oh dear god, will I EVER grow up?

[shalora]

So someone initiated a conversation on my work email list about providing coverage for just a few hours and about having personal appointments on days you're on call if you're not the first call priority. Consensus seems to have been that you shouldn't have to cover for less than 4 hours (legit reasons there, but y'all don't care) and that if

Comments

[ruhaniyyih]

It's little kid time today, it would appear. You and I have these injured, insecure little kids inside us, and sometimes they get triggered. If I were going through this, Keller would tell me to love the kids, comfort them, and be patient and compassionate with them/me. I think you and I will never be completely done with being triggered, but we'll get better at handling it when it comes up. (Dealing with triggers a lot myself the last few weeks.)

SO. Don't use this as an excuse to criticize yourself. YOU didn't create the stimulus, you simply developed the coping mechanisms that told you to duck and cover, in order to survive. Be patient with my Pippa. And I'll try and be patient with me, too.

[shalora]

I just get so tired of, like, inflicting her on everyone around me, you know? Rawr. Just got home from a yoga class and really hoping that actually lets me sleep... *sigh* I've had some good hours recently and have a decent tax return coming up - I just emailed a massage therapist (who I've seen once) to see if I can get a massage any time soon, I think that will help a lot. And my hamstrings and back are really sore this week anyway, that should help

[maiden_midwife]

I'm sorry you're having a rough time. Curse all you want, it's your journal. Try to ground and center yourself, maybe even take some rescue remedy, perhaps that will help you calm down.

[shalora]

I don't have any Rescue Remedy (though you'd think I'd buy it in bulk, with my anxiety issues). I do, however, have some homemade tinctures that a friend helped me start to try to get my PMS and cramps under control - including motherwort. Which finished steeping on Monday. So I've been pounding motherwort today. And went for a walk "around the block" (a 2.5-3 mile loop with a good hill at one point) somewhere around 2. And just got home from a yoga class (with motherwort in my water bottle) - I usually don't do it on Wednesdays, but I usually do the Friday one, and it's the same teacher and same people in the class, so at least no /extra/ anxiety around any of /those/ issues. May just take some benadryl - still debating whether it's better to toss and turn or be stuck in anxiety dreams, though. >:p

[maiden_midwife]

Sounds like you're doing good things for yourself. If you have passionflower, valerian, kava kava, skullcap or California poppy any or all could help with sleep/anxiety.

[shalora]

Argh, I usually stock kava kava because it is such a perfect sleep aid for me - but I'm out at the moment, have been for a few months (because I've been so broke, and it's more expensive than some of the other sleep herbs). I just ran out of melatonin the other day, and I don't have any of the others. I'm definitely going to Limbo tomorrow to set up some more tinctures - hopefully they'll have what I'm looking for! (I got the ones I currently have from my friend, so I don't know what they stock) Specifically I need more motherwort (the way I go through it), skullcap (it's great for pain too), kava kava (tinctures are strong, and should be cheaper than buying herbal capsules, right?), echinacea... think that's all the list I have at the moment. Want to see if they carry vitex and nettles, since those (plus motherwort) are the first line attempt to get my body to stop freaking out with my cycles.