Cadences (29/35 + epilogue)
Word Count: ~2600
Summary: Life doesn’t get much better than when you get to spend it with your favorite fella. Follow the boys as they navigate from young love to newlyweds to fatherhood and beyond.
Author’s Note: Thanks to the betas, Becca and Kerry.
June, 2039
Blaine and Kurt are 45, Addie is 14, and Declan is 12.
“Is my voice really weird?” Declan asks, seemingly out of nowhere one night at dinner. “Or even a little weird?”
Kurt and Blaine look at each other and then look at Declan. His speech isn’t perfect. He can be a little hard to understand if you don’t know him well, particularly if he’s emotional or excited. But when he lost interest in speech therapy last year, his dads decided not to push the subject.
“You sound fine,” Kurt says.
“Yeah, we all understand you,” Blaine says.
Declan looks at Addie suspiciously; knowing that if anyone will tell him the truth, it’s Addie.
“I think you sound okay,” she says, after thinking for a long time. Kurt and Blaine let out a sigh of relief.
“Just okay?” Declan asks.
Addie shrugs. “You could probably sound better, if you went back to therapy.”
Declan stares at his food.
“Where d-d-did this question come from?” Blaine asks, knowing instinctively that something had to have happened at school.
“One of the girls at school said,” Declan pauses, taking a deep breath, “She said I sound like a baby. That her three year old brother talks better than I do.”
After a moment of surprised silence, Kurt asks, “What did you say?”
“Nothing,” Declan tells him. “I walked away.” He glances away from Kurt and bounces nervously in his chair.
“Well, that’s not, that’s not, that’s not very nice,” Blaine says, feeling like his heart is in his throat but trying his best not let Declan see how emotional this is making him. Too many bad memories of his own mixing with the feeling that Declan has been through enough in his life, that bullying shouldn’t be another obstacle he has to face.
“Please don’t tell anybody,” Declan whispers.
“We probably should tell your teacher,” Kurt says. He rubs his eyes, feeling awful, but much like his husband trying to keep his feelings under control.
“No, please. Please don’t,” Declan begs.
Addie’s been quiet this whole time, watching her brother and fathers discuss this.
She clears her throat and all three look over at her. She sits up straighter in her chair. “When did this happen Dec?”
“During gym today.”
“Who was it?” Addie asks.
“You don’t know her.”
“I bet I do,” Addie says, giving Declan a threatening look.
“I don’t want to talk about it anymore,” he mumbles. “I’m gonna go do my homework.”
“Alright,” Blaine says. “Let us know if you need anything.”
Declan nods and walks slowly up the stairs.
“I bet I know who it is,” Addie says icily.
“Calm down, Addie,” Kurt says. “There’s nothing you can do about it.”
“Oh, there’s plenty I could do about it. No one should mess with Declan. And it’s like an unspoken rule that you don’t make fun of the speech of the kids in the hearing program. And like everyone knows who they are. And mostly everyone is cool about it. But there’s always one b...” She stops short, glancing at her fathers, scratching at her neck self-consciously, but then she sits up straight and licks her lips. “One bitch,” she finishes her voice defiant.
“Don’t talk like that Addie.”
“Why not? That’s obviously what she is.”
“Use better words, you’re smarter than that,” Kurt admonishes.
Addie gets up from the table leaving her fathers to sit and stew.
“Oh, god, I hate this so mmm-much,” Blaine says, putting his face in his hands.
“I know, poop. I know.” Kurt rubs his arm.
“What should we dah-do?”
“I honestly don’t know.”
They talk about it, here and there over the next few weeks. School’s ending soon, and they get caught in the whirlwind of the end of the year. Addie’s graduating from middle school, which comes with more trappings than the boys could have expected.
By the time it’s all said and done, the family is exhausted and more than ready for summer vacation.
About a week after school ends Declan approaches them about something. He tells them it’s serious and that he wants them to listen before they say anything. He has them sit down on the couch and then he stands before them, face sober and eyes nervous.
“I know it’s expensive,” he starts. His anxiety is palpable, his hands shaking as he signs. “And I know you’ve already spent a lot of money on me. But I want a second cochlear implant. And I know wanting one is different than getting one, but I thought I should tell you guys.”
Blaine and Kurt sit quietly, listening.
“Um. I did some research. And a second implant often clears up a lot of the deaf accent. Even when kids get them when they’re older. Sometimes even when adults get them. And today’s implants are a lot better than the one I already have, so if this one fails, I won’t be left in the dust. I also looked around, and I found a doctor at Johns Hopkins who’s doing a study on kids who get second implants in adolescence and I kind of already emailed him myself. So like, the implant wouldn’t cost us anything if I’m part of the study, but we would have to go to Maryland sometimes.”
Now his fathers have a little harder of a time keeping their mouths shut. They both make shocked faces, but do their best.
Declan bounces on his toes nervously. “And he kind of wants to meet me, meet with us, next week. So. Um.”
His fathers remain silent.
Declan crosses his arms defensively and avoids eye contact. “Um. You can talk now. I’m sorry about going behind your backs.”
Kurt blinks with surprise, feeling pretty speechless.
“Do you have these emails you’ve been ssss-sending?” Blaine asks.
“Um, yes.”
“Can w-w-we sss-see them?”
“Okay,” Declan grabs the laptop from the kitchen counter. “Are you guys, are you really mad at me?” he asks, hesitantly.
“Jury’s still out,” Kurt says through gritted teeth, at the same time Blaine says a simple “no.”
Kurt gives Blaine a look like ‘who gave you the authority?’
Blaine shrugs. “I can’t fault his re-re-research skills,” he says.
They go over the emails together, Declan explaining what he’s already learned about the Johns Hopkins Hearing Center. And that he thinks this would be a really great opportunity for him. He also tells them that from what he’s read, a second implant can make a really big difference.
Kurt slowly relaxes, as he listens to Declan’s explanation and things fall into place.
“Is this about your speech?” Kurt asks.
Declan nods, ducking his head.
“I mean, I know I could improve it with speech therapy, but I don’t think I could improve it all the way. If I could hear better, then maybe I could. Maybe I’d sound better.”
“And what if it doesn’t work that way for you?” Kurt asks. He doesn’t want to challenge Declan; he just wants to make sure that he understands that a second implant isn’t necessarily going to be a miracle. Truth be told, Kurt doesn’t want to get his own hopes up either.
“No, I know. But it can only help right?”
Kurt nods.
“I think Dad and I need to talk about this,” Blaine tells him. “I’m impressed with what you’ve dah-dah-done, even though you really shouldn’t have done it w-w-without talking to us first. Buh-buh-ut I think you did a lot of hard work.”
Declan nods, his expression still stricken. He looks at Kurt cautiously.
“I agree,” Kurt says.
Declan lets out a long sigh of relief. “Can I go hang out with Jack?”
“Yeah, sure. Just be back in time for dinner.”
He basically leaps out the back door. Blaine sees him hop the fence between the yards and can’t help but smile. Then he turns to Kurt and sighs.
“And this is one of those s-s-situations where I’m not fit to be a, a, a parent,” Blaine says.
“What do you mean?” Kurt’s face is etched with concern.
“I’m pretty sure this is when we’re ssss-supposed to tell him that if he accepts himself other people will accept him. That he’s p-p-perfect how he is and we love him. That his s-sp-spah-eech doesn’t mmm-matter to anyone.”
Kurt nods, not sure where Blaine is going with this.
“Buu-but-ut if I could have surgery that even gave me a tiny percent chance of clearing up mmm-my own speech, I-I-I would.”
“Still?”
Blaine nods. “In a heartbeat.”
“I wouldn’t have guessed you still felt like that.”
Blaine shrugs. “It’s not like it used to be, obviously. Buh-buh-ut the idea of picking up the phone to call someone and knowing that I wouldn’t sssss-tutter? That would be amazing. Or feeling like I wouldn’t have to r-r-repeat myself when I-I-I-I try to say our last name while picking up pizza? I mean, it’s tiny stuff, but it makes a d-d-d-difference in your everyday life.”
Now it’s Kurt’s turn to nod.
“We understand Declan perfectly. Buh-buh-ut not everyone does. I’ve seen strangers give him blah-blah-ank looks when he speaks. And Declan’s seen it too. He’ll clam up,” Blaine stops, thinking about a moment he saw a few weeks ago.
Addie had a friend over. Not anyone Blaine had met before, a girl named Ashley. Addie had gone upstairs to get something for a project they were working on and Declan offered Ashley a soda, because he was getting one for himself. She was nice about it, she asked him to repeat himself, but Blaine could see that she didn’t get it. She just laughed a little, acting like Declan had said something funny and then turned away with an uncomfortable look on her face.
He relays the story to Kurt.
Kurt hangs his head, feeling defeated on Declan’s behalf.
“Yeah. I see what you mean.” Kurt sucks in a deep breath and levels his gaze at Blaine. “But what if it doesn’t have the wanted effect? What if he’s disappointed?”
Blaine smiles, thinking momentarily of a conversation he had with his parents when he was in college. “Then it’s his disappointment. But at least he tried.”
Kurt thinks it over. He knows Blaine has a point. They get in touch with the doctor themselves that evening and the decision is made that the family will go meet with him over the coming weekend.
When they tell Declan the good news, he hugs both his dads tightly, thanking them over and over again. Kurt heads out the door, needing to pick some things up for their weekend trip. After he leaves Declan stands near the kitchen doorway looking torn.
“What’s up?” Blaine asks.
“I just didn’t think you’d say yes. That because I did a lot of this without telling you guys, that you’d be mad and you’d say no to punish me or something.”
“Why did you do it the w-w-way you did?” Blaine asks.
“Because I didn’t want you to say no right away,” Declan says, shrugging. “It doesn’t make sense now, but that’s what I was thinking.”
“It’s all good, Dec,” Blaine tells him, kissing the side of his head. And for the first time ever, Blaine notices he doesn’t have to lean to accomplish that. He steps back to look at his 12 year old son and realizes Declan’s only a few inches shorter than him these days.
“What?” Declan asks, looking self-conscious.
“You grew like 7 inches s-s-s-since yesterday,” Blaine says.
“I know!” Declan exclaims. “Well, not since yesterday. But I got taller!”
They visit Johns Hopkins a couple times over the next month, and by the middle of August it’s time for Declan’s implant. He’s nervous, it’s written all over his face.
“Do you remember much about your first surgery?” Kurt asks while they wait for Declan to go into the operating room early in the morning. It’s just the three of them for this visit. Addie is spending the weekend at her friend’s house.
Declan squints his eyes. They’ve already started giving him an IV before the surgery and he’s becoming loose and slow.
“Not really. I remember my head feeling big. But, not much about the surgery,” he says.
When it’s time to go, they offer words of encouragement and then he’s through the doors.
“I think I need coffee,” Kurt says.
Blaine holds his hand out and Kurt takes it, squeezing.
The first time Declan had surgery they sat stone faced in the waiting room the entire time, feeling like they didn’t blink or breathe until the surgeon came out to talk to them. This time they promised each other they wouldn’t do that. That’s it hard enough as it is, and only made harder if they don’t try to distract themselves.
They while away an hour or so in the hotel coffee shop. They call Addie, because they promised they would. They go for a walk. At the two hour mark they allow themselves to go back to the OR waiting room. They mess around on their phones, playing games. They watch the tv in corner. At least they’re alone in the room, which always helps.
When the surgeon comes out, he tells them that it went well, perfectly in fact and that they can go into recovery and see Declan.
It’s harder this time for Blaine. He wants so much to pick Declan up and have him curl on his lap the way he did seven years ago after surgery. But that doesn’t work as well with a kid who’s almost as tall as you are.
So they comfort him as best they can and a few hours later he’s awake and okay, a little woozy and he says his head hurts. But he watches tv and video chats with Addie. (He can’t get his other transmitter on with the bandages at the moment, so he’s relying on sign.)
He’s released from the hospital that evening and they take him back to the hotel. They prop him up in one the queen sized beds and he tells his fathers he’s done with the bunk beds in his room and wants one like this. Blaine is very sad and tries to talk him out of that idea.
The next day they meet with the doctor and then head home. Declan will visit Johns Hopkins once a year for the next 5 years, but aside from that, everything else can be handled from near home.
Six weeks later and it’s time to get the new implant activated. This time around, Declan doesn’t notice much difference immediately. He says things feel more even and loud, but that’s to be expected.
It’s not until October that things start to change. Declan comes home from school one day and says that during class he could hear birds chirping outside over the sound of his teacher’s voice.
“That’s never happened b-b-before?” Blaine asks, always forgetting that the things he takes for granted might not have been in Declan’s scope of comprehension.
“Never.”
And it continues that way. He goes back to speech therapy and his enunciation starts to improve. He hears the ding of the oven timer from two rooms away. He hears footsteps on the stairs. He can pinpoint sounds in a loud room. Every time he goes to the audiologist, they adjust frequencies and sound levels. And every time he comes home and feels like he can hear a little bit better.
Kurt watches Declan one evening pluck away at the piano in the living room, playing simple melodies, smiling the whole time.
Blaine comes up behind him.
“Are we allowed to chalk this one up as a miracle?” Blaine asks.
Kurt pulls Blaine’s arms around his waist. “You know, I think we probably can.”
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