(no subject)
I got into Trinity College!!!!
Back in late February I applied to Trinity College for entrance to their MPhil In Creative Writing. I was unsure about applying - the competition is stiff as there are only 14 places on the programme and I don't handle failure well. However I have a friend on the course this year and he convinced me to apply - he said it was excellent and even though he's been a semi-professional writer for years, the programme has helped him focus in a way that nothing else has. In the end I applied but told few people that I'd done so - if I didn't get in I wouldn't have to tell anyone I'd failed (yes I know - big character flaw). Students are selected on the basis of a submitted portfolio of work so I was understandably nervous when trying to come up with work to include. I've only started writing relatively recently and have 1 completed novel and the first few chapters of another - no short stories, plays or poetry. I eventually decided to submit a chapter of the recent WIP as I'm so sick of my first novel at this stage (agent wants MORE rewrites) I couldn't bear to look at it again. At this point I have to say a big thank you to fredsmith518 who read and advised on this chapter, as she does all my work, and also to hiyacynth who threw her editor's eye over the chapter and whipped my punctuation into shape.
A few weeks ago I got an email from Trinity to say that 'due to the unusually high number of highly qualified applicants, they weren't in a position to offer me a place yet but should one become available blah blah blah'. I was pissed off, to say the least, especially when I found out that 7 of the 14 places on the programme are earmarked for foreign students. I griped and grumbled to myself for a couple of weeks then decided to just forget about it - no point in fretting over something I couldn't change. Then 2 days ago I got an email from them to say a place had come available and they were offering it to me. I was gobsmacked - and delighted - and panic-stricken. And 2 days later I'm still gobsmacked, delighted and panic-stricken.
The programme is meant for working writers or people who intend to write fiction professionally. They usually have excellent writer's-in-residence and for the next 3 years they have Richard Ford as adjunct professor, and he'll be giving a series of workshops. That alone is enough for me to want to do the course - I think he's a fabulous writer and, according to my friend, he's a terrific teacher too. The course is run from the building where Oscar Wilde was born - I wonder is his ghost haunting the place :-)
So why am I panic stricken? Well there's all the usual 'everyone else will be smarter/more talented than me' feelings of insecurity but also the thought of having to stand up in front of people and read out my work, absolutely horrifies me. I had to do this at a writer's workshop in the UK a couple of years ago and I'll never forget it - it was excruciating and I swore I'd never put myself through that again. However, since this course is run as a series of small group workshops I'll have no choice but to do this on a weekly if not daily basis - I can see myself taking valium for the duration.
Reason to panic number two is the cost of the programme - I thought it was €6,500 (which is bad enough) but I got my 'Welcome to Trinity Grad School - here's your invoice' this morning and the fee is actually €7,200! I'm going to apply for a grant but I've a sneaking suspicion I'll be refused. Oh well - I'll just have to dig into my savings and hope I get a publishing deal in the next 12 months (see? I still have a sense of humour).
But at the end of the day I have to admit that my overriding feeling is delight. No matter what, I will learn a lot because, despite having completed one novel, I can't get over the feeling that I have no idea what I'm doing. This programme (I'm hoping) will either prove me right or reassure me I'm doing okay.
Back in late February I applied to Trinity College for entrance to their MPhil In Creative Writing. I was unsure about applying - the competition is stiff as there are only 14 places on the programme and I don't handle failure well. However I have a friend on the course this year and he convinced me to apply - he said it was excellent and even though he's been a semi-professional writer for years, the programme has helped him focus in a way that nothing else has. In the end I applied but told few people that I'd done so - if I didn't get in I wouldn't have to tell anyone I'd failed (yes I know - big character flaw). Students are selected on the basis of a submitted portfolio of work so I was understandably nervous when trying to come up with work to include. I've only started writing relatively recently and have 1 completed novel and the first few chapters of another - no short stories, plays or poetry. I eventually decided to submit a chapter of the recent WIP as I'm so sick of my first novel at this stage (agent wants MORE rewrites) I couldn't bear to look at it again. At this point I have to say a big thank you to fredsmith518 who read and advised on this chapter, as she does all my work, and also to hiyacynth who threw her editor's eye over the chapter and whipped my punctuation into shape.
A few weeks ago I got an email from Trinity to say that 'due to the unusually high number of highly qualified applicants, they weren't in a position to offer me a place yet but should one become available blah blah blah'. I was pissed off, to say the least, especially when I found out that 7 of the 14 places on the programme are earmarked for foreign students. I griped and grumbled to myself for a couple of weeks then decided to just forget about it - no point in fretting over something I couldn't change. Then 2 days ago I got an email from them to say a place had come available and they were offering it to me. I was gobsmacked - and delighted - and panic-stricken. And 2 days later I'm still gobsmacked, delighted and panic-stricken.
The programme is meant for working writers or people who intend to write fiction professionally. They usually have excellent writer's-in-residence and for the next 3 years they have Richard Ford as adjunct professor, and he'll be giving a series of workshops. That alone is enough for me to want to do the course - I think he's a fabulous writer and, according to my friend, he's a terrific teacher too. The course is run from the building where Oscar Wilde was born - I wonder is his ghost haunting the place :-)
So why am I panic stricken? Well there's all the usual 'everyone else will be smarter/more talented than me' feelings of insecurity but also the thought of having to stand up in front of people and read out my work, absolutely horrifies me. I had to do this at a writer's workshop in the UK a couple of years ago and I'll never forget it - it was excruciating and I swore I'd never put myself through that again. However, since this course is run as a series of small group workshops I'll have no choice but to do this on a weekly if not daily basis - I can see myself taking valium for the duration.
Reason to panic number two is the cost of the programme - I thought it was €6,500 (which is bad enough) but I got my 'Welcome to Trinity Grad School - here's your invoice' this morning and the fee is actually €7,200! I'm going to apply for a grant but I've a sneaking suspicion I'll be refused. Oh well - I'll just have to dig into my savings and hope I get a publishing deal in the next 12 months (see? I still have a sense of humour).
But at the end of the day I have to admit that my overriding feeling is delight. No matter what, I will learn a lot because, despite having completed one novel, I can't get over the feeling that I have no idea what I'm doing. This programme (I'm hoping) will either prove me right or reassure me I'm doing okay.