Review I talk to much in.
I'm totally not comfortable posting this. Sooo embarrassing. oh and I totally listed to Plumb - Damaged ever time I read it.
This is such a sprawling world, it's amazing how much you've built.... it's even more amazing how subtly you've changed things, little by little you gentle nudge it onto a completely different path. You've built this great sprawling world with these grand cultures and you're not just telling us that but showing us, little details all together and it's so enjoyable and these little details are so fascinating... Red cord and Three cups of Sake - this is probably my favorite.
Oh and I just want to say up front pairing wise I like Shirong/Zuko and Toph/Zuko... I refuse to be ashamed of liking what I like... More details down on character blaberings.
Plot;
Askjklflafl Healing fire! Yes~ God I've wanted to see this, Also Dragons! Please tell me Zuko eventually gains a dragon form or something... because that would be so awesome!
I am ridiculously enjoying the spirits... It's something I also enjoy in real life so seeing it explored and incorporated into this is beyond interesting, I am so hooked.
I will admit to being a little disappointed that you've yet to show the fox god responsible for growing rice (avatar relevant grains) or maybe the foxes were servants of the god who does so... I can't really remember where I read this, But it was something about their being a shrine in japan to a god who helped the rice grow and he was either a fox or had fox servants and he was one of the more Benevolent deities who was kind in a spirit who doesn't really get humans way.
"Just like Aang. Never. Wants. To hurt. Anyone." God yes this. This. You pointed out in a note that The fire nation believes in the Avatar the way surviving victims of Katrina believe in hurricanes. Or how those who live in tornado alley believe in Tornado’s. We had three touch down within miles of our home once and god but we all just kinda huddled and prayed. Scary shit man, scary, scary shit.
"Spirits, if an Avatar's going to kill my people, at least let it not be an accident." Oh shit Sephiroth indeed. I have over 6 nieces and nephews and I've helped raise most. The idea of a 12 year old having that much power should be nightmare fuel for anyone who's raised a kid, even if it's only peripherally. There are reasons why children all register as psychopaths.
“Kyoshi came, she destroyed, and she left, never lingering to see what she had wrought.” Just think about how close Kyoshi came to committing a Sozin... Genocide in one day anyone...
"Though when we have legends of shape-shifters, it's the human who goes to the sea. Not the other way around." - I do want to know how this works.
Teo felt a little queasy. If the spirits really were out there, they wouldn't do that to Aang. He was one of the good guys. - what the fuck is up with these kids? God, I haven't been that naive since my age was in single digit numbers.
The scene of Aang and his parents(you were totally hinting at Shih being his dad) is lovely and painful and painfully lovely. Gods but Harmonious accord is just evil, poor Gyate.
"Right, start from the beginning," the firebender nodded. "I first met the boss when - oh. Let me make something perfectly clear. The artworks? I won't lie. They were mine. Very classy. But I was totally innocent of the loaded dice..." - goddamn you and your amazing OC's! … are you married?
Characterization;
Amaya - "He's not the one who needs a nice girl." Blue eyes danced. "Though I don't think I've been nice for a few decades." She is one of those field doctors, you know the kind. She's tough as nails and kinda grouchy but you can tell she just really generally cares about people. I mean I'm assuming water healers are very sought after so if she wanted she could be rich with all that that implies and yet she stays in what effectively is the slums so that she can help people. You have to admire that about her, also the way she snips at every ones is just Heeee~
"No?" Iroh did his best to look surprised. And innocent. And cuddly. "Don't even think about it." Still scowling, she stood, and hmphed. - why is this so cute.
Dead bodies and mayhem be damned. It was a magnificent day. "Is that a yes, my lady?" Iroh dared."You old scoundrel." Blue eyes danced. "Who else am I going to find willing to stand with me no matter what goes wrong? Of course it's a yes!"
Iroh - If there had been a spirit in front of them, Iroh would have set it on fire. - Why do I love this so much, god he's just so amusing and the way he just grumbles about the spirits is just... yeah I could quote him lots. I support badass general Iroh. Killing generals with lightning for daring to attack is nephew.
"Steamed leaf juice?" "How can one of my own family say such a thing?" And their interactions are lovely, makes me all warm and fuzzy.
Zuko still had one hand over his face, as if to blot out painful reality. "Uncle. You asked the spirits for help again. Didn't you.""Ah. Well-""Stop doing that!" - Gyehehehehehe
Zuko - "Just wait. Whatever it is, it'll get us later. When you're not expecting it." - Zuko has no luck and no help other than his uncle, on top of being abused by his family, on top of genetics and just wow. You make me hurt for Zuko and cheer him on by turns. He just tries so hard and rarely does he get any reward for doing good things and yet he keeps trying and keeps going and that determination of his is both fearsome and admirable.
No threat. Safe. Us, here, now. Safe, glad to see you, worried... I really love this part, it's always interesting to see the dragon parts of Zuko, if Huojin was a dragon he'd probably be able to understand this huh.
Massive gold eyes blinked at him. A tender nose snorted flickers of blue flame. :Cub?:Like Shidan. Like Ryuuko-hime. Images, not words. Shivering, Zuko reached back. :My people, wounded. Sheltering caldera. Danger to come. My people, against the darkness-that-steals-souls...: - My interest in how exactly Zuko differs from a human is now reaching critical levels! Curiosity~
"So decide where you stand, Aang. And stand." - Fuck Yes!
Shirong - "The hero's supposed to get the girl. You know, the handsome prince, or the injured, bleeding common bender who saved the day in the nick of time? It's a fundamental law of the universe!" - I never meant to fall so in love with an OC. I mean he's so cute and gets along with Zuko so well, He's just so enjoyable to read. Also I kinda ended up wanting him with Zuko-what? I don't know where it came from either! But somewhere along the way I found myself thinking of how cute~ it'd be and then it just kinda took to sitting at the back of all their interactions. Even if they just remain friends you wrote some great chemistry between them. Though I will admit to being a sad sad reader if you never explore this particular paring just because I can't write it myself and I really want it... Like REALLY want it.
"On a volcano!" Shirong shouted. "You said on! This is not on! This is the utter and complete opposite of on!" - I laugh every time I read this.
"Hit them with your hat," Zuko suggested."Your sense of humor knows no lower bounds," Shirong said dryly. - Why is his hat on fire.
Toph - Is my favorite canon character. I love what you've done with her, she's so amazing. She just kicks so much ass, Metal bending did not get enough screen time. Also I kinda want her to grow up and marry Zuko she'd be so good for him... and this is the only het pairing that I actually support in this fandom.
And you're my friend. How can I let someone kill my friend? - everything from here to here- Zuko thought she was like sunrise on mountains. That was kind of cool. - is just all kinds of love and awesomeness. This is good in that it shows that Zuko is healing, kinda. I mean he's actually reaching out to someone, heck someone who isn't even uncle. That good, it's good to see that... I'm glad to see that, glad for Zuko. It's not because I like the pairing either, though it is cute.
Shidan - "I know that many humans are not like that," he said soberly. "I cannot understand why, but I know it is true." He scowled at her, only half playful. "Why must you be so confusing?" - I love the juxtaposition between intelligent person vs Human, your dragons are just soooo interesting!!!
"You are mistaken, Captain." Shidan's gaze was level, and just as deadly. "I stand between you, and my grandson." - It's nice to see family other than uncle that actually cares about Zuko.
Hama had thought. Hama had reacted. All in the space of one breath. Shidan had moved. - oooh dragon~ Yeah Shidan kicks all kinds of ass.
Langxue - "Give me that." Langxue snatched the venom-ice away before it could land again, shaking his head. "Why do dragons always have to poke things?""It's our job," Zuko said innocently."Agni can't be everywhere. So we have to poke things for him. And then humans showed up-""And fire's never slowed down since," Langxue muttered. - he and Saoluan are amusingly amusing.
"Young! You said he was young! You didn't say he was stupid!" - Oh my, hehe, Iroh getting chewed out here is just funny. Also I love how he gets all fired up about this, because for a while there I did thing you were just going to have him go along with aang about everything but no he has his lines drawn and he's not budging.
Temul - "Let me show you life in the midst of fire." Fuckin hell she is Bad Ass wooh! "You never asked why Sozin slew me."
"Oh? And has he been blind and deaf since he woke to our world once more?" - yes this, right here. This! I've never been to another country but I have talked to an exchange student and even just that was enough to open my eyes to cultural differences between us.
Aang - I just want to shake him. I'm glad you explain everything so well, I'm glad he's finally getting the life lessons that canon never gave, I'm glad that your making him grow up and learn about the other cultures. Reverence for life is fine, upstanding, and idealistic. But when all's said and done, count which nations are still standing. Yes, I am quoting you. Repeatedly.
Langxue was using air. And airbenders weren't supposed to be violent. Ever. That was what being an Air Monk was all about. If Langxue was an airbender, he had to put that sword down. - oh aang you keep this up and your going to get a clue by four, to the face. Langxue is not happy.
Azula - “Silly Zuzu, Azula's voice crooned as he walked. You know nothing you love is yours to keep.” God you make me like her even though I hate her. She's so ruthless and even though she's tearing strips off of Zuko I still can't help but think wow whenever she's tearing up the battlefield or plotting, god she is good at plotting. Pretty like a coral snake and twice as deadly.
Ty Lee was holding her, warm and alive and whispering not your fault, you did what was right... - man I actually feel sorry for Azula right now... more words I thought I'd never say.
Mai - "Never give up, I'll be back." Mai is so cool, also she is the original gothic knife thrower.
She would have saved you, Azula. Someone would have saved you. - I love these three together and I totally believe Ty Lee and Azula are dating...
Ty Lee - I really don't have much to say about her other than :Glee Face:!
Meixiang - "Sweet, deadly, and broken. Your uncle's going to have to beat them off with a stick." I wish she was my mom.
Hyuojin - "So chin up, take a deep breath, and keep moving. You pulled off a damn miracle last night. Stop whining because you're not perfect." He is amuzing as all heck and damn what is it with you and making these lovely lovely OC's!
Teruko and other various firenavi oc's - I just love them all to bits, all loyal and prickly and just plain silly sometimes. Heee~
Katara - God I didn't like a lot about her in the canon and you have finally given me a concrete fix on the why. She's damaged, it's understandable, it's not an excuse, and you've managed to break down her mentality a little so that I can empathize with her a little better than before.
Sokka - Who doesn't love the meat and sarcasm guy, and the plan guy, because really he's just a great bundle of dorky fun.
"You pour your heart into him like water... Sokka. There is nothing in him that can give it back.""Yeah," Sokka admitted, almost a whisper. "I know." - Finally! I really wanted at least one of the gang to realize this and admit it, I was betting on Toph because Katara's too good at ignoring what she doesn't want to see or admit. But it fits that it would be Sokka, really well actually.
Kuei - "Agent Bon. Are you telling me I need to get married?" Dorky yet badass, dude he totally handled that stupid owl.
Makoto - "A pity. And I had thought your sister his true heir..." Wait you have to explain this! Come on~ What's she mean?
Asahi - Yes I am a fan. "Who's a sweetheart?" indeed. - "Don't eat him!" Zuko called to Asahi."You don't know where he's been!" You'd think a sane soldier would be just a little more concerned about the ostrich-horse trying to take his arm off
Prickily Yoniguni hen, Avatar Mobed by Turtleducks, Silk seaspiders, RattleVipers, Man you just keep me interested in both the characters and the whole freakin world, and everything in it! Animals, Plants, Spirits! You have ruined me for any other AtLA fanfiction ever!!!!! ...<3
Also You are not allowed to remove your author notes, they are both amusing and informative. Also also, you have no idea how many times I've reread this... soo many times. (double digits)
This is such a sprawling world, it's amazing how much you've built.... it's even more amazing how subtly you've changed things, little by little you gentle nudge it onto a completely different path. You've built this great sprawling world with these grand cultures and you're not just telling us that but showing us, little details all together and it's so enjoyable and these little details are so fascinating... Red cord and Three cups of Sake - this is probably my favorite.
Oh and I just want to say up front pairing wise I like Shirong/Zuko and Toph/Zuko... I refuse to be ashamed of liking what I like... More details down on character blaberings.
Plot;
Askjklflafl Healing fire! Yes~ God I've wanted to see this, Also Dragons! Please tell me Zuko eventually gains a dragon form or something... because that would be so awesome!
I am ridiculously enjoying the spirits... It's something I also enjoy in real life so seeing it explored and incorporated into this is beyond interesting, I am so hooked.
I will admit to being a little disappointed that you've yet to show the fox god responsible for growing rice (avatar relevant grains) or maybe the foxes were servants of the god who does so... I can't really remember where I read this, But it was something about their being a shrine in japan to a god who helped the rice grow and he was either a fox or had fox servants and he was one of the more Benevolent deities who was kind in a spirit who doesn't really get humans way.
"Just like Aang. Never. Wants. To hurt. Anyone." God yes this. This. You pointed out in a note that The fire nation believes in the Avatar the way surviving victims of Katrina believe in hurricanes. Or how those who live in tornado alley believe in Tornado’s. We had three touch down within miles of our home once and god but we all just kinda huddled and prayed. Scary shit man, scary, scary shit.
"Spirits, if an Avatar's going to kill my people, at least let it not be an accident." Oh shit Sephiroth indeed. I have over 6 nieces and nephews and I've helped raise most. The idea of a 12 year old having that much power should be nightmare fuel for anyone who's raised a kid, even if it's only peripherally. There are reasons why children all register as psychopaths.
“Kyoshi came, she destroyed, and she left, never lingering to see what she had wrought.” Just think about how close Kyoshi came to committing a Sozin... Genocide in one day anyone...
"Though when we have legends of shape-shifters, it's the human who goes to the sea. Not the other way around." - I do want to know how this works.
Teo felt a little queasy. If the spirits really were out there, they wouldn't do that to Aang. He was one of the good guys. - what the fuck is up with these kids? God, I haven't been that naive since my age was in single digit numbers.
The scene of Aang and his parents(you were totally hinting at Shih being his dad) is lovely and painful and painfully lovely. Gods but Harmonious accord is just evil, poor Gyate.
"Right, start from the beginning," the firebender nodded. "I first met the boss when - oh. Let me make something perfectly clear. The artworks? I won't lie. They were mine. Very classy. But I was totally innocent of the loaded dice..." - goddamn you and your amazing OC's! … are you married?
Characterization;
Amaya - "He's not the one who needs a nice girl." Blue eyes danced. "Though I don't think I've been nice for a few decades." She is one of those field doctors, you know the kind. She's tough as nails and kinda grouchy but you can tell she just really generally cares about people. I mean I'm assuming water healers are very sought after so if she wanted she could be rich with all that that implies and yet she stays in what effectively is the slums so that she can help people. You have to admire that about her, also the way she snips at every ones is just Heeee~
"No?" Iroh did his best to look surprised. And innocent. And cuddly. "Don't even think about it." Still scowling, she stood, and hmphed. - why is this so cute.
Dead bodies and mayhem be damned. It was a magnificent day. "Is that a yes, my lady?" Iroh dared."You old scoundrel." Blue eyes danced. "Who else am I going to find willing to stand with me no matter what goes wrong? Of course it's a yes!"
Iroh - If there had been a spirit in front of them, Iroh would have set it on fire. - Why do I love this so much, god he's just so amusing and the way he just grumbles about the spirits is just... yeah I could quote him lots. I support badass general Iroh. Killing generals with lightning for daring to attack is nephew.
"Steamed leaf juice?" "How can one of my own family say such a thing?" And their interactions are lovely, makes me all warm and fuzzy.
Zuko still had one hand over his face, as if to blot out painful reality. "Uncle. You asked the spirits for help again. Didn't you.""Ah. Well-""Stop doing that!" - Gyehehehehehe
Zuko - "Just wait. Whatever it is, it'll get us later. When you're not expecting it." - Zuko has no luck and no help other than his uncle, on top of being abused by his family, on top of genetics and just wow. You make me hurt for Zuko and cheer him on by turns. He just tries so hard and rarely does he get any reward for doing good things and yet he keeps trying and keeps going and that determination of his is both fearsome and admirable.
No threat. Safe. Us, here, now. Safe, glad to see you, worried... I really love this part, it's always interesting to see the dragon parts of Zuko, if Huojin was a dragon he'd probably be able to understand this huh.
Massive gold eyes blinked at him. A tender nose snorted flickers of blue flame. :Cub?:Like Shidan. Like Ryuuko-hime. Images, not words. Shivering, Zuko reached back. :My people, wounded. Sheltering caldera. Danger to come. My people, against the darkness-that-steals-souls...: - My interest in how exactly Zuko differs from a human is now reaching critical levels! Curiosity~
"So decide where you stand, Aang. And stand." - Fuck Yes!
Shirong - "The hero's supposed to get the girl. You know, the handsome prince, or the injured, bleeding common bender who saved the day in the nick of time? It's a fundamental law of the universe!" - I never meant to fall so in love with an OC. I mean he's so cute and gets along with Zuko so well, He's just so enjoyable to read. Also I kinda ended up wanting him with Zuko-what? I don't know where it came from either! But somewhere along the way I found myself thinking of how cute~ it'd be and then it just kinda took to sitting at the back of all their interactions. Even if they just remain friends you wrote some great chemistry between them. Though I will admit to being a sad sad reader if you never explore this particular paring just because I can't write it myself and I really want it... Like REALLY want it.
"On a volcano!" Shirong shouted. "You said on! This is not on! This is the utter and complete opposite of on!" - I laugh every time I read this.
"Hit them with your hat," Zuko suggested."Your sense of humor knows no lower bounds," Shirong said dryly. - Why is his hat on fire.
Toph - Is my favorite canon character. I love what you've done with her, she's so amazing. She just kicks so much ass, Metal bending did not get enough screen time. Also I kinda want her to grow up and marry Zuko she'd be so good for him... and this is the only het pairing that I actually support in this fandom.
And you're my friend. How can I let someone kill my friend? - everything from here to here- Zuko thought she was like sunrise on mountains. That was kind of cool. - is just all kinds of love and awesomeness. This is good in that it shows that Zuko is healing, kinda. I mean he's actually reaching out to someone, heck someone who isn't even uncle. That good, it's good to see that... I'm glad to see that, glad for Zuko. It's not because I like the pairing either, though it is cute.
Shidan - "I know that many humans are not like that," he said soberly. "I cannot understand why, but I know it is true." He scowled at her, only half playful. "Why must you be so confusing?" - I love the juxtaposition between intelligent person vs Human, your dragons are just soooo interesting!!!
"You are mistaken, Captain." Shidan's gaze was level, and just as deadly. "I stand between you, and my grandson." - It's nice to see family other than uncle that actually cares about Zuko.
Hama had thought. Hama had reacted. All in the space of one breath. Shidan had moved. - oooh dragon~ Yeah Shidan kicks all kinds of ass.
Langxue - "Give me that." Langxue snatched the venom-ice away before it could land again, shaking his head. "Why do dragons always have to poke things?""It's our job," Zuko said innocently."Agni can't be everywhere. So we have to poke things for him. And then humans showed up-""And fire's never slowed down since," Langxue muttered. - he and Saoluan are amusingly amusing.
"Young! You said he was young! You didn't say he was stupid!" - Oh my, hehe, Iroh getting chewed out here is just funny. Also I love how he gets all fired up about this, because for a while there I did thing you were just going to have him go along with aang about everything but no he has his lines drawn and he's not budging.
Temul - "Let me show you life in the midst of fire." Fuckin hell she is Bad Ass wooh! "You never asked why Sozin slew me."
"Oh? And has he been blind and deaf since he woke to our world once more?" - yes this, right here. This! I've never been to another country but I have talked to an exchange student and even just that was enough to open my eyes to cultural differences between us.
Aang - I just want to shake him. I'm glad you explain everything so well, I'm glad he's finally getting the life lessons that canon never gave, I'm glad that your making him grow up and learn about the other cultures. Reverence for life is fine, upstanding, and idealistic. But when all's said and done, count which nations are still standing. Yes, I am quoting you. Repeatedly.
Langxue was using air. And airbenders weren't supposed to be violent. Ever. That was what being an Air Monk was all about. If Langxue was an airbender, he had to put that sword down. - oh aang you keep this up and your going to get a clue by four, to the face. Langxue is not happy.
Azula - “Silly Zuzu, Azula's voice crooned as he walked. You know nothing you love is yours to keep.” God you make me like her even though I hate her. She's so ruthless and even though she's tearing strips off of Zuko I still can't help but think wow whenever she's tearing up the battlefield or plotting, god she is good at plotting. Pretty like a coral snake and twice as deadly.
Ty Lee was holding her, warm and alive and whispering not your fault, you did what was right... - man I actually feel sorry for Azula right now... more words I thought I'd never say.
Mai - "Never give up, I'll be back." Mai is so cool, also she is the original gothic knife thrower.
She would have saved you, Azula. Someone would have saved you. - I love these three together and I totally believe Ty Lee and Azula are dating...
Ty Lee - I really don't have much to say about her other than :Glee Face:!
Meixiang - "Sweet, deadly, and broken. Your uncle's going to have to beat them off with a stick." I wish she was my mom.
Hyuojin - "So chin up, take a deep breath, and keep moving. You pulled off a damn miracle last night. Stop whining because you're not perfect." He is amuzing as all heck and damn what is it with you and making these lovely lovely OC's!
Teruko and other various firenavi oc's - I just love them all to bits, all loyal and prickly and just plain silly sometimes. Heee~
Katara - God I didn't like a lot about her in the canon and you have finally given me a concrete fix on the why. She's damaged, it's understandable, it's not an excuse, and you've managed to break down her mentality a little so that I can empathize with her a little better than before.
Sokka - Who doesn't love the meat and sarcasm guy, and the plan guy, because really he's just a great bundle of dorky fun.
"You pour your heart into him like water... Sokka. There is nothing in him that can give it back.""Yeah," Sokka admitted, almost a whisper. "I know." - Finally! I really wanted at least one of the gang to realize this and admit it, I was betting on Toph because Katara's too good at ignoring what she doesn't want to see or admit. But it fits that it would be Sokka, really well actually.
Kuei - "Agent Bon. Are you telling me I need to get married?" Dorky yet badass, dude he totally handled that stupid owl.
Makoto - "A pity. And I had thought your sister his true heir..." Wait you have to explain this! Come on~ What's she mean?
Asahi - Yes I am a fan. "Who's a sweetheart?" indeed. - "Don't eat him!" Zuko called to Asahi."You don't know where he's been!" You'd think a sane soldier would be just a little more concerned about the ostrich-horse trying to take his arm off
Prickily Yoniguni hen, Avatar Mobed by Turtleducks, Silk seaspiders, RattleVipers, Man you just keep me interested in both the characters and the whole freakin world, and everything in it! Animals, Plants, Spirits! You have ruined me for any other AtLA fanfiction ever!!!!! ...<3
Also You are not allowed to remove your author notes, they are both amusing and informative. Also also, you have no idea how many times I've reread this... soo many times. (double digits)