Spatial (Lack of) Awareness Suck

[shehops]

You know what? It's true: I am spatially challenged to a remarkable degree. I believe I've already made mention of the various injurious indignities that I heap upon myself as a result of this. And I'm used to it, really. I was just born under the star of Klutziness.

I imagine that it lends me a certain quirky, off-kilter charm. Because I'm delusional.

But I could really, really use a break from it right about now. Because there's only so much a single fragile human body can take, for chiton's sake. Just in the last two days I have:

• Opened a gate directly into my forehead, even though I was looking right at it* at the time, because I'm not very good at knowing where I am in relation to other things. At all. This resulted in a goose egg.
  
  
• Twisted my foot while walking a dog and fallen directly into the mud. Of course, into the mud. (Oh, all right. To be fair, it is winter. It's pretty much all mud out there.) Result: limping. Sexy!
  
  
• Stood up too soon and slammed my head into the top of a cage- for approximately the hundredth time since I started this job. You'd think that by now, after having cleaned them so many times that I sometimes dream about it, I would have a sense of the dimensions of the cages. But you would be wrong. See above, re: "Hop is spatially challenged."
  
  
• Whacked my knuckles against a counter I was walking past hard enough to cause a "Thwack!" sound that I swear actually echoed off the ceiling. Result: My knuckles are plotting my death. You know, probably.

Honest to Abraham, I have no idea how I've managed to survive myself for as long as I have.

* The gate, not my forehead. Not being a Talosian, I can't see my forehead without a mirror.