bit before spinning back around. "Never even been present during a birth."
"What? Never?" she asked, disbelief filling her voice, frowning when he shook his head. "But, you said you were a dad. And that's... that's just weird, you being a dad." She grinned, bumping his shoulder with her own. "Can't imagine you changing nappies."
Losing his smile, he tossed her a distracted look. "Yeah, I... wasn't there when my daughter was born. It really wasn't done. And, I was..." Staring into the distance, past the blue-leaved trees and the yellow grass, he tried to distance himself from the memories, but even after all this time it was so hard to do. "...I was not the best father. Wasn't interested in it really. Didn't like it much, being a father."
She was silent for half a dozen steps, the sounds of their breathing and the local wildlife filling the gap. "So, your wi-- wife? She, uh--"
Taking a deep breath, trying to shove the memories free for another hour, he shook himself, drawing in a breath of the crisp, clean air. "She took care of--" Sniffing sharply, he bit back the name on his lips. Words had power, names most of all. If he didn't say it, then he wouldn't feel it.
The lie never worked.
"Had a bit of the wanderlust in me and I left them behind. She didn't much care anyway. Arranged marriage and all that."
"Oh."
And that really said it all now, didn't it?
"What'd you do, go down the local shop for a pack of smokes and never come back?" she teased, though there was no amusement in her voice and the words fell flat between them.
Here he was, eight hundred years later and no closer to satisfying that wanderlust in him. Leaving people behind, being left behind. It was all just one giant kaleidoscope, his life. Ever changing, yet somewhat structured; always a companion, always lives to save, always an alien to fight.
Sighing, he tightened his fingers around Rose's. He'd almost lost her once and that hurt. Nearly more than any other. Nearly. There was Susan. And her mother. His people. A few others along the way.
But, now Rose was here, and he wasn't about to let her go again. She'd be by his side for years. Forever, according to her. Canary Wharf couldn't separate them, and nothing else would either.
He'd see to that.
"D'you remember when I told you I had a biological clock?" he asked, trying not to sound as strained or on edge as he felt.
Her grin was back in the blink of an eye. "Oi, you're not foolin' me with that again, so don't even try it."
"Well... I was actually telling the truth. I do have a biological clock. Of sorts. Not like you humans do. It's more an imperative. Bit of an urge really. Every hundred years or so we get the urge to... mateandhavechildren."
She tossed him that look again, the one that said she half believed him and half didn't. But she must've decided he was teasing her. She grinned at him. "I've got your number now, so don't even."
Chuckling to himself, he shook his head. He'd screwed it up this time. She'd never believe him now.
"You're kidding of course." It was a statement, as if she weren't even allowing the possibility that it could be true enter her mind.
"Not this time. Then I was. Back in the TARDIS the other day. Well, I was kidding about kidding. Now I'm serious."
She stopped walking and turned toward him, brows sky high. Before she could say anything, he rushed on.
"I was afraid that, after all that fuss about staying with me forever, you might change your mind if you found out that I get..." searching for a nice, delicate way to phrase it, he pulled at his hair, a habit he was beginning to do too often lately.
"Horny?" she blurted, then widened her eyes, dropping his hand to smack hers over her mouth.
"Not as such, no." Feeling the loss of her hand, he shoved his deep into his pockets. "It's more a leftover trait never removed when children were--" Sighing, he realized he'd never told her about that. "We don't... my people, we don't--didn't--have children through the birthing process. Not-- not for many, many years. It was something that was done to Time Lords and Time Ladies long ago. And, as a result, babies were made from DNA combined from both parents."
"Not through sex?" she clarified, shifting on the path as another Lartushna passed them by.
"Not through sex," he confirmed.
"So, the urge to mate-- you did say mate, didn't you?" He nodded. "These urges you get to... mate, they're not like a human would get, yeah?"
Taking a deep breath, he grabbed her hand and drew her back toward the TARDIS. "No, they're not like that."
Sounding a bit forced, she chuckled and then sighed. "Oh."
There was definite disappointment in her voice, manner, and everything about her. He smiled to himself, then leaned down near her ear, whispering, "It's much, much stronger."
Her steps faltered.