Title: The Crossroads Conundrum
Part 2: Penny
Author: she_burns1
Pairing: Sheldon/Penny, Leonard/Penny
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,713
Summary: Future!fic! Sheldon, Penny, and Leonard all thought they knew exactly what they wanted, but with a big change on the way, all three begin to question themselves, and each of them is lead in a direction they had not anticipated.
Disclaimer: All recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The plot is all mine. No copyright infringement is intended.
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Part 1 Never pretend to a love which you do not actually feel, for love is not ours to command - Alan Watts
The one thing no one had ever anticipated was that things would go well.
Penny thought of this as she brushed her hair and stared in her bathroom mirror. She had been brushing her hair and staring into the mirror for, what felt like, centuries now.
There was so much to do.
Too much to do.
And here she was, brushing her hair and staring at her reflection and thinking about how things had gone well. Not fantastic. Not amazing. Just…well.
Time was such a strange thing. She was sure one of the guys could explain it to her in big, scientific terms but to her, it just felt like time was like a rubber band. Sometimes it was close together and malleable and at other times it seemed stretched and far in between.
Right now, it seemed like the former - so quick, so…rubbery in her mind. She made a face at this thought and her mind flashed quickly to Sheldon and how he would disapprove of such a description.
Sheldon.
She shook her head and sighed as she finally put down the brush. She looked away from her reflection and was surprised at how…relieved, she felt by doing that. As if she couldn’t bear to look at herself anymore.
Penny took in a deep breath and licked her lips as she rolled her head about her shoulders. She felt tense. She needed to relax. It wouldn’t do for her to stress out. Especially with the big day so close.
The big day.
She should be excited. No, no, she was excited. Wasn’t she? Of course she was. What woman wouldn’t be excited to be getting married? And she had nothing to worry about. She had made the right decision. No, scratch that, she had made a fantastic decision.
Penny exited her bathroom and went out into her tiny apartment. She smiled at the numerous, tiny white baskets that seemed to cover any free surface in her apartment - her kitchen table, her couch - little white baskets with penny blossoms and candy inside, wrapped in clear plastic, white ribbons tying them off.
She sat at her kitchen table and picked one up, turning it in her hands this way and that, admiring it. They were just like she had envisioned them. Wonderful favors. She looked along the ribbon and saw the neatly printed gold letters.
Leonard and Penny.
No one had ever anticipated that things would go well.
Not even her.
It had been a few years ago. They had come back from the Artic and she had missed them so much. She had missed him so much. Leonard Hofstadter. Good ol’ Leonard. He had always been so easy to talk to. And he had always been there for her. And he had always thought her so…important.
It had just seemed natural to try again.
After all, what did she have to lose?
Sure, she wasn’t as smart as he was, but, in his own way, he wasn’t as smart as she was either and she just - she thought she should try again.
Because, frankly, Penny was tried of failure.
She knew, deep down, that, in many, many ways, she had failed. Failed enormously and failed often.
She had failed to please her father.
She had failed to complete college.
She had failed to get a job as an actress.
She had failed to get in a relationship with a smart, sensitive man who also happened to look like a gorgeous, male-model.
She had just…failed.
So, Penny had decided to try something that maybe she wouldn’t fail at. Their first date had been a disaster, but maybe if they just tried again, maybe a second time, it would work.
And it did.
The second time.
It worked.
Once she had stopped worrying so much about being as smart as he was, things with Leonard had been…nice. Nice and simple. And after a few nice dates, they had settled comfortably into being a couple.
He was an attentive boyfriend. And the sex wasn’t bad. It wasn’t earth shattering, but it met her needs. It was okay. And he was warm and sweet and not bad to look at.
It was…good.
She was happy.
Well, happy enough.
Satisfied.
Besides, it always did give her a bit of a thrill when they went to some science function and he showed her off. Not that there was much competition to beat. But it was always nice to feel like the most beautiful girl in the room. She worried about what that said about her - she had never thought of herself as the kind of girl who was just ‘eye candy’ or ‘arm candy’ or what have you…but she wasn’t going to deny it felt gratifying to see Leonard showing her off a bit.
Leonard.
Poor, poor Leonard.
So sweet, so nice.
He deserved something good in his life. Someone good. And she had been that person. She was that person. And he was the same for her. They worked together. It was good. It was functional.
More often than not they did what they always had done, but now there was someone to kiss, someone to hold, someone to be intimate with should the need arise. And it was something of a relief, not to have to search for a person to do those things with, not to have to date.
And Penny all ready knew Leonard’s friends and family and for him, well, she had introduced him to some of her friends and it had gone okay. They had sort of balked at him at first - the whole ‘he’s not your type’ - but it had all worked out.
After all, Penny wasn’t getting any younger and most of her friends were all ready dropping the club and bar scene for weddings and babies and so on. Last she had heard, this was what it was called to ‘grow up’.
She had had to do that at some point, right?
Grow up.
So, being with Leonard, being in a relationship with him, it was a good thing. A grown up thing. It was safe.
She felt safe.
She felt good.
She felt nice.
She felt…well.
And agreeing to marry him, that had just been the next step, it was just moving forward. It was progress. He was sweet and nice and good and he would make her happy. He would take care of her and she would take care of him and it would be a good relationship. A good marriage. They would be fine together.
They would have kids and sleep in the same bed every night and they would live happily ever after. Or…at least…they would live together and it would be…well.
All would be well.
Penny put the basket down and rested her elbow on the table, her face resting against the palm of her hand. She didn’t want to, but she did, she closed her eyes.
It was Saturday night. She walked barefoot down to the laundry room, basket rested on one hip. It was all ready a humid night and the machines were putting out extra warmth, but surprisingly it didn’t feel sticky or uncomfortable it just felt sort of…dreamlike.
She entered the room and smirked, seeing Sheldon. Every Saturday night. Like clockwork. There he was, methodically loading one of the washing machines. Her head felt sort of light, nerves on edge (jittering) but she ignored it.
He turned and there was that look on his face. That look like he had a strange taste in his mouth and he wasn’t sure whether it was a good one or a bad one. Then he just sort of nodded his head, “Penny.”
Penny opened her eyes and felt terribly heavy.
Sheldon.
From the moment she had started dating Leonard, she had always assumed Sheldon would be a big problem. Even before they had dated, he had always been…overwhelming. But after? Oh, she had expected the worst.
She had imagined signing contract after contract of rules (no sleeping over, no leaving articles of her clothing on the premises, no public-displays-of-affection). She had imagined his becoming a thorn in their side. A sort of adopted, wayward child attached to their relationship.
After all, he had certainly been a hindrance to Leonard’s past relationships (Leslie, Stephanie), she didn’t imagine she would be exempt.
And, of course, Sheldon had had his moments. It hadn’t been easy. But eventually it had smoothed over. Because, after all, as annoying as Sheldon could be, at the end of the day he was Leonard’s friend. And as his friend, he knew how much this relationship meant to him.
And so, for the most part, Sheldon had been rather supportive of Leonard’s relationship with Penny.
It had been…settled.
And, Penny didn’t know why…
But that…
Well…
It was just, sometimes, that left her feeling unsettled.
Which made absolutely no sense.
No sense whatsoever.
Or at least it hadn’t, until-
Warmth and warm, warm air holding the scent of fabric softener. Long fingers reaching out, tucking away a stray strand of her hair behind her ear, brushing her cheek, blinking blue eyes and a voice, a voice so normally cooled and assured and put together. A voice that this time trembled, “I don’t know why I did that. My…apologies.”
Penny swallowed thickly and her eyes felt hot and suddenly she was so upset, so angry, she could barely stand it.
She rubbed at her face, cursing.
Her eyes fell on the boxes and suddenly she hated them. Hated them almost as much as she hated herself.
I made the right decision, she thought emphatically, I love Leonard.
She shook her head, and more than anything in the world, she wished she didn’t sound so desperate in her own mind.