Today in Latin class this kid passed me a note that said
"TOP SECRET INFO" and the on the inside it said

"Colei=Latin for 'ballsack'.  It's going to be the bonus on the next quiz. just a heads up!"

sometimes i feel like my life is a story out of a david sedaris essay.

countdown to bjork/MIA show: 6 days

Last night was too good. Everyone went to Mercurios and was wasted in no time.
The toilet overflowed and I got a lesson from a shirtless boy on plunging.
It was Jennys 20th birthday and god are those boys good. I haven't been that drunk in a while and its a wonder that I got home in one piece, really it is. Especially driving home at 430, I thought ( Read more... )

I'm being pursued by these 19 year old lebanese dudes who own a restaurant next to the dry cleaners ( Read more... )

my best pal is gone and I'm reminding myself every time i blink or exhale to quit being so goddamn selfish,
this is what he wants, he is excited, this is great for him!
i never imagined that i'd have to say bye to my best friend while hes drunk at a bar on yacht club night wearing a shirt with fish and martinis on it.  the tootsie roll song from 8th ( Read more... )

Its getting pretty old being public enemy number one just for being born in 1989.
get a fucking life

I'm out of shape and after walking on campus for hours on end I'm getting serious leg cramps, how pathetic ( Read more... )

on my first day I sat near a girl whose name was katie ridgley.
what the fuck

first day of college tomorrow.
so nervous

WUDDUP new york city, here come grace and katie.
wuddup mary kate olsen and your expensive ass apartment, wuddup dolce and gabbana, wuddup TopShop, here we come.
i'm saving every fucking cent until october 18. dont invite me to do anything that costs money so that way i'm not tempted.