Fade To Black 1/1
Fade to Black
Pairing: Clex
Rating: NC-17
Category: AU, angst, romance
Summary: Lex continues to forgive
Sequel to Hide and seek, have to read the first one to get the sequel
read Hide and seek Here
To Forgive is human…to forget is divine- James Grand
He hasn’t come down all day, Lex muses as he sits at the Kent’s kitchen table, going over all the paper work that Jonathan’s and Martha’s lawyer had dropped off earlier that day.
They left Clark everything. Understandably. The land and its profits, the eighty thousand dollars left over from Jonathan’s insurance policy. The half a million dollars left over from Martha’s. The Kents had made sure that their son was financially stable , but knowing Clark, non of that mattered to him.
He sighs to himself as he places the papers for Clark to sign to the side. He frowns as he glances at his watch, surprised at how much time has passed since he first sat down. He stands up, and goes into the refrigerator.
Clark has to eat something.
**********
He takes a moment to pause outside Clark’s bedroom door, trying in vain to ignore his mind screaming at him to leave. To run away and leave this up to someone who knew what they were doing.
He ignores the voice with a raise of his fist. He knocks twice before opening the door. He isn’t surprised to see Clark lying in bed, head buried beneath the pillows. “Clark?” He calls softly, sighing when there was no movement of being acknowledged.
He walked further into the room. “I made you a sandwich.” He offers, holding up the plate with a small twist of his lips. “I must apologize, but this is as far as my culinary skills go.” He sits beside Clark. “Clark?” He sighs loudly. “Clark, you have to eat something.” He places his hand on Clark’s arm and freezes at how cold Clark’ skin feels. More so, how green Clark’s arm looks.
He throws the plate onto the floor and uses all of his strength to turn Clark over. His eyes widen in horror as he looks down at Clark’s face. Deathly pale, blood running from his nose and mouth. The rest of his skin a horrible green hue, the green veins bulging and pulsing terribly. He places his hand on Clark’s chest, his horror increasing when he realizes he isn’t breathing.
“Clark?” He chokes out, his heart hammering in his chest as he shakes younger man hard. “Clark please!” He begs, pausing as he notices Clark’s right hand gripping something loosely. He opens the closed fist and gasps at the meteor rock radiating green. He acts fast, grabbing the rock and opening the window.
He tosses it outside as far as he can. He turns to see Clark, still unconscious, and he hurries to drag Clark out of bed, grunting at how fucking heavy he is. He drags Clark out of the bedroom, and towards the bathroom, thanking whatever deity there is that it was so close to Clark’s bedroom.
He drags Clark inside, pausing to turn the shower. He bends down and grips Clark under his shoulders. The fall backward and into the tub. The cold water from the shower rains down on both of them, and Lex’s right hand grips Clark’s own hand in his own while the other strokes Clark’s chest.
“Come on,” He urges quietly into Clark’s ear. “Please Clark.” Lex can hardly breathe. Clark’s limp heavy form weighing heavily on his chest. He frowns deeply when there is no sign of Clark waking. He’s surprised and angry by the way his lip suddenly trembles. “Fucking wake up!” He screams, tightening his hold on Clark.
He’s failed. Its only been a few days since he’s taken Clark into his care, and already he’s failed. He feels the warmth of his tears slide down his cheeks before he can stop them.
He wipes them away angrily, and starts to pound on Clark’s chest, wincing at the way his hand jarred from the impact. He closes his eyes, ready to give up when he hears a cough.
His eyes shoot open when he feels Clark move against him with a low groan.
He moves Clark‘s wet hair from his face. “Clark?” He watches as the color seemingly comes back to Clark’s pale face.
Clark coughs again. His eyes slowly slide open. “Wha…” He trails off and frowns before leaning over and vomiting up his own blood.
Lex grimaces, but continues to hold onto Clark’s shoulders, rubbing soothing circles against Clark’s back. “Its okay.” he says over and over, although the tremor in his voice says otherwise.
*********
He watches in the doorway as Clark puts on a dry shirt. He wants to yell, curse. Demand to know why he would do something so fucking stupid. Its amazing to him that the healthy looking boy standing before him was just only a few minutes ago knocking at death’s door.
“Why did you do that?” He asks harshly.
“Does it matter?”
He finds he isn’t filled with questions regarding Clark’s amazing ability to heal so quickly. Instead, he only finds himself angry. Angry that Clark, Clark who was probably more stronger than anyone he’s ever know, had given up so easily.
“Clark,” He starts slowly.
“I’m fine.” Clark cuts in softly. “I won’t-do that again. I just-I’m okay now.”
Lex stares at his back, which was rigid from obvious distress. “I’ll leave you alone.” He murmured, knowing he probably shouldn’t, but not knowing what else to do.
He turns to go but pauses to look back at Clark “Are you sure you’re all right?” He asks again.
“Yes.” Clark answers, his voice calm as if he hadn’t just tried to commit suicide. “I’m just tired. I think I’ll sleep.”
Lex grimaces. All he does is sleep. “Clark-” He breathes, not quite knowing what to said. “Why don’t you come join me downstairs?” He asks, his voice sounding lame to his own ears.
Clark only shakes his head. “I think I’ll sleep.” He repeats, already climbing in bed.
Lex stares him for a long moment before nodding. “All right.”
********
“When are you coming home Lex?”
Lex’s fingers rubbed the bridge of his nose as he answered. “I can’t right now Lana.”
“Why not?”
He grits his teeth. “Because I can’t. I have important things to take care of right now.”
“How is Clark?” She asks suddenly. “Is he doing better? I can come over and talk to him if-”
“He’s fine.” He lied. “He’s not quite up to visitors yet.”
“Oh,” She says, sounding crestfallen. “Why are you there Lex? I mean you and Clark aren’t even friends anymore.”
His hands tightens on the phone. “I’ve got to go Lana.”
She was silent for a long moment before: “You have to choose Lex. Clark or me.”
That was quite easy for him. “Goodbye Lana.” He snaps his phone shut, knowing he’s a bastard, but not really giving a damn.
“Why are you here Lex?”
Lex slowly turns around, surprised to see Clark standing in the doorway to the living room. ‘He looks broken.’ He thinks, as he takes in Clark’s appearance. Slumped shoulders, which makes him appear much smaller than he actually is, and sad green eyes that makes Lex’s stomach twist in horrible knots, but still beautiful all the same.
“You heard my conversation.” It wasn’t a question.
“Yes,” Clark answers, stepping further into the living room.
“Lex places the phone down. “Okay.” He murmurs softly.
Clarks stares at him for a long moment, and Lex feels his hope rise at the familiar hardness in the younger man’s eyes.
“Don’t you want to know how?”
Lex shakes his head “No,” He answers honestly. “But I’d like to know why you tried to kill yourself?”
Clark recoils as if slapped. “I didn’t-” He mumbles, “I just want-” He trails off with a sigh.
Lex sits forward. “What do you want Clark?” He asks because whatever it he’ll give it.
Clark’s troubled expression turns into a glare. “Why are you here?” He repeats.
“Because I want to be here” Lex answers honestly.
It must’ve not been the answer Clark was looking for because he only glares harder. “Well you shouldn’t.”
“Okay.”
“We aren’t friends,” Clark continues. “I don’t even like you.”
He wishes he could stop the hurt that course through his soul by those words but he can’t. He’s still skillful enough to hide it “Okay.”
“What do you want from me?” Clark asks, suddenly suspicious.
“Nothing.” Lex answers quickly. “I just want you to be okay.”
The glare drops, the look of sadness back in its place. “I’m not okay.” Clark says quietly. He takes a step away from Lex.
“Clark?” Lex says, his panic rising at the broken expression on Clark‘s face.
“I’ll never be okay.” He whispers, and then he was gone.
Lex stares at the empty spot Clark had just been standing in. He slowly turns towards the front door that’s currently swinging wide open. Lex is sure Clark had just revealed himself.
He slowly turns away from the open door and closes his eyes. “Oh fuck.”
*********
Leave it to Clark to go running off during the worst rainstorm of the year.
Lex drives slowly in his Mercedes, while trying to somehow evolve into a Nocturnal creature by adjusting his eyes to the darkened barely visible road. He had checked all over Smallville. He had checked the loft first, figuring that would be the first place Clark would go for solitude. Then he had checked the Talon, feeling no surprise at Clark not being there. He checked the fields, everywhere.
He realizes he’s slowly running out of ideas. He realizes he doesn’t know Clark as well as he believes he does. He picks up his cellphone as it rings. “I haven’t found him yet Chloe.”
She sighed heavily through the phone. “He’s not here either. Lex-”
“Don’t worry,” He cut in. “I’ll find him I promise. Just keep waiting there alright?”
“Okay.” She said, sounding more firm. “Please find him Lex. He tends to do really extreme things when he’s upset.”
Lex’s thoughts flash to Clark lying unconscious in his bed, his face pale.
“I know.” He says and hangs up. He tosses his phone into the passenger seat, and glances back out at the road with a frown. He’s on Loeb bridge, he realizes. The rain picks up and he switches on his high beams, his eyes widening in surprise at the streak of red suddenly appearing in front of his car. He slams down on the breaks hard. The car screeches across the bridge, and he’s suddenly hit with the worse case of Déjà vu.
His car comes to a stop just inches from a very soaked Clark. Lex clutches the steering wheel tightly in his hands, his heart pounding in his chest as he stares up at Clark’s blank face.
Gathering his wits, he throws the car in park and quickly steps out, watching as Clark turns away from him to look out over the bridge. He blinks against the rain blurring his vision as he steps closer toward Clark. “Clark, I’ve been looking all over for-”
“Do you remember this place?” Clark asks suddenly. He looks at Lex through his hair that’s plastered against his face.
“Yes.” Lex answers. He steps closer toward him. He can feel the rain seeping into his clothing and he shivers. “Clark-”
Clark looks away from him to stare back out at the river. “This is where my human life ended and the other life began.”
Lex closes his eyes, swallowing thickly as the words hit him full force. He remembers imagining he’ll feel elated at finally hearing the truth, but all he feels is sadness. Sadness and fear he’s never known before. He wasn’t ready to hear this. “Clark please-”
Clark ignores him. “I found out that day you hit me. I wasn’t human.” He shook his head, an empty smile forming on his lips. “I knew I was always different. Always felt like I didn’t belong, but this-” He holds out his arms wide, and looks straight at Lex, the same empty smile on his face. “I’m the last of my kind Lex.”
Lex doesn’t realize that his feet had even moved until he’s standing right beside Clark. “Clark-” He says, but trails off unable to speak. Clark is staring at him, his expression unreadable.
This is the first time Lex has been unable to read Clark. Clark who’s face is usually so open that you could spot a lie from a mile away. He’s a stranger. Lex realizes. This person standing beside him, watching him, is not Clark.
“This is it Lex,” Clark says quietly. “The moment you’ve been waiting for.”
This isn’t what he wants. “Clark please-”
“I hated lying to you Lex. Lying to everyone, but you-” He trails off and shakes his head. “The way you would look at me. I wouldn’t give you anything, not even an inch.” Clark looks at him, his eyes suddenly pleading. “My whole life I’ve been told to lie. Don’t draw too much attention to yourself Clark. Hide the truth Clark. Promise me you’ll always protect your secret, and I promised. I promised both of them, all the while wondering why I hate myself so much.”
“Clark please!” Lex yelled gripping Clark’s arm tightly.
“Please what?” Clark asks. “It’s the truth Lex. Just what you always wanted.” His face crumples. “I just hate what I am. Just as you hate me.”
Lex was shaking his head. “I don’t.” He said, his voice close to breaking. “I never did.”
Clark turned away from him. “The way you‘ve been looking at me lately.”
Lex shakes his head. “That doesn’t matter anymore Clark!”
He looks at Lex, his eyes pleading. “Then what does?”
Lex knows by the look in Clark’s eyes that if he answers this question wrong, it’s over. “Nothing.” He answers. “And everything.” He grips Clark’s hand in his own, his eyes desperate and pleading. “Just please Clark, lets go home.”
Clark stares at him hard for a long moment. “Okay.”
**********
Chloe pulls the door open as soon as they both step onto the porch. She stares at the both of them, both equally soaked. She glances from Lex to Clark, her eyes turning concerned as she takes in his obvious despair. “Clark-” She breathes, her voice full of worry and sorrow.
Lex watches as she reaches for him. Watches as Clark allows himself to be pulled up the stairs so that she could take care him. He doesn’t let his shoulders drop until Clark is completely out of sight.
*************
They’ve been up there for over an hour. Lex takes this time to think things through, but he finds he can’t seem to get his thoughts past Clark’s earlier confession. All this time and the answer was always right there in his face.
Clark is an alien.
Knowing the truth doesn’t feel as good as he thought it would. He hadn’t expected the truth to come with so much pain.
“Lex?”
He pauses in his pacing, and glances up at Chloe, who’s standing at the foot of the stares. He walks toward her, noting how red and puffy her eyes were. “Is he-”
“He wants to see you.” She says softly.
He feels his stomach clench in apprehension as he nods at her. “Okay.”
She eyes him carefully before speaking again. “He told me what he did,” Her voice is thick and Lex is afraid she’ll start crying. “He told me how you helped him.”
“I-” He trails off, frozen when she suddenly wraps her arms around his waist in a hug.
“Thank you.” She whispers quietly.
He hesitantly returns her hug. “Thank you for helping me.” He says, because he honestly couldn’t do it alone because he’s so tired.
She pulls away from him awkwardly and steps around him toward the kitchen.
Lex watches her. “You should stay the night,” He says. “Its too dangerous to drive.”
She nods, smiling at him over her shoulder. “Okay.”
He looks up the stairs for a long moment, before making his way up toward Clark.
******
Clark sits on his bed, dressed in dry pajamas, hands in his lap his expression sad.
“Hi.”
“Hi.”
Lex stands in the doorway, feeling unsure of himself and hating it.
Clark gently pats the spot on the bed beside him. “Can you?”
“Sure.” Lex says a little too quickly for his liking. He casually walks toward the bed and slowly sits down, casting a small glance at Clark, who sat there, staring down at his lap. “How are you feeling?” He asks lamely.
“Tired.” Clark answers with a wry smile. “Chloe’s pretty pissed at me.” He glanced at Lex. “About earlier-”
Lex shakes his head to stop him. “You don’t have to apologize or explain anything to me Clark.”
Clark shrugged. “Maybe not, but I want to.” His face takes on a strained expression as he says his next words. “I just wanted the pain to stop. Losing them is killing me and-” he trails off and reaches for Lex’s hand. “I’m glad you were here Lex. What I did was a terrible mistake.”
Clark’s hand is so warm inside his own. Much different than his own calloused hands. Soft and smooth, as if he hadn’t been using them for farm work for the past few years. He squeezes Clark’s hand with a sad smile on his own. “I never knew,” He said quietly, guilt lacing his words. “ I never thought how you must feel about yourself. I didn’t-” He’s cut off by Clark’s mouth against his own.
********
The kiss is hungry. Deep. Lex’s fist ball into Clark’s t-shirt, and instead of pushing him away, he pulls him closer. Tongues clash against each other as both men groan with need.
Something inside Lex makes him think this is wrong. Clark is grieving. He’s vulnerable right now, and it was wrong for him to take advantage of that.
As if hearing his thoughts, Clark pulls away from the kiss, his expression shy. “Sorry.”
Lex, too dazed to speak, only shakes his head. Finally he forces out: “Its okay. I understand.”
Clark, who’s eyes are now staring at Lex’s swollen mouth, slowly shakes his head. “You really don’t.”
Lex silently watches as Clark reached down and pulls his t-shirt over his head. He feels a familiar tug in the pit of his stomach as he stares at Clark’s bronze chest. Arousal. Lex knows it as sure as his own back hand. The feeling curls around him when Clark reaches for his hand again. “Are you sure?”
“Positive.” Clark whispers before pulling Lex’s mouth toward his own.
******
Clark’s skin feels like a furnace against his own. He holds on as Clark’s heavy body presses him into the mattress.
“Oh fuck!’ He moans, his grip on Clark’s shoulder’s tightening against the pleasure he feels building and coursing through him.
Slick cocks rub against one another in the most pleasurable way. So pleasurable that it makes Lex think that this is wrong. This isn’t the way the story goes. He isn’t suppose to get what he wanted.
Brown eyes stare deeply into gray ones. Lex’s hands slide down Clark’s back and grips his firm ass, urging Clark to thrust harder against him. “Yes!” He hissed quietly.
“Lex,” He pants against his mouth. “Does it feel okay?” He asks, his face twisting in pleasure.
Lex’s legs tightens around Clark’s waist. “Amazing,” He breathes. “Its-” He trails off and his back arches as he feels the familiar tightness in his balls. He comes against Clark’s stomach, his cock spilling like never before.
He pulls Clark’s mouth down for a hard kiss before pulling away to watch Clark’s face. He gently caresses Clark’s hair, face, back and He watches as Clark’s face twists in obvious pleasure. Watches as his eyes widen and his mouth opens as if in shock. He watches as Clark comes with a long shuddering groan while collapsing heavily onto his chest.
This is what he always wanted. Clark, on top of him, owning him in more ways than one.
He hopes it’ll last.
After a few silent moments, he releases Clark, who moves onto his side. He lets Clark pull him into his arms, and sighs as those strong arms wrap around his waist. He closes his eyes as Clark kisses his ear and whispers:
“I have to go away.”
**********
He body goes tense at the words. Cold dread fills him as he whispers back. “Go?”
He lets Clark roll him onto his back. He stares up at Clark. He knows his expression is cold and empty, but he couldn’t help it. He’s programmed himself to react this way for years.
“Lex-” Clark whispers sadly. He reaches for Lex’s hand. “I need to find out a few things about myself. My heritage.” He swallowed. “What I am.”
Lex instantly feels his expression soften and he squeezes Clark’s hand back. “Okay.”
“I can’t run away anymore,” He explains. “I understand that now. I have so much to learn.” His eyes turn sad as he kisses Lex’s hand. “I don’t want to leave you.”
“You have to.” Lex forces out, despite what his mind is screaming at him. He forces all the pain and sadness he feels forming inside his chest. “You need this.” He caresses Clark’s cheek. “Where will you go?”
“Up North.” Clark answers cryptically. “Way North.”
“Will you be gone long?” He asks, his voice sounding strange to his own ears.
“I don’t know.” Clark answers honestly. “Will you wait for me?”
“Yes,” He answers. “As long as it takes.”
**********
The next morning Chloe drives all three of them to the Kawatche caves, being nice enough to not mention the fact that they’re holding hands while in the back seat.
The three of them stand at the mouth of the cave, and Lex watches as Chloe hugs Clark goodbye. He idly wonders what it is Clark is whispering into her ear when her eyes suddenly turn toward his own in understanding.
Clark turns to him next, and he holds in a squeak of surprise when he’s suddenly pulled in for a passionate kiss. He returns the kiss with just as much passion until they both pull apart. He shoots and embarrassed glance in Chloe’s direction, but she just smiles knowingly.
Clark pulls in him for a hug. “I’ll miss you.” Clark whispers into his ear.
He tightens his hold on Clark. “We’ll see each other soon.”
“Yes.” Clark whispers. “Take care of Chloe okay?”
He’s nodding, willing himself not to cry. “I will.”
“And yourself too.” Clark advises.
He laughs thickly. “I’ll try.”
Clark kisses him again. “I love you Lex.”
His eyes widen in surprise and his throat tightens. “I love you too.” He chokes out.
When Clark pulls away from him he’s smiling wide. He backs away, letting his grip on Lex’s hand loosen as he walks toward the caves.
Chloe goes to stand beside him and together they both watch Clark disappear into the darkness.
“Well,” she says entwining her arm with his own. “How about some coffee?”
***********
It’s been two years now.
Two years since he moved back to Metropolis.
Three years since he merged Luthorcorp into Lexcorp.
Three years since he’s last seen Clark.
He misses him dearly. He thinks about him every night, but he knows Clark is doing something very important.
Knowing that still didn’t take away the pain of waiting though.
So he wakes up every morning, going through the motions, and waits. Waits for Clark to return to him.
He’s sitting in his living room, drinking a glass of scotch and watching television when he sees it.
A news report.
A news report showing a blue and red figure streak across the sky. The glass he’s holding shatters in his hand because he knows who it is.
A slow smile spreads across his face and he answers his cell phone as it rings.
“Its him! Do you see?”
“Yes Chloe,” He answers softly. “I do.”
Clark’s come home.
*******
Clark literally lands in front of him while he’s standing on the balcony of his penthouse, looking out over the city.
Lex takes him in, silently noting the differences. With his slicked back hair, he stood taller, his face more defined, his shoulders more broader than the last time Lex saw him. The red and blue costume he wore, showed everything and hid nothing. Looking at Clark, Lex could tell he was different. Stronger. He breathed confidence.
Clark Kent is Superman.
“Hi.”
Lex smiles. “Hello Clark.”
Clark stares at him for a long moment before blurting out: “You kept the farm.”
Lex chuckles. “Of course,” He explained, “I hired farm hands, and a cleaning service comes every week to dust. There isn’t that many deliveries made, so most of the food goes to charity.”
Clark smiles at him. “Thank you.” He whispers. “I’ve missed you.”
Lex steps forward, and places his hand on Clark’s chest. Warmth spread through his fingers. “I’ve missed you too.”
“I’ve seen the world Lex. I’ve learned so much about myself.” He grabs Lex’s other free hand. “I have so much I want to share with you.” He kisses Lex gently on the lips. “Will you let me?”
Lex smiles, and allows himself to be pulled closer. “Yes.”
Clark grins as he wraps his arms fully around Lex’s waist and lifts both of them into the air. “I’ll show you the world.”
END
Addicted to feedback
Pairing: Clex
Rating: NC-17
Category: AU, angst, romance
Summary: Lex continues to forgive
Sequel to Hide and seek, have to read the first one to get the sequel
read Hide and seek Here
To Forgive is human…to forget is divine- James Grand
He hasn’t come down all day, Lex muses as he sits at the Kent’s kitchen table, going over all the paper work that Jonathan’s and Martha’s lawyer had dropped off earlier that day.
They left Clark everything. Understandably. The land and its profits, the eighty thousand dollars left over from Jonathan’s insurance policy. The half a million dollars left over from Martha’s. The Kents had made sure that their son was financially stable , but knowing Clark, non of that mattered to him.
He sighs to himself as he places the papers for Clark to sign to the side. He frowns as he glances at his watch, surprised at how much time has passed since he first sat down. He stands up, and goes into the refrigerator.
Clark has to eat something.
**********
He takes a moment to pause outside Clark’s bedroom door, trying in vain to ignore his mind screaming at him to leave. To run away and leave this up to someone who knew what they were doing.
He ignores the voice with a raise of his fist. He knocks twice before opening the door. He isn’t surprised to see Clark lying in bed, head buried beneath the pillows. “Clark?” He calls softly, sighing when there was no movement of being acknowledged.
He walked further into the room. “I made you a sandwich.” He offers, holding up the plate with a small twist of his lips. “I must apologize, but this is as far as my culinary skills go.” He sits beside Clark. “Clark?” He sighs loudly. “Clark, you have to eat something.” He places his hand on Clark’s arm and freezes at how cold Clark’ skin feels. More so, how green Clark’s arm looks.
He throws the plate onto the floor and uses all of his strength to turn Clark over. His eyes widen in horror as he looks down at Clark’s face. Deathly pale, blood running from his nose and mouth. The rest of his skin a horrible green hue, the green veins bulging and pulsing terribly. He places his hand on Clark’s chest, his horror increasing when he realizes he isn’t breathing.
“Clark?” He chokes out, his heart hammering in his chest as he shakes younger man hard. “Clark please!” He begs, pausing as he notices Clark’s right hand gripping something loosely. He opens the closed fist and gasps at the meteor rock radiating green. He acts fast, grabbing the rock and opening the window.
He tosses it outside as far as he can. He turns to see Clark, still unconscious, and he hurries to drag Clark out of bed, grunting at how fucking heavy he is. He drags Clark out of the bedroom, and towards the bathroom, thanking whatever deity there is that it was so close to Clark’s bedroom.
He drags Clark inside, pausing to turn the shower. He bends down and grips Clark under his shoulders. The fall backward and into the tub. The cold water from the shower rains down on both of them, and Lex’s right hand grips Clark’s own hand in his own while the other strokes Clark’s chest.
“Come on,” He urges quietly into Clark’s ear. “Please Clark.” Lex can hardly breathe. Clark’s limp heavy form weighing heavily on his chest. He frowns deeply when there is no sign of Clark waking. He’s surprised and angry by the way his lip suddenly trembles. “Fucking wake up!” He screams, tightening his hold on Clark.
He’s failed. Its only been a few days since he’s taken Clark into his care, and already he’s failed. He feels the warmth of his tears slide down his cheeks before he can stop them.
He wipes them away angrily, and starts to pound on Clark’s chest, wincing at the way his hand jarred from the impact. He closes his eyes, ready to give up when he hears a cough.
His eyes shoot open when he feels Clark move against him with a low groan.
He moves Clark‘s wet hair from his face. “Clark?” He watches as the color seemingly comes back to Clark’s pale face.
Clark coughs again. His eyes slowly slide open. “Wha…” He trails off and frowns before leaning over and vomiting up his own blood.
Lex grimaces, but continues to hold onto Clark’s shoulders, rubbing soothing circles against Clark’s back. “Its okay.” he says over and over, although the tremor in his voice says otherwise.
*********
He watches in the doorway as Clark puts on a dry shirt. He wants to yell, curse. Demand to know why he would do something so fucking stupid. Its amazing to him that the healthy looking boy standing before him was just only a few minutes ago knocking at death’s door.
“Why did you do that?” He asks harshly.
“Does it matter?”
He finds he isn’t filled with questions regarding Clark’s amazing ability to heal so quickly. Instead, he only finds himself angry. Angry that Clark, Clark who was probably more stronger than anyone he’s ever know, had given up so easily.
“Clark,” He starts slowly.
“I’m fine.” Clark cuts in softly. “I won’t-do that again. I just-I’m okay now.”
Lex stares at his back, which was rigid from obvious distress. “I’ll leave you alone.” He murmured, knowing he probably shouldn’t, but not knowing what else to do.
He turns to go but pauses to look back at Clark “Are you sure you’re all right?” He asks again.
“Yes.” Clark answers, his voice calm as if he hadn’t just tried to commit suicide. “I’m just tired. I think I’ll sleep.”
Lex grimaces. All he does is sleep. “Clark-” He breathes, not quite knowing what to said. “Why don’t you come join me downstairs?” He asks, his voice sounding lame to his own ears.
Clark only shakes his head. “I think I’ll sleep.” He repeats, already climbing in bed.
Lex stares him for a long moment before nodding. “All right.”
********
“When are you coming home Lex?”
Lex’s fingers rubbed the bridge of his nose as he answered. “I can’t right now Lana.”
“Why not?”
He grits his teeth. “Because I can’t. I have important things to take care of right now.”
“How is Clark?” She asks suddenly. “Is he doing better? I can come over and talk to him if-”
“He’s fine.” He lied. “He’s not quite up to visitors yet.”
“Oh,” She says, sounding crestfallen. “Why are you there Lex? I mean you and Clark aren’t even friends anymore.”
His hands tightens on the phone. “I’ve got to go Lana.”
She was silent for a long moment before: “You have to choose Lex. Clark or me.”
That was quite easy for him. “Goodbye Lana.” He snaps his phone shut, knowing he’s a bastard, but not really giving a damn.
“Why are you here Lex?”
Lex slowly turns around, surprised to see Clark standing in the doorway to the living room. ‘He looks broken.’ He thinks, as he takes in Clark’s appearance. Slumped shoulders, which makes him appear much smaller than he actually is, and sad green eyes that makes Lex’s stomach twist in horrible knots, but still beautiful all the same.
“You heard my conversation.” It wasn’t a question.
“Yes,” Clark answers, stepping further into the living room.
“Lex places the phone down. “Okay.” He murmurs softly.
Clarks stares at him for a long moment, and Lex feels his hope rise at the familiar hardness in the younger man’s eyes.
“Don’t you want to know how?”
Lex shakes his head “No,” He answers honestly. “But I’d like to know why you tried to kill yourself?”
Clark recoils as if slapped. “I didn’t-” He mumbles, “I just want-” He trails off with a sigh.
Lex sits forward. “What do you want Clark?” He asks because whatever it he’ll give it.
Clark’s troubled expression turns into a glare. “Why are you here?” He repeats.
“Because I want to be here” Lex answers honestly.
It must’ve not been the answer Clark was looking for because he only glares harder. “Well you shouldn’t.”
“Okay.”
“We aren’t friends,” Clark continues. “I don’t even like you.”
He wishes he could stop the hurt that course through his soul by those words but he can’t. He’s still skillful enough to hide it “Okay.”
“What do you want from me?” Clark asks, suddenly suspicious.
“Nothing.” Lex answers quickly. “I just want you to be okay.”
The glare drops, the look of sadness back in its place. “I’m not okay.” Clark says quietly. He takes a step away from Lex.
“Clark?” Lex says, his panic rising at the broken expression on Clark‘s face.
“I’ll never be okay.” He whispers, and then he was gone.
Lex stares at the empty spot Clark had just been standing in. He slowly turns towards the front door that’s currently swinging wide open. Lex is sure Clark had just revealed himself.
He slowly turns away from the open door and closes his eyes. “Oh fuck.”
*********
Leave it to Clark to go running off during the worst rainstorm of the year.
Lex drives slowly in his Mercedes, while trying to somehow evolve into a Nocturnal creature by adjusting his eyes to the darkened barely visible road. He had checked all over Smallville. He had checked the loft first, figuring that would be the first place Clark would go for solitude. Then he had checked the Talon, feeling no surprise at Clark not being there. He checked the fields, everywhere.
He realizes he’s slowly running out of ideas. He realizes he doesn’t know Clark as well as he believes he does. He picks up his cellphone as it rings. “I haven’t found him yet Chloe.”
She sighed heavily through the phone. “He’s not here either. Lex-”
“Don’t worry,” He cut in. “I’ll find him I promise. Just keep waiting there alright?”
“Okay.” She said, sounding more firm. “Please find him Lex. He tends to do really extreme things when he’s upset.”
Lex’s thoughts flash to Clark lying unconscious in his bed, his face pale.
“I know.” He says and hangs up. He tosses his phone into the passenger seat, and glances back out at the road with a frown. He’s on Loeb bridge, he realizes. The rain picks up and he switches on his high beams, his eyes widening in surprise at the streak of red suddenly appearing in front of his car. He slams down on the breaks hard. The car screeches across the bridge, and he’s suddenly hit with the worse case of Déjà vu.
His car comes to a stop just inches from a very soaked Clark. Lex clutches the steering wheel tightly in his hands, his heart pounding in his chest as he stares up at Clark’s blank face.
Gathering his wits, he throws the car in park and quickly steps out, watching as Clark turns away from him to look out over the bridge. He blinks against the rain blurring his vision as he steps closer toward Clark. “Clark, I’ve been looking all over for-”
“Do you remember this place?” Clark asks suddenly. He looks at Lex through his hair that’s plastered against his face.
“Yes.” Lex answers. He steps closer toward him. He can feel the rain seeping into his clothing and he shivers. “Clark-”
Clark looks away from him to stare back out at the river. “This is where my human life ended and the other life began.”
Lex closes his eyes, swallowing thickly as the words hit him full force. He remembers imagining he’ll feel elated at finally hearing the truth, but all he feels is sadness. Sadness and fear he’s never known before. He wasn’t ready to hear this. “Clark please-”
Clark ignores him. “I found out that day you hit me. I wasn’t human.” He shook his head, an empty smile forming on his lips. “I knew I was always different. Always felt like I didn’t belong, but this-” He holds out his arms wide, and looks straight at Lex, the same empty smile on his face. “I’m the last of my kind Lex.”
Lex doesn’t realize that his feet had even moved until he’s standing right beside Clark. “Clark-” He says, but trails off unable to speak. Clark is staring at him, his expression unreadable.
This is the first time Lex has been unable to read Clark. Clark who’s face is usually so open that you could spot a lie from a mile away. He’s a stranger. Lex realizes. This person standing beside him, watching him, is not Clark.
“This is it Lex,” Clark says quietly. “The moment you’ve been waiting for.”
This isn’t what he wants. “Clark please-”
“I hated lying to you Lex. Lying to everyone, but you-” He trails off and shakes his head. “The way you would look at me. I wouldn’t give you anything, not even an inch.” Clark looks at him, his eyes suddenly pleading. “My whole life I’ve been told to lie. Don’t draw too much attention to yourself Clark. Hide the truth Clark. Promise me you’ll always protect your secret, and I promised. I promised both of them, all the while wondering why I hate myself so much.”
“Clark please!” Lex yelled gripping Clark’s arm tightly.
“Please what?” Clark asks. “It’s the truth Lex. Just what you always wanted.” His face crumples. “I just hate what I am. Just as you hate me.”
Lex was shaking his head. “I don’t.” He said, his voice close to breaking. “I never did.”
Clark turned away from him. “The way you‘ve been looking at me lately.”
Lex shakes his head. “That doesn’t matter anymore Clark!”
He looks at Lex, his eyes pleading. “Then what does?”
Lex knows by the look in Clark’s eyes that if he answers this question wrong, it’s over. “Nothing.” He answers. “And everything.” He grips Clark’s hand in his own, his eyes desperate and pleading. “Just please Clark, lets go home.”
Clark stares at him hard for a long moment. “Okay.”
**********
Chloe pulls the door open as soon as they both step onto the porch. She stares at the both of them, both equally soaked. She glances from Lex to Clark, her eyes turning concerned as she takes in his obvious despair. “Clark-” She breathes, her voice full of worry and sorrow.
Lex watches as she reaches for him. Watches as Clark allows himself to be pulled up the stairs so that she could take care him. He doesn’t let his shoulders drop until Clark is completely out of sight.
*************
They’ve been up there for over an hour. Lex takes this time to think things through, but he finds he can’t seem to get his thoughts past Clark’s earlier confession. All this time and the answer was always right there in his face.
Clark is an alien.
Knowing the truth doesn’t feel as good as he thought it would. He hadn’t expected the truth to come with so much pain.
“Lex?”
He pauses in his pacing, and glances up at Chloe, who’s standing at the foot of the stares. He walks toward her, noting how red and puffy her eyes were. “Is he-”
“He wants to see you.” She says softly.
He feels his stomach clench in apprehension as he nods at her. “Okay.”
She eyes him carefully before speaking again. “He told me what he did,” Her voice is thick and Lex is afraid she’ll start crying. “He told me how you helped him.”
“I-” He trails off, frozen when she suddenly wraps her arms around his waist in a hug.
“Thank you.” She whispers quietly.
He hesitantly returns her hug. “Thank you for helping me.” He says, because he honestly couldn’t do it alone because he’s so tired.
She pulls away from him awkwardly and steps around him toward the kitchen.
Lex watches her. “You should stay the night,” He says. “Its too dangerous to drive.”
She nods, smiling at him over her shoulder. “Okay.”
He looks up the stairs for a long moment, before making his way up toward Clark.
******
Clark sits on his bed, dressed in dry pajamas, hands in his lap his expression sad.
“Hi.”
“Hi.”
Lex stands in the doorway, feeling unsure of himself and hating it.
Clark gently pats the spot on the bed beside him. “Can you?”
“Sure.” Lex says a little too quickly for his liking. He casually walks toward the bed and slowly sits down, casting a small glance at Clark, who sat there, staring down at his lap. “How are you feeling?” He asks lamely.
“Tired.” Clark answers with a wry smile. “Chloe’s pretty pissed at me.” He glanced at Lex. “About earlier-”
Lex shakes his head to stop him. “You don’t have to apologize or explain anything to me Clark.”
Clark shrugged. “Maybe not, but I want to.” His face takes on a strained expression as he says his next words. “I just wanted the pain to stop. Losing them is killing me and-” he trails off and reaches for Lex’s hand. “I’m glad you were here Lex. What I did was a terrible mistake.”
Clark’s hand is so warm inside his own. Much different than his own calloused hands. Soft and smooth, as if he hadn’t been using them for farm work for the past few years. He squeezes Clark’s hand with a sad smile on his own. “I never knew,” He said quietly, guilt lacing his words. “ I never thought how you must feel about yourself. I didn’t-” He’s cut off by Clark’s mouth against his own.
********
The kiss is hungry. Deep. Lex’s fist ball into Clark’s t-shirt, and instead of pushing him away, he pulls him closer. Tongues clash against each other as both men groan with need.
Something inside Lex makes him think this is wrong. Clark is grieving. He’s vulnerable right now, and it was wrong for him to take advantage of that.
As if hearing his thoughts, Clark pulls away from the kiss, his expression shy. “Sorry.”
Lex, too dazed to speak, only shakes his head. Finally he forces out: “Its okay. I understand.”
Clark, who’s eyes are now staring at Lex’s swollen mouth, slowly shakes his head. “You really don’t.”
Lex silently watches as Clark reached down and pulls his t-shirt over his head. He feels a familiar tug in the pit of his stomach as he stares at Clark’s bronze chest. Arousal. Lex knows it as sure as his own back hand. The feeling curls around him when Clark reaches for his hand again. “Are you sure?”
“Positive.” Clark whispers before pulling Lex’s mouth toward his own.
******
Clark’s skin feels like a furnace against his own. He holds on as Clark’s heavy body presses him into the mattress.
“Oh fuck!’ He moans, his grip on Clark’s shoulder’s tightening against the pleasure he feels building and coursing through him.
Slick cocks rub against one another in the most pleasurable way. So pleasurable that it makes Lex think that this is wrong. This isn’t the way the story goes. He isn’t suppose to get what he wanted.
Brown eyes stare deeply into gray ones. Lex’s hands slide down Clark’s back and grips his firm ass, urging Clark to thrust harder against him. “Yes!” He hissed quietly.
“Lex,” He pants against his mouth. “Does it feel okay?” He asks, his face twisting in pleasure.
Lex’s legs tightens around Clark’s waist. “Amazing,” He breathes. “Its-” He trails off and his back arches as he feels the familiar tightness in his balls. He comes against Clark’s stomach, his cock spilling like never before.
He pulls Clark’s mouth down for a hard kiss before pulling away to watch Clark’s face. He gently caresses Clark’s hair, face, back and He watches as Clark’s face twists in obvious pleasure. Watches as his eyes widen and his mouth opens as if in shock. He watches as Clark comes with a long shuddering groan while collapsing heavily onto his chest.
This is what he always wanted. Clark, on top of him, owning him in more ways than one.
He hopes it’ll last.
After a few silent moments, he releases Clark, who moves onto his side. He lets Clark pull him into his arms, and sighs as those strong arms wrap around his waist. He closes his eyes as Clark kisses his ear and whispers:
“I have to go away.”
**********
He body goes tense at the words. Cold dread fills him as he whispers back. “Go?”
He lets Clark roll him onto his back. He stares up at Clark. He knows his expression is cold and empty, but he couldn’t help it. He’s programmed himself to react this way for years.
“Lex-” Clark whispers sadly. He reaches for Lex’s hand. “I need to find out a few things about myself. My heritage.” He swallowed. “What I am.”
Lex instantly feels his expression soften and he squeezes Clark’s hand back. “Okay.”
“I can’t run away anymore,” He explains. “I understand that now. I have so much to learn.” His eyes turn sad as he kisses Lex’s hand. “I don’t want to leave you.”
“You have to.” Lex forces out, despite what his mind is screaming at him. He forces all the pain and sadness he feels forming inside his chest. “You need this.” He caresses Clark’s cheek. “Where will you go?”
“Up North.” Clark answers cryptically. “Way North.”
“Will you be gone long?” He asks, his voice sounding strange to his own ears.
“I don’t know.” Clark answers honestly. “Will you wait for me?”
“Yes,” He answers. “As long as it takes.”
**********
The next morning Chloe drives all three of them to the Kawatche caves, being nice enough to not mention the fact that they’re holding hands while in the back seat.
The three of them stand at the mouth of the cave, and Lex watches as Chloe hugs Clark goodbye. He idly wonders what it is Clark is whispering into her ear when her eyes suddenly turn toward his own in understanding.
Clark turns to him next, and he holds in a squeak of surprise when he’s suddenly pulled in for a passionate kiss. He returns the kiss with just as much passion until they both pull apart. He shoots and embarrassed glance in Chloe’s direction, but she just smiles knowingly.
Clark pulls in him for a hug. “I’ll miss you.” Clark whispers into his ear.
He tightens his hold on Clark. “We’ll see each other soon.”
“Yes.” Clark whispers. “Take care of Chloe okay?”
He’s nodding, willing himself not to cry. “I will.”
“And yourself too.” Clark advises.
He laughs thickly. “I’ll try.”
Clark kisses him again. “I love you Lex.”
His eyes widen in surprise and his throat tightens. “I love you too.” He chokes out.
When Clark pulls away from him he’s smiling wide. He backs away, letting his grip on Lex’s hand loosen as he walks toward the caves.
Chloe goes to stand beside him and together they both watch Clark disappear into the darkness.
“Well,” she says entwining her arm with his own. “How about some coffee?”
***********
It’s been two years now.
Two years since he moved back to Metropolis.
Three years since he merged Luthorcorp into Lexcorp.
Three years since he’s last seen Clark.
He misses him dearly. He thinks about him every night, but he knows Clark is doing something very important.
Knowing that still didn’t take away the pain of waiting though.
So he wakes up every morning, going through the motions, and waits. Waits for Clark to return to him.
He’s sitting in his living room, drinking a glass of scotch and watching television when he sees it.
A news report.
A news report showing a blue and red figure streak across the sky. The glass he’s holding shatters in his hand because he knows who it is.
A slow smile spreads across his face and he answers his cell phone as it rings.
“Its him! Do you see?”
“Yes Chloe,” He answers softly. “I do.”
Clark’s come home.
*******
Clark literally lands in front of him while he’s standing on the balcony of his penthouse, looking out over the city.
Lex takes him in, silently noting the differences. With his slicked back hair, he stood taller, his face more defined, his shoulders more broader than the last time Lex saw him. The red and blue costume he wore, showed everything and hid nothing. Looking at Clark, Lex could tell he was different. Stronger. He breathed confidence.
Clark Kent is Superman.
“Hi.”
Lex smiles. “Hello Clark.”
Clark stares at him for a long moment before blurting out: “You kept the farm.”
Lex chuckles. “Of course,” He explained, “I hired farm hands, and a cleaning service comes every week to dust. There isn’t that many deliveries made, so most of the food goes to charity.”
Clark smiles at him. “Thank you.” He whispers. “I’ve missed you.”
Lex steps forward, and places his hand on Clark’s chest. Warmth spread through his fingers. “I’ve missed you too.”
“I’ve seen the world Lex. I’ve learned so much about myself.” He grabs Lex’s other free hand. “I have so much I want to share with you.” He kisses Lex gently on the lips. “Will you let me?”
Lex smiles, and allows himself to be pulled closer. “Yes.”
Clark grins as he wraps his arms fully around Lex’s waist and lifts both of them into the air. “I’ll show you the world.”
END
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