The host, chapter 8 (part 2)
Welcome to another sporking of “This is not Twilight, I swear.” Shaolina is still in a stupid comma and Justin bailed so I’m all alone. In the last chapter we learned how souls have instinctive driving powers since Wanderer is driving to Tucson without ever taking a class, doing it slowly on a highway and is mind probing Melanie as she does so taking her into her memories. How she hasn’t crashed yet I don’t know. Now let’s see what this memory is all about.
So we start by learning that Jared owns the little house on the prairie even before the attacks. His father was conveniently a hermit who had a disdain for anything modern including pipes, toilets and “file permits and other pesky stuff like that.” I wonder if he would care about pesky stuff like that when the fines and eviction notices start rolling in.
Jared tells them to make themselves at home and Jamie does so by going right to bed. Because, you know, getting to know the kid would distract us from the compelling love story we are about to get. As everybody knows family is just too distracting. Also, they’ve been together for a month in the cabin,. Either that was an awkward month or a badly done time skip.
Melanie then starts gushing about how beautiful Jared is-- beautiful? Really? I’m not sure guys appreciate an adjectives that can be given to rainbows, flowers and unicorns. Why not use handsome or attractive? Jared responds in an even more annoying way by saying he’d rather die than be away from Melanie. So does that mean Jared’s dead and we won’t see him.
Now we’re going to play a game. I will tell you the next scene with plot points and quotes and you will guess from where Meyer ripped it off. Ready? You have to pay attention because it is so subtle. Let’s go:
1) Our heroine starts this up by trying to awkwardly seduce our “hero”
[Jared talks about finding a cot the next day so he has a place to sleep]
“I don’t think you need to find a cot, not yet.”
I feel his eyes on me, questioning, but I can’t meet them. I’m embarrassed now, too late. The words are out.
2) Our hero doesn’t get it
“We’ll stay here until the food is gone, don’t worry. I’ve slept on worse things than this couch.”
“That’s not what I mean,” I say, still looking down.
“You get the bed, Mel. I’m not budging on that.”
3) Our heroine gets even more self-conscious as she keeps on trying.
“That’s not what I mean, either.” It’s barely a whisper. “I meant the couch is plenty big for Jamie. He won’t outgrow it for a long time. I could share the bed with… you.”
There is a pause. I want to look up, to read the expression on his face, but I’m too mortified. What if he is disgusted? How will I stand it? Will he make me go away?
4) Our hero is not happy over the revelation.
His warm, callused fingers tug my chin up. My heart throbs when our eyes meet.
“Mel, I…” His face, for once, has no smile.
5) “WAHH! He doesn’t want me!”
Does he not feel the fire between his body and mine? Is that all me? How can it all be me? It feels like a flat sun trapped between us-pressed like a flower between the pages of a thick book, burning the paper. Does it feel like something else to him? Something bad?
5) Hero tries to argue his way out of this situation and fails at it
After a moment, his head turns; he’s the one looking away now, still keeping his grip on my chin. His voice is quiet. “You don’t owe me that, Melanie. You don’t owe me anything at all.”
It’s hard for me to swallow. “I’m not saying… I didn’t mean that I felt obligated. And… you shouldn’t, either. Forget I said anything.”
“Not likely, Mel.”
[…]
Jared takes a deep breath. He squints at the floor, his eyes and jaw tight. “Mel, it doesn’t have to be like that. Just because we’re together, just because we’re the last man and woman on Earth…” He struggles for words, something I don’t think I’ve ever seen him do before. “That doesn’t mean you have to do anything you don’t want to. I’m not the kind of man who would expect… You don’t have to…”
(Never mind he mouth raped her when he met her twice. Truly he‘s a chaste hero who respects her wishes.)
6) Heroine feels humiliated
[…] I want to disappear. Give up-lose my mind to the invaders if that’s what it takes to erase this huge blunder. Trade the future to blot out the last two minutes of the past. Anything.
(Nice to see her priorities. Who cares about her brother? And no this is not like wishing the ground to eat you up, getting possessed is a real possibility and a frightening one. It shouldn’t treated as a “Please God, kill me now.”)
7) Hero reassures her
“It was a miracle-more than a miracle-when I found you, Melanie. Right now, if I was given the choice between having the world back and having you, I wouldn’t be able to give you up. Not to save five billion lives.”
“That’s wrong.”
“Very wrong but very true.”
( So nobody cares for Jamie? Guess not since the heroine in turn says that if she were in a solitary island he’s the only company she wishes she’d had. Her brother can go drown somewhere. )
8) Hero controls the whole situation:
“Oh, Mel,” he sighs in my ear, and pulls my face around to meet his.
More flames in his lips, fiercer than the others, blistering. I don’t know what I’m doing, but it doesn’t seem to matter. His hands are in my hair, and my heart is about to combust. I can’t breathe. I don’twant to breathe.
But his lips move to my ear, and he holds my face when I try to find them again.
[…]
“But?” How can there be a but? What could possibly follow all this fire that starts with a but?
“Jared,” I breathe. I try to reach for his lips again. He pulls away, looking like he has something to say. What more can there be?“But…”
9) And the “but” is that the hero is the one who holds the moral high ground and recognizes what’s wrong about this situation
“But you’re seventeen, Melanie. And I’m twenty-six.”
(Huh, big age gaps. Is this somewhat familiar?)
10) The heroine in turn doesn’t care about what the male thinks
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” I lean back to search his face. “You’re going to worry about conventions when we’re past the end of the world?”
He swallows loudly before he speaks. “Most conventions exist for a reason, Mel. I would feel like a bad person, like I was taking advantage. You’re very young.”
“No one’s young anymore. Anyone who’s survived this long is ancient.”
There’s a smile pulling up one corner of his mouth. “Maybe you’re right. But this isn’t something we need to rush.”
“What is there to wait for?” I demand.
11) The hero then brings up the dangers of sex that our heroine is too stupid to think about:
“See,” he explains, hesitating. Under the deep golden tan of his skin, it looks like he might be blushing. “When I was stocking this place, I wasn’t much planning for… guests. What I mean is…” The rest comes out in a rush. “Birth control was pretty much the last thing on my mind.”
I feel my forehead crease. “Oh.”
And so sex gets averted as the male intended saving the harlot of a main character from tainting our pure male character and our heroine agrees to wait and abide to his rules, which are the true correct way by society. She agrees because he does promise to sex her up like she wants to, she just has to do what he says. So, guess what scene rips off? Think really hard about it.
…
…
…
Well, If you can’t guess yet take your copy of Eclipse and read chapter 20.It’s the same thing! I hit my head against a wall when I read this chapter because: can the author be any more unoriginal? All this is missing is Jared telling Melanie "Plese, stop being so difficult." I guess it’s not plagiarism when you steal from yourself.
Plus I don't uderstand why they can't just do other things if condoms are the only problem. Is he such a dick that he won't go down on her? How about a hand job? Rear end her? Jerk off using her breasts or thighs? I'm just saying there are plenty of ways to get off that don't end in babies. Don't tell me a 17 year old girl and a 26 year old guy can't figure that out.
Well, the chapter ends with Melanie taking Wanderer out of the memory as we reveal that she was still driving and the sorrow is making her cry. So now she‘s blinded by tears, emotionally unstable, driving in a highway without really knowing how to drive, as she hears Melanie‘s sad thoughts over how she has no time left. Do I even need to say anything about that?!
(Chapter 9)