(no subject)
i want to have children some time in my life. i want to be a daddy, as scary as that may seem to some of you. i want two little kids (no more) running up to me when i come home from work. that i can play with in my yard on our swingset and go swimming with in our pool. in the fall i'll play in the leaves with them and in the winter we'll build snow forts and have snow ball fights (which i just know, inevitably, i'll peg one in the head and he'll go crying to mom or some fatefull thing like that).
in the summer we'll go to the beach and swim and run around the house and make a mess. and build stuff with legos and create huge cities with micromachines that i KNOW someday i'll find and start my collection over. (not the new lame ones either) and we'll watch kiddie movies... and play cops and robbers with little pellet guns (no i will not keep toy guns away from my children) and we'll go skating and bike riding.
and we'll go to church and they'll love god in all the right educated ways, because i'll tell them that they need to think on their own... and not just believe what they are told. i'll tell them to seek out the truth... not just take what i say as truth.
it'll be like i have my little friends to play with and be young all over again.
then i'll watch them grow up and get older... and find daddy not so cool anymore. but i'll still be there for them. and all their friends can come over and play or make out or do whatever high schoolers do. then they'll run off to college and find lovers and get into trouble and do things they shouldn't. ask for my advice once every 3 months. and i'll give it to them... and visit them in college. and become their friend all over again, and turn into their mentor instead of their father. and they'll come visit someday with their kids as my wife and i get old and start traveling the world all over the place. and we'll have huge family get togethers with all our friends and our children and their friends and their children and we'll have bands and booze and good time. adam and berta and i of course will play cause our band will be the hottest shit to hit the planet.
and someday i'll die. knowing that i had the greatest children... and the greatest life with my children... from the greatest wife that i know i'll someday have... and the greatest life with my wife.
i want this. i will acheive this. this will happen.