Ding dong my lifes.... okay!
I managed to live through yet another anniversiery of my dad's death and his birthday all in the same week.
Its sad just how many people have to deal with all that too...
"The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time" -Mark Twain
I am not afraid of death. I never have3 been. I don't know if that has to do with my past but i do know it is not one of my fears. Death is a part of life. Whether you believe there is something beyond death or you just die, we have not found a way to cheat death. LIke mark twain said, once you live your life fully, death is just a sidenote or an ending phrase. I'm not claiming that i have lead a fully life, but i have lead one that i appreciate fully and am very grateful to be given the opportunity to live.
My fear is not dying. My fear is being alive. I'm afraid of being the one left behind to pick up the pieces. The person who has to go on living knowing whatever their purpose is in life is on that does not need the constant love and support of the life lost. Well not in a physical manner that is. I have delt with many loses and i have come to terms with them all. I have faith that they have been taken from my life so that i will become a better person and do what i have been put on this earth to do.
Damn, i have no idea what i just wrote... hmm... random...
I'm very upset right now. The carpet people planed to be here 3 weeks ago to put in new carpet. Then they said they couldn't for a week. Then that week came and past and here i sit. Waking up this morning that i'd soon be getting new carpet but no. Its moved till tomorrow. BASTARDS! They've moved it 4 times now. Ugh. I just hate living out of damn boxes and having a 86% empty room. Lameo!
Other then that, i bought alot of books today! So random but awesome! I got: (1) Einstein's Unfinished Symphony: Listening to the Sounds of Space-Time. I'm really excited to read about this because i find Einstein fascinating and also it is an interesting subject matter that i don't know much about. (2) The Pianist. I saw the movie and fell in love. I love war movies/books and i love the piano so put the 2 together and i was blown away. Also i remember seeing it on an airplane on the way to Italy and i felt so guilty eating after that it was crazy. Why'd they serve dinner after a movie like that? Whaaa? (3) I forgot the name of the 3rd one but its all these short stories of what happens to body parts (like the heart and eyes and shyt) after the person dies. Its so crazy! I'm so excited to read them. I've found that i LOVE reading short stories (if they are done well) because you get all the same affect of a longer story but in shorter time. I dunno, i love novels but short stories are wonderful too.
ps: i've been so boy crazy the last few days. damn you boys. damn you all! RAWR!