I began the morning with fresh cannoli. It *will* be a good day.

Aug 28, 2005 09:24

Poem for calliopeo to read at the salon today in my absence. Yet another revision of the old piece for Persephone ( Read more... )

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Comments 16

dreamingchild August 29 2005, 01:17:59 UTC
Stunned by the beauty...

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shards4shekina August 30 2005, 05:01:49 UTC
believe it or not, i've been working on this poem for the last ten freaking years! this may or mayn't be the final form. (i'm guessing it's far from that, actually) i am summoning/voicing through Demeter's loss of Persephone to speak to/through the experience of having lost custody of my first daughter to her father...Demeter being the quintessential archetypal mother found in this situation...the primordial custodial battle...

would love to hear more of your experience in encountering the piece, if you're up to it...

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chalepa_ta_kala August 29 2005, 05:52:41 UTC
You were missed.

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shards4shekina August 30 2005, 05:03:59 UTC
thank you, sweets. i muchly missed being there as well and did think of it while working, felt restless, as though i couldn't shake the sensation under my skin that kept telling me i was not precisely where i ought to be!

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winterredwood August 29 2005, 16:56:00 UTC
Very, very beautiful. I wish you'd been there.

And where did you get fresh cannoli? I haven't had any in so long!

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shards4shekina August 30 2005, 05:09:43 UTC
...and i heard tell you did it justice! i wish i could have been there to hear!!! would love to hear a few words from you about your experience encountering it...particularly in light of your previous reading aloud the manifestation it took at the earlier salon...?

delicious cannoli from Bucco di Beppo. had supped there with N and Bindle and took home desert as we had become too sufficiently gorged to attempt it following dinner!

been having an unearthly craving for sweet cream filled things...particularly those involving any degree of chocolate! (oy vey)

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winterredwood August 30 2005, 07:03:05 UTC
I really liked what you did with it. It seemed more focused and intense because it was shorter. I felt that it was easier to pay attention to every single word. I think this was due in part to the fact that most of it was read in a single voice. I found it to be haunting and aching.

With mixed voices, though, there was a different effect, and I liked that also. I'd say that was more dramatic. I also found it more frightening somehow (which I liked). There was a neat layering effect there which added depth.

I'm not sure which I like better. I think I'd like to hear the earlier version read aloud again!

OK, I seriously need cannoli. I'm glad it's possible to get them around here!

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shards4shekina August 31 2005, 07:08:36 UTC
my hope was for "more focused and intense b/c ... shorter ( ... )

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