because sometimes you have to take things into your own hands.....NO DAY BUT TODAY!
this is crazy?!?!?! how do i always get stuck in these situations? i'll explain myself as best as i can or will on here- *warning, this is long, sorry guys/gals*
the guy i've been falling for since late january decided to stop talking to me after semester had ended. i couldn't figure out why because we were both really happy with each other's company (or so it seemed to me). i know he works alot (he may be an even bigger work-a-holic than me), but i couldn't understand why he wouldn't even answer my phone calls. fine. i left that one alone. i figure time will pan out and show me where it is that this "thing" is suppose to be going. *sigh*
so then i start summer classes. guess who's in my class? yah. totally cute/sweet boy from my romanticism class is back in my narrative technique class. i don't know if it was just the downfall of what had just occured in my last "thing", but i decide to muster up the courage and talk to him. i always noticed him looking at me, curiously, so i decide to find out his name and what he's about. we talk and talk and he seems to be great. totally kool, makes me smile. heh. he's a writer/english major. he's finished with school after summer b. 23 yrs old. just all around seems to be a great guy. he says he remembers me from before our class together. i had no idea how, because i would have remembered him for sure. well, turns out he saw me perform at wacky winter - he goes on to tell me that he thinks i was great, yada yada. so i ask him if he was into theatre stuff. he says yea, but was invited to go see that performance by a girl i know in the dept. i get excited thinking, wow, he knows people i know, thats awesome (and a plus that's he's NOT in the theatre dept). so i ask a friend of mine (who's friends with the girl who invited him) about him and it turns out that he was that girl's ex. major blow to the happy mode. that sux. now when i see him it's just like, i don't know. wierd. yea i'm crushing on him and yea i think he's great, but.....well....you know - don't shit where you're gunna eat.
so i'm totally down about this now, figuring i just can't win with anyone - i should just give it all a rest, forget about them, both. i was im'd by a great friend of mine who's out of town. we talk for, well i'm not even sure how long (guess that's how it goes with your best friends), and she tells me all this great advice. i was in the biggest slump i had been in since, well, i can't even remember. it was bad though. well, we spoke and what she said was amazing. she even got me to laugh (a real laugh) for the first time in weeks. i took some of her advice, or wisdom i should say is a more proper term for it, and decided to just let my heart lead me. i just shut off the ol' brain, which always gets the better of us, and decided that if i had an impulse, i would follow it. sure enough, i end up running into my guy i've been falling for(actually, no. totally fell for). we talk, things get straightened out (well for the most part). i mean it was mostly a casual conversation, but it really seemed like he had every intent on calling, just hasn't gotten around to it. what was more was his face when he saw me. that made my day! i hadn't seen him light up like that in a while. prolly not since another conversation we had a bit ago. it totally revived me. do you get that? how one person can pull on your heart strings and either drown you in sorrow or revitalize you, almost like a rebirth, and you feel a thousand times more capable of anything than you ever have before. i don't know how to put it, i know it sounds nuts. ah well. so far i'm feeling pretty chipper, to say the least, about our last encounter. *sigh*
that same day i get to see the other boy in my class. he sat right next to me (well he sat next to the seat i always sit in, i was a tad late). it was nice having him right there next to me. it just gave me a good feeling. it was wierd. i thought, maybe i'm just happy about what just happened, but no, it had nothing to do with it. i was just happy that it was him, and that he was sitting next to me (it's amazing how small stuff like that can make you happy). well, we have (or i have) avoided speaking for a few days (since i found out the whole shmeal about him being a friend of a friend's ex). well, in the middle of one of my prof (i love him and he's great but man he can talk) rants (you can just tell when theyre about to begin and they can go on for an hour at a time), well, he looks over at me and i look at him just as he's looking at me (we had been doing this for most of class, just missing one anothers' eyes) i smile, he smiles. it's almost as if that settled it all. we got to talking afterwards like we never stopped. we exchanged numbers to work on a take home test together over the weekend. nothing big though. it is strictly friendship. but i can't help but wonder, what if he wasn't her ex? then what?
oh well. you can't change things. they are what they are. my friend i had spoken to online (who's out of town) had warned me to stick with my first guy. she believes there is something rich to be gained from it and i certainly hope so (as i'm afraid it might be love that i'm falling into). there are certain "difficulties" when it comes to that relationship as well. so, we'll see.
i know this was sooooooooooooo friggin long. i don't expect anyone to of read through this, but i am happy that for the most part i've been able to get it out of my system. if anyone has taken the time to read this and has any advice to offer - my ears (well, eyes in this case) are OPEN!
till next time, and i hope it won't be this long....lol. much love and all that jazz!
Oh and YEA-YAH!!!!! CARRIE UNDERWOOD IS THEE NEW AMERICAN IDOL.....AND WHO CALLED THAT ;) THAT'S RIGHT! I COULD SO BE IN THE BUSINESS. I JUST KNOW THESE THINGS, LOL.
the guy i've been falling for since late january decided to stop talking to me after semester had ended. i couldn't figure out why because we were both really happy with each other's company (or so it seemed to me). i know he works alot (he may be an even bigger work-a-holic than me), but i couldn't understand why he wouldn't even answer my phone calls. fine. i left that one alone. i figure time will pan out and show me where it is that this "thing" is suppose to be going. *sigh*
so then i start summer classes. guess who's in my class? yah. totally cute/sweet boy from my romanticism class is back in my narrative technique class. i don't know if it was just the downfall of what had just occured in my last "thing", but i decide to muster up the courage and talk to him. i always noticed him looking at me, curiously, so i decide to find out his name and what he's about. we talk and talk and he seems to be great. totally kool, makes me smile. heh. he's a writer/english major. he's finished with school after summer b. 23 yrs old. just all around seems to be a great guy. he says he remembers me from before our class together. i had no idea how, because i would have remembered him for sure. well, turns out he saw me perform at wacky winter - he goes on to tell me that he thinks i was great, yada yada. so i ask him if he was into theatre stuff. he says yea, but was invited to go see that performance by a girl i know in the dept. i get excited thinking, wow, he knows people i know, thats awesome (and a plus that's he's NOT in the theatre dept). so i ask a friend of mine (who's friends with the girl who invited him) about him and it turns out that he was that girl's ex. major blow to the happy mode. that sux. now when i see him it's just like, i don't know. wierd. yea i'm crushing on him and yea i think he's great, but.....well....you know - don't shit where you're gunna eat.
so i'm totally down about this now, figuring i just can't win with anyone - i should just give it all a rest, forget about them, both. i was im'd by a great friend of mine who's out of town. we talk for, well i'm not even sure how long (guess that's how it goes with your best friends), and she tells me all this great advice. i was in the biggest slump i had been in since, well, i can't even remember. it was bad though. well, we spoke and what she said was amazing. she even got me to laugh (a real laugh) for the first time in weeks. i took some of her advice, or wisdom i should say is a more proper term for it, and decided to just let my heart lead me. i just shut off the ol' brain, which always gets the better of us, and decided that if i had an impulse, i would follow it. sure enough, i end up running into my guy i've been falling for(actually, no. totally fell for). we talk, things get straightened out (well for the most part). i mean it was mostly a casual conversation, but it really seemed like he had every intent on calling, just hasn't gotten around to it. what was more was his face when he saw me. that made my day! i hadn't seen him light up like that in a while. prolly not since another conversation we had a bit ago. it totally revived me. do you get that? how one person can pull on your heart strings and either drown you in sorrow or revitalize you, almost like a rebirth, and you feel a thousand times more capable of anything than you ever have before. i don't know how to put it, i know it sounds nuts. ah well. so far i'm feeling pretty chipper, to say the least, about our last encounter. *sigh*
that same day i get to see the other boy in my class. he sat right next to me (well he sat next to the seat i always sit in, i was a tad late). it was nice having him right there next to me. it just gave me a good feeling. it was wierd. i thought, maybe i'm just happy about what just happened, but no, it had nothing to do with it. i was just happy that it was him, and that he was sitting next to me (it's amazing how small stuff like that can make you happy). well, we have (or i have) avoided speaking for a few days (since i found out the whole shmeal about him being a friend of a friend's ex). well, in the middle of one of my prof (i love him and he's great but man he can talk) rants (you can just tell when theyre about to begin and they can go on for an hour at a time), well, he looks over at me and i look at him just as he's looking at me (we had been doing this for most of class, just missing one anothers' eyes) i smile, he smiles. it's almost as if that settled it all. we got to talking afterwards like we never stopped. we exchanged numbers to work on a take home test together over the weekend. nothing big though. it is strictly friendship. but i can't help but wonder, what if he wasn't her ex? then what?
oh well. you can't change things. they are what they are. my friend i had spoken to online (who's out of town) had warned me to stick with my first guy. she believes there is something rich to be gained from it and i certainly hope so (as i'm afraid it might be love that i'm falling into). there are certain "difficulties" when it comes to that relationship as well. so, we'll see.
i know this was sooooooooooooo friggin long. i don't expect anyone to of read through this, but i am happy that for the most part i've been able to get it out of my system. if anyone has taken the time to read this and has any advice to offer - my ears (well, eyes in this case) are OPEN!
till next time, and i hope it won't be this long....lol. much love and all that jazz!
Oh and YEA-YAH!!!!! CARRIE UNDERWOOD IS THEE NEW AMERICAN IDOL.....AND WHO CALLED THAT ;) THAT'S RIGHT! I COULD SO BE IN THE BUSINESS. I JUST KNOW THESE THINGS, LOL.