(no subject)
Sorry for not having real updates, lately. I don't have anything to write about. =/
A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral. A huge heart covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service.
Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside. The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.
At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes stared at him, he said, "I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my own funeral... I'm a gynecologist."
That's when the proctologist fainted.
-----
TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I."
ELLEN: I is...
TEACHER: No, Ellen.... Always say, "I am."
ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
-----
Ways the Bible Would Be Different if it were Written by College Students
+ Loaves and Fishes replaced by Pizza and Chips
+ Ten Commandments are actually only five, but because they are double-spaced and printed in a large font, they'd look like ten
+ Forbidden fruit would have been eaten because it wasn't dorm food
+ Paul's Letters to the Romans become Paul's E-Mail to the Romans
+ Reason Cain killed Abel -- they were roommates
+ The place where the end of the world occurs wouldn't be the Plains of Armageddon, but the Halls of Finals
+ The Book of Armaments would be in there somewhere
+ Reason why Moses and followers walked in desert for 40 years: They didn't want to ask directions and look like a Freshman
+ Tower of Babel blamed for Foreign Language requirement
+ Instead of God creating the world in six days and resting on the seventh, He would have put it off until the night before it was due and then pulled an all-nighter and hoped no one noticed
------
How to Survive College
Minimize food budget by scheduling classes around Happy Hour.
Enjoy being a Sophomore -- It will be the best three years of your life.
Wear an athletic cup to panty raids, because it's all fun and games until someone loses their 'nads.
Lemon juice and baking soda make an excellent bong water stain remover.
Earn extra cash by parlaying chemistry knowledge into lucrative "home pharmaceuticals" business.
If an 8:00 am class is required for your major, change your major.
Boring lecture? Start a wave!
College-level algebra: 5 returnable bottles = 1 delicious Ramen Noodle dinner.
"I Phelta Thi" is not a real fraternity, except at state colleges.
Remember - almost no one complains when you puke in a dumpster.
Clever margin manipulation can turn a 4-page outline into a 100-page senior essay.
Football games were never meant to be observed by sober people.
Don't think of it as sleeping with your professor -- think of it as "acing Biology."
In a pinch, milk can be used as a beer substitute in your breakfast cereal.
I cannot help it
I couldn't stop it if I tried
The same old heartbeat
Fills the emptiness I have inside
And with it you can't fight love so I won't complain
So why would I stop the fire that keeps me going on
Cause when there's you I feel whole
And there's no better feeling in the world
Without you I'm alone
And I'd rather be in love..ohh
Turn out the lights now
To see is to believe
I just want you near me
I just want you here with me
And I'd give up everything only for you
It's the least that I could do
And when there's you I feel whole
And there's no better feeling in the world
Without you I'm alone
And I'd rather be in love..ohh
I'd rather be in love with you
Feel you holding me
Why are we afraid to be in love..to be loved
I Can't explain it
I know it's tough..to be loved
And I feel you holding me
OH ohhh And when there's you I feel whole
And there's no better feeling in the world
Cause without you I'm alone
And I'd rather be in love..ohh
I'd rather be in love yes I'd rather be in love
Ow I'd rather be in love with you
Feel you holding me
-----
Just a day,
Just an ordinary day.
Just tryin to get by.
Just a boy,
Just an ordinary boy.
But he was looking to the sky.
And as he asked if i would come along
I started to realize-
That everyday you find
Just what he's looking for,
Like a shooting star he shines.
He said take my hand,
Live while you can
Don't you see your dreams right in the palm of your hand?
And as he spoke, he spoke ordinary words
Although they did not feel
For I felt what I had not felt before
You'd swear those words could heal.
And as I looked up into those eyes
His vision borrows mine.
And to know he's no stranger,
For I feel I've held him for all of time.
And he said take my hand,
Live while you can
Don't you see your dreams right in the palm of your hand
in the palm of your hand.
Please come with me,
See what I see.
Touch the stars for time will not flee.
Time will not flee.
Can you see?
Just a dream, just an ordinary dream.
As I wake in bed
And the boy, that boy, that ordinary boy.
Or was it all in my head?
Did he asked if I would come along
It all seemed so real.
But as i looked to the door,
I saw that boy standing there with a deal.
And he said he my take my hand,
Live while you can,
Don't you see your dreams right in the palm of your hand
right in the palm of your hand,
right in the palm of your hand.
Just a day, just an ordinary day
Just tryin to get by.
Just a boy,
Just an ordinary boy.
But he was looking to the sky.
You know, now that I think of it, I do have something to say.
I really wonder about him. I think about him a lot. I love talking to him, and get happy when I do. That happiness carries over into other areas of life, too. And I don't think I ever really have had a crush like this before. It's cool, but it's so... frustrating, at the same time. Because I don't want it, but there it is. Is that weird? Liking him makes me HAPPY. It's not HIM, that does it. It's LIKING him. ...I so just made a fool of myself. =/
Gooddddd nighttttttt.
A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral. A huge heart covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service.
Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside. The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.
At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes stared at him, he said, "I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my own funeral... I'm a gynecologist."
That's when the proctologist fainted.
-----
TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I."
ELLEN: I is...
TEACHER: No, Ellen.... Always say, "I am."
ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
-----
Ways the Bible Would Be Different if it were Written by College Students
+ Loaves and Fishes replaced by Pizza and Chips
+ Ten Commandments are actually only five, but because they are double-spaced and printed in a large font, they'd look like ten
+ Forbidden fruit would have been eaten because it wasn't dorm food
+ Paul's Letters to the Romans become Paul's E-Mail to the Romans
+ Reason Cain killed Abel -- they were roommates
+ The place where the end of the world occurs wouldn't be the Plains of Armageddon, but the Halls of Finals
+ The Book of Armaments would be in there somewhere
+ Reason why Moses and followers walked in desert for 40 years: They didn't want to ask directions and look like a Freshman
+ Tower of Babel blamed for Foreign Language requirement
+ Instead of God creating the world in six days and resting on the seventh, He would have put it off until the night before it was due and then pulled an all-nighter and hoped no one noticed
------
How to Survive College
Minimize food budget by scheduling classes around Happy Hour.
Enjoy being a Sophomore -- It will be the best three years of your life.
Wear an athletic cup to panty raids, because it's all fun and games until someone loses their 'nads.
Lemon juice and baking soda make an excellent bong water stain remover.
Earn extra cash by parlaying chemistry knowledge into lucrative "home pharmaceuticals" business.
If an 8:00 am class is required for your major, change your major.
Boring lecture? Start a wave!
College-level algebra: 5 returnable bottles = 1 delicious Ramen Noodle dinner.
"I Phelta Thi" is not a real fraternity, except at state colleges.
Remember - almost no one complains when you puke in a dumpster.
Clever margin manipulation can turn a 4-page outline into a 100-page senior essay.
Football games were never meant to be observed by sober people.
Don't think of it as sleeping with your professor -- think of it as "acing Biology."
In a pinch, milk can be used as a beer substitute in your breakfast cereal.
I cannot help it
I couldn't stop it if I tried
The same old heartbeat
Fills the emptiness I have inside
And with it you can't fight love so I won't complain
So why would I stop the fire that keeps me going on
Cause when there's you I feel whole
And there's no better feeling in the world
Without you I'm alone
And I'd rather be in love..ohh
Turn out the lights now
To see is to believe
I just want you near me
I just want you here with me
And I'd give up everything only for you
It's the least that I could do
And when there's you I feel whole
And there's no better feeling in the world
Without you I'm alone
And I'd rather be in love..ohh
I'd rather be in love with you
Feel you holding me
Why are we afraid to be in love..to be loved
I Can't explain it
I know it's tough..to be loved
And I feel you holding me
OH ohhh And when there's you I feel whole
And there's no better feeling in the world
Cause without you I'm alone
And I'd rather be in love..ohh
I'd rather be in love yes I'd rather be in love
Ow I'd rather be in love with you
Feel you holding me
-----
Just a day,
Just an ordinary day.
Just tryin to get by.
Just a boy,
Just an ordinary boy.
But he was looking to the sky.
And as he asked if i would come along
I started to realize-
That everyday you find
Just what he's looking for,
Like a shooting star he shines.
He said take my hand,
Live while you can
Don't you see your dreams right in the palm of your hand?
And as he spoke, he spoke ordinary words
Although they did not feel
For I felt what I had not felt before
You'd swear those words could heal.
And as I looked up into those eyes
His vision borrows mine.
And to know he's no stranger,
For I feel I've held him for all of time.
And he said take my hand,
Live while you can
Don't you see your dreams right in the palm of your hand
in the palm of your hand.
Please come with me,
See what I see.
Touch the stars for time will not flee.
Time will not flee.
Can you see?
Just a dream, just an ordinary dream.
As I wake in bed
And the boy, that boy, that ordinary boy.
Or was it all in my head?
Did he asked if I would come along
It all seemed so real.
But as i looked to the door,
I saw that boy standing there with a deal.
And he said he my take my hand,
Live while you can,
Don't you see your dreams right in the palm of your hand
right in the palm of your hand,
right in the palm of your hand.
Just a day, just an ordinary day
Just tryin to get by.
Just a boy,
Just an ordinary boy.
But he was looking to the sky.
You know, now that I think of it, I do have something to say.
I really wonder about him. I think about him a lot. I love talking to him, and get happy when I do. That happiness carries over into other areas of life, too. And I don't think I ever really have had a crush like this before. It's cool, but it's so... frustrating, at the same time. Because I don't want it, but there it is. Is that weird? Liking him makes me HAPPY. It's not HIM, that does it. It's LIKING him. ...I so just made a fool of myself. =/
Gooddddd nighttttttt.