(A funeral. The casket is upstage center, and black-clad MOURNERS are milling around. TIMMY, a boy of five, is downstage, shyly standing next to his mother, MARJORIE. EDWARD, holding a notepad, is kneeling and talking to TIMMY.)

EDDIE (to TIMMY)
A noun? It’s like a person, place or thing.

MARJORIE (to TIMMY)What’s something you saw today, ( Read more... )

(A recording studio. SCOTT stands alone, fretting. After a beat, THERESA enters.)

SCOTT
He still out there?

THERESA
Yeah.

(pause)

SCOTT
If he can’t go through with it, are you willing to do the voiceover?

THERESA
No! I have a horrible voice!

SCOTT
Don’t say that.

THERESA
It’s true! It’s worse than yours.

(pause)SCOTT ( Read more... )

VADER
Garage sale! Garage sale! Come and get your garage sale!

STORM TROOPER (approaching)
I thought you said this was a garage sale.

VADER
No! I said it was MY garage sale! By myself! Now move it!

fin

As usual, Ken was the first person sitting in the conference room. His employees trickled in gradually, so there was some smalltalk before the meeting ( Read more... )

(A morgue. Four bodies are covered with sheets. TONY PRATT, coroner, lifts one of the sheets and speaks into a handheld tape recorder.)TONY ( Read more... )

Jason fished out his wallet and looked up. Then his heart swelled against his ribcage ( Read more... )

(A restaurant. A MAÎTRE D’ answers the phone. It’s FRED DURST.)MAÎTRE D ( Read more... )

(Wesley Snipes talks on an airplane phone to hijacker and terrorist mastermind Charles Rane.)

In “Passenger 57”

SNIPES
You ever play roulette?

RANE
On occasion.

SNIPES
Well let me give you a word of advice: always bet on black.

In Real Life

SNIPES
You ever play roulette?

(pause)RANE ( Read more... )

Finally, as promised, a special comment for the guy sitting behind me at the 9:15 showing of “Iron Man” last night ( Read more... )

In case anyone is interested, a short piece I wrote is being performed in Chicago as part of an evening of short pieces. It's called "Raw: The Write Club Sampler." It runs the next three Tuesdays (May 13, 20, and 27) at 8pm at the Peter Jones Gallery. (That's at 1806 West Cuyler, just north of Irving Park and Ravenswood.) I'm also acting in a ( Read more... )