Home Movies - 3/3
Author: shard_baenre
Title: Home Movies
Genre: Angst
Pairings: Chlex
Rating: PG13
Disclaimer: Don't own.
Summary: The loss of hope.
A/N: I wrote this for a fanfic challenge. The challenge was "abandonment".
Lex wondered if she would let him die. There were other times when he had tried to kill himself, but he would always be saved. Most of the time it was her gentle touch awakening him. He could feel the glow of the gifts bestowed upon her by green kryptonite.
He slid from his seat to the floor and paused the movie. Touching the screen, gently traced the outline of her face. Lex now understood how he was wrong. Lex had expected to see burning hatred the day she broke free of him, but that wasn’t what he had seen. Chloe had built a pyre for her hatred. She’d let it burn brightly and then smolder; but she would never let it fade completely. The ashes would be there forever because she would always fan it and feed it.
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His first plan to free himself had been to play on Chloe’s mercy and sense of right and wrong. Lex knew that Brainiac was pulling the strings. Chloe always tried vengeance first before she came to her senses, but not this time. This time she had Brainiac to stoke the flames of her hatred.
Smashing the mirror on his wall, he had mustered the courage to take a shard and rip into his wrists and throat. She would save him and she hadn’t disappointed. Lex woke in the hospital to her beautiful face. Her smile was a welcome change to the smirk that twisted her face and made her ugly.
His voice was halting due to the drugs still in his system, “I knew…that you would come. You don’t have to obey Brainiac.”
Chloe had stared at him for what seemed like an eternity before she said a word. Her voice was gentle and motherly, “Oh, Lex. Brainiac only has the thoughts I put in him. I learned so much from Jor-El and the repository of knowledge held at Superman’s Fortress of Solitude.”
Lex was confused. This cruel person couldn’t be Chloe. “But…why?”
Her eyes glazed over in memory. She was unforgiving. “Why, Lex? You made my mother into a weapon against me and I was your slave for months. I irrevocably damaged the people I loved the most in this world because of you. My father died thinking that I had…abandoned him. You took his love from me. You took my love from him. You’ll understand, Lex, eventually you’ll understand. One day you will look into my eyes and see the truth.”
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He hadn’t understood. That day and subsequent days Lex thought he saw the glimpse of insanity in her eyes. It was only in this moment, watching her play with their children, that he realized what he saw. Lex saw the beautiful boy with red hair that could only be his. His first born would never know him. He saw the sturdy dark haired child and knew it to be the child of Clark Kent. Running with both of them was the most beautiful blond child he had ever seen. She looked just like Chloe. He knew now that he had seen vindication, triumph, and now happiness in her eyes. No longer was there a burden that weighed her down. Chloe Ann Sullivan was at peace with her life and she loved it. She was in love with it.
Chloe had tried again. She recreated them. All of them friends and loving each other. All of them representing hopes and dreams. Fighting with each other, but always knowing that they would have someone to love them.
The disc he now watched had been a gift from Brainiac. He had come without Chloe, which was unusual, but he had come bearing a gift.
“She would never give this to you, Lex, but I will.”
A few days later, Brainiac had come again. Lex had needed to know why he would let Chloe be his puppet master.
“Such limited ideals you humans possess. I desire to restore Krypton to glory. To have a worthy ruler. I have succeeded in her children. A piece of Krypton, of you and Clark and Doomsday will exist within her line. What do I need of autonomy? She is my worthy ruler and I will follow her.”
“Clark will stop her, Brainiac. You’ll be destroyed and so will she!”
For a long time that thought was the only thing that sustained him; but Brainiac merely chuckled.
“Poor fool. A few years ago Doomsday killed Superman and Superman was restored to life. He was restored to life, not by some silly notion that this yellow sun will resurrect him, but by Chloe. Her knowledge of Krypton forced a reforging, creating a Superman with the spark of Doomsday within him. Clark Kent knows that the moment he moves against Chloe, she will lift her protection, and Doomsday will be re-born. The combined powers of Doomsday and Superman would destroy this world. Chloe has been good for this world. Peace. Prosperity. Destroying her would destroy the people’s faith in Superman. Man’s greatest salvation beautifully entwined with its destruction. Poetry.”
And here he was. Alone and miserable. Lex understood now. He understood that he could never make it better with begging for forgiveness or acknowledging his wrongs. Some thing could never be fixed by even a master artisan. Chloe had put herself together and had broken him beyond repair in the process. No, she would never let him die. Lex knew that he would get to live and remember for both of them. There was no happiness for him. He would die knowing that he could have had many things, but he was incapable of reaching for them because she would forever take them from him and make them her own.
Lex got to die knowing that everyone left him, no one loved him, and that nothing would fix this unbearable pain. He was the vessel of all her torments and she poured them freely. He got to suffer for them both. Just the way she wanted it.
Part II