W00T!!!!

[shakespearefro]

I spent an entire day writing this essay for English. Finally, after writing essays I thought were good, but Mr. Childs didn't, I scored. On the essay, in purple ink, the only comments were praising it. I feel like I really earned it.

Comments

[kawaii__neko]

Good, but too cliche. Everyone compares bullies to "sticks and stones may break my bones" and i get tired of how all pity poetry complains about how "words cut like a knife." I think you could have done better.

Its really sad how you don't look at the underlying factors why this girl was that way. You could have shown why she was so mean. There is a meaning for everything, and tho I'm not one to stand up for mean people, she was young, and wasn't raised right. She probably has alot of problems, issues that you've never experienced because you were too fortunate... somethings you could never understand.

It was well written, but i still dont fancy it completely. I would have deleted the cliches, and then it would have been good. You were pretty creative on the dialogue.

Sorry but I read all stories very judgingly because I don't have patients for crappy poetry/short stories. The same way you look at my appearance and everything else I do with a critical eye.

*sigh*

[shakespearefro]

It may seem cliche but truly all bullies are cliches. They can't handle what's going on with their life so they attack others verbally or physically. Now giving them an excuse for their actions is about the same as supporting them. Just because she had her own insercurities does not give her the right to make me feel like a worthless piece of shit.

What cliches?? I critized the sticks and stones and maybe words cut like kife just happens to be a good metaphor.

Re: *sigh*

[kawaii__neko]

Stick and stones my break my bones is a cliche, because EVERYONE uses it. Do you not know what a cliche is

Re: *sigh*

[shakespearefro]

I wasn't writing some fictional story for creative writing, I was telling what happened to me. I DID try to be nice but she only made it worst.

How would I know her side? I'm not her.

As for saying that EVERYONE knows "sticks and stones' is false, then why was is I was being told it so much? Saying that EVERYONE knows it's false is very follish on your part.

Thanks though for saying it's fine to be a bully.

[wellthisworksto]

what was the subject for the essay?

Hmm that could be useful info.....

[shakespearefro]

It was to write about a time that you or you witnessed someone being bullied.