Fic: You've Got to Hide Your Love Away (3/17?), Part One
An uncomfortable silence falls over the room the moment Jack leaves.
Most of them refuse to even look in his direction and he can tell he makes them uncomfortable but that’s just fine with him. Considering the circumstances he doesn’t really want to make small talk with these people. They are Jack’s team, Roses’ teammates…and other then their potential usefulness in finishing this mission they are of no concern to him.
Flipping quickly through the folder in front of him reveals nothing the Doctor doesn’t already know or hasn’t already guessed. The transmission came into the hub weeks ago but no one noticed it until now. The message itself was short and to the point, as are most distress calls, revealing nothing of the danger they might be facing. And, of course, attempts had been made to send a reply, to no avail. No surprise there either.
Pushing the file across the table with a sigh he starts fidgeting with the cuffs on his jacket. Never one to be able to sit still or keep his mouth shut for long, this whole waiting business is rubbing his already raw nerves the wrong way. So, when the door to the conference room finally opens, he greets the arrivals with both relief and trepidation.
Jack enters first, followed quickly by Martha. And for a brief few seconds they stand there together, shoulder-to-shoulder. They’re hiding her from him, protecting her from his presence for just that little bit longer. It’s upsetting that they’d feel the need to do such a thing, that they’d think he’d intentionally harm Rose in any way.
But of course just seeing him, just being in his presence, is apparently enough to upset her.
Jack and Martha regard him cautiously, as though expecting some sort of a scene, and he feels a flash of anger. They’ve shown where their loyalties lie and they’re obviously not with him. Jack he can understand, Jack who made it apparent from the beginning that he’d be more then happy to rush in and sweep Rose off her feet if the opportunity ever arose.
But Martha? She who made her feelings toward his former companion well known every chance she had? The woman who crinkled her nose up in distaste every time he dared mention the woman he’d lost? When did she become Roses’ best mate? When did she…
And then suddenly the two of them separate, allowing her to enter the room too, and he loses all thoughts of betrayal and friends lost. Everything around him - every sound, every scent, every thought - is forced to the sidelines as his field of vision narrows so that all he can see is her.
If he didn’t know any better he’d swear that time had just literally stood still.
She hesitates in the doorway and their eyes meet. It doesn’t last for long, just a fraction of a fraction of a second, but it’s long enough for him to see everything, every emotion. Pain and fear are the most apparent, followed closely by guilt and then something else…something he can’t read. It’s hidden deep in the depths of her soul, barricades and walls surrounding it, but it’s there and there’s something not quite right about it.
~~~
She swore to herself she wouldn't look at him, knew that if she did her resolve just might break. But she can't help herself, the overwhelming urge to see him again is just too strong.
The instant their eyes meet a surge of emotions hits, almost overpowering her. Her legs feel like they're going to buckle under the weight of his gaze and the overwhelming sense of familiarity - the sense of coming home - it brings with it. She misses him so much it feels, at times, like she is going to break into a million pieces without him.
But she can't do this, she can't let him back in, because if he knew...
Quickly she lets the memories - those horrible, awful memories - dig themselves out of the hole she's buried them in. Never would she have thought that she would willingly subject herself to them again but she does.
And that's all it takes to strengthen her resolve once more.
~~~
He doesn't miss the flicker in her eyes as her once kind gaze goes so very cold and distant. It's like a knife through his hearts but he can't tear his eyes away from her no matter how hard he tries.
He watches in amazement, as she stands a little straighter, just that little bit taller before making her way around the table. She’s poised and so much surer of herself then she ever was before. Gone is the young, naive girl he first met so many years ago and he can’t help but feel a surge of pride.
But it's not just who she's become inside that he's noticed, it's her physical attributes as well. She’s allowed her hair to grow out, no traces of the blond she once preferred left. He never thought he’d see the day when she’d be happy with her natural color but he likes it. And it definitely goes better with the new clothes too. No more pink hoodies with jeans, instead she’s dressed sensibly in form fitting slacks and a reasonable shirt. She's so completely different from the Rose he once knew...and she's absolutely gorgeous!
Shaking his head to clear it, he tries to tear his eyes away from her. The gawking has to stop and he knows it. Time Lords don’t gawk but his body no longer seems to be under the control of his brilliant mind and he can’t help himself. He’s dreamed of this day, of seeing her again, so many times. Never, not once, in the past two years did a day go by that he didn’t think of her and what he’d do if he ever managed to find a way around impossible. He never imagined their happy reunion would end up anything like this though.
Realty is oftentimes a lot harsher then fantasy after all.
~~~
She can feel his eyes burning a hole in her back as she slowly but surely makes her way to the other side of the room. Can sense his emotions rolling off him in waves and there's no denying, not anymore, that she's hurt him deeply.
Shoulder's tense and back straight she head directly for the chair on the far side of the table reserved just for her. Jack's standing next to it, holding it out for her, and she knows he's doing everything within his power to make her as comfortable as possible. But does she deserve it? Ignoring everything else she's done, does she still deserve this kind of treatment when she just intentionally hurt the one person who means more then anything else in this universe - or any other for that matter - to her?
Does her action merit the kind look or the gentle caress he, the man she's torn between two friends, gives her?
She doesn't think so.
~~~
The Doctor doesn't miss the way Jack holds the chair out for her, that suave and oh-so-caring look on his face. Nor does it escape his attention, though he almost wishes it did, the way the man he once considered his friend intimately rubs the back of the woman he once considered his lover (even if he never told her).
It very nearly breaks him.
He's so busy trying to control the rage that's slowly brewing in the pit of his stomach that he doesn't even notice Martha sitting down next to him. Which would explain the way he jumps when she places her hand on his. Everyone turns to see what the commotion is, everyone except Rose that is, and he can feel his cheeks burning not with embarrassment but anger.
Yanking his hand out from under Martha’s he focuses his attention on the one spot in the room that’s safe, the screen that covers most of the back wall. At some point during the last few minutes someone must’ve turned it on and he stares blankly at the readout that’s currently scrolling across it.
Jack clears his throat and the Doctor can hear the scraping of chairs as all eyes turn towards their leader. "Alright people, we have a lot of stuff to take care of and little time with which to work with. Tosh?"
"Right, well what we know is this…" she begins but he blocks out the sound of her voice as she goes on about things he already knows. Why are they wasting his time and theirs? He may be a Time Lord, may be able to bend the flow of it as it suits him, but even he understands just how important it is to not waste of a single second of it. Or at least he does now.
"Ok,” Jack’s much louder, much more jarring voice interrupts his thoughts. “For those of you who haven’t already heard it this is the transmission we received." He pushes a button on the laptop sitting on the table in front of him and a sound file begins to play. "It was mostly just static before Tosh cleaned it up a bit. Couldn't hear anything but a few syllables here and there."
Cleaned it up a bit? All he can hear is the static and what sounds like someone rubbing their hand across a microphone. He's just about to get annoyed when he hears Pete's voice coming through loud and clear, "This is Pete Tyler, Torchwood Cardiff. We are under attack and need immediate assistance. Can anyone hear me?"
The message is painfully clear and he can just make out the sounds of screaming and gunfire in the background. It’s hard enough for him to listen to…he can’t even begin to imagine what it’s doing to Rose. But she’s sitting there in front of him, a whole table away, her back as straight as when she came in. There’s no outward response from her, at least none that he can see.
The transmission ends and Jack continues, “That’s about all we know. We’ve tried to find a way to send a message back through but so far it doesn’t appear to have worked.” He turns his attention fully to the Doctor now, as do all the other faces in the room minus one. “And that’s where you come in Doc. Can you get us into the other universe?”
He’s not sure if he can, not sure if there is anyway to do it without causing two separate universes’ to implode. It was the same problem he had in reaching Rose and bringing her back here, where she belonged. But there’s obviously a new tear somewhere, a tear that might just be big enough…
“Well, yeah, I should be able to,” he scratches the back of his neck, action mode taking over. “That is, if the rip in time Pete’s message came through is large enough to fit the Tardis through. It might not even be around anymore, come to think of it. They don’t typically close up on their own but stranger things have happened. Well, then there’s the little problem of not tearing apart the whole of time and space…”
“Right,” Jack interrupts him, “so when do we leave?”. Always straight to the point that man is and, though it irritates him that he could be so rude, it’s also a relief. He needs to get out of here as soon as he can, before he says or does something he’ll regret later.
Rising to his feet in one swift motion the Doctor claps his hands together, “As soon as you’re ready. I need to make a few alterations to the Tardis so we’ll meet up there, yeah?” And before anyone can respond he’s crossed the room, pulled open the door, and left.
Chapter Three, Part Two...