Feeding my ego makes me suspicious, at best, in any overt fashion. Gushing over my looks, my intelligence, my wonderfulness... has pretty much always made me squirm.
Simply paying attention to me works nicely to let me know you find me interesting - but paying attention to me generally includes responding with at least questions, if not with debate or add-on comments. "Interesting" doesn't make it to my 'heart,' though, or I suspect I would be in a lot of trouble.
Good comments, all. I can't say exactly what prompted this post but have some ideas:
First caveat: Generalizing by gender is fraught with minefields and I don't want, or intend, to go there. That said:
Everyone seems to like a reflective and thoughtful listener. Women respond to it well but *something* seems different with men. It's almost as if you're reinforcing a view they already have of themselves. I'll confess that I don't understand it, but men seem comfortably satisfied with genuine attention to their comments while women seem more surprised that you're giving them attention.
The brownies were a cheap add on. Almost everyone likes them but men tend to be larger and, consequently, tend to have a greater capacity for consumption.
Just for the record, I never "gush," it's messy and insincere. If I'm showing interest, it's genuine, and I'll flatter myself by saying that I can distinguish what has depth from toss-offs.
Sorry to hear about the coordinator for gifted programs. I'm impressed if you managed not to gag; I would have.
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Simply paying attention to me works nicely to let me know you find me interesting - but paying attention to me generally includes responding with at least questions, if not with debate or add-on comments. "Interesting" doesn't make it to my 'heart,' though, or I suspect I would be in a lot of trouble.
Not sure I know what "the fastest way" is.
But I do like brownies...
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First caveat: Generalizing by gender is fraught with minefields and I don't want, or intend, to go there. That said:
Everyone seems to like a reflective and thoughtful listener. Women respond to it well but *something* seems different with men. It's almost as if you're reinforcing a view they already have of themselves. I'll confess that I don't understand it, but men seem comfortably satisfied with genuine attention to their comments while women seem more surprised that you're giving them attention.
The brownies were a cheap add on. Almost everyone likes them but men tend to be larger and, consequently, tend to have a greater capacity for consumption.
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Sorry to hear about the coordinator for gifted programs. I'm impressed if you managed not to gag; I would have.
Brownies are generally available.
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