Life goes on
No MCATs on Saturday. I took a practice test. It kicked my ass, and my Dad and I agreed that it wasn't a good idea for me to take the MCATs this weekend. Maybe next spring, but definitely not this Saturday.
Kind of a bummer, after studying for the past two months and after changing my summer plans around it. That MCAT prep book didn't help me prepare for the test. It certainly helped me review my last two years of chem, bio, and physics, but the MCAT is not about subject specific material. It's all applied stuff, and the practice questions in my prep book did not prepare me well enough to actually take the test on Saturday. So, time to figure out how to get a refund (or partial refund) and how to get more practice tests/problems.
So is life. Dad seems supportive. But, I will probably take them again in the spring.
This whole MCAT thing has made me start to think, which is a bad thing. Lots of doubts and questions have come up about my career choices and plans. It's all very frightening, emotional and complicated, making it all difficult. I know I can't worry about it too much because things do work out the way they should. Still, uncertainty scares me. I know I'll get support in whatever I end up choosing, but it's having choices and choosing among them that's so difficult. There are reasons for and against everything, and I feel a little stuck in the middle of it all. I don't know what I'm planning to do after college - granted, most people don't (as I must remind myself). But I'm half-way through college right now, and those first two years went by so quickly. I'm scared I won't have something in mind when I finish in another two years.
Day-by-day, I suppose. Try out research in the fall. Talk to my professors about opportunities and internships. Maybe check in with those career people. I'll figure it out one of these days, I know that. I just wish it didn't feel so frightening.
And now that I'm not taking the MCATs on Saturday, I find myself having nothing to do. I keep asking the Dadster: so, now what should I do? He always tells me to take the day off. Eight weeks of almost always having something to do makes vacation seem weird. I mean. Breakthrough was vacation. It was a job, but that's the kind of stuff I do for vacation (I know, I'm weird). Day off meant time to lesson plan and write worksheets (and maybe invade the mall for a couple of hours with Grandma...I'm all shopped-out at this point though). I had this whole plan for studying this week, and that all has gone out the window.