You hate your writing, you love your writing, you hate your writing, you love your writing. Isn't it always the same ( Read more... )

Yesterday in Hollywood we got together and tripped on salvia in the garage. I tripped that people weren’t people, that we were tiny pawns, grotesque objects with black behind us and a hand above. I was afraid and couldn’t stop shaking my head and staring at the trip with spots on my eyes. I was thinking, but I’m not a person, I’m not those hideous ( Read more... )

I wanted to live an eccentric lifestyle, so eccentric things happened to me. After a while, I don’t notice the past or his bixsexuality. The occasional touch of flamboyance in his gestures, the pitch, the emphasis in his words associated with gays goes past me. Other people notice, but think it’s intriguing. They also don’t doubt his affections, or ( Read more... )

Things are going much better, though not on paper. I'm happy in a very sane way; not in a blissful way, not in a spontaneous, inexplicable euphoric way, but baseline happy, clear and unaltered. The spurts of a fanatical, acute perception are over, and anyway I don't know how acute a perception can be when it's so fanatical. Overall I'm glad it's ( Read more... )

It is a toned, thin summer and people are crowding the beaches. Everyone is operating for vanity, which I think is both beautiful and ugly. And aren't I the same ( Read more... )

Two days ago a boy I hardly knew in high school died in his bedroom, and I went with a friend who knew him to pay our respects to his parents. We went twice: we went alone the first time and his mother cried in our arms and thanked us. Then we gathered a group of people I hadn't seen since my senior year, and we waited down the block because there ( Read more... )

Everything is coming to a close, and I'm glad for it. It won't be a close, but a beginning. I see nothing but happiness in the near future. Patrick and I talk everyday about plans for the summer, about recording, and needing something to come together. We say how it's our pure joy, and in the back of our mind there's a small pinching danger of ( Read more... )

Aside from all the work I'm doing, things are going well. I'm getting ready to sublet my apartment for the summer and move to Europe, and we're all moving out in July. I'm happy with my psuedo-boyfriend, or really a good friend is what I suppose he is. He never hurts me. He only makes me feel good, and we give each other freedom and encouragement ( Read more... )

Yesterday I woke up with a cloud in my head and spent the day pinned together. I sat through class and made good points and afterward bought a bottle of wine and walked home. When the night rolled in I went to Time Square and met David right in the deep center, and we kissed and clung to each other in front of everyone like newly weds ( Read more... )

I can't trust an insane man to understand me and make life easier for the both of us, and so I spent my last night in Los Angeles hiding out in my parent's garage and trying to start my car without my brother noticing ( Read more... )