Fic: Epilogue
Epilogue
Pairing(s) in the story: Jemaine/Bret (Flight of the Conchords)
Author Name/Pen Name: she_burns1
Beta: lordstarfish
Disclaimer: I do not own Flight of the Conchords, or Hbo, or Bret, or Jemaine…though I will glad take donations of Bret/Jemaine!
Rating of story: NC17
Word Count: 7,304 (It's a bit long)
Warnings: Smut, smut, oh yes and a lovely side of smut.
Brief summary: Bret and Jemaine try to consumate their relationship.
Notes: It’s been a loooong road - but this is it! The close out to my long standing series of stories - and it’s the part everyone’s really been waiting for - I finally give you the sexy stuff. Hope it’s good!!
i. first try
When Jemaine came home from the grocery, his arms full of brown paper bags, he distinctly heard the sound of violins and stiffened.
Oh no.
Not again.
He licked his lips and put down the bags on the kitchen table, his palms suddenly sweaty. He wiped his hands on his jeans and warily looked around. Where was Bret this time?
Jemaine cleared his throat, waiting for his boyfriend (it was still weird, even to think it - not that it wasn’t wonderful but still, weird) to come out of wherever he had hidden himself. Normally by now, Bret strolled out and tried, in the most discreet way possible, to seduce Jemaine, but this time he didn’t seem quick in coming.
Frowning, Jemaine became a bit more emboldened and entered the bedroom only to find Bret on his bed. He was lying on his side, wearing a nice suit, fast asleep. Jemaine’s lips twitched as he walked over and looked down at Bret’s sleeping form.
Bret was snoring softly and cradled in his left hand was a single rose and a new toothbrush. Jemaine sighed and crouched down next to him. He placed a gentle kiss on Bret’s cheek and Bret shifted, letting out a sleepy noise as his eyelashes fluttered against his face.
He slowly opened his eyes and stretched. He blinked a few times and looked at Jemaine, “’M…”
“Hey.”
Bret looked at the light outside and the bed, then smiled sheepishly.
“…fell asleep.”
“So I see.”
Bret took in a deep breath, “I was waiting for you. Took a flippin’ long time.”
“Went by Dave’s. Ran into Mel too.”
“Oh yeah?”
Jemaine nodded.
“How’s she?” Bret mumbled, still a little cloudy.
“Says the Dogggz are ignoring her. Thinkin’ about coming to our show this week.”
“Yeah?”
“Doug misses us too, apparently.”
“Really?”
Jemaine nodded again, then looked at Bret’s left hand, “Those for me?”
Bret’s fingers flexed involuntarily and he felt the stem of the rose and the bristles of the toothbrush. He turned his head slightly until he could see them, then, giving a sad little grin, he held them out, “Yeah.”
Jemaine took them both, “Thanks.”
“Supposed to be more romantic.”
“Yeah?”
“You were gonna come home, nice music, me in the suit; give you the gifts…maybe some dinner, some kissing, then…”
They both sort of flushed at this point and looked away from one another. Jemaine looked down and it caused his glasses to slip a bit. He pushed them up, mumbling, “Um, maybe tonight’s not the night then.”
Bret let out a dramatic sigh and rolled over on his back to stare at the ceiling, “If not tonight, when? ...been trying to do this forever.”
“It’s not…that important. Let’s just play ‘Battleship’ or something.”
“No, no, we played ‘Battleship’ last time. Can’t keep chickening out.”
“…it’ll happen when it…happens.”
“And when’s that?”
“You’ve got to learn to be patient, Bret.”
Bret rolled over on to his side again so he could look at Jemaine once more. Jemaine’s knees had started aching from being hunched down so long. He now sat firmly on the floor, his back up against his bed.
“Jemaine,” Bret licked his lips and picked at the edges of his pillow, “D’you…not want to?”
“Not want to what?”
“Not want to…do it?”
Jemaine snorted, “’Course I want to do it. I want to do it all the time. Doesn’t everybody?”
“No, I mean,” Bret looked intently at his pillow now as he continued to fiddle with it, “Do you…not want to do it…with me?”
Jemaine leaned back and frowned, “Don’t know what you mean.”
“I mean, maybe…maybe you don’t want to do it with me. I mean, you know,” Bret whispered the last part, “Sex.”
“Bret, don’t be absurd. I want to,” Jemaine let out a heavy breath and ran a hand through his hair as he avoided some words, “with you, but, I mean…you know it’s-it’s difficult.”
“I know.”
“It’s different. With men. I mean, with women…I know what I’m doing. I know how man-lady sex works but not…man-man. I’ve…heard about…some of it…but that doesn’t mean, I just…wouldn’t know what to do.”
“Yeah.”
“And…I want it to be good. When we-”
Bret sighed and looked at Jemaine, a tiny smile on his face, “It will be.”
Jemaine rolled his head about his shoulders, “Yeah, except…it might not be. I mean, if - if it’s not good then I’m worried you’ll…”
“I’ll what?”
“I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
“I don’t…if you…left me…”
“We talked about this a million times, wouldn’t happen.”
“But…if the sex is no good-”
“Still wouldn’t happen. The sex wasn’t any good with Lisa and I would have stayed with her if she had wanted to.”
Jemaine scowled, “Oh, that’s reassuring.”
Bret rolled out of the bed and onto the floor. He edged over to Jemaine and gave him a quick kiss, “I love you, Jemaine. Even if the sex was awful, I would stay with you.”
“It wouldn’t be awful,” Jemaine bristled, “I mean, I’m awesome at kissing and, um, man-lady sex so, wouldn’t be awful…just, it might not be good. But better than awful.”
“Nevertheless.”
“And, um, how long?”
“How long what?”
“How…long do you plan on staying with me.”
Bret smiled, blushing a little, “Oh. Well. How long do you - you want me to stay?”
“Um…is…does forever make you uncomfortable?”
“Sounds a bit long.”
“Nn - yeah.”
“Sounds perfect.”
“I think so too,” Jemaine tossed out quickly; relieved, as he had thought ‘forever’ was a perfectly acceptable amount of time for them to be together. It was now his turn to give Bret a kiss.
This kiss, however, turned into a series and for a long while, they simply kissed. Once they finally did pull away, Bret suggested they turn off the violin music and watch television and Jemaine agreed it was a good idea. They contented themselves with snuggling on the couch for that night.
ii. second shot
It was a random day and they were both bored. There was nothing better to do, so they thought they would try again.
Jemaine had been reading some books on the subject, though usually he only got about two pages in and gave up - he just couldn’t bring himself to go further. The books were just so long. He had tried to look at some of the pictures, but they just made him chuckle nervously and go red faced.
Bret also had tried to do some research, this supplied by Dave, who, in his opinion, had graciously gone out of his way to get his hands on some, what he called, ‘visual aids’. Unable to quench his curiosity, Dave had even volunteered to watch them with Bret.
In the end, it had result in them sitting together awkwardly in Dave’s room next to each other, Dave, with a bowl of popcorn, pointing at the screen and laughing hysterically while Bret tried to simultaneously cover his ears and his eyes.
Dave just kept nudging him and saying things like, “Man, you gotta see this! Seriously! It’s crazy! I thought I’d be more weirded out by this but…actually, it’s kinda fun. I mean, look at this guy go to work on this other guy…I mean, damn…he’s pounding away…”
“Could you turn it off, please, Dave.”
“Aww, come on, man. It’s not that bad! Seriously, thought this shit would be much worse. ‘Sides, you gotta watch this, right? Good for you to learn how it works. And, hey, have you and Jemaine worked out who’s the top and who’s the bottom? ‘Cause that shit’s pretty important…”
“Turn it off, please.”
Dave eventually had done as Bret had requested and it had taken some time for Bret to fully recover. In fact, Bret was now genuinely questioning whether or not he really wanted to do this. Maybe he and Jemaine could just stick to kissing. The kissing was really good.
But once the images were gone and the boredom set in, it just seemed like a good time to try. They stood in the bedroom, not touching one another and certainly not looking at one another. Jemaine was rubbing at his arms and looking at his bed, then at Bret’s, “So…which one should we use?”
“Pardon?”
“Which - which bed should we…you know…”
“Oh, uh, well…yours?”
“I just washed the sheets.”
“We could try mine, but do you think we’d both fit?”
“Our beds are about the same size.”
“Yeah…but…there’ll be,” Bret shuffled his feet as he looked at them, voice quiet, “movement.”
“We,” Jemaine scratched behind his ear, “We could push the beds together. Make one big bed.”
Bret’s head rose and he nodded, “Oh, yeah. That’s great idea.”
Jemaine blushed, proud, “Thanks.”
They worked together, rearranging a few things until their beds were pressed next to each other in the small bedroom. They were both a bit out of breath and a little tired, but pleased with their accomplishment.
Bret spoke first as he sat on the end of their joined beds, “So…now what?”
Jemaine made a confused noise as he sat next to Bret.
“I mean…how do we…start?”
“Oh, um, well. Dunno.”
“Are you…I mean, are we going to do it?”
“Oh yeah,” Jemaine said, his voice attempting to be convincing, “Yeah, we’re going to do it all right. You’ll see.”
“Ok.”
Neither of them moved again, just sitting next to each other. Jemaine took in a deep breath, wondering why this was so difficult when suddenly Bret turned and kissed the side of his face. Wonderingly, Jemaine turned to him and Bret found his mouth with his own.
Jemaine let out a contented sigh and raised his hands up to cup Bret’s face, eventually moving them to entangle in his hair. Bret’s hands went to Jemaine’s shirt and bunched in the material there, tugging insistently at it. Jemaine felt his whole body heat up and he drew away.
He grabbed the bottom hem of his shirt and, seeing Bret looking at him intently, suddenly felt self-conscious, “Um…you’re looking at me.”
“Yeah.”
”Watching.”
“So?”
“I’ve, uh, never really gotten undressed in front of you before.”
“Yeah, you have.”
“Yeah, but…you know…not all the way…and, and not before, I mean, not when we’re about to…to do this.”
“Never done this before. That’s the point.”
“Yeah, I know, look, could you, um, not look at me while I do this?”
“I could…do it for you. Undress you, I mean. If you like.”
“Really?”
Bret looked at Jemaine and thought about undressing him and all he could envision was somehow doing something wrong, like breaking his zip or tearing his shirt and now he was the self-conscious one, “Oh, uh, maybe, maybe you should do it.”
“Can’t do it with you watching.”
“How…how about you undress and while you do that I undress and then - then we’re both-”
“Yeah, ok.”
Bret turned away from Jemaine, going to the right side of the bed. Jemaine went to the left and both of them, not facing the other, began to disrobe. Once Jemaine was naked, he quickly got under the covers and closed his eyes tight. He felt Bret get in the bed next to him.
Again they were not touching each other. They both lay on their backs, in rigid straight lines, blankets drawn up to their chins.
“Bret.”
“Jemaine.”
“Are…are you-?”
“Yeah. You?”
“Yes.”
“Oh. Right then.”
“You, um, you going to start?”
“…maybe you should go first.”
“My eyes are closed.”
“Hey, mine too!”
“Really?”
“Yeah, promised I wouldn’t look so, didn’t want to see anything-”
“You didn’t promise.”
“Huh. Thought I did.”
“Nope.”
A silence settled in as they both lay there, eyes closed. Initially their eyes had been screwed shut, bodies tensed for the next part, but as they waited, they relaxed considerably. Bret’s mind wandered from the task at hand.
“Jemaine-”
“Yes, Bret.”
“What do you like better, pirates or ninjas?”
“That’s a good question,” Jemaine thought hard about it, “Ninjas, I think.”
“Really?”
“Hmm, yeah, yeah. Yes.”
“I like pirates better; they’ve got eye patches and wooden appendages.”
“But ninjas, they’ve got throwing stars and swords.”
“Pirates have swords too.”
“True, but…”
They ended up discussing this for quite a while, both lying there, eyes still closed, and eventually they got to the point where their words tapered off and they were both fast asleep.
Jemaine woke first. When he rolled over and saw Bret, he tensed.
Had they-?
He licked his lips and, as quietly and discreetly as possible, lifted the blankets and looked beneath. Hmm. Nothing seemed different. He tried to remember what had happened before he fell asleep. Last he could remember, he had been arguing with Bret about how the Abominable Snowman was much more realistic than Bigfoot.
And he had felt so warm and cozy and…
Ok. He didn’t think they had done it.
But…they were naked.
Jemaine couldn’t help it. He stole a glimpse at Bret’s body quickly. Too quickly, actually, as he didn’t remember what he saw past a long flash of pale skin. He looked a second time, keeping his eyes trained down there a bit longer.
Wow.
Wow. Wow.
Just…wow.
Jemaine looked at Bret’s naked body, his chest and his stomach and, oh, yes, hello. Bret’s…and…Jemaine couldn’t look away. He stared, transfixed. Everything was…so surreal. And it was like his own, but different and…he kind of wanted to touch him. Except, not even a kind of, as much as a yes, he definitely wanted to touch him.
Jemaine felt like he was outside of his body in a way, like he was watching himself watching. And, honestly, he was dealing with this much better than he thought he would have. He had worried that when he did finally see Bret naked he would run away or something ridiculous like that. But instead he found himself fascinated and wondering, if he touched Bret there and there and, maybe there, would he like it and how could he go about getting Bret to that moment when he would-
And that’s when Bret’s entire body moved. Then he heard Bret take in a deep breath, “Jemaine!”
Jemaine drew back quickly and dropped the blanket, “I didn’t do anything!”
“Jemaine, what-”
“I-I was just-just looking-”
Bret shifted again and the bed shook. They both gasped, gripping to their mattress as their two joined beds started moving away from one another, a gap forming between them.
“Oh. Great. Guess pushing the beds together wasn’t such a good idea.”
“Huh. Yeah. Good thing we didn’t - you know - get started. Could have ended up falling to the floor.”
Bret nodded in agreement, “That would have hurt.”
“Yeah.”
“So…did we?”
“No.”
“Flip.”
“…maybe tonight’s not the night then.”
Bret sighed, “Yeah, looks like it.”
Jemaine was about to open his mouth when Bret stopped him, “I’m not playing Battleship again.”
Jemaine let out a noise of disappointment, and then asked, “Want to go out?”
“Where to?”
“Dunno. Just figured, I mean, we could go for a walk. Weather’s been nice.”
“…yeah. Ok.”
“Want to get dressed first?”
“Yeah, ok. Close your eyes though.”
“What? Why? I just saw it all.”
“You’re right. You go first. And I’ll watch.”
Jemaine groaned. Great, him and his big mouth.
ii ½. fractional tries
“Well maybe it’d happen if you didn’t giggle like a girl each time I try to, you know….” Jemaine griped.
Bret couldn’t help but laugh a little, “I can’t help it! It’s just, you know, it’s you.”
“Oh. Thanks.”
“No, no I mean…it’s just…you make the funniest face!”
“I do not!”
“You do too!”
“Ok, what does it look like then?”
Bret raised one eyebrow and rotated his head about his shoulders a bit, the look an over exaggerated attempt at sexy. Jemaine scoffed, “I don’t do that!”
“You do! You look just like that! It’s hilarious.”
“At least I’m not noisy.”
“I’m not - I don’t make noise.” Bret pouted.
“Please. Every time I touch you a bit it’s all these loud pants and whimpers. I’m starting to think that if I ever do get to touch anything important, you won’t last long.”
“Won’t last…are you implying I…that’d I’d-”
“I get the feeling when it does happen it’s going to be over before it begins.”
“I’m not…not a short fuse. Maybe you are, but I’m not-”
“I most definitely am not. I’m like…an Olympian in my…stamina.”
“Well, considering the luck we’ve been having in regard to,” Bret shook his head, “I guess I’ll never know.”
“Oh you will,” Jemaine said determinedly, “You’ll know…just maybe,” They both said “tonight’s not the night” in unison and Bret finished it off with a frustrated, “Yeah. Yeah.”
iii. third time’s the charm
Eventually it just ended up happening sort of by accident. It was cold and rainy and very late at night. Nothing about the day had been very special or noteworthy and both Bret and Jemaine had gone to bed early because of it.
Bret awoke with a gasp. He had just had a terrible nightmare. He couldn’t remember any of the specific details save that something had been chasing him. His pulse was racing and he felt on edge.
“J-Jemaine?”
Jemaine didn’t answer. Bret sat up and, wrapping his blanket tighter around himself, rose to his feet. He hissed at the feeling of the cold floor on his bare feet but trudged onward, moving over to Jemaine’s side of the room.
Jemaine was snoring, his whole body rolled over close to the wall. Bret always felt safer when he was with Jemaine, so he climbed in bed next to him and let out a pleased sigh. He was surprised but delighted, to find they both fit in the bed, it was a bit snug, but over all rather comfy.
Jemaine’s body was emanating heat and it felt nice, cozy, so Bret angled himself to one side and spooned him, thinking that, really, it was only fair. And at least Bret wasn’t putting a wig on him.
In only a matter of minutes, Bret felt his body relaxing, the remnants of the nightmare slipping away from him. As a thank you, Bret kissed Jemaine’s shoulder. Jemaine’s snoring cut off and he let out a little grunt. Bret smiled and shifted about until his mouth was level with the nape of Jemaine’s neck.
He pressed his lips there in another friendly kiss and again Jemaine grunted, but this grunt was more questioning. Jemaine’s eyes opened and he blinked sleepily. He could feel a form behind him and it took him a few moments to collect himself, “Bret? ‘Zat you?”
“Yes.”
“What’re you doing?”
“Had a nightmare. I was scared. Hope you don’t mind, got into bed with you.”
“…hmnn…don’t mind.”
“Thanks.” Bret kissed at Jemaine’s neck again and Jemaine took in a deep breath, “That feels good.”
“Does it?” Bret asked wonderingly.
“Mmmhmm.”
Bret grinned, happy to do something Jemaine enjoyed, and planted another kiss there. But this time, his mouth opened a little, making the kiss wetter and Jemaine’s breath caught.
Bret didn’t know why, but the sound of it caused a tingling of excitement in his belly. His tongue edged out and licked at Jemaine’s hairline. Jemaine felt goose bumps break out on his skin and he rolled over so he could face Bret.
The room was dark, but some light from outside reflected in, tinting everything in a sort of shadowy blue. He could make out Bret enough and he eyed Bret’s blankets. “Why d’you have those?”
Bret shrugged, “Dunno. Couldn’t…the way you were laying, I couldn’t get under your covers.”
“…you can now.”
“Oh…okay,” Bret breathed and he untangled himself from his own blankets and climbed beneath Jemaine’s. Somehow the bed seemed to get even smaller and Bret could feel the outline of Jemaine’s body close to his.
Bret swallowed and licked his lips, “Y-Yes…this…this is…better.”
They lay there, facing each other in silence and Bret couldn’t tell if Jemaine’s eyes were opened or closed but he knew Jemaine was close, he could feel the heat of his body and it made Bret feel…well, the best way he could think to describe it was tense, but in a really good way.
“Bret…are you still scared?”
“No...why?”
“I can feel….you’re sort of shaking.”
“No, I’m not.”
“You are, I can feel your side of the bed sort of…quivering. If you’re still scared I could…maybe…let me hold you?” Jemaine’s arms opened before he even managed to ask it and Bret licked his lips and found himself edging into his embrace without even a second thought.
Their bodies were touching now, pressed to each other, and Bret’s forehead was touching Jemaine’s chin, their legs intertwined. Jemaine was running his fingers through Bret’s hair and along his back and making these odd sounds in his chest that Bret assumed were supposed to be reassuring, but were making him feel uncomfortable. Not because they were bad sounds per say, but because they were so near and he could feel Jemaine’s chest.
“Bret, are you sure you’re okay? You’re still…trembling.”
“No. No, I’m fine,” Bret breathed, trying mentally to calm the beat of his heart. He couldn’t stop his trembling and he didn’t really know how to tell Jemaine why, because he was, well, Jemaine, and how do you explain these things in words to someone who knows you so well?
He just couldn’t stop this rush in his blood, this nervous excitement. All his thoughts kept tripping over themselves, tumbling over the fact that they were in bed. They were in bed together. In bed, in bed, in bed…
And he could feel Jemaine. All of him. Jemaine’s whole body, so broad and warm, the solid line of it making Bret’s bones dissolve. Bret took in a deep breath and he felt so wide awake he wasn’t sure if he would ever be able to sleep again. He shifted a bit until he was face to face with Jemaine, their foreheads touched against one another for a moment and then Jemaine let out his own unsteady breath.
“You sure you’re…okay, Bret?”
“Y-yes.”
“Bret…”
Bret made a questioning sound because he found speaking difficult.
“Can I…I want to kiss you.”
Bret nodded, then, not sure if the action could be seen and thus understood, managed to whisper, “Okay.”
Jemaine’s mouth easily found Bret’s in the dark and it was strange (they had had so many kisses that started off awkward and wrong) that this one kiss should slip through the cracks and be flawless.
The kiss was soft, slow, but somehow the impact of it shook Bret from the top of his head to the soles of his feet. He could feel the glide of Jemaine’s tongue against his own and then against the roof of his mouth and if Bret’s eyes had been open he was sure they would have rolled into the back of his head.
Jemaine’s hands were still roaming through his hair and along his back but then they found the hem of his night shirt and slid up under, touching bare hot flesh and Bret broke the kiss to moan because he couldn’t help but moan.
Bret was still shaking and he wasn’t sure if it had gotten better or worse, but breaking the kiss allowed Jemaine’s mouth to go to new, more fascinating places, as he started to feast on the expanse of Bret’s neck, kissing and licking. Jemaine started to suck hard at the juncture where Bret’s neck met his shoulder, and it was right on the edge of pain and pleasure.
Bret mewled at the feeling, his arching body causing their hips to meet, making them groan as they both felt the obvious arousal of the other. Jemaine released the spot he’d been working on and then brushed it with his tongue by way of an apology, even though in the back of his mind, he hoped it had left a mark.
Jemaine then kissed his way up, his mouth on Bret’s jaw line, his cheek, and finally on his ear, his tongue outlining the shell before his lips clamped gently over the lobe.
Bret gasped; he had never told Jemaine how sensitive his ears were but now…Bret was embarrassed because he kept making these keening noises and maybe Jemaine was right, maybe he is noisy. But Jemaine’s mouth sucked a little harder and then, oh god his teeth, and Bret’s fingertips dug into Jemaine as his body moved again, instinctively thrusting against him.
Jemaine growled throatily and his mouth left Bret’s ear as he shrugged the blankets off of them and rolled Bret beneath him, his hands going farther up under his shirt to roam, finding hard nipples that his thumbs caressed until Bret cried out again in that desperate note that was making him too hot to think straight.
Jemaine struggled with Bret’s shirt momentarily until Bret helped with it and they both tossed it far away. Once it was gone, Jemaine returned his kisses to Bret’s neck, then his collarbone, dropping soft kisses along the skin there, tracing the line of the bone toward the point of Bret’s shoulder.
Bret touched Jemaine’s head, loving the texture of his soft hair between his fingers, his free hand tracing the curve of Jemaine’s back and shoulder. Jemaine turned blindly to mouth a kiss into his palm before trailing down to Bret’s chest, his lips hovering over one of his nipples, his breath brushing over it. His mouth settled there, his tongue flicking over it gently and Bret cried out, unprepared for the hot sweetness of Jemaine’s wet tongue.
Jemaine’s hands rubbed up and down Bret’s sides, squeezing now and then. He wished vainly that he could see Bret better, that it was lighter, but in a way the dark of the night seemed fitting. It had started this way - in the warm dark with a kiss and now, well, it wasn’t going to end this way but it was certainly going to go to the next level.
Not to mention that, for some reason, not being able to see clearly was a comfort. He felt less…stressed. The pressure of wondering whether he was doing well or not seemed to be taken out of the equation somehow and Bret’s sounds…
Christ, the sounds Bret was making…hell, if Jemaine could see his face along with those sounds, he probably wouldn’t be able to contain himself. Jemaine nibbled his way across Bret’s chest to his other nipple paying some attention there before moving down Bret’s stomach and he could feel it hitch beneath him a bit. Jemaine’s tongue dipped into his navel and Bret couldn’t stop a nervous giggle from bubbling out of him. Jemaine smiled against his skin.
And Bret said he wasn’t ticklish.
Jemaine shook his head a little at the thought, then drew back, resting on his knees as he took hold of Bret’s pajama bottoms just as Bret took hold of his shirt. Jemaine had completely forgotten he was wearing clothes and once he was aware of them he realized it was stifling, the back of his shirt sticking to him. He quickly shrugged Bret’s hands off and peeled off his own shirt before returning to Bret’s bottoms and underwear, which Bret helped him remove.
Once again Jemaine felt a little disappointed there was not enough light to see, as he couldn’t see Bret fully naked now, laid out before him. But then, he had seen him naked earlier and it wasn’t an image easily unremembered. He recalled how amazing he had looked. Bret probably looked even more amazing now (if that was possible) in his current state of arousal. But then, with that thought in mind, Jemaine was thankful again for the dark as he was certain that if he saw Bret’s erection, he would feel self-conscious and awkward.
In fact, he still felt a tad inept, as he wasn’t sure what to do now. How should he start this? He almost voiced aloud how weird it was but instead licked his lips and reached out a shaking hand, stirring up all his courage. The back of his hand brushed something hard that felt like velvet and a little wet and he groaned as his body throbbed in response to it.
He managed to take a hold of Bret’s length and Bret sobbed his name. Jemaine shifted because he felt if he didn’t the pressure that was building up in his own body would explode, especially after the way Bret had so ardently said his name. Jemaine’s breath was ragged as he moved his hand experimentally, stroking up and down.
Bret made a choked noise in his throat and bucked into his hand and Jemaine could hear himself telling him ‘easy, easy’ but it didn’t sound like his voice because it was so deep and broken. Jemaine’s thumb brushed the tip, finding the wetness welling up there and spread it a little before his whole hand drew away much to Bret’s disappointment.
But Jemaine’s curiosity was strong and before he could think much about it, his thumb was in his mouth and he was licking it clean, tasting Bret. It was salty and not terribly pleasant but…inexplicably, he wanted more.
He leaned over, closer to Bret’s body and he could feel the heat rising off of him. His hand took hold of Bret’s length again and then he took a deep breath, steadying his racing pulse as he gave the head a tentative lick.
Bret jumped a little and was now questioing his sanity. Jemaine had already done so many extraordinary things that he wasn’t sure how much more he could take. And now Jemaine was…was he really going to…and oh god, Bret wanted him to.
He began muttering soft words, in what he hoped was a coaxing tone. Most of it came out jumbled, “Jemaine…please…um…fuck…your…want…mouth…take me…”
Jemaine could barely understand Bret’s hushed words over the blood rushing in his ears but the fact that Bret actually cursed was gratifying. So, heartened, he went back with more enthusiasm.
He licked at the head again before laving his tongue along the underside, his hand squeezing what his mouth hadn’t dared yet touch. Finally, drawing in another breath, he went for it and took as much of Bret’s length into his mouth as he could. His head moved slowly, down and up and then back again. It required more coordination than he had expected and his knees began to ache, but the passionate response from Bret urged him on, warmth pooling in his stomach.
And Bret, Bret was lost. Completely lost. Jemaine’s mouth was around him, warm, wet, and perfect and he felt like his skin was on fire, body drawn tight and his hands were unconsiously guiding Jemaine’s head. Bret felt close, so close and he desperately wanted to come, but not like this, not yet. Not without Jemaine.
He tugged hard at Jemaine’s hair and Jemaine’s mouth released him as he muttered an ‘ouch’. Bret made an apologetic noise, moving his hands to Jemaine’s shoulders and pulling, trying to motion for him to move up to him. Jemaine understood and their lips met again in a feverish kiss.
Bret’s body moved up against Jemaine’s, making the other man groan, his head dropping onto Bret’s neck as he responded with a thrust of his own, Jemaine’s neglected erection rubbing against Bret’s naked one.
“Together,” Bret breathed, his hands dancing up and down Jemaine’s back, then resting on the waistband of Jemaine’s briefs which he jerked at urgently. Jemaine hummed an affirmative and swiftly removed them before lurching to one side. Bret didn’t know what he was doing (it was too hard to tell) but he seemed to be reaching under the bed.
Jemaine righted himself and Bret heard something that sounded like a bottle cap popping open and then there was something cool and slick between them and he gasped at the feeling. Jemaine’s hand was between them, spreading it along Bret’s hardness and then his own and then his hand wrapped around both of them and began moving.
Bret stopped breathing as he surged up into Jemaine’s grip. It was tight and perfect and their breaths intermingled as they groaned, mouths open and gasping near each other. Jemaine’s mouth covered Bret’s, his tongue slipping in and Bret sucked on it greedily.
The kiss was savage but wonderful and Jemaine released them both because he couldn’t concentrated enough to keep stroking and instead he grabbed Bret’s hips and started thrusting against him blindly, the slickness between them enough, the heat and softness enough and this is Bret, it’s Bret he’s with, Bret’s he’s moving against…
And it’s too much, too much and he’s so close and…
Jemaine growled Bret’s name as he climaxed roughly, spilling hotly between them, bursts of light flashing before his eyes, his fingers digging in hard enough to bruise. Bret was only a few seconds after, crying out sharply as he came hard. He felt as if he would break in half. It was so good, too good…
Jemaine collapsed on top of Bret and he could swear he heard both of their hearts drumming out a crazy beat together. Jemaine slowly rolled off of Bret to one side and they both lay there, staring up sightlessly at the dark ceiling.
Bret ran a hand through his hair as he caught a much needed breath, “Whoa…that was-”
“Yeah.”
Bret swallowed, still breathless and he could feel the sweat on his body drying a little as a thought occurred to him.
“Hey Jemaine…”
“Hrm?”
“I think…I think we just had sex.”
“Did we?” Jemaine thought about this only a minute, then nodded resolutely, “Oh yeah. Yes. We did, didn’t we?”
“I mean I know I…um…you know…did-did you-”
“Yes, most definitely.”
“Oh. Good. Good.”
Jemaine looked over to Bret and he could kind of make him out in the dark, he licked his lips, nervous, “Did you like…I mean was it…good?”
“Yes.”
“I thought so too.” Jemaine said quickly, pleased that they both had enjoyed it.
“We should probably get cleaned up…take a shower…”
Jemaine yawned and rolled to one side, throwing an arm over Bret possessively, drawing him close as he mummbled sleepy gibberish. Bret frowned, “Jemaine? Did…did you hear me?”
“Mm…’m a bit sleepay…”
Bret shook his head a little. Why did sex make everyone tired except for him? He felt so...energized. But Jemaine was snuggling him close and Bret had to admit he did feel sort of winded, like he had just run up a great hill and slid down to the bottom. In fact, he still felt a bit like he was sliding, his head dizzy and Jemaine’s arm felt so snug around him.
Bret sighed and closed his eyes, falling into a deep sleep tucked into Jemaine’s side.
Unnumbered ending
The morning after held as few words as the actual event had, as both Bret and Jemaine couldn’t meet each other’s eyes without smiling madly, the occasional shy laughter bubbling out.
When they did finally manage to speak normally, it was out in front of Dave’s Pawn Shop. Dave had been on the phone when they had arrived and had only acknowledged them with an impatient wave of his hand.
They had purchased two cups of tea and some biscuits earlier, so they sat outside at the tiny round table and ate their food rather ravenously. Jemaine was the first one to speak, remarking dryly, “I’m…always hungry. You know…after.”
“It’s,” Bret’s eyebrows drew together as he thought more seriously about what Jemaine had just said, “It’s…not…right after. That…that would have been last night.”
“Oh. The…day after then. I’m always hungry the day after…you know.”
“Yeah. Me too, I guess.” Bret said as he took another big bite of his biscuit. He looked over at Jemaine and finally managed to keep his eyes there, though his face felt hot. He chewed contemplatively as he looked at Jemaine and all he could think of was last night - the dark and the heat and Jemaine’s mouth on him.
Bret worried he would choke when Jemaine turned and looked at him, face so serious. Had he looked that serious when he had-?
Jemaine spoke softly, “Um…so…how do you…feel?”
Bret made a questioning sound and Jemaine scratched at the back of his head, shrugging a little as he confessed, “I feel…good today. Like, animated.”
“Animated?”
“Yes.”
“Like a cartoon?”
“No, I mean, I feel…you know…alive.”
“You are alive.”
“No, I mean,” Jemaine sighed, irritated, “I feel…last night made me feel good…today.”
What Jemaine was saying finally clicked in Bret’s mind and he giggled a little, “Oh! Oh…I-I see.”
“And…and you?” Jemaine asked, licking his lips, “How…how do you feel today?”
“Me?” Bret squeaked and he really wished he hadn’t, because it was embarrassing, so he coughed and spoke again, “Me…I feel flippin’ awesome.”
“Do you?” Jemaine asked eagerly, as he sat up a bit straighter.
“Yes. I feel really, really awesome today, like…like I could do anything.”
“That’s good.” Jemaine breathed and he looked terribly proud, “Good, good, good…”
Another thought occurred to Bret and he leaned forward a bit, “Do I…do I look different?”
“Hmm?”
“After…what we did…do I look different? Do I look like I…like we-?”
Jemaine sucked in his breath with a hiss, “Ahhh, yes, I see. Um. No.”
“No?”
“No, no…you look exactly the same to me.”
“Oh. That’s good.”
“What about me?”
“Huh?”
“Do I look different?”
“No,” Bret said, smiling and he saw Jemaine’s hand resting on the table so he reached out and took it in his own, “You look like Jemaine.”
“I do?”
“Yes….like my Jemaine.” Bret squeezed his hand and Jemaine smiled warmly.
“There you two are!”
Bret and Jemaine’s hands broke apart as Murray walked over, his face all smiles, “I’m glad I caught you! Hoped you might be out here! I have some news that will-” Murray stopped, his gaze on Jemaine and he frowned, “Jemaine…why are you…why do you look like that?”
“Look like what?” Jemaine asked defensively, his heart skipping a beat.
“You look sort of…you’re glowing.”
“No, I’m not!”
“Yes, you are!”
“No, no.”
“You are, you are,” Murray looked at Bret and his eyes narrowed, “In fact…Bret, you look like Jemaine…sort of… phosphorescent.”
Bret shook his head rapidly, “Mm, no. No I don’t, Murray.”
“You do, both of you! You’re both glowing! It’s…blinding. I feel like lights are coming off both of you! All bright and…blinding. Radiant. Did you use some new shampoo? Or maybe-”
Dave popped his head out of the shop, phone still in his hand, “Hey guys, sorry I couldn’t say ‘hi’ before, this assface had me on the phone and was asking about…why are you two glowing?”
“We’re not glowing!” Bret and Jemaine said in adamant unison.
“See! That’s what I said! If Dave can see it then…you know…any passerby can! You both should be careful! That kind of…reflectivity…could cause an accident! Though, you know, it might be good for the band, if people can’t stop looking at you-”
Dave’s eyes widened and he pointed at them, “Holy shit! You did it! You fucking English fairies finally did it!”
Bret and Jemaine both looked uncomfortable, not meeting each other’s eyes again or that of Dave’s gloating glare or Murray’s look of utter confusion.
“Did what? What did they do?” Murray asked, then clicked his tongue and rocked on his heels, “Oh! I see, I see! Bret, Jemaine! I warned you both, didn’t I? About girlfriends and the band…still…I guess there are two lucky ladies out and about today, isn’t there?”
“You could say that,” Dave said with a chuckle and when Murray looked at him, face clouded with bewilderment, Dave’s chuckles grew worse, “Shit, you don’t know do you?! He doesn’t know! Oh god…it’s priceless!”
“Don’t know what?” Murray sputtered.
“Congratulations, you guys. Seriously. No details about it. Ever. Please. But…congratulations. He doesn’t know! Classic!” Dave went back into the shop, overcome with laughter and shaking his head, waving all of them off.
Murray looked desperately at Bret and Jemaine who continued to fastidiously avoid looking at him.
“Do either one of you want to tell me what that was all about?”
“’S’nothing, Murray.”
“Doesn’t seem to be.”
“Um, Murray…maybe we should…save this for…for a band meeting or something?” Bret suggested, hoping that, at least for now, they could get out of this conversation.
“I agree. Maybe you could…make a note of it?” Jemaine encouraged.
Murray frowned, rubbing at his chin, “Suppose I could. That’s why I was looking for you two turkeys. Wanted to make sure you didn’t forget today’s band meeting. Got some exciting news-”
“Is it a gig?”
“Maybe, but you’ll have to wait for the band meeting, won’t you Jemaine? Just like I’ll have to apparently,” Murray took a small spiral notebook out of his pants pocket as well as a pen and was about to scribble something when he asked, “Is this…is this about why you two have been so…gay, recently?”
Both Jemaine and Bret looked so startled that one would have expected a gun had gone off. Jemaine managed speech first, “What?!”
“You know, ever since we got back from New Zealand you both have been so gay.”
“So…”
“Gay? You know, happy?”
“H-happy?” Jemaine stammered.
“Yes!” Murray said in frustration, “Gay, happy, chipper…the both of you! Then again, glowing today…must go hand in hand with it, right? I’ll just make my note here for the band meeting,” Murray started scribbling in the notebook, saying aloud what he was writing, “Item…three…Bret…Jemaine…gay…why…question mark…”
Murray closed the notebook and regarded both of them with raised eyebrows, “I’ll see you two later then, shall I? We can discuss the other two items as well as this…new one.”
Both Bret and Jemaine managed agreeable sounds that sent Murray off and on his way. Bret was the first to speak, “Well that was…different.”
“I’m not looking forward to our band meeting now.”
“What about the exciting news?”
“I’m looking forward to that, but not-”
“Maybe he’ll forget.”
“Unlikely, he wrote it down in his notebook.” Jemaine shrugged then and sipped his tea, “He’ll come around to the idea.”
“You think?”
“Mm - long as he can think of a way to market it, I’m sure he will.”
“I hope…he doesn’t want us to wear costumes or something.”
“If he does, I’m not doing it,” Jemaine muttered, then looked at Bret with sudden interest, a sparkle in his eyes, “So, um…we have…some time.”
“Some time?”
“Before the band meeting.”
“We do?”
Jemaine nodded, his voice rushed, “And…we don’t have much else planned past this so…maybe…I mean…if you want to. Again, maybe?”
“Again?” Bret repeated then it sank in and he felt himself flush. “Oh. OH! That…again.”
“Yes,” Jemaine said his voice unmistakably lustful. He definitely was no longer having trouble looking at him, his eyes burning Bret’s body with an appraising glance. Bret swallowed and he felt…tense again. He rose to his feet, “Yes. Ok. We…we should hurry, I think…”
“Can’t wait?”
“No,” Bret breathed.
“Me either.” Jemaine said as he got to his feet. He took Bret’s hand in his, giving him a quick kiss as they hurried home.
Pairing(s) in the story: Jemaine/Bret (Flight of the Conchords)
Author Name/Pen Name: she_burns1
Beta: lordstarfish
Disclaimer: I do not own Flight of the Conchords, or Hbo, or Bret, or Jemaine…though I will glad take donations of Bret/Jemaine!
Rating of story: NC17
Word Count: 7,304 (It's a bit long)
Warnings: Smut, smut, oh yes and a lovely side of smut.
Brief summary: Bret and Jemaine try to consumate their relationship.
Notes: It’s been a loooong road - but this is it! The close out to my long standing series of stories - and it’s the part everyone’s really been waiting for - I finally give you the sexy stuff. Hope it’s good!!
i. first try
When Jemaine came home from the grocery, his arms full of brown paper bags, he distinctly heard the sound of violins and stiffened.
Oh no.
Not again.
He licked his lips and put down the bags on the kitchen table, his palms suddenly sweaty. He wiped his hands on his jeans and warily looked around. Where was Bret this time?
Jemaine cleared his throat, waiting for his boyfriend (it was still weird, even to think it - not that it wasn’t wonderful but still, weird) to come out of wherever he had hidden himself. Normally by now, Bret strolled out and tried, in the most discreet way possible, to seduce Jemaine, but this time he didn’t seem quick in coming.
Frowning, Jemaine became a bit more emboldened and entered the bedroom only to find Bret on his bed. He was lying on his side, wearing a nice suit, fast asleep. Jemaine’s lips twitched as he walked over and looked down at Bret’s sleeping form.
Bret was snoring softly and cradled in his left hand was a single rose and a new toothbrush. Jemaine sighed and crouched down next to him. He placed a gentle kiss on Bret’s cheek and Bret shifted, letting out a sleepy noise as his eyelashes fluttered against his face.
He slowly opened his eyes and stretched. He blinked a few times and looked at Jemaine, “’M…”
“Hey.”
Bret looked at the light outside and the bed, then smiled sheepishly.
“…fell asleep.”
“So I see.”
Bret took in a deep breath, “I was waiting for you. Took a flippin’ long time.”
“Went by Dave’s. Ran into Mel too.”
“Oh yeah?”
Jemaine nodded.
“How’s she?” Bret mumbled, still a little cloudy.
“Says the Dogggz are ignoring her. Thinkin’ about coming to our show this week.”
“Yeah?”
“Doug misses us too, apparently.”
“Really?”
Jemaine nodded again, then looked at Bret’s left hand, “Those for me?”
Bret’s fingers flexed involuntarily and he felt the stem of the rose and the bristles of the toothbrush. He turned his head slightly until he could see them, then, giving a sad little grin, he held them out, “Yeah.”
Jemaine took them both, “Thanks.”
“Supposed to be more romantic.”
“Yeah?”
“You were gonna come home, nice music, me in the suit; give you the gifts…maybe some dinner, some kissing, then…”
They both sort of flushed at this point and looked away from one another. Jemaine looked down and it caused his glasses to slip a bit. He pushed them up, mumbling, “Um, maybe tonight’s not the night then.”
Bret let out a dramatic sigh and rolled over on his back to stare at the ceiling, “If not tonight, when? ...been trying to do this forever.”
“It’s not…that important. Let’s just play ‘Battleship’ or something.”
“No, no, we played ‘Battleship’ last time. Can’t keep chickening out.”
“…it’ll happen when it…happens.”
“And when’s that?”
“You’ve got to learn to be patient, Bret.”
Bret rolled over on to his side again so he could look at Jemaine once more. Jemaine’s knees had started aching from being hunched down so long. He now sat firmly on the floor, his back up against his bed.
“Jemaine,” Bret licked his lips and picked at the edges of his pillow, “D’you…not want to?”
“Not want to what?”
“Not want to…do it?”
Jemaine snorted, “’Course I want to do it. I want to do it all the time. Doesn’t everybody?”
“No, I mean,” Bret looked intently at his pillow now as he continued to fiddle with it, “Do you…not want to do it…with me?”
Jemaine leaned back and frowned, “Don’t know what you mean.”
“I mean, maybe…maybe you don’t want to do it with me. I mean, you know,” Bret whispered the last part, “Sex.”
“Bret, don’t be absurd. I want to,” Jemaine let out a heavy breath and ran a hand through his hair as he avoided some words, “with you, but, I mean…you know it’s-it’s difficult.”
“I know.”
“It’s different. With men. I mean, with women…I know what I’m doing. I know how man-lady sex works but not…man-man. I’ve…heard about…some of it…but that doesn’t mean, I just…wouldn’t know what to do.”
“Yeah.”
“And…I want it to be good. When we-”
Bret sighed and looked at Jemaine, a tiny smile on his face, “It will be.”
Jemaine rolled his head about his shoulders, “Yeah, except…it might not be. I mean, if - if it’s not good then I’m worried you’ll…”
“I’ll what?”
“I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
“I don’t…if you…left me…”
“We talked about this a million times, wouldn’t happen.”
“But…if the sex is no good-”
“Still wouldn’t happen. The sex wasn’t any good with Lisa and I would have stayed with her if she had wanted to.”
Jemaine scowled, “Oh, that’s reassuring.”
Bret rolled out of the bed and onto the floor. He edged over to Jemaine and gave him a quick kiss, “I love you, Jemaine. Even if the sex was awful, I would stay with you.”
“It wouldn’t be awful,” Jemaine bristled, “I mean, I’m awesome at kissing and, um, man-lady sex so, wouldn’t be awful…just, it might not be good. But better than awful.”
“Nevertheless.”
“And, um, how long?”
“How long what?”
“How…long do you plan on staying with me.”
Bret smiled, blushing a little, “Oh. Well. How long do you - you want me to stay?”
“Um…is…does forever make you uncomfortable?”
“Sounds a bit long.”
“Nn - yeah.”
“Sounds perfect.”
“I think so too,” Jemaine tossed out quickly; relieved, as he had thought ‘forever’ was a perfectly acceptable amount of time for them to be together. It was now his turn to give Bret a kiss.
This kiss, however, turned into a series and for a long while, they simply kissed. Once they finally did pull away, Bret suggested they turn off the violin music and watch television and Jemaine agreed it was a good idea. They contented themselves with snuggling on the couch for that night.
ii. second shot
It was a random day and they were both bored. There was nothing better to do, so they thought they would try again.
Jemaine had been reading some books on the subject, though usually he only got about two pages in and gave up - he just couldn’t bring himself to go further. The books were just so long. He had tried to look at some of the pictures, but they just made him chuckle nervously and go red faced.
Bret also had tried to do some research, this supplied by Dave, who, in his opinion, had graciously gone out of his way to get his hands on some, what he called, ‘visual aids’. Unable to quench his curiosity, Dave had even volunteered to watch them with Bret.
In the end, it had result in them sitting together awkwardly in Dave’s room next to each other, Dave, with a bowl of popcorn, pointing at the screen and laughing hysterically while Bret tried to simultaneously cover his ears and his eyes.
Dave just kept nudging him and saying things like, “Man, you gotta see this! Seriously! It’s crazy! I thought I’d be more weirded out by this but…actually, it’s kinda fun. I mean, look at this guy go to work on this other guy…I mean, damn…he’s pounding away…”
“Could you turn it off, please, Dave.”
“Aww, come on, man. It’s not that bad! Seriously, thought this shit would be much worse. ‘Sides, you gotta watch this, right? Good for you to learn how it works. And, hey, have you and Jemaine worked out who’s the top and who’s the bottom? ‘Cause that shit’s pretty important…”
“Turn it off, please.”
Dave eventually had done as Bret had requested and it had taken some time for Bret to fully recover. In fact, Bret was now genuinely questioning whether or not he really wanted to do this. Maybe he and Jemaine could just stick to kissing. The kissing was really good.
But once the images were gone and the boredom set in, it just seemed like a good time to try. They stood in the bedroom, not touching one another and certainly not looking at one another. Jemaine was rubbing at his arms and looking at his bed, then at Bret’s, “So…which one should we use?”
“Pardon?”
“Which - which bed should we…you know…”
“Oh, uh, well…yours?”
“I just washed the sheets.”
“We could try mine, but do you think we’d both fit?”
“Our beds are about the same size.”
“Yeah…but…there’ll be,” Bret shuffled his feet as he looked at them, voice quiet, “movement.”
“We,” Jemaine scratched behind his ear, “We could push the beds together. Make one big bed.”
Bret’s head rose and he nodded, “Oh, yeah. That’s great idea.”
Jemaine blushed, proud, “Thanks.”
They worked together, rearranging a few things until their beds were pressed next to each other in the small bedroom. They were both a bit out of breath and a little tired, but pleased with their accomplishment.
Bret spoke first as he sat on the end of their joined beds, “So…now what?”
Jemaine made a confused noise as he sat next to Bret.
“I mean…how do we…start?”
“Oh, um, well. Dunno.”
“Are you…I mean, are we going to do it?”
“Oh yeah,” Jemaine said, his voice attempting to be convincing, “Yeah, we’re going to do it all right. You’ll see.”
“Ok.”
Neither of them moved again, just sitting next to each other. Jemaine took in a deep breath, wondering why this was so difficult when suddenly Bret turned and kissed the side of his face. Wonderingly, Jemaine turned to him and Bret found his mouth with his own.
Jemaine let out a contented sigh and raised his hands up to cup Bret’s face, eventually moving them to entangle in his hair. Bret’s hands went to Jemaine’s shirt and bunched in the material there, tugging insistently at it. Jemaine felt his whole body heat up and he drew away.
He grabbed the bottom hem of his shirt and, seeing Bret looking at him intently, suddenly felt self-conscious, “Um…you’re looking at me.”
“Yeah.”
”Watching.”
“So?”
“I’ve, uh, never really gotten undressed in front of you before.”
“Yeah, you have.”
“Yeah, but…you know…not all the way…and, and not before, I mean, not when we’re about to…to do this.”
“Never done this before. That’s the point.”
“Yeah, I know, look, could you, um, not look at me while I do this?”
“I could…do it for you. Undress you, I mean. If you like.”
“Really?”
Bret looked at Jemaine and thought about undressing him and all he could envision was somehow doing something wrong, like breaking his zip or tearing his shirt and now he was the self-conscious one, “Oh, uh, maybe, maybe you should do it.”
“Can’t do it with you watching.”
“How…how about you undress and while you do that I undress and then - then we’re both-”
“Yeah, ok.”
Bret turned away from Jemaine, going to the right side of the bed. Jemaine went to the left and both of them, not facing the other, began to disrobe. Once Jemaine was naked, he quickly got under the covers and closed his eyes tight. He felt Bret get in the bed next to him.
Again they were not touching each other. They both lay on their backs, in rigid straight lines, blankets drawn up to their chins.
“Bret.”
“Jemaine.”
“Are…are you-?”
“Yeah. You?”
“Yes.”
“Oh. Right then.”
“You, um, you going to start?”
“…maybe you should go first.”
“My eyes are closed.”
“Hey, mine too!”
“Really?”
“Yeah, promised I wouldn’t look so, didn’t want to see anything-”
“You didn’t promise.”
“Huh. Thought I did.”
“Nope.”
A silence settled in as they both lay there, eyes closed. Initially their eyes had been screwed shut, bodies tensed for the next part, but as they waited, they relaxed considerably. Bret’s mind wandered from the task at hand.
“Jemaine-”
“Yes, Bret.”
“What do you like better, pirates or ninjas?”
“That’s a good question,” Jemaine thought hard about it, “Ninjas, I think.”
“Really?”
“Hmm, yeah, yeah. Yes.”
“I like pirates better; they’ve got eye patches and wooden appendages.”
“But ninjas, they’ve got throwing stars and swords.”
“Pirates have swords too.”
“True, but…”
They ended up discussing this for quite a while, both lying there, eyes still closed, and eventually they got to the point where their words tapered off and they were both fast asleep.
Jemaine woke first. When he rolled over and saw Bret, he tensed.
Had they-?
He licked his lips and, as quietly and discreetly as possible, lifted the blankets and looked beneath. Hmm. Nothing seemed different. He tried to remember what had happened before he fell asleep. Last he could remember, he had been arguing with Bret about how the Abominable Snowman was much more realistic than Bigfoot.
And he had felt so warm and cozy and…
Ok. He didn’t think they had done it.
But…they were naked.
Jemaine couldn’t help it. He stole a glimpse at Bret’s body quickly. Too quickly, actually, as he didn’t remember what he saw past a long flash of pale skin. He looked a second time, keeping his eyes trained down there a bit longer.
Wow.
Wow. Wow.
Just…wow.
Jemaine looked at Bret’s naked body, his chest and his stomach and, oh, yes, hello. Bret’s…and…Jemaine couldn’t look away. He stared, transfixed. Everything was…so surreal. And it was like his own, but different and…he kind of wanted to touch him. Except, not even a kind of, as much as a yes, he definitely wanted to touch him.
Jemaine felt like he was outside of his body in a way, like he was watching himself watching. And, honestly, he was dealing with this much better than he thought he would have. He had worried that when he did finally see Bret naked he would run away or something ridiculous like that. But instead he found himself fascinated and wondering, if he touched Bret there and there and, maybe there, would he like it and how could he go about getting Bret to that moment when he would-
And that’s when Bret’s entire body moved. Then he heard Bret take in a deep breath, “Jemaine!”
Jemaine drew back quickly and dropped the blanket, “I didn’t do anything!”
“Jemaine, what-”
“I-I was just-just looking-”
Bret shifted again and the bed shook. They both gasped, gripping to their mattress as their two joined beds started moving away from one another, a gap forming between them.
“Oh. Great. Guess pushing the beds together wasn’t such a good idea.”
“Huh. Yeah. Good thing we didn’t - you know - get started. Could have ended up falling to the floor.”
Bret nodded in agreement, “That would have hurt.”
“Yeah.”
“So…did we?”
“No.”
“Flip.”
“…maybe tonight’s not the night then.”
Bret sighed, “Yeah, looks like it.”
Jemaine was about to open his mouth when Bret stopped him, “I’m not playing Battleship again.”
Jemaine let out a noise of disappointment, and then asked, “Want to go out?”
“Where to?”
“Dunno. Just figured, I mean, we could go for a walk. Weather’s been nice.”
“…yeah. Ok.”
“Want to get dressed first?”
“Yeah, ok. Close your eyes though.”
“What? Why? I just saw it all.”
“You’re right. You go first. And I’ll watch.”
Jemaine groaned. Great, him and his big mouth.
ii ½. fractional tries
“Well maybe it’d happen if you didn’t giggle like a girl each time I try to, you know….” Jemaine griped.
Bret couldn’t help but laugh a little, “I can’t help it! It’s just, you know, it’s you.”
“Oh. Thanks.”
“No, no I mean…it’s just…you make the funniest face!”
“I do not!”
“You do too!”
“Ok, what does it look like then?”
Bret raised one eyebrow and rotated his head about his shoulders a bit, the look an over exaggerated attempt at sexy. Jemaine scoffed, “I don’t do that!”
“You do! You look just like that! It’s hilarious.”
“At least I’m not noisy.”
“I’m not - I don’t make noise.” Bret pouted.
“Please. Every time I touch you a bit it’s all these loud pants and whimpers. I’m starting to think that if I ever do get to touch anything important, you won’t last long.”
“Won’t last…are you implying I…that’d I’d-”
“I get the feeling when it does happen it’s going to be over before it begins.”
“I’m not…not a short fuse. Maybe you are, but I’m not-”
“I most definitely am not. I’m like…an Olympian in my…stamina.”
“Well, considering the luck we’ve been having in regard to,” Bret shook his head, “I guess I’ll never know.”
“Oh you will,” Jemaine said determinedly, “You’ll know…just maybe,” They both said “tonight’s not the night” in unison and Bret finished it off with a frustrated, “Yeah. Yeah.”
iii. third time’s the charm
Eventually it just ended up happening sort of by accident. It was cold and rainy and very late at night. Nothing about the day had been very special or noteworthy and both Bret and Jemaine had gone to bed early because of it.
Bret awoke with a gasp. He had just had a terrible nightmare. He couldn’t remember any of the specific details save that something had been chasing him. His pulse was racing and he felt on edge.
“J-Jemaine?”
Jemaine didn’t answer. Bret sat up and, wrapping his blanket tighter around himself, rose to his feet. He hissed at the feeling of the cold floor on his bare feet but trudged onward, moving over to Jemaine’s side of the room.
Jemaine was snoring, his whole body rolled over close to the wall. Bret always felt safer when he was with Jemaine, so he climbed in bed next to him and let out a pleased sigh. He was surprised but delighted, to find they both fit in the bed, it was a bit snug, but over all rather comfy.
Jemaine’s body was emanating heat and it felt nice, cozy, so Bret angled himself to one side and spooned him, thinking that, really, it was only fair. And at least Bret wasn’t putting a wig on him.
In only a matter of minutes, Bret felt his body relaxing, the remnants of the nightmare slipping away from him. As a thank you, Bret kissed Jemaine’s shoulder. Jemaine’s snoring cut off and he let out a little grunt. Bret smiled and shifted about until his mouth was level with the nape of Jemaine’s neck.
He pressed his lips there in another friendly kiss and again Jemaine grunted, but this grunt was more questioning. Jemaine’s eyes opened and he blinked sleepily. He could feel a form behind him and it took him a few moments to collect himself, “Bret? ‘Zat you?”
“Yes.”
“What’re you doing?”
“Had a nightmare. I was scared. Hope you don’t mind, got into bed with you.”
“…hmnn…don’t mind.”
“Thanks.” Bret kissed at Jemaine’s neck again and Jemaine took in a deep breath, “That feels good.”
“Does it?” Bret asked wonderingly.
“Mmmhmm.”
Bret grinned, happy to do something Jemaine enjoyed, and planted another kiss there. But this time, his mouth opened a little, making the kiss wetter and Jemaine’s breath caught.
Bret didn’t know why, but the sound of it caused a tingling of excitement in his belly. His tongue edged out and licked at Jemaine’s hairline. Jemaine felt goose bumps break out on his skin and he rolled over so he could face Bret.
The room was dark, but some light from outside reflected in, tinting everything in a sort of shadowy blue. He could make out Bret enough and he eyed Bret’s blankets. “Why d’you have those?”
Bret shrugged, “Dunno. Couldn’t…the way you were laying, I couldn’t get under your covers.”
“…you can now.”
“Oh…okay,” Bret breathed and he untangled himself from his own blankets and climbed beneath Jemaine’s. Somehow the bed seemed to get even smaller and Bret could feel the outline of Jemaine’s body close to his.
Bret swallowed and licked his lips, “Y-Yes…this…this is…better.”
They lay there, facing each other in silence and Bret couldn’t tell if Jemaine’s eyes were opened or closed but he knew Jemaine was close, he could feel the heat of his body and it made Bret feel…well, the best way he could think to describe it was tense, but in a really good way.
“Bret…are you still scared?”
“No...why?”
“I can feel….you’re sort of shaking.”
“No, I’m not.”
“You are, I can feel your side of the bed sort of…quivering. If you’re still scared I could…maybe…let me hold you?” Jemaine’s arms opened before he even managed to ask it and Bret licked his lips and found himself edging into his embrace without even a second thought.
Their bodies were touching now, pressed to each other, and Bret’s forehead was touching Jemaine’s chin, their legs intertwined. Jemaine was running his fingers through Bret’s hair and along his back and making these odd sounds in his chest that Bret assumed were supposed to be reassuring, but were making him feel uncomfortable. Not because they were bad sounds per say, but because they were so near and he could feel Jemaine’s chest.
“Bret, are you sure you’re okay? You’re still…trembling.”
“No. No, I’m fine,” Bret breathed, trying mentally to calm the beat of his heart. He couldn’t stop his trembling and he didn’t really know how to tell Jemaine why, because he was, well, Jemaine, and how do you explain these things in words to someone who knows you so well?
He just couldn’t stop this rush in his blood, this nervous excitement. All his thoughts kept tripping over themselves, tumbling over the fact that they were in bed. They were in bed together. In bed, in bed, in bed…
And he could feel Jemaine. All of him. Jemaine’s whole body, so broad and warm, the solid line of it making Bret’s bones dissolve. Bret took in a deep breath and he felt so wide awake he wasn’t sure if he would ever be able to sleep again. He shifted a bit until he was face to face with Jemaine, their foreheads touched against one another for a moment and then Jemaine let out his own unsteady breath.
“You sure you’re…okay, Bret?”
“Y-yes.”
“Bret…”
Bret made a questioning sound because he found speaking difficult.
“Can I…I want to kiss you.”
Bret nodded, then, not sure if the action could be seen and thus understood, managed to whisper, “Okay.”
Jemaine’s mouth easily found Bret’s in the dark and it was strange (they had had so many kisses that started off awkward and wrong) that this one kiss should slip through the cracks and be flawless.
The kiss was soft, slow, but somehow the impact of it shook Bret from the top of his head to the soles of his feet. He could feel the glide of Jemaine’s tongue against his own and then against the roof of his mouth and if Bret’s eyes had been open he was sure they would have rolled into the back of his head.
Jemaine’s hands were still roaming through his hair and along his back but then they found the hem of his night shirt and slid up under, touching bare hot flesh and Bret broke the kiss to moan because he couldn’t help but moan.
Bret was still shaking and he wasn’t sure if it had gotten better or worse, but breaking the kiss allowed Jemaine’s mouth to go to new, more fascinating places, as he started to feast on the expanse of Bret’s neck, kissing and licking. Jemaine started to suck hard at the juncture where Bret’s neck met his shoulder, and it was right on the edge of pain and pleasure.
Bret mewled at the feeling, his arching body causing their hips to meet, making them groan as they both felt the obvious arousal of the other. Jemaine released the spot he’d been working on and then brushed it with his tongue by way of an apology, even though in the back of his mind, he hoped it had left a mark.
Jemaine then kissed his way up, his mouth on Bret’s jaw line, his cheek, and finally on his ear, his tongue outlining the shell before his lips clamped gently over the lobe.
Bret gasped; he had never told Jemaine how sensitive his ears were but now…Bret was embarrassed because he kept making these keening noises and maybe Jemaine was right, maybe he is noisy. But Jemaine’s mouth sucked a little harder and then, oh god his teeth, and Bret’s fingertips dug into Jemaine as his body moved again, instinctively thrusting against him.
Jemaine growled throatily and his mouth left Bret’s ear as he shrugged the blankets off of them and rolled Bret beneath him, his hands going farther up under his shirt to roam, finding hard nipples that his thumbs caressed until Bret cried out again in that desperate note that was making him too hot to think straight.
Jemaine struggled with Bret’s shirt momentarily until Bret helped with it and they both tossed it far away. Once it was gone, Jemaine returned his kisses to Bret’s neck, then his collarbone, dropping soft kisses along the skin there, tracing the line of the bone toward the point of Bret’s shoulder.
Bret touched Jemaine’s head, loving the texture of his soft hair between his fingers, his free hand tracing the curve of Jemaine’s back and shoulder. Jemaine turned blindly to mouth a kiss into his palm before trailing down to Bret’s chest, his lips hovering over one of his nipples, his breath brushing over it. His mouth settled there, his tongue flicking over it gently and Bret cried out, unprepared for the hot sweetness of Jemaine’s wet tongue.
Jemaine’s hands rubbed up and down Bret’s sides, squeezing now and then. He wished vainly that he could see Bret better, that it was lighter, but in a way the dark of the night seemed fitting. It had started this way - in the warm dark with a kiss and now, well, it wasn’t going to end this way but it was certainly going to go to the next level.
Not to mention that, for some reason, not being able to see clearly was a comfort. He felt less…stressed. The pressure of wondering whether he was doing well or not seemed to be taken out of the equation somehow and Bret’s sounds…
Christ, the sounds Bret was making…hell, if Jemaine could see his face along with those sounds, he probably wouldn’t be able to contain himself. Jemaine nibbled his way across Bret’s chest to his other nipple paying some attention there before moving down Bret’s stomach and he could feel it hitch beneath him a bit. Jemaine’s tongue dipped into his navel and Bret couldn’t stop a nervous giggle from bubbling out of him. Jemaine smiled against his skin.
And Bret said he wasn’t ticklish.
Jemaine shook his head a little at the thought, then drew back, resting on his knees as he took hold of Bret’s pajama bottoms just as Bret took hold of his shirt. Jemaine had completely forgotten he was wearing clothes and once he was aware of them he realized it was stifling, the back of his shirt sticking to him. He quickly shrugged Bret’s hands off and peeled off his own shirt before returning to Bret’s bottoms and underwear, which Bret helped him remove.
Once again Jemaine felt a little disappointed there was not enough light to see, as he couldn’t see Bret fully naked now, laid out before him. But then, he had seen him naked earlier and it wasn’t an image easily unremembered. He recalled how amazing he had looked. Bret probably looked even more amazing now (if that was possible) in his current state of arousal. But then, with that thought in mind, Jemaine was thankful again for the dark as he was certain that if he saw Bret’s erection, he would feel self-conscious and awkward.
In fact, he still felt a tad inept, as he wasn’t sure what to do now. How should he start this? He almost voiced aloud how weird it was but instead licked his lips and reached out a shaking hand, stirring up all his courage. The back of his hand brushed something hard that felt like velvet and a little wet and he groaned as his body throbbed in response to it.
He managed to take a hold of Bret’s length and Bret sobbed his name. Jemaine shifted because he felt if he didn’t the pressure that was building up in his own body would explode, especially after the way Bret had so ardently said his name. Jemaine’s breath was ragged as he moved his hand experimentally, stroking up and down.
Bret made a choked noise in his throat and bucked into his hand and Jemaine could hear himself telling him ‘easy, easy’ but it didn’t sound like his voice because it was so deep and broken. Jemaine’s thumb brushed the tip, finding the wetness welling up there and spread it a little before his whole hand drew away much to Bret’s disappointment.
But Jemaine’s curiosity was strong and before he could think much about it, his thumb was in his mouth and he was licking it clean, tasting Bret. It was salty and not terribly pleasant but…inexplicably, he wanted more.
He leaned over, closer to Bret’s body and he could feel the heat rising off of him. His hand took hold of Bret’s length again and then he took a deep breath, steadying his racing pulse as he gave the head a tentative lick.
Bret jumped a little and was now questioing his sanity. Jemaine had already done so many extraordinary things that he wasn’t sure how much more he could take. And now Jemaine was…was he really going to…and oh god, Bret wanted him to.
He began muttering soft words, in what he hoped was a coaxing tone. Most of it came out jumbled, “Jemaine…please…um…fuck…your…want…mouth…take me…”
Jemaine could barely understand Bret’s hushed words over the blood rushing in his ears but the fact that Bret actually cursed was gratifying. So, heartened, he went back with more enthusiasm.
He licked at the head again before laving his tongue along the underside, his hand squeezing what his mouth hadn’t dared yet touch. Finally, drawing in another breath, he went for it and took as much of Bret’s length into his mouth as he could. His head moved slowly, down and up and then back again. It required more coordination than he had expected and his knees began to ache, but the passionate response from Bret urged him on, warmth pooling in his stomach.
And Bret, Bret was lost. Completely lost. Jemaine’s mouth was around him, warm, wet, and perfect and he felt like his skin was on fire, body drawn tight and his hands were unconsiously guiding Jemaine’s head. Bret felt close, so close and he desperately wanted to come, but not like this, not yet. Not without Jemaine.
He tugged hard at Jemaine’s hair and Jemaine’s mouth released him as he muttered an ‘ouch’. Bret made an apologetic noise, moving his hands to Jemaine’s shoulders and pulling, trying to motion for him to move up to him. Jemaine understood and their lips met again in a feverish kiss.
Bret’s body moved up against Jemaine’s, making the other man groan, his head dropping onto Bret’s neck as he responded with a thrust of his own, Jemaine’s neglected erection rubbing against Bret’s naked one.
“Together,” Bret breathed, his hands dancing up and down Jemaine’s back, then resting on the waistband of Jemaine’s briefs which he jerked at urgently. Jemaine hummed an affirmative and swiftly removed them before lurching to one side. Bret didn’t know what he was doing (it was too hard to tell) but he seemed to be reaching under the bed.
Jemaine righted himself and Bret heard something that sounded like a bottle cap popping open and then there was something cool and slick between them and he gasped at the feeling. Jemaine’s hand was between them, spreading it along Bret’s hardness and then his own and then his hand wrapped around both of them and began moving.
Bret stopped breathing as he surged up into Jemaine’s grip. It was tight and perfect and their breaths intermingled as they groaned, mouths open and gasping near each other. Jemaine’s mouth covered Bret’s, his tongue slipping in and Bret sucked on it greedily.
The kiss was savage but wonderful and Jemaine released them both because he couldn’t concentrated enough to keep stroking and instead he grabbed Bret’s hips and started thrusting against him blindly, the slickness between them enough, the heat and softness enough and this is Bret, it’s Bret he’s with, Bret’s he’s moving against…
And it’s too much, too much and he’s so close and…
Jemaine growled Bret’s name as he climaxed roughly, spilling hotly between them, bursts of light flashing before his eyes, his fingers digging in hard enough to bruise. Bret was only a few seconds after, crying out sharply as he came hard. He felt as if he would break in half. It was so good, too good…
Jemaine collapsed on top of Bret and he could swear he heard both of their hearts drumming out a crazy beat together. Jemaine slowly rolled off of Bret to one side and they both lay there, staring up sightlessly at the dark ceiling.
Bret ran a hand through his hair as he caught a much needed breath, “Whoa…that was-”
“Yeah.”
Bret swallowed, still breathless and he could feel the sweat on his body drying a little as a thought occurred to him.
“Hey Jemaine…”
“Hrm?”
“I think…I think we just had sex.”
“Did we?” Jemaine thought about this only a minute, then nodded resolutely, “Oh yeah. Yes. We did, didn’t we?”
“I mean I know I…um…you know…did-did you-”
“Yes, most definitely.”
“Oh. Good. Good.”
Jemaine looked over to Bret and he could kind of make him out in the dark, he licked his lips, nervous, “Did you like…I mean was it…good?”
“Yes.”
“I thought so too.” Jemaine said quickly, pleased that they both had enjoyed it.
“We should probably get cleaned up…take a shower…”
Jemaine yawned and rolled to one side, throwing an arm over Bret possessively, drawing him close as he mummbled sleepy gibberish. Bret frowned, “Jemaine? Did…did you hear me?”
“Mm…’m a bit sleepay…”
Bret shook his head a little. Why did sex make everyone tired except for him? He felt so...energized. But Jemaine was snuggling him close and Bret had to admit he did feel sort of winded, like he had just run up a great hill and slid down to the bottom. In fact, he still felt a bit like he was sliding, his head dizzy and Jemaine’s arm felt so snug around him.
Bret sighed and closed his eyes, falling into a deep sleep tucked into Jemaine’s side.
Unnumbered ending
The morning after held as few words as the actual event had, as both Bret and Jemaine couldn’t meet each other’s eyes without smiling madly, the occasional shy laughter bubbling out.
When they did finally manage to speak normally, it was out in front of Dave’s Pawn Shop. Dave had been on the phone when they had arrived and had only acknowledged them with an impatient wave of his hand.
They had purchased two cups of tea and some biscuits earlier, so they sat outside at the tiny round table and ate their food rather ravenously. Jemaine was the first one to speak, remarking dryly, “I’m…always hungry. You know…after.”
“It’s,” Bret’s eyebrows drew together as he thought more seriously about what Jemaine had just said, “It’s…not…right after. That…that would have been last night.”
“Oh. The…day after then. I’m always hungry the day after…you know.”
“Yeah. Me too, I guess.” Bret said as he took another big bite of his biscuit. He looked over at Jemaine and finally managed to keep his eyes there, though his face felt hot. He chewed contemplatively as he looked at Jemaine and all he could think of was last night - the dark and the heat and Jemaine’s mouth on him.
Bret worried he would choke when Jemaine turned and looked at him, face so serious. Had he looked that serious when he had-?
Jemaine spoke softly, “Um…so…how do you…feel?”
Bret made a questioning sound and Jemaine scratched at the back of his head, shrugging a little as he confessed, “I feel…good today. Like, animated.”
“Animated?”
“Yes.”
“Like a cartoon?”
“No, I mean, I feel…you know…alive.”
“You are alive.”
“No, I mean,” Jemaine sighed, irritated, “I feel…last night made me feel good…today.”
What Jemaine was saying finally clicked in Bret’s mind and he giggled a little, “Oh! Oh…I-I see.”
“And…and you?” Jemaine asked, licking his lips, “How…how do you feel today?”
“Me?” Bret squeaked and he really wished he hadn’t, because it was embarrassing, so he coughed and spoke again, “Me…I feel flippin’ awesome.”
“Do you?” Jemaine asked eagerly, as he sat up a bit straighter.
“Yes. I feel really, really awesome today, like…like I could do anything.”
“That’s good.” Jemaine breathed and he looked terribly proud, “Good, good, good…”
Another thought occurred to Bret and he leaned forward a bit, “Do I…do I look different?”
“Hmm?”
“After…what we did…do I look different? Do I look like I…like we-?”
Jemaine sucked in his breath with a hiss, “Ahhh, yes, I see. Um. No.”
“No?”
“No, no…you look exactly the same to me.”
“Oh. That’s good.”
“What about me?”
“Huh?”
“Do I look different?”
“No,” Bret said, smiling and he saw Jemaine’s hand resting on the table so he reached out and took it in his own, “You look like Jemaine.”
“I do?”
“Yes….like my Jemaine.” Bret squeezed his hand and Jemaine smiled warmly.
“There you two are!”
Bret and Jemaine’s hands broke apart as Murray walked over, his face all smiles, “I’m glad I caught you! Hoped you might be out here! I have some news that will-” Murray stopped, his gaze on Jemaine and he frowned, “Jemaine…why are you…why do you look like that?”
“Look like what?” Jemaine asked defensively, his heart skipping a beat.
“You look sort of…you’re glowing.”
“No, I’m not!”
“Yes, you are!”
“No, no.”
“You are, you are,” Murray looked at Bret and his eyes narrowed, “In fact…Bret, you look like Jemaine…sort of… phosphorescent.”
Bret shook his head rapidly, “Mm, no. No I don’t, Murray.”
“You do, both of you! You’re both glowing! It’s…blinding. I feel like lights are coming off both of you! All bright and…blinding. Radiant. Did you use some new shampoo? Or maybe-”
Dave popped his head out of the shop, phone still in his hand, “Hey guys, sorry I couldn’t say ‘hi’ before, this assface had me on the phone and was asking about…why are you two glowing?”
“We’re not glowing!” Bret and Jemaine said in adamant unison.
“See! That’s what I said! If Dave can see it then…you know…any passerby can! You both should be careful! That kind of…reflectivity…could cause an accident! Though, you know, it might be good for the band, if people can’t stop looking at you-”
Dave’s eyes widened and he pointed at them, “Holy shit! You did it! You fucking English fairies finally did it!”
Bret and Jemaine both looked uncomfortable, not meeting each other’s eyes again or that of Dave’s gloating glare or Murray’s look of utter confusion.
“Did what? What did they do?” Murray asked, then clicked his tongue and rocked on his heels, “Oh! I see, I see! Bret, Jemaine! I warned you both, didn’t I? About girlfriends and the band…still…I guess there are two lucky ladies out and about today, isn’t there?”
“You could say that,” Dave said with a chuckle and when Murray looked at him, face clouded with bewilderment, Dave’s chuckles grew worse, “Shit, you don’t know do you?! He doesn’t know! Oh god…it’s priceless!”
“Don’t know what?” Murray sputtered.
“Congratulations, you guys. Seriously. No details about it. Ever. Please. But…congratulations. He doesn’t know! Classic!” Dave went back into the shop, overcome with laughter and shaking his head, waving all of them off.
Murray looked desperately at Bret and Jemaine who continued to fastidiously avoid looking at him.
“Do either one of you want to tell me what that was all about?”
“’S’nothing, Murray.”
“Doesn’t seem to be.”
“Um, Murray…maybe we should…save this for…for a band meeting or something?” Bret suggested, hoping that, at least for now, they could get out of this conversation.
“I agree. Maybe you could…make a note of it?” Jemaine encouraged.
Murray frowned, rubbing at his chin, “Suppose I could. That’s why I was looking for you two turkeys. Wanted to make sure you didn’t forget today’s band meeting. Got some exciting news-”
“Is it a gig?”
“Maybe, but you’ll have to wait for the band meeting, won’t you Jemaine? Just like I’ll have to apparently,” Murray took a small spiral notebook out of his pants pocket as well as a pen and was about to scribble something when he asked, “Is this…is this about why you two have been so…gay, recently?”
Both Jemaine and Bret looked so startled that one would have expected a gun had gone off. Jemaine managed speech first, “What?!”
“You know, ever since we got back from New Zealand you both have been so gay.”
“So…”
“Gay? You know, happy?”
“H-happy?” Jemaine stammered.
“Yes!” Murray said in frustration, “Gay, happy, chipper…the both of you! Then again, glowing today…must go hand in hand with it, right? I’ll just make my note here for the band meeting,” Murray started scribbling in the notebook, saying aloud what he was writing, “Item…three…Bret…Jemaine…gay…why…question mark…”
Murray closed the notebook and regarded both of them with raised eyebrows, “I’ll see you two later then, shall I? We can discuss the other two items as well as this…new one.”
Both Bret and Jemaine managed agreeable sounds that sent Murray off and on his way. Bret was the first to speak, “Well that was…different.”
“I’m not looking forward to our band meeting now.”
“What about the exciting news?”
“I’m looking forward to that, but not-”
“Maybe he’ll forget.”
“Unlikely, he wrote it down in his notebook.” Jemaine shrugged then and sipped his tea, “He’ll come around to the idea.”
“You think?”
“Mm - long as he can think of a way to market it, I’m sure he will.”
“I hope…he doesn’t want us to wear costumes or something.”
“If he does, I’m not doing it,” Jemaine muttered, then looked at Bret with sudden interest, a sparkle in his eyes, “So, um…we have…some time.”
“Some time?”
“Before the band meeting.”
“We do?”
Jemaine nodded, his voice rushed, “And…we don’t have much else planned past this so…maybe…I mean…if you want to. Again, maybe?”
“Again?” Bret repeated then it sank in and he felt himself flush. “Oh. OH! That…again.”
“Yes,” Jemaine said his voice unmistakably lustful. He definitely was no longer having trouble looking at him, his eyes burning Bret’s body with an appraising glance. Bret swallowed and he felt…tense again. He rose to his feet, “Yes. Ok. We…we should hurry, I think…”
“Can’t wait?”
“No,” Bret breathed.
“Me either.” Jemaine said as he got to his feet. He took Bret’s hand in his, giving him a quick kiss as they hurried home.