Fic: You've Got to Hide Your Love Away (1/17)
Title: You've Got to Hide Your Love Away (1/17)
Rating: I'm going with PG-13 but I'm not really good with ratings
Characters: Ten, Rose, Jack, Tosh, Ianto, Gwen, Owen, Pete, Jackie, Mickey, Jake, Martha, other characters
Spoilers: Anything up till the end of season three is fair game
Summary: The sequel to Mrs. Jones You've Got a Lovely Daughter and part of my Homesick In Heaven series.Rose is back, has been for awhile now, and the Doctor is none the wiser. She's making a go of it and life is good...as good as it can be without him by her side. But what happens when forces beyond her control bring the two of them back together? What happens when the Doctor finds out she's been hiding from him all these months? Will Rose reveal her deepest, darkest secrets to him before it's too late?
Author's Note: Huge thanks to
the_magpye for her thoughts on this chapter and SnowFox3 over on FanFiction.net for her continuing patience in beta'ing this story despite having finals to deal with!
~~~
Four months have passed since Rose Tyler found herself back in the one place she longed to be more then anywhere else. Sixteen weeks since she won the fight to return to her proper universe…the Doctor’s universe. The happy reunion has been scratched however and instead she finds herself a member of the Torchwood team. Fighting the good fight against forces that would threaten this world isn’t the same though; not when you’re grounded to Earth instead of traveling amongst the stars with the man you love.
~~~
He can feel a headache coming on, right there at the very edge of his temples. Too much paperwork always seems to bring on this sort of reaction from his body, which is why he keeps an emergency bottle of Aspirin in his desk.
Pouring some water from the carafe Ianto considerately left for him, he’s about to go digging for the pain pills when there’s a sharp knock on the door. “Enter,” he calls out, closing the desk drawer with a sigh. It’ll have to wait for now.
“Jack,” Toshiko addresses him, pausing hesitantly in the entryway.
“Tosh,” he nods in acknowledgment. Normally he'd wave her in, offer her a seat and maybe something to drink, but right now he just wants to get this conversation over with as quick as possible. “What can I do for you today?” The pounding in his head is getting worse and he still has the huge stack of forms that need to be filled out staring him in the face.
“I ah…I think there’s something you ought to see.”
“Alright,” he gives her a nod and though he's reluctant to leave the quiet of his office he rises from his seat without hesitation. Knowing Tosh, it must be something important if she’s interrupting him when she knows he’s busy. “Lead on.”
He follows her to the center of the hub where her desk is located, a prime spot for the resident computer expert. Glancing at the numerous screens reveals nothing out of the ordinary. Rift activity at least seems minimal he notes with some impatience. She’s clearly upset about something but without the threat of impending doom or alien invasion he’s not really sure what.
“I should’ve noticed this earlier,” she finally speaks her voice so quiet he has to strain to hear. “But I…” She shakes her head, obviously in great turmoil over whatever it is that the great and infallible Tosh didn’t catch the first time around.
“Hey,” he starts, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. If that’s all she’s so worked up about - that something, somehow managed to slip past her - she’s got nothing to worry about. “We all make mistakes sometimes. I’m sure whatever it is isn’t that dire or we’d all be blown to bits by now,” he continues in an attempt at lightening the mood - complete with signature grin - but she doesn’t even notice.
Focusing instead on the task at hand, Tosh allows her adept fingers to fly across the keyboard; searching for the right folder, the correct file. When she finally finds it she takes a deep breath then squeaks out, “It was logged into the computer a little over two months ago.”
The sudden crunch of static indicates to him that the source of her distress is an audio file and a poor quality one at that. At first he can barely hear anything and it takes him a few seconds before he even realizes there’s someone talking.
“..is is .ete t…. .. .or…od, lo...n We … un… attack … ne.. …istance.”
“Can you clear it up a little; get rid of some of the background noise?”
Tosh nods, enters a few commands into the computer and suddenly everything goes quiet. He’s just about to ask if that’s the end of the transmission when the now-identified voice comes through once more, this time loud and oh so painfully clear.
“I repeat this is Pete Tyler of Torchwood, London. We are under attack and need assistance. Please respond!”
~~~
It has been so long since the last time Rose was on a proper shopping spree she had forgotten how cathartic it could be. It never ceases to amaze her how a few shops and a little extra cash to spare (or, in this case, someone else's credit card) can make your worries practically disappear.
It’s not just about having a good time - though after everything she’s been through lately she can’t help but feel she deserves a little TLC - but also a trip of necessity. With only the clothes she came through the rift in and what little Gwen could spare, she was definitely in dire need of a new wardrobe.
Up until just a few days ago though a trip like this would’ve been out of the question. There had been a large increase in unusual power surges, minor alien threats, and the appearance of suspicious rift-raft to deal with. Everyone refused to admit to it but, after pouring over previous mission reports, Rose knew it had all started around the time of her arrival and despite the steady decline in missions over the last week she had almost refused to stray so far from work. Jack had insisted however, saying that they’d be fine without his Torchwood girls, as he insisted on calling them, for a few hours.
Gwen had jumped at the idea but Tosh opted to stay behind, citing an overload of backed up work that needed her attention. Rose knew better though. No matter how hard she tried to befriend the petite Asian, she always seemed so distant, so aloof when it came to Rose. She was pretty sure it had something to do with Owen and his initial attraction to her, but Tosh had nothing to worry about as Rose had absolutely no interest whatsoever in this particular doctor.
So after spending hours away from the hub - and way too much of Jack’s money - the two of them returned to Torchwood, arms laden with purchases. Luckily Ianto, ever the gentleman, opened the doors as neither had a free hand to do so themselves. Rose didn’t miss the way he arched an eyebrow in the direction of the many multi-colored bags they carried or the way his eyes sparkled with amusement despite the almost stoic expression on his face.
She can’t help but giggle at him, always the one respectable member of the team and yet so full of mischief. His face breaks into a grin as he ushers them through the next door and before it closes behind them she can hear him chuckling to himself. She doesn’t even know what’s so funny but soon her and Gwen are on the floor in hysterics, an occasional snort escaping unchecked from both.
It’s so good to feel happy again that she doesn’t care if they’re making fools of themselves. It’s been so very long since she truly smiled and she can’t recall the last time she laughed at all. Oh, the sadness is still there - it’ll never go away and she knows it - but it’s pushed so far back, it’s so out-of-reach that she can almost forget it ever existed.
Then, as quickly as it began, it’s over. One look at Jack’s face and she knows something is wrong. What she doesn’t realize is just how serious it is…or that those moments of pure joy she just experienced will be her last for many months to come.
“Jack, what is it?” Gwen recovers first, rushing over to him but stops short when she sees he’s staring straight at Rose.
“Jack” Rose asks as she slowly stands and brushes herself off. He’s starting to frighten her the way he hasn’t even blinked.
“Tosh?” Gwen turns to the Asian woman for help.
“I…” she gives Gwen a vacant look then shakes her head and turns away.
“Jack, you’re scaring me.”
At the sound of Rose's voice he jumps slightly and screws up his face in what she is sure an attempt at reassurance. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to…I just…” Scratching his head he looks so unsure of himself, so nervous and this frightens her even more. She can’t recall a time she’s ever seen Captain Jack Harkness without his usual self-assurance, his typical bravado.
She walks up to him and takes his hand in her smaller one, giving him a slight smile. “It’s alright.” Pulling him towards a couple of nearby chairs she continues, “Jus’ tell me what’s wrong, yeah? Whatever it is I’m sure we can get through it together.”
His eyes grow misty at that and she’s afraid he’s about to cry. But he catches himself and suddenly he’s guiding her, past the chairs and towards his office. “Let’s talk someplace private.”
~~~
It takes some convincing but Tosh finally explains to Gwen what’s happening.
Rose's family living an impossibly unreachable distance away is in danger. What kind of danger Jack’s not sure but something’s happening over there in that alternate universe and there’s nothing they can do to stop it. If there’s even anything left to stop, after all it’s been three months since the transmission, the call for help, was sent.
Gwen can tell Tosh is taking it hard. She’s upset and guilt is writ all over her face. Though Gwen is certain she’d feel the same way, she wishes she could convince her teammate - her friend - that it’s not all her fault. Even if they had discovered the distress signal sooner there was nothing they could’ve done about it.
She wants so badly to give Tosh these reassurances but she can’t tear her attention away from the scene unfolding upstairs in Jacks’ office. She has to shift to the other side of the room, straining her neck just to catch a glimpse of what’s happening. It makes her feel sick to her stomach when she realizes she’s acting just like the onlookers after a car accident, slowing down to gawk at the human tragedy sprawled out on the pavement.
~~~
At first she doesn’t respond; doesn’t say anything or make any sort of an indication that she’s even heard him. She just stares right through him. He gives her a few minutes, knowing that she’s trying to digest what he’s just told her, before reaching across the desk to take her hand in his. He doesn’t really think it is going to help her any - actions may speak louder then words but sometimes the hurt is so bad even a comforting touch cannot make things any better.
He knew this wasn’t going to be easy. Knows Rose too well and how very important her family is to her; even if she was willing to leave all of them behind. It wasn’t an easy decision for her to make, something they discussed numerous times when the darkness would get too lonely for either of them to take. It tore her up inside knowing that she’d probably never see any of them again and the guilt she felt had only grown when it became apparent that her whole purpose for being here instead of there would never be fulfilled.
When the tears cloud her eyes, then slowly fall one after another down her cheek, he reaches out to catch them. When her throat constricts with the overwhelming anguish she’s trying so hard to keep in check he gives her hand a little squeeze. When she turns her head away from him in an attempt to avoid his gaze he doesn’t stop her.
And when she asks the impossible in a surprisingly steady voice? When she wants to know when they can leave despite the fact that there’s no way to do it? When she finally looks him in the eyes, strength and determination etched in her face?
~~~
Ianto comes in shortly after Jack and Rose shut themselves away.
Tosh tells him what happened in the same broken-up speech she gave Gwen. You can tell she wants nothing more then to find a hole to hide in, how much she wants to just curl up into a ball and forget that this day ever happened. He reaches out to put a comforting hand on her shoulder but he’s never been good at this sort of thing and he allows his arm to fall back to his side instead.
~~~
She’s pacing now, her face a flurry of one emotion after another. He’s trying to keep his own in check, trying to stay brave for her sake, but it’s hard seeing her in so much pain. And he can’t help but feel that he understands, at least a little bit, what she’s going through right now.
“Why not?” she turns suddenly to him, eyes blazing. It’s the first thing she’s said in ten minutes. The first thing she’s said since asking him when they could leave and travel to that out-of-reach alternate universe to save her family.
Still trying to let her down easy he repeats what he’s been saying all this time, “Rose, it’s been three months. Whoever…whatever was invading has already come and gone by now. There’ll be nothing left to do, no one left to save.”
She flinches at that last line but doesn’t let up, “An’ what if there is Jack? What if they’re all still alive and waiting, waiting for me to come and save them?” She’s stubborn and persistent, and he loves that about her. “What if they die three days from now when I could have saved them today? What then?”
Though he doubts there is anyone or anything left to save this is exactly what he’s been waiting for her to say. She needs to have that glimmer of hope that she can do something about all of this, needs to really want the opportunity to at least try, if she’s going to agree with what he has in mind.
~~~
When Owen shows up Gwen takes it upon herself to tell him what’s going on, sparing Tosh the pain of repeating again what is so obviously tearing her up inside. Afterward, instead of picking a spot closest to the action, he joins Tosh at her desk. No one notices it when he takes her hand in his; they’re all too busy listening to the screams coming from Jacks’ office.
~~~
“No,” she says, vehemently shaking her head.
“We don’t have the technology or the resources here, Rose. You should know that by now.”
“I said no!” she’s screaming now and he takes a step back. He’s never seen her angry before and certainly never with him. “There has to be another way.”
~~~
For over an hour, less then that for some of them, the team watches Jack and Rose intently. They don’t even think about the fact that they are essentially prying into a matter that is really none of their business, except if you consider that the situation at hand is hurting their friend.
They’ve only known her for a few short months. It’s been a mere sixteen weeks since they were introduced to their newest teammate. But it doesn’t matter how long or short of a time you’ve known someone, what matter’s is the bond that you’ve formed with him or her during said time. And each member of Torchwood would have, even after a mere quarter of a year, laid his or her lives on the line for one Rose Tyler.
~~~
She’s sobbing uncontrollably now and though it hurts Jack immensely to see her like this, he knows it’s the only way. “We have to call him,” Jack whispers, arms held tight around her violently shaking body. “He’s their only chance.”
Chapter Two this way...
Rating: I'm going with PG-13 but I'm not really good with ratings
Characters: Ten, Rose, Jack, Tosh, Ianto, Gwen, Owen, Pete, Jackie, Mickey, Jake, Martha, other characters
Spoilers: Anything up till the end of season three is fair game
Summary: The sequel to Mrs. Jones You've Got a Lovely Daughter and part of my Homesick In Heaven series.Rose is back, has been for awhile now, and the Doctor is none the wiser. She's making a go of it and life is good...as good as it can be without him by her side. But what happens when forces beyond her control bring the two of them back together? What happens when the Doctor finds out she's been hiding from him all these months? Will Rose reveal her deepest, darkest secrets to him before it's too late?
Author's Note: Huge thanks to
the_magpye for her thoughts on this chapter and SnowFox3 over on FanFiction.net for her continuing patience in beta'ing this story despite having finals to deal with!
~~~
Four months have passed since Rose Tyler found herself back in the one place she longed to be more then anywhere else. Sixteen weeks since she won the fight to return to her proper universe…the Doctor’s universe. The happy reunion has been scratched however and instead she finds herself a member of the Torchwood team. Fighting the good fight against forces that would threaten this world isn’t the same though; not when you’re grounded to Earth instead of traveling amongst the stars with the man you love.
~~~
He can feel a headache coming on, right there at the very edge of his temples. Too much paperwork always seems to bring on this sort of reaction from his body, which is why he keeps an emergency bottle of Aspirin in his desk.
Pouring some water from the carafe Ianto considerately left for him, he’s about to go digging for the pain pills when there’s a sharp knock on the door. “Enter,” he calls out, closing the desk drawer with a sigh. It’ll have to wait for now.
“Jack,” Toshiko addresses him, pausing hesitantly in the entryway.
“Tosh,” he nods in acknowledgment. Normally he'd wave her in, offer her a seat and maybe something to drink, but right now he just wants to get this conversation over with as quick as possible. “What can I do for you today?” The pounding in his head is getting worse and he still has the huge stack of forms that need to be filled out staring him in the face.
“I ah…I think there’s something you ought to see.”
“Alright,” he gives her a nod and though he's reluctant to leave the quiet of his office he rises from his seat without hesitation. Knowing Tosh, it must be something important if she’s interrupting him when she knows he’s busy. “Lead on.”
He follows her to the center of the hub where her desk is located, a prime spot for the resident computer expert. Glancing at the numerous screens reveals nothing out of the ordinary. Rift activity at least seems minimal he notes with some impatience. She’s clearly upset about something but without the threat of impending doom or alien invasion he’s not really sure what.
“I should’ve noticed this earlier,” she finally speaks her voice so quiet he has to strain to hear. “But I…” She shakes her head, obviously in great turmoil over whatever it is that the great and infallible Tosh didn’t catch the first time around.
“Hey,” he starts, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. If that’s all she’s so worked up about - that something, somehow managed to slip past her - she’s got nothing to worry about. “We all make mistakes sometimes. I’m sure whatever it is isn’t that dire or we’d all be blown to bits by now,” he continues in an attempt at lightening the mood - complete with signature grin - but she doesn’t even notice.
Focusing instead on the task at hand, Tosh allows her adept fingers to fly across the keyboard; searching for the right folder, the correct file. When she finally finds it she takes a deep breath then squeaks out, “It was logged into the computer a little over two months ago.”
The sudden crunch of static indicates to him that the source of her distress is an audio file and a poor quality one at that. At first he can barely hear anything and it takes him a few seconds before he even realizes there’s someone talking.
“..is is .ete t…. .. .or…od, lo...n We … un… attack … ne.. …istance.”
“Can you clear it up a little; get rid of some of the background noise?”
Tosh nods, enters a few commands into the computer and suddenly everything goes quiet. He’s just about to ask if that’s the end of the transmission when the now-identified voice comes through once more, this time loud and oh so painfully clear.
“I repeat this is Pete Tyler of Torchwood, London. We are under attack and need assistance. Please respond!”
~~~
It has been so long since the last time Rose was on a proper shopping spree she had forgotten how cathartic it could be. It never ceases to amaze her how a few shops and a little extra cash to spare (or, in this case, someone else's credit card) can make your worries practically disappear.
It’s not just about having a good time - though after everything she’s been through lately she can’t help but feel she deserves a little TLC - but also a trip of necessity. With only the clothes she came through the rift in and what little Gwen could spare, she was definitely in dire need of a new wardrobe.
Up until just a few days ago though a trip like this would’ve been out of the question. There had been a large increase in unusual power surges, minor alien threats, and the appearance of suspicious rift-raft to deal with. Everyone refused to admit to it but, after pouring over previous mission reports, Rose knew it had all started around the time of her arrival and despite the steady decline in missions over the last week she had almost refused to stray so far from work. Jack had insisted however, saying that they’d be fine without his Torchwood girls, as he insisted on calling them, for a few hours.
Gwen had jumped at the idea but Tosh opted to stay behind, citing an overload of backed up work that needed her attention. Rose knew better though. No matter how hard she tried to befriend the petite Asian, she always seemed so distant, so aloof when it came to Rose. She was pretty sure it had something to do with Owen and his initial attraction to her, but Tosh had nothing to worry about as Rose had absolutely no interest whatsoever in this particular doctor.
So after spending hours away from the hub - and way too much of Jack’s money - the two of them returned to Torchwood, arms laden with purchases. Luckily Ianto, ever the gentleman, opened the doors as neither had a free hand to do so themselves. Rose didn’t miss the way he arched an eyebrow in the direction of the many multi-colored bags they carried or the way his eyes sparkled with amusement despite the almost stoic expression on his face.
She can’t help but giggle at him, always the one respectable member of the team and yet so full of mischief. His face breaks into a grin as he ushers them through the next door and before it closes behind them she can hear him chuckling to himself. She doesn’t even know what’s so funny but soon her and Gwen are on the floor in hysterics, an occasional snort escaping unchecked from both.
It’s so good to feel happy again that she doesn’t care if they’re making fools of themselves. It’s been so very long since she truly smiled and she can’t recall the last time she laughed at all. Oh, the sadness is still there - it’ll never go away and she knows it - but it’s pushed so far back, it’s so out-of-reach that she can almost forget it ever existed.
Then, as quickly as it began, it’s over. One look at Jack’s face and she knows something is wrong. What she doesn’t realize is just how serious it is…or that those moments of pure joy she just experienced will be her last for many months to come.
“Jack, what is it?” Gwen recovers first, rushing over to him but stops short when she sees he’s staring straight at Rose.
“Jack” Rose asks as she slowly stands and brushes herself off. He’s starting to frighten her the way he hasn’t even blinked.
“Tosh?” Gwen turns to the Asian woman for help.
“I…” she gives Gwen a vacant look then shakes her head and turns away.
“Jack, you’re scaring me.”
At the sound of Rose's voice he jumps slightly and screws up his face in what she is sure an attempt at reassurance. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to…I just…” Scratching his head he looks so unsure of himself, so nervous and this frightens her even more. She can’t recall a time she’s ever seen Captain Jack Harkness without his usual self-assurance, his typical bravado.
She walks up to him and takes his hand in her smaller one, giving him a slight smile. “It’s alright.” Pulling him towards a couple of nearby chairs she continues, “Jus’ tell me what’s wrong, yeah? Whatever it is I’m sure we can get through it together.”
His eyes grow misty at that and she’s afraid he’s about to cry. But he catches himself and suddenly he’s guiding her, past the chairs and towards his office. “Let’s talk someplace private.”
~~~
It takes some convincing but Tosh finally explains to Gwen what’s happening.
Rose's family living an impossibly unreachable distance away is in danger. What kind of danger Jack’s not sure but something’s happening over there in that alternate universe and there’s nothing they can do to stop it. If there’s even anything left to stop, after all it’s been three months since the transmission, the call for help, was sent.
Gwen can tell Tosh is taking it hard. She’s upset and guilt is writ all over her face. Though Gwen is certain she’d feel the same way, she wishes she could convince her teammate - her friend - that it’s not all her fault. Even if they had discovered the distress signal sooner there was nothing they could’ve done about it.
She wants so badly to give Tosh these reassurances but she can’t tear her attention away from the scene unfolding upstairs in Jacks’ office. She has to shift to the other side of the room, straining her neck just to catch a glimpse of what’s happening. It makes her feel sick to her stomach when she realizes she’s acting just like the onlookers after a car accident, slowing down to gawk at the human tragedy sprawled out on the pavement.
~~~
At first she doesn’t respond; doesn’t say anything or make any sort of an indication that she’s even heard him. She just stares right through him. He gives her a few minutes, knowing that she’s trying to digest what he’s just told her, before reaching across the desk to take her hand in his. He doesn’t really think it is going to help her any - actions may speak louder then words but sometimes the hurt is so bad even a comforting touch cannot make things any better.
He knew this wasn’t going to be easy. Knows Rose too well and how very important her family is to her; even if she was willing to leave all of them behind. It wasn’t an easy decision for her to make, something they discussed numerous times when the darkness would get too lonely for either of them to take. It tore her up inside knowing that she’d probably never see any of them again and the guilt she felt had only grown when it became apparent that her whole purpose for being here instead of there would never be fulfilled.
When the tears cloud her eyes, then slowly fall one after another down her cheek, he reaches out to catch them. When her throat constricts with the overwhelming anguish she’s trying so hard to keep in check he gives her hand a little squeeze. When she turns her head away from him in an attempt to avoid his gaze he doesn’t stop her.
And when she asks the impossible in a surprisingly steady voice? When she wants to know when they can leave despite the fact that there’s no way to do it? When she finally looks him in the eyes, strength and determination etched in her face?
~~~
Ianto comes in shortly after Jack and Rose shut themselves away.
Tosh tells him what happened in the same broken-up speech she gave Gwen. You can tell she wants nothing more then to find a hole to hide in, how much she wants to just curl up into a ball and forget that this day ever happened. He reaches out to put a comforting hand on her shoulder but he’s never been good at this sort of thing and he allows his arm to fall back to his side instead.
~~~
She’s pacing now, her face a flurry of one emotion after another. He’s trying to keep his own in check, trying to stay brave for her sake, but it’s hard seeing her in so much pain. And he can’t help but feel that he understands, at least a little bit, what she’s going through right now.
“Why not?” she turns suddenly to him, eyes blazing. It’s the first thing she’s said in ten minutes. The first thing she’s said since asking him when they could leave and travel to that out-of-reach alternate universe to save her family.
Still trying to let her down easy he repeats what he’s been saying all this time, “Rose, it’s been three months. Whoever…whatever was invading has already come and gone by now. There’ll be nothing left to do, no one left to save.”
She flinches at that last line but doesn’t let up, “An’ what if there is Jack? What if they’re all still alive and waiting, waiting for me to come and save them?” She’s stubborn and persistent, and he loves that about her. “What if they die three days from now when I could have saved them today? What then?”
Though he doubts there is anyone or anything left to save this is exactly what he’s been waiting for her to say. She needs to have that glimmer of hope that she can do something about all of this, needs to really want the opportunity to at least try, if she’s going to agree with what he has in mind.
~~~
When Owen shows up Gwen takes it upon herself to tell him what’s going on, sparing Tosh the pain of repeating again what is so obviously tearing her up inside. Afterward, instead of picking a spot closest to the action, he joins Tosh at her desk. No one notices it when he takes her hand in his; they’re all too busy listening to the screams coming from Jacks’ office.
~~~
“No,” she says, vehemently shaking her head.
“We don’t have the technology or the resources here, Rose. You should know that by now.”
“I said no!” she’s screaming now and he takes a step back. He’s never seen her angry before and certainly never with him. “There has to be another way.”
~~~
For over an hour, less then that for some of them, the team watches Jack and Rose intently. They don’t even think about the fact that they are essentially prying into a matter that is really none of their business, except if you consider that the situation at hand is hurting their friend.
They’ve only known her for a few short months. It’s been a mere sixteen weeks since they were introduced to their newest teammate. But it doesn’t matter how long or short of a time you’ve known someone, what matter’s is the bond that you’ve formed with him or her during said time. And each member of Torchwood would have, even after a mere quarter of a year, laid his or her lives on the line for one Rose Tyler.
~~~
She’s sobbing uncontrollably now and though it hurts Jack immensely to see her like this, he knows it’s the only way. “We have to call him,” Jack whispers, arms held tight around her violently shaking body. “He’s their only chance.”
Chapter Two this way...