I gotta agree with this too... so add it to what I said. :p Like when I was with Peter and the stress of the relationship was pushing me towards behaviors that are not the norm and are things I would never tolerate in others... I had to get rid of him to get my life back to status quo.
"It makes it simpler to reacquire a sense of self." Yeah, I get that. That's usually how I deal with stuff. But this time, I haven't lost my sense of self, I just haven't forgiven myself.
I'm wondering in the general sense of life and internal moral values. For example... if you pride yourself on always telling the truth, and suddenly one day you tell a lie, how do you live with yourself?
Integrity isn't a binary value and you either have it or you don't, and if you lose it, that's it.
If you did something that you're not proud of, then pick yourself up, make amends the best you can, and then do better in the future.
If you fail at the same thing over and over, then the question is what can you do to not fail again. But even in that case, it's still not, "You fail, you lose."
If you did something that you're not proud of, then pick yourself up, make amends the best you can, and then do better in the future.
Yeah, done that.
I don't see it as a binary value, in that it can't be gained back. It's the fact that this is the first time it's ever been lost. Losing the ability to truthfully say "I would never... I have never..." is forever gone.
I haven't lost my integrity before really... but I guess if I had, I'd just suck it up, admit my integrity losing actions to everyone as means to begin regaining it...
Or at least i dont' think I've lost it before... *ponders*
"I'd just suck it up, admit my integrity losing actions to everyone as means to begin regaining it... "
Yeah, done that. I'm wondering how to deal with myself now. I now know I am capable of not acting with integrity, even if once every 20 years, and I'm not sure how to handle that knowledge.
Losing integrity briefly every 20 years makes you a billion times better than the average person on the planet. Learn from it so you don't repeat the action, embrace being human and go smoke a cigarette.
... or something.
I know it's not so easy as that... I mean, I'm still really fucking pissed at myself for that Peter situation. I see all the logical crap... and get it but still feel shame and haven't figured out how to totally accept myself for that huge blunder.
I'm completely accepting of myself. I haven't 100% forgiven myself but I'll get fully there in a couple more days. It's just the fact that yeah, I just found out I'm not a robot, heh.
I try at all times to maintain my integrity, even when telling the truth can make me look like a bitch or a douche.
The times when I have felt the need to lie to save somebody's feelings, I feel dirty and I want to kick myself in the ass. The rare times that has happened, I own up to what I've done even if it's just to myself (i.e. not trying to convince myself that the lie is really a truth) and I will move on, because dwelling in the past and living with regret is counterproductive.
Karma is the creed by which I choose to live my life, and I try at all times to do right by other people. In the end, however, I'm only human and I'm destined to suffer failures every so often, so I try not to be too harsh on myself.
Losing one's integrity doesn't mean that you can't continue to lead a good life, learn from your mistakes, and live with the experience knowing that in the end you can only become a stronger, more well rounded human being.
I have a rule that I never lie. It's the one thing I stick to above all else, regardless of the consequences. It makes life easier, and never requires owning up to anything.
I did something disrespectful recently. I didn't lie, but I crossed my own moral line and didn't know I had for a few days. Sure, I'll learn from it. I just don't like that my lesson is finding out I'm capable of things I didn't think I was, and that I need to watch myself in the future. I live my life with all my cards on the table, and as a result I've never had to worry about checking myself. I just found out that once in a while it's possible I'll forget to put a card out.
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I also have more conversations with my friends, those are usually enlightening.
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If you did something that you're not proud of, then pick yourself up, make amends the best you can, and then do better in the future.
If you fail at the same thing over and over, then the question is what can you do to not fail again. But even in that case, it's still not, "You fail, you lose."
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Yeah, done that.
I don't see it as a binary value, in that it can't be gained back. It's the fact that this is the first time it's ever been lost. Losing the ability to truthfully say "I would never... I have never..." is forever gone.
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Or at least i dont' think I've lost it before... *ponders*
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Yeah, done that. I'm wondering how to deal with myself now. I now know I am capable of not acting with integrity, even if once every 20 years, and I'm not sure how to handle that knowledge.
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*confused look*
*grins*
Losing integrity briefly every 20 years makes you a billion times better than the average person on the planet. Learn from it so you don't repeat the action, embrace being human and go smoke a cigarette.
... or something.
I know it's not so easy as that... I mean, I'm still really fucking pissed at myself for that Peter situation. I see all the logical crap... and get it but still feel shame and haven't figured out how to totally accept myself for that huge blunder.
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The times when I have felt the need to lie to save somebody's feelings, I feel dirty and I want to kick myself in the ass. The rare times that has happened, I own up to what I've done even if it's just to myself (i.e. not trying to convince myself that the lie is really a truth) and I will move on, because dwelling in the past and living with regret is counterproductive.
Karma is the creed by which I choose to live my life, and I try at all times to do right by other people. In the end, however, I'm only human and I'm destined to suffer failures every so often, so I try not to be too harsh on myself.
Losing one's integrity doesn't mean that you can't continue to lead a good life, learn from your mistakes, and live with the experience knowing that in the end you can only become a stronger, more well rounded human being.
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I did something disrespectful recently. I didn't lie, but I crossed my own moral line and didn't know I had for a few days. Sure, I'll learn from it. I just don't like that my lesson is finding out I'm capable of things I didn't think I was, and that I need to watch myself in the future. I live my life with all my cards on the table, and as a result I've never had to worry about checking myself. I just found out that once in a while it's possible I'll forget to put a card out.
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