dreams of us
key/onew ; ~650 ; pg
they talk with their heads on pillows and their thoughts in the stars.
for kpopv ! happy valentine's day everyone ???
jinki has the covers pulled up to his chin, but he's wide awake. it's a little silly, maybe, but he doesn't quite feel safe until the door opens and clicks closed again. kibum walks in with his toiletry bag in one hand and a face towel draped around his neck. he looks best like this, jinki thinks, when he sits down on his bed and starts reorganizing his bedside belongings, freshly washed hair falling carelessly on his forehead and skin bare but gleaming. there is a certain air of relaxation and ease about him at this time of night, even when they know they will only get three hours of sleep at most.
it takes jinki a second to react when kibum suddenly stands up and walks across the small room to jinki's bed, flourishing the blankets as he pulls them up and tucks himself in. "it's cold," he pouts indignantly when jinki blinks in surprise, and then it's too natural for jinki to loosely wrap his arms around kibum's thin waist. kibum's hand finds his and he interlocks their fingers while jinki gently rearranges the soft strands of kibum's slightly damp hair with his remaining fingers.
they lie like this for a while, slow and kind touches without anything else necessary. and then kibum starts to speak, nearly delirious with a voice tinged by two a.m. and fatigue. (a voice that jinki will listen to no matter what.)
"hyung. don't you think the ceilings here are too depressing?"
"what?"
kibum sighs. "they set such high expectations for us, but the ceilings of our dorms are low and blank. white. dull. is it that they want us to paint our own futures, or is it that they're telling us that there is nothing out there? that the world is unconquerable, cold, and unpredictable?"
jinki says nothing and just continues to enjoy the feeling of kibum's hair under his fingers.
"well, at least it's not the cloud background. then it'd feel like we'd never escape the practice rooms. we wouldn't have room to be anything but an idol. a performer. a product."
"you forgot something," jinki says. "a star."
kibum laughs, but it's different than the laugh he makes when minho wears plaid and checkered prints together or when jonghyun trips out of a car. jinki doesn't know if it's meant for him, but it's different, and he likes that.
"really," jinki insists. "wouldn't it be nice if our ceiling had stars on it? instead of telling us to reach for the clouds, we could try to reach beyond them. it'd be more inspirational," kibum laughs again, "and it'd be so beautiful. we could even have the walls done too. sparkling and serene."
"you're unbelievable," kibum snorts, bringing jinki's hand up to his lips to softly kiss it and each one of his fingers. "it's too late, or too early, i don't know, to take anything seriously."
"maybe at times like these is when we're most honest. sometimes we'll say anything and everything we mean because we don't think anyone will believe us anyway." he hums for a moment. "but don't worry. i believe you."
kibum turns on his side so that he's staring into jinki's eyes, his gaze wavering from want of sleep but still inky and gorgeous. "aren't stars all dying anyway? when we can see them, isn't that because they're on the way to their death and they're burning out?"
"aren't we too? none of us are going to live forever. while we live, we might as well make a statement so we can be remembered. you know about that."
kibum smiles, tired and young and genuine. "and you too."
they fall asleep legs and fingers intertwined. they dream a lot in the span of three hours, but it's likely that they see each other in their minds and maybe in constellations too.
they talk with their heads on pillows and their thoughts in the stars.
for kpopv ! happy valentine's day everyone ???
jinki has the covers pulled up to his chin, but he's wide awake. it's a little silly, maybe, but he doesn't quite feel safe until the door opens and clicks closed again. kibum walks in with his toiletry bag in one hand and a face towel draped around his neck. he looks best like this, jinki thinks, when he sits down on his bed and starts reorganizing his bedside belongings, freshly washed hair falling carelessly on his forehead and skin bare but gleaming. there is a certain air of relaxation and ease about him at this time of night, even when they know they will only get three hours of sleep at most.
it takes jinki a second to react when kibum suddenly stands up and walks across the small room to jinki's bed, flourishing the blankets as he pulls them up and tucks himself in. "it's cold," he pouts indignantly when jinki blinks in surprise, and then it's too natural for jinki to loosely wrap his arms around kibum's thin waist. kibum's hand finds his and he interlocks their fingers while jinki gently rearranges the soft strands of kibum's slightly damp hair with his remaining fingers.
they lie like this for a while, slow and kind touches without anything else necessary. and then kibum starts to speak, nearly delirious with a voice tinged by two a.m. and fatigue. (a voice that jinki will listen to no matter what.)
"hyung. don't you think the ceilings here are too depressing?"
"what?"
kibum sighs. "they set such high expectations for us, but the ceilings of our dorms are low and blank. white. dull. is it that they want us to paint our own futures, or is it that they're telling us that there is nothing out there? that the world is unconquerable, cold, and unpredictable?"
jinki says nothing and just continues to enjoy the feeling of kibum's hair under his fingers.
"well, at least it's not the cloud background. then it'd feel like we'd never escape the practice rooms. we wouldn't have room to be anything but an idol. a performer. a product."
"you forgot something," jinki says. "a star."
kibum laughs, but it's different than the laugh he makes when minho wears plaid and checkered prints together or when jonghyun trips out of a car. jinki doesn't know if it's meant for him, but it's different, and he likes that.
"really," jinki insists. "wouldn't it be nice if our ceiling had stars on it? instead of telling us to reach for the clouds, we could try to reach beyond them. it'd be more inspirational," kibum laughs again, "and it'd be so beautiful. we could even have the walls done too. sparkling and serene."
"you're unbelievable," kibum snorts, bringing jinki's hand up to his lips to softly kiss it and each one of his fingers. "it's too late, or too early, i don't know, to take anything seriously."
"maybe at times like these is when we're most honest. sometimes we'll say anything and everything we mean because we don't think anyone will believe us anyway." he hums for a moment. "but don't worry. i believe you."
kibum turns on his side so that he's staring into jinki's eyes, his gaze wavering from want of sleep but still inky and gorgeous. "aren't stars all dying anyway? when we can see them, isn't that because they're on the way to their death and they're burning out?"
"aren't we too? none of us are going to live forever. while we live, we might as well make a statement so we can be remembered. you know about that."
kibum smiles, tired and young and genuine. "and you too."
they fall asleep legs and fingers intertwined. they dream a lot in the span of three hours, but it's likely that they see each other in their minds and maybe in constellations too.