The article was very interesting. For reasons different from yours, I am coming to similar conclusions about my parents. This part is something I could have written: "I didn't matter. My feelings didn't matter. My thoughts didn't matter. And I grew up believing that.
It led me to choose badly in relationships and to stay in relationships long after I should have left. It led me to having unhealthy friendships as well.
It also led me to continue trying to have a relationship with my parents and never understanding why I couldn't. And it was because I chose relationships in which my thoughts and feelings weren't important."
I went to a counselor a couple years ago and one thing that just made me cry so much was when she said, "It's ok to want something." I...it's like I ..feel bad if I let myself want anything.
Anyways, please know, you are making the right choice to move on on your own. Be strong! You can do this!
In my experience, abusers will either pretend it never happened, or magically have no memory of it. My dad feigns ignorance as well. You're not alone, my friend. -hugs-
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It led me to choose badly in relationships and to stay in relationships long after I should have left. It led me to having unhealthy friendships as well.
It also led me to continue trying to have a relationship with my parents and never understanding why I couldn't. And it was because I chose relationships in which my thoughts and feelings weren't important."
I went to a counselor a couple years ago and one thing that just made me cry so much was when she said, "It's ok to want something." I...it's like I ..feel bad if I let myself want anything.
Anyways, please know, you are making the right choice to move on on your own. Be strong! You can do this!
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Congratulations to you for standing on your own and making your life more positive.
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